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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? (11873 Views)
For The Ladies: Moving Out Of Your Parent's House, Yay Or Nay? / Why Cant A Lady Return To Her Parent's House After A Fight With Her Husband? / Moving Out From Parent's House- Your Experience! (2) (3) (4)
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Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Nobody: 10:07pm On Oct 28, 2014 |
Tallesty1: The topic was not about moving out against parental advice. Anyway. A piece of advice won't hurt but following it might. |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Tallesty1(m): 10:14pm On Oct 28, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:When she can and wants to. It is her choice defies every form of restriction or advice. Because it is her choice. |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Nobody: 10:20pm On Oct 28, 2014 |
Tallesty1: It does not defy any form of advice but it gives her the freedom to take it or to leave it. |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by TV01(m): 10:23pm On Oct 28, 2014 |
As ever lots of off-point examples and willful reasoning. What freedoms can one enjoy when living alone that one cannot when living with parents? All that nonsense about learning to run a home. As if you don't first learn that at home? TV 1 Like |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by EfemenaXY: 10:45pm On Oct 28, 2014 |
Tallesty1: Why am I interested in this debate? What am I trying to make you say/do/become? I read no meaning(s) in your comment(s) neither do I understand your standpoint - whatever that is. Now stop reading meanings into my questions. 5 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by AfricanApple(f): 10:52pm On Oct 28, 2014 |
alutacontinua:good points, 2likes for u if u don't learn to be on your own and u suddenly found yourself alone one day, its gonna be bad 2 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by LaurelP(m): 11:33pm On Oct 28, 2014 |
Depends on ur motive for moving If you're moving just in order to be free to do wateva u like, then I'd advice u stay with ur parents. Its not really abt age. Have u had d required orientation from ur parents? Do u have a knowledge of wat u shud and shud neva do? Can u control and advice ursef? Don't wait until u make mistakes before u learn. Some mistakes are too fatal and may lead to ugly situations. Freedom alone shud not be d motivation behind it. It might come to haunt u if you're nt yet ready and prepared for it. |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Kanwulia: 12:34am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Depends on the individual ladies. Some are sharp and can survive the streets. Others? ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by crackhaus: 12:47am On Oct 29, 2014 |
The only time an unmarried young woman is advised to permanently reside outside of her parent's home is when she's in a different city, state, or country. I see no reason why a lady should live alone as a spinster when both her and her parents live within the same area code. 3 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Nobody: 12:52am On Oct 29, 2014 |
TV01: Sometimes, I feel like engaging you but you too dey attach emotions to your debates. In other words, you argue like a woman. That's why I mostly pass by when you utter statements like the above. If someone tries to discuss with you now, small time, you go turn am into competition of who fit throw subtle jabs best. ![]() ![]() Anyways, there are a million freedom you get when you stay alone that you can only dream of with parents. And this isn't about misbehaving, this is about the fact that you need to factor their presence into everything you do, including time to wake up. Ignore this post if you'll start throwing subtle insults....cos as usual, I'll ignore you once you start. ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Stillfire: 1:20am On Oct 29, 2014 |
alutacontinua: Lol. What do you mean by he argues like a woman? You are not serious. LaurelP: If parents have not rounded up their training by the age of 21 as far as I'm concerned, those parents have failed. 1 Like |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Nobody: 2:08am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by sassygal(f): 7:26am On Oct 29, 2014 |
crackhaus: Really? Pray, tell what your reasons are. |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by BreezyRita(f): 7:46am On Oct 29, 2014 |
LaurelP: Arrgghh! Its true freedom alone shouldn't make you leave home. But no one can be perfect or always right. Even parents make lots of mistakes..... |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by crackhaus: 9:31am On Oct 29, 2014 |
sassygal:My reasons why an unmarried young woman can live outside of her parents' only if she resides in a different city, state, or country? Just one reason - because she resides in a different city, state, or country. As for the second part of my post, I said "I see no reason" . You are to give your valid reasons why any lady should live away from her parents' when she lives in the same city as they do. Please don't mention freedom, it makes the supporter of such an excuse seem rebellious. 3 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Nobody: 10:19am On Oct 29, 2014 |
alutacontinua: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Nobody: 10:24am On Oct 29, 2014 |
alutacontinua: Well Said jare. chop knuckle. Women, enjoy your spinsterhood o. Its a very sweet experience. there is nothng like being your own person and having that confdence that you can make decisions by yourself and for your happiness. You cannnot do that while staying with parents. thats the real life we are talking about. 2 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Nobody: 10:35am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Stillfire: Exactly. It isnt only about freedom per se. But it also involves being responsible for your life and choices. Thats real adulthood. One day, we all must eventually leave our parents and fend for ourselves. we would eventually start making big decisions. All of these are required for every adult and you cannot fully exercise these when under your parents. My first time of leaving home was when i was 11 yrs old to a boarding school and ever since then, I got used to being away from home. The boarding life taught me a lot. But anyways, Each one of us have our unique experiences. Being your own person is sweeeeeeeeeeet. ![]() ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by babestell(f): 11:11am On Oct 29, 2014 |
After service I had to option of staying in PHC with my siblings or going to lagos. I moved to Lagos as per job hunt things and my aunty was shocked when I told her that i wasn't going to stay with her...lol..Fortunately I had saved up enough to get a room in one of those private hostels around Unilag area. Fortunately i got a job doing sim card/phoneline registration for Starcomms while I did my job hunt. It may not be the same context as the topic as my aunt is not my parent but so peeps would feel that since I had an aunt I should have stayed with her as she is my closest parent figure around. But while in the hostel I noticed that there were a lot of different versions of hostels/apartments offering accommodations like that to ladies. Consider it a face me i face you for only ladies, and most of these ladies had their parents living in Lagos as well. Part of the reason could be that most naija parents are "control freaks" (not meant derogatively). They actually do not know when to start treating their kids as adults and giving them adult space and usually they are more controlling of the females (for good reason). Based on my experience, I would say move out when you are financially capable of maintaining your own accomodation (or get a roomate). but if you are moving to another city, you may need to get used to the idea fast 2 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by sassygal(f): 12:05pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
crackhaus: Let me give you several reason, using myself as an example I am an unmarried young woman and live 10-15 minutes away from my parents house. Do I crave my freedom? You sure bet I do! I am a very independent being with a strong personality, my mum equally has a strong personality. The max number of hours we stay together in the same house without upsetting each other is 12 hours. Now, I know some people will make a mountain out of a molehill but when I hear daily of how I threw away u.i medicine admission to study pharmacy in Lag, or is it why I decide not to practice the pharmacy and go into business(despite being successful at what I do) or why I travel up and down for business instead of looking for a man or is it why I fry my oil in a certain way while cooking. In as much as these are not enough reasons to some, but when you keep harping/nagging on a particular subject constantly despite it not affecting the outcome, I will snap. Often times, I'll keep quiet and this makes her upset, either way, it's a no-win situation for me. One important reason, I decided to stay away is cos the nature of my job means that I work long hours, sometimes coming home at 10-12pm which makes her upset and she starts her tirade. Rather than stay in the same house and fight over minor things, which in my opinion are irrelevant, I give her her space and we are best buddies now. Some of the advantages of living on your own, IMO, is that you get to make firm decisions on your own and learn to take care of your self properly and make yourself happy without interference. You also learn to take care of a home before getting married. Does living alone, make me anyway promiscuous? No, it does not. I have become more of an introvert, living alone. 6 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by TV01(m): 1:16pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
alutacontinua:List 3, just 3 and let us see ![]() You say this; alutacontinua: When you opened with this; alutacontinua: alutacontinua:If I've ever engaged you first or asked for you opinion, it won't have been more than once - if at all. There's a wry smile on my face imagining you feeling good about the fact that your ignoring me - which I actually quite appreciate - is somehow hurting ![]() TV **please holler at me here when you do that "world changing" thingy. I'll be your biggest cheerleader** 1 Like |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Nobody: 1:26pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
sassygal: Go girl, do your thing. You rock! 1 Like |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by pryd(m): 1:30pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
blizard44:I concur! |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by kandiikane(m): 2:14pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
Tallesty1:I am confused with this statement. Did you not move out of your parents house to live on your own at some point? 2 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by Nobody: 2:18pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
If she is still living in the same city as her parents she might as well stay with them, it will save her a lot of money she can actually use later on in the future. |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by kandiikane(m): 2:21pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
crackhaus:so if you were residing in the same city as your parents you would live in the same house? Just because or any reason why? 2 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by kandiikane(m): 2:24pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
Mondisweets: This, I agree with. Saving money but I still want to hear crackhaus' reason be cause I don't think he had that in mind. |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by sassygal(f): 2:39pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
kandiikane: I'm certain his reason has to do with the archaic thinking that all single girls who live on their own are promiscuous. That's why I asked him again 4 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by crackhaus: 2:51pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
sassygal:Thank you for this post, every single bit I put in bold is/are valid reason(s) - your peace of mind, the nature of your job, and the persistent rows with your mother. I was expecting you to mention the 'job' excuse, and you went even further to include your tense relationship with your mother... so I'm impressed. These are valid reasons. Now for the bit in italics, I take exception and do not co-sign on it. Those are all things any/every young woman can learn living under her parents', especially when she already attended a tertiary institution and experienced/acquired some decision-making and self-sustainment skills. My point so far leads here: Freedom is a desire every young girl longs for at some point...but unless her home is run like a military boot-camp and noting your valid reasons as the exception, I don't expect any young woman to live outside her parents' on the excuse of wanting freedom. Any freedom other than the limited one she already has living with her parents, is unnecessary. It's a different ball game for young men though ![]() ![]() However, I gotta ask - without the nagging, tirades, and criticisms of your mother, would you have considered moving out? 1 Like |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by kandiikane(m): 2:51pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
sassygal:that's what I thought too but I just want him to confirm it before he starts saying I am putting words in his mouth. 1 Like |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by kandiikane(m): 2:54pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
crackhaus:ha! There we have it. What utter bullshyt! Get out of that cave joor! 5 Likes |
Re: When Should A Lady Move Out Of Her Parent's House?? by crackhaus: 2:57pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
kandiikane: crackhaus: It's a different ball game for young men… |
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