These days, it’s pretty much commonplace to hear that Akin and
Anu have started dating, you get all excited because finally Akin
has dropped the “forever alone” toga to be with a reasonable
woman. A couple of football matches and Friday nights later, you
turn up at your fave lounge with your boys only to hear the latest
that Akin has yet again returned to claim his shirt at “singlesville”
It’s alarming the lifespan of relationships these days. Relationships
be like episodes of Jerry Springer; they start off calm with a
sweet prelude then explode into a scene straight out of WWE. So
like, I’m just here to educate y’all on what exactly makes
relationships end faster than Ned Starks role in Game of Thrones.
You better listen. I shall say this only once.

Una no just fit

Do I honestly look like I care that she liked all your IG pictures in
one fell swoop? So what she looks like steamy hot macaroni with a
swoosh of gravy sauce and chunks of meat, you should not ignore
that part of your brain that tells you, it’s not going to work. Word
is some couples won’t ever be compatible. It’s like eba and indomie
sauce fam, it don’t just work. Be there telling me ‘opposites
attract’ why you no just marry broom?

Cheating
This one is clearer than the outfit Rihanna wore to those awards.
You have a history of jumping into the sack with every Rasheedat,
Chekube and Laide and yet you get into a relationship expecting
some form of fidelity #NoBank. It’s like they’ve plastered your
eye with blindness fa. Look, it’s either you drop that unfaithful
cloak when you get in a relationship. I don’t think it’s really that
hard to keep your schlong short, ladies closing your legs (if that’s
your desired style) is also not so tough. Making a commitment to
someone means “I shall be faithful” and if that’s missing, tell me
in less than 100 words how trust can exist?

Romance stops
Some of you behave like cars, once you get to your destination, you
turn off your engine and just park. Nah fam, relationships ain’t
that way. You gotta keep the flame burning. Those things you did
while you were chasing her, you actually multiply. Don’t say “oh,
she’s mine now, can’t be taking her to coldstone on weekends” You
forget that part of the reasons she said yes was cos’a your
attitude to her. You change that and she starts missing it. She
starts missing the dating scene where she was the cynosure of all
eyes. What was originally fiery becomes a candle in the wind. If
you don’t keep shit fresher than Banky W’s beard trims, you’ll hit
a snag sooner than later.

Wack Sex
Remember how in your single days you bragged about being able to
go hours without tiring? But now here you are, in a relationship
but you cum faster than a debit alert notification. I’m not saying
you must be on that porn level, I mean (an aside: they pause that
shit for the actors to regenerate), but keep the bed space
interesting. Better stop believing twitter and facebook, sex isn’t
always steamy, in fact it’s disgusting sometimes. However, if
you’re not giving her good, you better talk about it before she
talks to someone else…who gives her a listening ear, shoulder to cry
on and a penis to sit on.
Irreconcilable differences
Honestly, I don’t know what this one means. I think this is the
reason you give when you really don’t have a reason to give. Maybe
like you caught your boyfriend kissing your remote control
passionately one hot afternoon, you know how you can’t tell people
that kinda story so it automatically becomes “irreconcilable” Let’s
just say that when an issue becomes too somehow to share and
leades to a break up, its ok to categorize it under the above.
See what I did there? “Under the above”
There are lots of other reasons why relationships end. From the
downright ridiculous like “he peed standing up, her friend was
wayyyy cuter” to the what the Bleep “I discovered I prefer slim to
fat women”

Others include:
He wasn’t ambitious; he didn’t look like he had potential. Of course
because you were blind when you entered ba?
My family didn’t like him, the dog barked every time he
visited.Yessir you’re a winzard
Let’s not forget the one very common but hardly spoken “he was
wasting time and didn’t propose”
So that’s it guys, don’t be shy here, let’s share. What were the
reasons for your break-ups?

culled from TNC.com

Lol mine is wen she is boring, too demanding.... I end it sharply

The flame fizzles out for one/both of us...mostly!

Distance...

Prophecy (definitely not from my end!)

Ex calling back...(she said they had been through a lot together and I was the angel she didn't know).

What is this one even saying?

Agybabe:
What is this one even saying?

which one?
my cannan city sista, it's one thing to read and it's another to comprehend.

NaijaKnight:

which one?
my cannan city sista, it's one thing to read and it's another to comprehend.

na essay? Blunders and too long an epistle.

Hehehe...just kidding

Agybabe:

na essay? Blunders and too long an epistle.

Hehehe...just kidding

if I didn't know better I'd say you saw blunders but then again, If you ain't used to reading don't 'kid'.

Infomizer:
The flame fizzles out for one/both of us...mostly!

Distance...

Prophecy (definitely not from my end!)

Ex calling back...(she said they had been through a lot together and I was the angel she didn't know).

I hav always thot myself a wizard in reading and comprehension but, to be honest, after doing this one d hundredth time, infomizer dear i must tell u, I end up even more confused. I hardly can tel weda itz a poem or a prose or both nor know d meaning of d phrases as should be d case.

nairalife2013:
I hav always thot myself a wizard in reading and comprehension but, to be honest, after doing this one d hundredth time, infomizer dear i must tell u, I end up even more confused. I hardly can tel weda itz a poem or a prose or both nor know d meaning of d phrases as should be d case.

Lol
The op asked us to share the various reasons we've had to experience break ups...That was what necessitated my yarns...There are four reasons in all...geddit now?

Infomizer:


Lol
The op asked us to share the various reasons we've had to experience break ups...That was what necessitated my yarns...There are four reasons in all...geddit now?

k. Got it. Thx

This one too was copied from thenakedconvos.com. This is somebody's intellectual property that you have claimed as yours . If you don't write the source of the article, it's plagiarism.

OgbeniVan:
This one too was copied from thenakedconvos.com. This is somebody's intellectual property that you have claimed as yours . If you don't write the source of the article, it's plagiarism.

take a chill pill pal. noted! + it's not that serious