freecocoa:
Meanwhile, can we stop making it look like it is solely the OP's fault that they had unprotected $ex?

Women do this a lot and it pisses me off, you have the right to request for a condom, if he disagrees, put on your pants or live with the consequences of your approval, it takes two people to have $ex you know? Haba!.

The op is the one complaining the woman is happy she is pregnant. She has what she has been looking for so its left for the op to make the best of the situation.

andromida:


The op is the one complaining the woman is happy she is pregnant. She has what she has been looking for so its left for the op to make the best of the situation.

If we are to look at it the way a woman would, were she the one who got tricked into getting pregnant, everyone would be calling the man names for lying to her, now she tricked the OP and people are here calling him names and blaming him for what happened, the woman isn't without blame, I just want people to see that.

freecocoa:
If we are to look at it the way a woman would, were she the one who got tricked into getting pregnant, everyone would be calling the man names for lying to her, now she tricked the OP and people are here calling him names and blaming him for what happened, the woman isn't without blame, I just want people to see that.

First time I see a female laying some blame albeit a portion on another female

freecocoa:
If we are to look at it the way a woman would, were she the one who got tricked into getting pregnant, everyone would be calling the man names for lying to her, now she tricked the OP and people are here calling him names and blaming him for what happened, the woman isn't without blame, I just want people to see that.

I didn't see any trick here and there is no one to blame they are both adults, the unplanned happened so they should deal with it its life. Op's case is when you sleeping with a woman without protection she can get pregnant more so living with her when you have no futuristic plans for her that's a huge step if you can go that far you should be ready for anything that comes with playing house. She has a history of failed marriage because she could not get pregnant then she gets pregnant and op expects her to terminate it? He just does not get to turn round and blame her or play victim.

andromida:


I didn't see any trick here and there is no one to blame they are both adults, the unplanned happened so they should deal with it its life. Op's case is when you sleeping with a woman without protection she can get pregnant more so living with her when you have no futuristic plans for her that's a huge step if you can go that far you should be ready for anything that comes with playing house. She has a history of failed marriage because she could not get pregnant then she gets pregnant and op expects her to terminate it? He just does not get to turn round and blame her or play victim.

You prolly didn't read the part where she said she was barren so there won't be any problems without protection,btw, there's no law that say you must marry a woman because you live with her, the said woman is an adult, why did she allow him move in when he isn't her husband?, two grown adults can decide to do whatever they want with their lives so long as they are in agreement, anyways the OP's moved on, I just think it's not fair dumping it all on him, men can be victims too, simples.

andromida:

I didn't see any trick here and there is no one to blame they are both adults, the unplanned happened so they should deal with it its life. Op's case is when you sleeping with a woman without protection she can get pregnant more so living with her when you have no futuristic plans for her that's a huge step if you can go that far you should be ready for anything that comes with playing house. She has a history of failed marriage because she could not get pregnant then she gets pregnant and op expects her to terminate it? He just does not get to turn round and blame her or play victim.

In my view the woman was trying to be smart by half. She wanted to test her fertility but didnt inform her partner that this was actually what she wanted. He is wrong for not taking precautions but a child is too serious a responsibility to be brought into the world with an unwilling partner. I believe having a child is the worlds greatest responsibility, and both should be on same page before we ever decide on concieving.

Poster has agreed to take responsibility as he should and should be more responsible in future but if anyone wants a child its unfair to drag an unwilling party to co parent when they are not ready. If it was two teeangers I would give them equal faults but this is a grown woman with a clear plan who knew what she wanted and unfortunately found someone who wasnt smart enough to wrap it.

Poster, a child is a huge responsibility but other things can come from unprotected se-x, please no one should tell you to keep it wrapped e dey sweet e dey kill

aisha2:


In my view the woman was trying to be smart by half. She wanted to test her fertility but didnt inform her partner that this was actually what she wanted. He is wrong for not taking precautions but a child is too serious a responsibility to be brought into the world with an unwilling partner. I believe having a child is the worlds greatest responsibility, and both should be on same page before we ever decide on concieving.

Poster has agreed to take responsibility as he should and should be more responsible in future but if anyone wants a child its unfair to drag an unwilling party to co parent when they are not ready. If it was two teeangers I would give them equal faults but this is a grown woman with a clear plan who knew what she wanted and unfortunately found someone who wasnt smart enough to wrap it.

Poster, a child is a huge responsibility but other things can come from unprotected se-x, please no one should tell you to keep it wrapped e dey sweet e dey kill

Op was playing smart as well enjoying skin to skin thinking she is barren and will never get pregnant, he even said he expected her to take care of whatever since she is older and more experienced but he got stuck. They were using each other the dice rolled in her favor. Desperate people do desperate things expecting someone that vulnerable to be thinking straight is asking for a lot remember she just got out of a bad marriage. I can just imagine what they were telling themselves when they were romancing each other. Lol.

I can't blame any of them they are adults and chose this lesson so they will deal with it.

pickabeau1:


First time I see a female laying some blame albeit a portion on another female

Lol, I try to be impartial, I blamed the OP only for having unprotected $ex when he wasn't sure she was really barren, his only fault was not being smart. let's be real here, people always claim perfection on the internet, unprotected $ex is not a wise choice but people make it anyways, still it doesn't mean that if a woman gets pregnant from it, then it's entirely the man's fault, especially if the woman asked for it, let's call a spade a spade abeg.

freecocoa:
Lol, I try to be impartial, I blamed the OP only for having unprotected $ex when he wasn't sure she was really barren, his only fault was not being smart. let's be real here, people always claim perfection on the internet, unprotected $ex is not a wise choice but people make it anyways, still it doesn't mean that if a woman gets pregnant from it, then it's entirely the man's fault, especially if the woman asked for it, let's call a spade a spade abeg.

Cool..

andromida:


Op was playing smart as well enjoying skin to skin thinking she is barren and will never get pregnant, he even said he expected her to take care of whatever since she is older and more experienced but he got stuck. They were using each other the dice rolled in her favor. Desperate people do desperate things expecting someone that vulnerable to be thinking straight is asking for a lot remember she just got out of a bad marriage. I can just imagine what they were telling themselves when they were romancing each other. Lol.

I can't blame any of them they are adults and chose this lesson so they will deal with it.

Well poster has learned his lesson, i hope she has. A child is coming into the world thats what is the most important issue here now.
When in doubt of your fertility go to a hospital and do a thorough check, or if you want to have a baby find a man willing to also, get necessary tests done, genotype hiv etc. What if they are both AS and God forbid end up with a child with SS? To prove a silly point she brings a child in to suffer.

aisha2:


Well poster has learned his lesson, i hope she has. A child is coming into the world thats what is the most important issue here now.
When in doubt of your fertility go to a hospital and do a thorough check, or if you want to have a baby find a man willing to also, get necessary tests done, genotype hiv etc. What if they are both AS and God forbid end up with a child with SS? To prove a silly point she brings a child in to suffer.

The child may not suffer i believe she is grateful for this child and will do her best.

What about all the medical issues I raised? When you decide you want to have a child it should be for a better reason than proving your fertility. Isnt it sensible to do it with a pattner who is aware of your aim and will work with you to achieve it? First point should even be a genotype test, hiv mother to child transmission can even be managed genotype is another thing.
Am saying this because someone I know did the same thing and in the last 3 years its been no joke, off course the aim was to get him to marry her, he didnt, he pays support but how much support can take care of the heartache of constantly seeing your child suffer? Guy has married has a healthy child while she virtually has her life on hold taking care of her baby.

We need to tell our sisters to.think through their actions.am writing this because some girl reading might think this is the way to go.

aisha2:
What about all the medical issues I raised? When you decide you want to have a child it should be for a better reason than proving your fertility. Isnt it sensible to do it with a pattner who is aware of your aim and will work with you to achieve it? First point should even be a genotype test, hiv mother to child transmission can even be managed genotype is another thing.
Am saying this because someone I know did the same thing and in the last 3 years its been no joke, off course the aim was to get him to marry her, he didnt, he pays support but how much support can take care of the heartache of constantly seeing your child suffer? Guy has married has a healthy child while she virtually has her life on hold taking care of her baby.

We need to tell our sisters to.think through their actions.am writing this because some girl reading might think this is the way to go.

This is not an ideal situation where peeps discuss what they want from the relationship whatever they had was based on something else or a lot of things going on in their lives.
They've been chatting even while she was married it i find it hard to believe that one way or the other they had not discussed this health issues. I am not saying the woman did right even by her own self no one should jump from frying pan to fire which is what she has done but op is not the victim of an evil woman's ways you don't ask someone to clean up any mess that may result from your association with each other. Actions have consequences.

No regular young girl will go this way only a desperate woman will do what this woman has done.

andromida:


This is not an ideal situation where peeps discuss what they want from the relationship whatever they had was based on something else or a lot of things going on in their lives.
They've been chatting even while she was married it i find it hard to believe that one way or the other they had not discussed this health issues. I am not saying the woman did right even by her own self no one should jump from frying pan to fire which is what she has done but op is not the victim of an evil woman's ways you don't ask someone to clean up any mess that may result from your association with each other. Actions have consequences.

No regular young girl will go this way only a desperate woman will do what this woman has done.

And he fell nicely for it. This is what happens when you want to eat your cake and have it.

In all this I pity the poor unborn child who is. going to suffer the consequences of the actions of her/his irresponsible parents all his/her life.
Both the OP and. his baby mama come across as selfish individuals in my opinion.
The OP,stumbled upon a woman who claimed. to be barren,so he had a field day hitting the skins without a care in the world about using protection. He wanted to havee his cake and eat. it. He is now discovering that the lady is olderthan hom now she is pregnant. He is now not ready to man up and accept his responsibilities and is. now requesting for DNA tests.

The baby mama on her part probably hooked up with the OP for the single reason of getting back at her ex hubby and to prove to him and the world that she could conceive and produce a child. I bet she is gonna cary her pregnancy like a flag and wave it in the face of her ex and his family.
The consequences of our every day selfish actions will alwys come back to haunt us.

Thank You Everyone.

God Bless you all for the advice and keep your homes & future family in peace.




MOD: Could You Please Permanently Delete This Thread?

The amount of people not using condoms these days worries me. Wit all d monies spent on Ads saying Aids no de show for face. Wen u slept with her without protectIon did ur educated mind not tell u d Possible outcome.

It's not only women that commit mutiple abortions that can end up barren believe me it goes both ways men who encourage such will get such fate too.

Enjoy.

Sapiosexual22:
Thank You Everyone.

God Bless you all for the advice and keep your homes & future family in peace.




MOD: Could You Please Permanently Delete This Thread?

ehmmm, what happened? Did you find her?