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Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by xynerise: 10:13pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
A lot of people are currently in a domestic abusive relationship and each time they share their stories, they get different advices. Some encourage endurance and prayers, while some advise them to take a hike. Not trying to discourage people from believing in their faith, but do you think an abuser can ever change? That is, if you survive before he/she does |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Nobody: 10:16pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
Well judging from past stories frm people, i really dnt think dey change.... A scorpion will always b a scorpion 1 Like |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by chineloSA(f): 10:19pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
Past behavior normally predicts future behavior. They may reduce frequency but not completely stop. 1 Like |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Nobody: 10:22pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
Never. 1 Like |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by xynerise: 10:23pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
Cutehector4u:So your advice is that the victim should take a hike? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Nobody: 10:24pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
xynerise:yeah... If that is the only option.. 1 Like |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by SirHouloo(m): 11:24pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
xynerise: Why should she? She will get used to it now. |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by dre11(m): 11:39pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
This solely depends on the abuser If he/she is ready to change Then their will always be a way.. .... But it's a gradual process and doesn't just go once 2 Likes |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Nobody: 11:46pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
you cannot change a physically abusive partner, but I believe anyone can change on their own terms. |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Georgematics(m): 11:48pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
yes sir! they can change |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Kimoni: 11:52pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
Anybody can change but pray & wait for him to change from a place of safety. Safety first! 2 Likes |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Dannylux: 12:40am On Nov 10, 2014 |
Yes, I heard they change in jail. 4 Likes |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Iaz93: 3:23am On Nov 10, 2014 |
Circumstances most times, make some persons violent, which will lead to physical abuse. When things change, I think those persons change, too. |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by englishmart(m): 6:39am On Nov 10, 2014 |
Mmm mmm mmm !clears throat. Now let me tell you a story. There was this friend of mine who got married 2years ago. Her husband beats the fvck outta her at every slight altercation. She kept telling me. I was really sorry for her. I advised her to report the incident to her parents. But she blatantly refused. (I couldn't go farther than that) One fateful day her brother who was a bouncer in one night club in the Texas arrived.. If you See this guy eh! He is nearly 7ft tall. He has up to 18 packs. One day he decided to visit his sister, then he meet the bastard beating her up . I need not tell you what happened thereafter... But that the last time the mad man every bullied his wife. 2 Likes |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by gidjah(m): 6:45am On Nov 10, 2014 |
I have bin physically abusive before ,{just my confession and do not expect any demon to come judge me,}but i realised i needed to grow and change.i lost my most treasured lady friend to this,{though i only tot so,because of my past tie wit her.she did not tel me y she is walking way then}till date i stil think of her,(but that era has gone).i knew i had to grow up and be more calm,but today ,man is a changed one,i am now a minister of God who teaches people how to show love and respect in relationship so i must be a practitioner of all i say.my profession would even never allow me hit a lady !if caught,!you can be demoted or spend gooddays in d jail!.bottom line;A WILLING MAN CAN CHANGE ONCE HE KNOWS HIS WEAKNESS AND CAN ADMIT IT 1 Like |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by onegig(m): 7:47am On Nov 10, 2014 |
It depends on the individual. If it's a one time thing that just happened and the person has come to terms with such a behaviour as being bad and unacceptable and the person involved is willing to work on such act, then to me they have achieved half the change that is desired and just need to work on things and persevere. 2 Likes |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by bukatyne(f): 8:13am On Nov 10, 2014 |
englishmart: This method usually works wonders. I have never heard of any man given this treatment who doesn't immediately get cured So the affected person should try this first. If it does not work, please take a temporary hike. 1 Like |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by AlienSPY: 8:21am On Nov 10, 2014 |
Give an abuser a bible and a little education on emotional intelligence and you change the person. An abused person should see the abuser as a weak person that needs help but not to fuel the ember of violence. Finally temporary separation is the antidote for emotional dysfunction. |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Pavore9: 8:30am On Nov 10, 2014 |
many don't change on their own until something hits them just like the father of a popular nollywood actress who grew up with me on the same street, always hitting on her mother, it was after stroke hit her abusive father that he became a puppy! |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by dridowu: 8:30am On Nov 10, 2014 |
Yes they can change cos the most constant thing in life is change. Most of those abusive people change at the late hour |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by AlienSPY: 8:30am On Nov 10, 2014 |
bukatyne: Don't you think its a sick idea for a woman to invite her siblings to beat up the husband? That action will naturally set the precedent for divorce and an unhappy relation. Remember marriage in Africa involve both families and the hatred that will ensue afterwards amongst them will be unprecedented. The best bet a wife sibling can do is to shout, warn, threaten or possibly take away her sister with him but resorting to fight me is fooolishness. |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by SAMBARRY: 10:54am On Nov 10, 2014 |
SirHouloo:another one Don cam 1 Like |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by xynerise: 11:07am On Nov 10, 2014 |
SirHouloo:. Get used to beating? |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Lordabas: 11:47am On Nov 10, 2014 |
No. Physical abuse is a tactic for control. A physically or verbally abusive person will always fall back on those methods to feel superior. This is a dangerous man, and one to be avoided. |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by bukatyne(f): 12:18pm On Nov 10, 2014 |
AlienSPY: It is foolishness to you but not to those it has helped. Strangely, I am yet to hear of 'hatred' that developed as a result. I wonder what your definition of unhappy marriage is if a physically abusive marriage is not yet unhappy. 2 Likes |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Nobody: 12:19pm On Nov 10, 2014 |
bukatyne:It works for the limited of mind, which most abusers are. But it has also been known to backfire. A woman did this at my former neighbourhood and the guy set up the BIL, he assumed he'd come again and he did. Of course, Mr. Husband had his own plans and BIL got more than he bargained for. Of course, it became police issue and all of husband, wife and BIL were blamed and were eventually told to go and settle "family matter". Like someone said earlier, be safe and let the change occur from afar. Better safe than sorry. |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Nobody: 12:24pm On Nov 10, 2014 |
Lordabas:Physical abuse is a tactic for control but that's not the only thing it is. It is often used for defence against emotional/verbal abuse, fear. However, it is a poor tool for these purposes, which is why I said it's for the limited of mind. |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by bukatyne(f): 12:52pm On Nov 10, 2014 |
freshdude2: They are exceptions I don't dig the pray and wear sex.y underwear advice sha 1 Like |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by Nobody: 1:21pm On Nov 10, 2014 |
bukatyne:1. You sure bout that ma'am? I for one tend to avoid violence majorly because of reprisals. I'm apprehensive of grudge-holding people. 2. Well, that's not necessarily wrong. The thing is treat the disease not the symptoms. Here's what I mean: Case One: Couple have an argument, it gets heated and before you know it, wife slaps hubby, hubby slaps wife. Note this is the first occurence of violence in the marriage. However, from that point on, during any heated argument hubby becomes first aggressor. He's tasted blood nd decides he likes it. What is to be done? Case Two: Couple have arguments which always end in wifey tongue-lashing hubby. Hubby has endured this for years and in year four of marriage he has reached his endurance limit and as argument ensues wife goes about normal routine except hubby doesn't let her climax he ends it with a punch to her lips to stop "hurting" words coming from them. Again, what is to be done? Case Three: Hubby is a psychopath, the only words he wants to hear from his wife are "yes and amen". Hubby makes a statement, wifey has a difference of opinion not rude, not discourteous. Hubby slaps/punches/head-butts/etc wifey. What is to be done? Case Four: Hubby is a psychopath, the only words he wants to hear from his wife are "yes and amen". Hubby makes a statement, wifey has a difference of opinion rude/contentious/confrontational/etc. What is to be done? I await. 2 Likes |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by 5minsmadness: 5:49pm On Nov 10, 2014 |
^^^^^@freshdude dem neva still answer u? Na to dey type anybody that does that is a beast, anybody that does that is an animal dem sabi. 2 Likes |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by bukatyne(f): 6:20pm On Nov 10, 2014 |
freshdude2: Just seeing this; will respond when I get home |
Re: Can A Physically Abusive Person Change? by bukatyne(f): 6:22pm On Nov 10, 2014 |
5minsmadness: Who are the 'them '? If you are curious for the answer, call the 'them' from their homes to answer 1 Like |
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