We have had many discussions on leadership in families and I am not yet tired of them. If you are not yet tired either, you are invited to contribute to this thread. Everybody is.


I don't want to discuss who the head of the family should be. Let each family decide for themselves.

I just want to know what it means to be the head of a family in your view.




- How would you explain to someone who comes from another planet what the head of the family is?

- Which responsibilities / duties and privileges does it entail in your opinion?

- What makes the person different from other family members?

- In which situations specifically would the head have to make the final decision?




Thanks for your contributions and please be friendly. Peace.

I feel it's the person that sacrifices the most but complains the least. the person that is selfless and does anything to make sure the rest of the family is ok. Of cos the financial supporter seeing that it is a crucial part of life. That person who is ready to starve for others to eat. It means a lot to be the head of the family. I can't finish talking about it right here.

visit my blog by clicking on my signature. It isn't about gossip and the rest. I have touched a couple of lives and helped people through that means. just look at it and you will get the gist. i promise you won't regret clicking the link. Thanks and tell friends if you find it helpful.

I shouldn't be doing this, but experience says it's better to book space

Every family has the right to run their household how they deem fit.
For instance, My hubby and I have the same educational discipline, experience in same sector and basically know same thing. Plus or minus.

How ever, we run our home the best we can. Sometimes, If he was trying to fix an equipment and its taking a long time or he mistakenly skipped a step and during the trouble shoot, i found out the problem, i will be like ' whos the boss', 'whos your mama'

Same goes to him.

In terms of child care, i'm more experienced than him, thanks to large family i came from. So he most times abide to the rule because he knows and trust his wife in that department.

In terms of electrical installations, mechanical and manual engineering works, he is stronger in that area, so i listen and follow him. Also chip in my own experience.

We never for once start shouting, you are the neck, nor your are the head. We practically know where we fill in.

Its all about joint effort for better good of our home

To me thats what marriage is all about. Collective effort to better your home.
There is a saying that two GOOD heads are better than one. Emphasis on good heads. (two coconut heads are not even close to one good head

However as a wife, if i had nothing to bring to the table, i can as well relax and follow all the instructions he had to give.

Very simple.

As per the bible said, forget it, I have decided to follow his path and keep my Christianity aside for logical reasoning.

My story.

hello carefree

Chillisauce:
Every family has the right to run their household how they deem fit.
For instance, My hubby and I have the same educational discipline, experience in same sector and basically know same thing. Plus or minus.

How ever, we run our home the best we can. Sometimes, If he was trying to fix an equipment and its taking a long time or he mistakenly skipped a step and during the trouble shoot, i found out the problem, i will be like ' whos the boss', 'whos your mama'

Same goes to him.

In terms of child care, i'm more experienced than him, thanks to large family i came from. So he most times abide to the rule because he knows and trust his wife in that department.

In terms of electrical installations, mechanical and manual engineering works, he is stronger in that area, so i listen and follow him. Also chip in my own experience.

We never for once start shouting, you are the neck, nor your are the head. We practically know where we fill in.

Its all about joint effort for better good of our home

To me thats what marriage is all about. Collective effort to better your home.
There is a saying that two GOOD heads are better than one. Emphasis on good heads. (two coconut heads are not even close to one good head

However as a wife, if i had nothing to bring to the table, i can as well relax and follow all the instructions he had to give.

Very simple.

As per the bible said, forget it, I have decided to follow his path and keep my Christianity aside for logical reasoning.

My story.

I love this post.

You seem to be a lucky woman.

Chillisauce:
hello carefree

Hello Chilli!

carefreewannabe:


I love this post.

You seem to be a lucky woman.

My dear, Just taking life easy.


Thanks dear.

Chillisauce:


My dear, Just taking life easy.


Thanks dear.

And with lots of humor. Pass these traits on to your children.
This could be one of your greatest gifts to them.

carefreewannabe:


I love this post.

You seem to be a lucky woman.

LUCKY...hmmm. but same can't be said of her hubbyy....hehehehe
na joke ooo...before y'all descent on little me

I completely agree with chillisauce.

carefreewannabe:


And with lots of humor. Pass these traits on to your children.
This could be one of your greatest gifts to them.

My dear, that's how life should be.
Folks here r too serious. Always too serious.

carefreewannabe:


And with lots of humor. Pass these traits on to your children.
This could be one of your greatest gifts to them.

My dear, they are comedians already.

Dont mind my humor, my male Nigerian colleagues dey dodge me. I give them sh1t, but overall, they like working with me.

moca:
I completely agree with chillisauce.

Thanks dear, everyone has someone for them.
The ones that wants zombie wives can go for it.
The ones that wants donkey, find your level
while the ones that wants owl, know what they are getting.

If you find that one who treats people with respect regardless of status, gender, race etc. Dont hold back, go for it.

Make i give way abeg!
More inputs welcomed, chillisauce is out. Thread continues.

I believe the head of our household is my husband because I am a Christian and that belief is an offshoot of my faith.

That said its not something that we constantly have to talk about or dwell on or that he has to keep shouting 'I am the head'.It also does not mean he gets to take all decisions unilaterally.We just get on with family life and work as a team to get stuff done.

We both have our strengths and weaknesses and we complement each other to work for the good of the family and home we are building.You will often hear him say 'I need to ask my wife as she is better than me when it comes to that' I think he even says it more than I do sef.He trusts my judgement (intially I used to say I told you so ALOT but I think I have matured abit now) and even though sometimes he does not agree with my POV alot of times I find out we tend to do things by compromising.I will give an example I am the one who is more hung up on the kids doing certain activities and I tend to drive my daughter alot.He used to leave me to it as he feels I have a better grasp of the educational system but he had to step in tell me off about me constantly being on the poor girl's case.He was the one who cancelled out my 1hr compulsory school work everyday after school (after swimming, kumon, ballet and soon drama school) we are even still arguing on whether to cut back on extra curricular she is not enjoying e.g Kumon (trust her to not enjoy the educational one ).He did not decree No more kumon as the head we just talk about it and both marshall our points and even I realised I had to chill as I guess the kind of family I come from makes me kinda hung up on educational achievements.

space booked till further notice. Warning : Military Zone keep off. Further warning: Do not urinate here. Additional warning: This space is not for sale beware of 419'ers

^^guy u dey vex o!
All these warnings just for space?
Okpari o

@Chillisauce and Damiso

Nothing to add,you ladies have said it all...

bennyrazz:
space booked till further notice. Warning : Military Zone keep off. Further warning: Do not urinate here. Additional warning: This space is not for sale beware of 419'ers

oga, dis piece of land must be really special ooooo. I hope you have C of O before Omo onile come and bamboozle you

Only here for the comments

carefreewannabe:


I don't want to discuss who the head of the family should be. Let each family decide for themselves.

i agree with this. People have been living their lives according to what society considers to be morally correct, instead of living their lives according to what suits them best.

Rhukie:
oga, dis piece of land must be really special ooooo. I hope you have C of O before Omo onile come and bamboozle you

Deed of assignment, R of O, C of O very intact I recently purchased that gun they call pump action & a very sharp cutlass cuz of omoniles. Any encroachment by them will result to their heads falling off from their necks moca, na so we see am o. For naija, if you no sabi wear pant, na pant go dey wear you o

bennyrazz:
Deed of assignment, R of O, C of O very intact I recently purchased that gun they call pump action & a very sharp cutlass cuz of omoniles. Any encroachment by them will result to their heads falling off from their necks moca, na so we see am o. For naija, if you no sabi wear pant, na pant go dey wear you o

Chei! Guy u made my day
What a sweet tonic
Abeg, we want more of this ur wonderful side. D best!

Carefree, ur thread has gone to d wind

Eehe, why did u change back to carefreewanabee?
D other one brings the humurous side of u more than this one. This one na so so argument and lecture everytime
Abeg,I want carefreesmile back.

moca:

Chei! Guy u made my day
What a sweet tonic
Abeg, we want more of this ur wonderful side. D best!
.

this side of me have retired, it is now collecting pension

Mondisweets:
i agree with this. People have been living their lives according to what society considers to be morally correct, instead of living their lives according to what suits them best.

True.

damiso:
I believe the head of our household is my husband because I am a Christian and that belief is an offshoot of my faith.

That said its not something that we constantly have to talk about or dwell on or that he has to keep shouting 'I am the head'.It also does not mean he gets to take all decisions unilaterally.We just get on with family life and work as a team to get stuff done.

We both have our strengths and weaknesses and we complement each other to work for the good of the family and home we are building.You will often hear him say 'I need to ask my wife as she is better than me when it comes to that' I think he even says it more than I do sef.He trusts my judgement (intially I used to say I told you so ALOT but I think I have matured abit now) and even though sometimes he does not agree with my POV alot of times I find out we tend to do things by compromising.I will give an example I am the one who is more hung up on the kids doing certain activities and I tend to drive my daughter alot.He used to leave me to it as he feels I have a better grasp of the educational system but he had to step in tell me off about me constantly being on the poor girl's case.He was the one who cancelled out my 1hr compulsory school work everyday after school (after swimming, kumon, ballet and soon drama school) we are even still arguing on whether to cut back on extra curricular she is not enjoying e.g Kumon (trust her to not enjoy the educational one ).He did not decree No more kumon as the head we just talk about it and both marshall our points and even I realised I had to chill as I guess the kind of family I come from makes me kinda hung up on educational achievements.

It would be interesting if you answered my questions.

carefreewannabe:


True.

learning from u ma'am

moca:

Chei! Guy u made my day
What a sweet tonic
Abeg, we want more of this ur wonderful side. D best!

Carefree, ur thread has gone to d wind

Eehe, why did u change back to carefreewanabee?
D other one brings the humurous side of u more than this one. This one na so so argument and lecture everytime
Abeg,I want carefreesmile back.

Carefreesmile was the good twin, I am the bad one and I am telling you, she ain't coming back.

Mondisweets:
learning from u ma'am

From each other.

carefreewannabe:

It would be interesting if you answered my questions.

1 .the head of the family is the one who charts the course and vision for the family.i see it more as s duty and responsiblity rather than an automatic lordship title. I choose it see again from the Christian view as a sacrificial giving role and not necessary a 'lord of the manor' thing.Christ was a servant leader and that what is the head of the home should be.again I acknowledge not everyone is going to tow that school of thought so each to his own

2. I don't get the context of different in this question. Function? Again its fluid and varies from person to person or family to family.

3.Situations again depends on parties involved and the issues being discussed. If we have differing opinions on an issue sometimes I just go with his view and sometimes he says let's do it your way.e.g I used to go for midweek services with the kids on weeknights and he never liked the idea.He has now decided that I should stop taking the kids with me as he does not like the idea of my daughter going to bed late on a schoolnight.I was initially miffed but thinking about it i realised that this was not to spite my Bible study cell group but really a practical decision based on our daughters wellbeing.On days he gets home early I leave him to sort bedtime and go for my bible study . Unfortunately on days he gets back late it means I don't go. My pastor is always on my case that I don't come for bible study every week but I don't mind anymore as I am ready to stand by His decision on not compromising his child's sleep.

But mine and chilli's esponses were similar naa i.e drawn from personal experiences how come you asked me to answer another set of question naa

1 .the head of the family is the one who charts the course and vision for the family.i see it more as s duty and responsiblity rather than an automatic lordship title. I choose it see again from the Christian view as a sacrificial giving role and not necessary a 'lord of the manor' thing.Christ was a servant leader and that what is the head of the home should be.again I acknowledge not everyone is going to tow that school of thought so each to his own

But Damiso do African men practice the attributes of Jesus Christ? That is the koko.
Was Jesus a walking bag of ego? Or a symbol of humility and grace?
Let's be honest, is the African man a symbol of humility and grace?
Was Jesus going about seeking for whom to kiss his black yansh and ego?
Omotola Jalade Ekeinde's husband cannot say sorry to her, is that Christ-like? She cited ego as the problem, lol.
At this rate, African men will not make heaven, lol.