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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Sriously Need Someone To Talk To (3939 Views)
Ladies Talk To Me / I've Been Combing My Conscience,was I Wrong? I Need Someone To Help Analyse This / Hubby Won't Talk To Me. (2) (3) (4)
Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 2:36pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
I realy don't know how to say this but I sure do need help.I have been married for 2years now amd its like I got married to the devil her self. Right now I sent her to her parents house to help us rethink this whole marriage thing. Below is a list of things she does that makes me regret marrying her. She gets angry at every liltle thing, and when she does she gives me cold shoulders for days. She is very deep she dosent make friends and she wouldn't want you to neither. She does not cook in the house cause she her self doesn't eat much. She hates been around people including my family members which has caused a lot of problems. Am not saying am perfect but she makes me regret ever seeing her. I knew she had all this in her but she kept on promising she would change. Now the situation is I just can't see my self living with her cause her sturbborness makes me go voilent on her. But I don't know how I would do without her. Please Nlanders pls what should I do. |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Echuka1(m): 2:39pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Hmmm!, |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by SeunEatsGARRI: 2:42pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
pogolowa1: Here is what you'll do... Go to the market, Buy 2 cups of GARRI Buy one peak milk Buy sugar Buy ground nut Prepare her a Seun Osewa special delicacy of GARRI, Thanks me later ![]() |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by coogar: 2:44pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
pogolowa1: you have made your bed, kindly lie in it. i have no iota of pity for anyone who see flaws in their partners before walking the aisle, press ahead to marry the partner, only to then start complaining after 24 months. you have signed for better for worse with this woman & that includes worse behaviour(anger, cold shoulders, disrespecting your family members, kitchen-lazy, unfriendly attitude, etc). you cannot complain, bro. keep fasting & praying! 9 Likes |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 2:54pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Bros, I am not judging you but I am only helping you to think through this. Coogar has made a very valid point - you knew she was like that yet you married her. You have said for better, for worse; so now you should think of making things better and not worse. First of all, your wife is not a house help you can place on suspension or even hire or fire. It is very unwise to send her to her parent's house. Your house is her house; she belongs in your house and not her parents house, so you should never send her packing. You are the man of the house so you should show leadership and not act like a dictator. Secondly, if she did not hit you, then you should not hit her. It is wrong for you to beat you wife no matter her stubbornness. She is a human being that deserves to be heard and treated like the queen you want for a wife. Your wife may be an introvert - nothing wrong with that. She may be very shy or have some self esteem issues. I also think she doesn't communicate properly. Your job as the head of the family is to help her be a better person. Don't just leave her to suffer - help her. Build her self confidence. My advice - send for her immediately and work things out with her. Both of you should apologise to each other as you have both done wrong. Give her time to change and you change too. Nobody is perfect and nobody should be chased out of their house. Hope this helps. 17 Likes |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 3:04pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Coogar, r u telling him to fast and pray when he has already started pane beating her and has sent her to her parents? Dude don't wanna feel guilty so want pity party. And oops another perfect lady is around d corner scheming and fueling ![]() Na today! Abeg I want chop abacha and ugba. Who go helep me? ![]() Edwife come and post good abacha and ugba for me o. As d thing dey disturb me for belle, make I dey chop with eyes only ![]() ![]() Edwife o! (This lady will kill me today) Sorry o @op, my head is dumb now. Only abacha e dey see. ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by zeb04(f): 3:08pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Divorce is an option |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Odunharry(m): 3:14pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Nashville:1000 likes 5 Likes |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 3:14pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Your wife should be the one reading your list, not the audience. I mean let her read the ‘list’ of what she does that you don't approve of. Things she does and you hate like the one up here. And vice-versa, she should give you her's. And for this to work, you've to sacrifice something. You both need to be patient with each other. And one more thing, please don't ever beat your wife again. ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Odunharry(m): 3:15pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
zeb04:not an option 2 me... |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by okabe(m): 3:16pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
zeb04:Hmm-hmm-hmmm Wat r u tryin to do? |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by kuderrich: 3:23pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
zeb04:shoooo, I dey fear you oh. He saw her like dat b4 he got married to her. He shud bear d consequence, and he mst uphold d oath he swore on d wedding day. |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by edwife(f): 3:43pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
moca: You gone cray cray... ![]() ![]() ![]() Feed your eyes... ![]() ![]() I had to remove it.go to fun room... |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 3:43pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
kuderrich: Thank you for ur coment. I see my self as the emotionly weak one here. I have always tried talking to her but she keep telling she would change right now I feel if she values me she would have tried making amends. She still trows tantrums from her parents house. I forgot to mention herr mum is a control freek she has subdued her father to the extent his family members don't associate with him again. If you know how a boarder line personality disorder makes a man do u would understand where I am now. I wish I could change her realy wish I could. Am hurting instead of her to be hurting. I feel she is taking advantage of my soft heart. Can someone drop a number so I could call anybody. I would like to discuss personaly and explain some thingd |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by geeudy(f): 3:49pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
SeunEatsGARRI: |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by stinggy(m): 4:00pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
coogar: I agree with you on all points sire. You know it's a 'forever' thing and you went ahead thinking she'll change. PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE bro |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by kuderrich: 4:13pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
pogolowa1:eeya, I can feel ur pains buh d mistake u made was blivin she'll change,it's only God dat change people. M advice for you nw is this, keep calm, don't call her since she's still wit her parent for nw,if she calls pick and talk softly wit her, sweet talk her and don't talk to her as if u're still angry wit her. If she raises her voice at u, don't shout back,tell her to take it easy and at d end say u're sorry even though she's at fault. Wit these her conscience will b disturbing her dat she's nt bn fair to you. Let d word "sorry" b ur watchword nw.tell her sorry in every little fight she's picking. God help u. My submission for nw |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by luvablesam(m): 4:54pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Hmmmm.....how come those that are so good at making comments on every thread on the family section to increase ratings never do the following: 1. Never create threads to complain about their own lives or relationships or are they too perfect to have issues?(Some don't even create topics at all or if they do,then it has to be in religion section) 2. How comes they never decide Not make comments on the first page of every 'hit topic' on the family section? Or is it that (a) They aren't even in relationships and thus not in a position to advice? Or (b) Do the leave their spouses hanging and rather prefer to be here in other to be seen,thereby causing the same problems they set out to profer solutions to here in their various homes? are u expert advisers for real? @ OP,I wonder y u have brought such a topic here when really in your heart of hearts you cud solve your problems urself @ some please shun hypocritism, its Killing family section slowly 2 Likes |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 4:58pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Pogolowa1, I think you married the wrong person. I don't know why but I don't think that you should NOT suffer for making a mistake till the day you die. We all make mistakes. What have you tried to make the marriage work? Try anything possible to make this marriage work. If all your attempts fail, divorce may be an option. I hope you don't have children yet. |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by SUV(f): 5:00pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
I agree with kuderich. She's still hurt cos u beat her up. I don't forgive it easily either no matter my offence. U shldnt hv sent her to her parents, call her and arrange to for a decent place to meet and talk things over, then u both wl go back home together. First start wit d promise never to raise ur hand on her again b4 going into d matters arising. Be ready to listen to her as well and tell her what u wl do if she makes things better. |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 7:47pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
This may sound funny ![]() ![]() |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 8:07pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Zikamax: I did all it did not work. Infact It got worst she just picked her phone and called her mother and told her I was cheating on her. And d mother called me and started insulting me. |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Wendy80(f): 8:28pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
pogolowa1: Mother insulting her son inlaw? ![]() ![]() |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 8:38pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
pogolowa1: ![]() |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 8:55pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Zikamax:That's my problem now we have a beautiful daughter she is barely two years. She uses dat as a hold on me. My problem is how do I move on as am feeling depressed right now. |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by FynBabe(f): 9:13pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Pls, can you tell us why you sent her to her parent's house? I'm asking because I don't see any of the things you listed as enough reason to send your wife packing or maybe your family and friends adviced you to do so? 2 Likes |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 11:55pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
FynBabe:With all those characters she constantly put up told the parents that she needed to change her attitude. And I felt if we give our self a break we could have time to think it through. After work I hangout late just to ensure I spend a lot of time alone before I go home and face angry wife. Force my self to drink so I could sleep without thinking much. 1 Like |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by igbonla(m): 7:16am On Nov 17, 2014 |
pogolowa1: Dude, I read your narrative yesterday and refused to drop a comment until now. Few things to share with you here. I strongly condemn the beating you gave your wife, there is no need for that. It is dangerous, does not make things better and can end up turning you to a killer. You must manage your emotions all the time and leave her presence if things get too toxic, there is almost no alternative to this idea. Beating people up is a sign of a damaged life Having written the above, I support all other actions you took (letting her go to her parent's house) so both of you can think things over. The things you listed in your original post that your wife does are great signs of verbal abuse and you will not be able to deal with it properly until you are able to identify that your wife is verbally abusing you. Getting angry at little things and giving cold shoulders for days are terrible signs in a relationship and should not be overlooked. The need to have control is often times the foundation of these problems, you cannot change this woman, in fact any attempt to change her will leave you frustrated and put you on a train of emotional wreck. Abusive women can hardly change because women are naturally empathetic, losing that part of them points at some psychological problems that are often difficult to manage (not resolve) except via long term therapy. Sorry if my comment here does not give hope, please proceed with the "for better for worse" slogan if you don't mind dying before you finally die. Or go grab a copy of "the Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond by Patricia Evans" and see how much of your damaged life you can salvage. I suggest you don't make contact with your wife until you read this book and decide on what you want to do. I wish you luck in all of your decisions, but stay away from beating anybody. |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by FynBabe(f): 8:22am On Nov 17, 2014 |
Pls, for how long has she been away? Don't you think her staying @ her parents' place would make her even more stubborn? I hope you didn't tell her parents you are no longer interested in the marriage. Get your wife back and groom her to be what you want, sir. If not for any thing, for your beautiful daughter's sake. I hope the matter has not gotten to an irredeemable stage. pogolowa1: |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 8:44am On Nov 17, 2014 |
FynBabe:Yes its making her more sturbborn. Bought my baby food she rejected it just last week. Said I sent them late. The thing is that we nigerians don't belive in shrinks the only thing pple think about its marine spirits. Most times I just wonder why I had to go down this lanen why it ought to be me at all. Even the dad is aking me to manage his daughter how can I do dat for the rest of my life. For the beating thing I last laid my hands on her last year. Not that I regularly beat her I learnt that if I always beat her that shows am emotionaly weak so I avoid her a lot. |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by FynBabe(f): 8:51am On Nov 17, 2014 |
Both of you can still work things out. What does your family think about all these? Let her leave her parents' house ASAP. Stay together and resolve your issues. Don't worry, this is nothing compared to what some people have been through and came out stronger. All the best. pogolowa1: |
Re: Sriously Need Someone To Talk To by Nobody: 9:00am On Nov 17, 2014 |
FynBabe:We can only work things out if she has the heart of accepting her faults. My family are divided in between my lawyer sister said worst we should divorce while the rest are wondring what kind of heart and family she has. 1 Like |
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