“A fool and his money are soon parted.” -Thomas Tusser

Dear Nigerian Bros, You Earn N70k A Month & You Want I-GO-DIE-FOR-YOU Love, HIAN!!!
by Joy Isi Bewaji

My Dear Bros,

I am tired of you whining about your girlfriend. What is it that you want? What are your expectations? She grew up in a city where “chop my money” by P-square is the soundtrack of our existence. She has Eldee singing, “ki lo fe, shey moto ni?” (what do you want, is it a car?); where Skuki is telling her to stop complaining that the s-x is sore after obtaining a Prada purse; and Olamide is demanding that she “go down low” before she can get whatever expensive bric-a-brac she wants.

She is on the internet watching flamboyant proposals on YouTube- one guy pays for the whole seats in a movie theatre just so he can propose to his girlfriend over a Sex and the City footage. Another pays for advertisement space at a basketball game just so his popcorn-loving babe can see herself on big screen as he pops the question: “Will you marry me?”

She has friends in school who drive around in Kia Optima bought by boyfriends working in Abuja.

That is her reality. You met her that way- a broke student with expensive dreams, living with a retired father and five siblings waiting every month, with gluttony for a cape, ready to dive into the old man’s pocket to gobble their own share of his pension. Sometimes they wait for months, and months turn to years, while sons become petty thieves and daughters convert to part-time prostitutes.

You met her that way- with an expensive ipad and no job. You didn’t question the Louboutin she wore on your first date; you didn’t raise an eyebrow when you saw her rocking a N75,000 swatch; you admired her head full of weaves and nodded approvingly. That weave costs N230,000. Don’t you know? Have you been living under a rock? So what are you complaining about?

After six months, the excitement of what she must have felt when her eyes settled on your good looks have worn off considerably; her true needy nature is in full bloom, and you start to rant, turn to a preacher yelling: “Money is not everything. Why are women so desperate and greedy? Money cannot buy happiness…”

Is love going to pay her fees and keep her greed for the good things of life at bay? So dad’s pension has been delayed for the fifth month. The last time he almost died on the queue waiting for hours, now he has announced to all his children- all shacked up in one sorry Nigerian University or the other- to go fend for themselves. Their only source of support is as good as dead.

Your babe is in her second year studying business administration. She has bills to pay and no clue how to get it sorted. She has a mop on her head (been sitting there for over nine weeks) that she needs to get rid of (to affix another more glorified one); her knickknacks are running out…and there you stand, with your portmanteau and a badly beaten golf car, talking about love and beautifully written letters.

Why do we like to buy trouble in the open market like this? How do you expect a struggling student of the Federal Republic of Nigeria with zero parent/government support, and siblings who are just as deprived, to worry about love and constant pings, or care about plastic red flowers you buy once a year on Valentine’s Day?

Think!

Leave the student to focus on her life and the ugly challenges threatening to consume her. Stay away, your love is the last thing she needs. Unless that love comes with pocket money and a Hyundai saloon car, just forget it. You are complicating her life even more with your N70,000 job.

Why don’t you find a woman…you know? A woman with a job, who would shriek with joy when you ping her? One you can spend hours with talking about love and sweet nothings and she wouldn’t ask for recharge cards.

Aren’t you tired of being an ATM? It’s not like you have anything really. Your salary can barely sustain you. You’ve neglected your mother just so you can take Miss Under-graduate to the cinema every weekend to make up for the Blackberry Q300 you couldn’t buy for her.

Hian! Wake up, man! If you were my brother I’ll slap you out of this thick delirium. Be wise. Love with wisdom. With a N70,000 pay slip every month, the last thing you need is her love.

Soon you’ll start planning a wedding and children in your state of lack- the two of you walking into the arms of penury; claiming to have been captured by love. You see why you deserve a material lover? Because your brain is on permanent retreat.

Source: lailasblog.com
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Your thoughts?

well said

i pray they listen. yahoo love is like a canker worm, e don chop niggas brain like milk candy...

Be it my mother,sisters,wife,cousins,niece and gf,don't know about you but to me they must to chop my money

FARANO FP ..ASAP

Those guys that reason with their di*** will never learn. "Mugulized ATMs"

If girls could chop psquare money,wot about u?

Interesting

op, naija ladies will never change, even the ones in the village are still money conscious.

I have seen working class babes still doing this long throat pattern of lavishing money they barely earn themselves.


Our guys too are too some extent faulty. This generation is a fvcked up generation of deceits, lack of respect for both God and their pussyies, prostitutelized life of multi boyfriends, spewing greenish lies of 'u r the only boyfriend that is fvcking me' and all the nonsense there is that u can think of.


I spit on the faces of this generation.

Well said my guy well said.

Sometimes,you just don't have to blame the girls,look at the conditions he stated, "no support from parents and government and she has to pay her schools fees" ,you can't afford it cos of your salary and you're talking about love . . Na love go pay her skul fees?,abeg free the gal mak she huzzle jare

lol

mencade5:
op, naija ladies will never change, even the ones in the village are still money conscious.

I have seen working class babes still doing this long throat pattern of lavishing money they barely earn themselves.


Our guys too are too some extent faulty. This generation is a fvcked up generation of deceits, lack of respect for both God and their pussyies, prostitutelized life of multi boyfriends, spewing greenish lies of 'u r the only boyfriend that is fvcking me' and all the nonsense there is that u can think of.


I spit on the faces of this generation.

it's like you didn't read the post,
.
The Op is not talking about girls being bad . . But guys using their brains i knowing the kind of girl they will date comfortably with the size of their pocket.

mencade5:
op, naija ladies will never change, even the ones in the village are still money conscious.

I have seen working class babes still doing this long throat pattern of lavishing money they barely earn themselves.


Our guys too are too some extent faulty. This generation is a fvcked up generation of deceits, lack of respect for both God and their pussyies, prostitutelized life of multi boyfriends, spewing greenish lies of 'u r the only boyfriend that is fvcking me' and all the nonsense there is that u can think of.


I spit on the faces of this generation.

Bros wetin happen na... Did they hold you hostage in Australia?

jmoore:
Those guys that reason with their di*** will never learn. "Mugulized ATMs"

hmmm.... Money is ultimately meant to be spent

herald9:




Bros wetin happen na... Did they hold you hostage in Australia?

hahahahaha....herald9 no na.

I went schooling in Australia thats all

mesoade:
it's like you didn't read the post,
.
The Op is not talking about girls being bad . . But guys using their brains i knowing the kind of girl they will date comfortably with the size of their pocket.

oga....tank u. Am throwing blows at both the ladies and the guys.

mesoade:
Sometimes,you just don't have to blame the girls,look at the conditions he stated, "no support from parents and government and she has to pay her schools fees" ,you can't afford it cos of your salary and you're talking about love . . Na love go pay her skul fees?,abeg free the gal mak she huzzle jare

because she needs some of these, this will spur her to live a life sleeping with every deeeeeeck and harry. Wow....dats cool

farano:
hmmm.... Money is ultimately meant to be spent

To be spent foolishly or wisely.

This topic is focused on spending money foolishly.

So on point,wish guys would use their head.

Nigerians tho...
Smh

.... maa book space, will comment after match

mencade5:
because she needs some of these, this will spur her to live a life sleeping with every deeeeeeck and harry. Wow....dats cool

aint saying that tho . . But cum to tink of it,any better option?

mencade5:
op, naija ladies will never change, even the ones in the village are still money conscious.

I have seen working class babes still doing this long throat pattern of lavishing money they barely earn themselves.


Our guys too are too some extent faulty. This generation is a fvcked up generation of deceits, lack of respect for both God and their pussyies, prostitutelized life of multi boyfriends, spewing greenish lies of 'u r the only boyfriend that is fvcking me' and all the nonsense there is that u can think of.


I spit on the faces of this generation.

bros wetin happen? did you travel across the Pacific ocean?

mesoade:
aint saying that tho . . But cum to tink of it,any better option?

i dont even have any idea where the better options are sef......going to church to get them is no option for me.

SkinnyDude:

bros wetin happen? did you travel across the Pacific ocean?

skinnydude my brother from another mother. Longest time.....hw tins na? I went on e-sabbatical leave. I am back with my troubles. Lol

Don't blame girls who are materialistic, it is the effect of nollywood. It's a pity nollywood movies paints an unrealistic picture of what everyman must do., »pay her fees, take care of her family, take care of her flybouyant lifestyle etc. Nollywood & the society makes our ladies dependent on men rather than encouraging them to be women of virtues. Is Queen Elizabeth not a woman? I pity this generation

mencade5:
hahahahaha....herald9 no na.

I went schooling in Australia thats all

Lol
welcome back bro.. we been dey miss you die...

what did you bring back....more troubles?

edozie04:
Be it my mother,sisters,wife,cousins,niece and gf,don't know about you but to me they must to chop my money

Amen... And may you never lack to spend on them and even when the money is not there may theyunderstand too.

herald9:



Lol
welcome back bro.. we been dey miss you die...

what did you bring back....more troubles?

bro....hahahaha......not troubles par se but this is a renew, refined, refurbished, more sharpened, crazier mecade5.


I have been going up and down nairaland seeking for wahala but nobody want sell for me.

Just joking sha

Ayam tayad o

See pictures..

https://www.nairaland.com/2003962/see-girl-wanted-convert-me