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Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by Nobody: 9:30am On Nov 27, 2014 |
“What are you talking about? Are you defending the nonsense the Federal Government is doing? They breached the law by failing to declare the money that was on- board the plane. Imagine if I was the one that was caught with that amount of money or if it was Mallam el-Rufai (an APC leader)? We would probably be languishing in prison by now.” – National Publicity Secretary of the All Progressives Congress, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, reacts to the $9.3m seized by the South African government “We were together till about 5pm yesterday, (Thusrday). But taking his life is not an option. It is not the best. This is irreparable and we have come here to condole with the family. If this other party are sure they are not the one responsible for the killing, they should be courageous enough to come and pay a condolence visit to his family,” – Ekiti governor-elect, Ayo Fayose, challenges Governor Kayode Fayemi to visit family of deceased, former Ekiti State Chairman of National Union of Road Transport Workers, Omolafe Aderiye Ladies and gentlemen, it is gratifying to see that our story is different today. We have effectively retrieved Anambra State from the gangsters that once drove our great sons and daughters away from home and made it impossible for investors to remember Anambra in their investment plans. We have chased away the enemies who forced our people to do Igba nkwu nwanyi (traditional marriage) in Lagos. – Executive Governor of Anambra State ,Willie Obiano, addresses Ndi Anambra at a security fund raising in Lagos ”Even though Fayose has not assumed office, he has succeeded in taking Ekiti State back to Egypt within a few months of his ‘election’. Not only are Judges being attacked, the kind of killings and chaos that characterized his first time in charge of the state have already started,” – The All Progressives Congress reacts to the Ekiti crisis “If the majority of the people decide to choose the weakest among them, or the least competent among them to lead them, the purpose of democracy is fulfilled. They must live with their choices until the next ballot… Should government develop our infrastructure, our economies and let us compete to be the best that we can be? Or should government give us money, rice, kerosene and contracts, once every four years and leave us to fend for ourselves until the next election? We cannot consolidate the norms of democracy without proper values, which are shared. It is only if we believe in the same thing that our methods can be united to achieve it” – Lagos State governor, Babatunde Fashola, advises Nigerians on the choice of candidates in 2015 general elections “Take away people who left the PDP from the APC, you will have nothing left in the APC. I will fight my own war in PDP, I cannot fight war for the opposition; let them fight their own war. I have been maligned, I have been harassed, but I remain in PDP. I will remain a loyal member of the PDP.” – Jigawa State Governor, Alhaji Sule Lamido, says PDP is his home “Nigerians should see me as new Atiku. I was in government the first time from 1999 to 2007 and I always thank my God that it did not continue. I have had a break. That break has enabled me to interact with ordinary Nigerians and know what they want and listen to them. Probably if I had continued and became the president I wouldn’t have been the new Atiku,” – Former Vice President, Atiku Abubakar, in a build up to declaring his presidential candidacy ambition “You see, the way we go about our politics is so funny. What irritates me now is what I see on Television; at the last count, I think somebody was writing in a national paper that they have over 8,000 groups for Jonathan, groups calling on Jonathan to run. I have never seen such an embarrassing thing in my life. Jonathan is a sitting President; he is a member of a political party. You see Pius Anyim, Secretary to Government, saying we have collected 4 million signatures begging Jonathan to come and run; this is a repetition of what happened during the Military – the 1 million man-match. We do not need it now. Have you ever seen a group calling on Obama, please come and run, or on Cameron of the United Kingdom? They just coin all kinds of name, Goodluck to Goodluck, Jonathan to Jonathan, door to door, I mean that is the part of our democracy that we started that is irritating to me.” – Charles Idahosa, Political Adviser to Edo State Governor, is sick of Nigerian politics “Our decision to return him to the Senate in 2015 is irrevocable. We in Benue State have endorsed the candidature of Mark to return to the Senate. The position of Senator Mark is not contestable. We want him back and there is no question or argument about it.” – Benue State governor, Gabriel Suswam, wanta David Mark re-elected for Benue South Senatorial district “Come 2015, APC will be in Aso Rock, but we must be aggressive to drag PDP and its members out of the presidency and indeed, Nigeria. I have the capacity to govern the Federal Republic of Nigeria. I must also make it abundantly clear that the PDP and indeed, President Goodluck Jonathan, cannot defeat me in the forthcoming general election” – Imo State Governor, Rochas Okorocha, calls on President Goodluck Jonathan to start writing down his handover notes "I don’t believe that the north will vote PDP. Simply because PDP has failed everyone in this country. If elected President, 50 per cent of my cabinet will be made up of young people. I will strengthen institutions and make sure that the judiciary ensures prosecutions are seen to their logical conclusion. APC for me is a bus stop. I’m not leaving for any other party.” – Former Vice President, Atiku Abubakar, reveals plans for Nigeria, if elected president “I don’t know what went wrong or why eyebrows were raised last week when the paltry sum of $9.3m was discovered by some busybody agents in South Africa after a private jet (alias PJ) from Nigeria landed innocuously. I’m surprised that anyone would dare search such a super executive jet anywhere in Africa where the rich can get away with murder. The story that went viral was that a plane belonging to the President of the Christian Association of Nigeria, Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor, a man of God, close friend and confidant of our President, university owner, and so on, was pounced upon and searched comprehensively. What impudence!” – Dele Momodu, publisher of Ovation International magazine and Politician calls South Africa thinks South Africa is unwise for revealing what was supposed to be concealed $9.3million on CAN president’s PJ to South Africa “There is no need hiding my joy, this is the month of August, the month of my birth, another good news I have for you is that after completing my consultation, I have offered myself to complete my tenure as the governor of Imo State.” Former Governor of Imo Ikedi Ohakim addressing members of the press earlier this week. “The election was rigged in favour of Aregbesola; some members of the O-YES were used as INEC’s ad hoc staff, some security agents were compromised.” Senator Iyiola Omisore has told his supporters in Osun to calm don and be optimistic as he will be declared Osun state governor come 25 November. “These campaigns, ostensibly by the Transformation Ambassadors of Nigeria but in truth being bankrolled by the Federal Government, offends national sensibilities at a time our citizens are being daily slaughtered and our troops are struggling against the terrorists who are bent on balkanising our nation,”- APC said. The All Progressives Congress (APC), calling out President Goodluck Jonathan on setting his priorities straight in a statement issued by its National Publicity Secretary, Lai Mohammed. “This is my personal opinion. If we have Tambuwal as President and Fashola as Vice- President, Jonathan will be out immediately it is announced. I think that is what the youth want. If you want a change in this country, let them put Tambuwal and Fashola. Nigeria will change and in fact, the stock exchange will increase that same day it is announced. It will give people a relief.-” Yomi Ogunnusi, Deputy Chairman of the House of Representatives Committee on Finance, on a possible winning ticket for the APC for the 2015 Presidential elections. “Ribadu remains a friend & brother. He is matured. He remains one who believes in liberty, justice and service. I wish him LUCK with GOODLUCK”- Former Lagos governor, Bola Tinubu, sending what many consider a cryptic message to Nuhu Ribadu on his defection to the PDP from the APC. Source: [url]ynaija.com/politico/what-are-you-talking-about-are-you-defending-the-nonsense-the-fg-is-doing-see-our-top-political-quotes-of-the-week/[/url] Feel free to add yours 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by lyricalpontiff(m): 9:54am On Nov 27, 2014 |
Lol |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by lonelydora: 9:56am On Nov 27, 2014 |
In Otuoke where I'm schooling, we don't read long on Nairaland. 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by Ishilove: 11:27am On Nov 27, 2014 |
"You must be very stupid for saying I bleach my skin. Tell your Editors I said you're stupid."- Alao Akala to Punch Reporter "How will you tell me I don't have right to treasury of Oyo State Government. The government I installed?"- Pa Lamidi Adedibu (2010) "We want to thank the President for bringing Facebook to Nigeria.” – Information Minister, Labaran Maku. (2009) “I will rather kill myself than commit suicide.” – Dame Patience Jonathan ![]() 141 Likes 13 Shares |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by FRANCISEKE1(m): 11:29am On Nov 27, 2014 |
OJUKWU is a hero but his manhood lives on.......Dame Jonathan 79 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by QMark: 11:29am On Nov 27, 2014 |
We have plenty Alibabas in Nigerian politics. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by englishmart(m): 11:30am On Nov 27, 2014 |
[b] "You press men, you always say there are no minerals in Kano. We have Coca-Cola, Fanta, Mirinda and the newly invented Sprite." - Barkin Zuwo "Foreign investors should ignore Boko Haram and invest in Nigeria." - GEJ "I will water your school and fire your school." -Orji Uzoh Kalu "Nigerians, don't panic. Terrorist attack is everywhere ... maybe it is our turn." - GEJ "I founded this school for the masses and the school fees is 850,000 naira." - Atiku Abubakar "Until I see someone eating out of the gutters before I believe there is poverty in Nigeria." - Umaru Dikko "Telephone is not meant for the poor. " - David Mark "The worth of a child born and bred in Nigeria cannot be compared to that in the United States."- Yakubu Gowon "School is not meant for the poor, only for the rich." - Ikedi Ohakim "At 50, Britain is still battling with King Arthur and the knights of the round table so Nigeria is not doing too badly." - Diezeani Allison- Madueke "Even Jesus Christ cannot conduct a free and fair election in Nigeria." - Olusegun Obasanjo "The corp members where destined to die, nobody can run away from destiny." - Mallam Isa Yaguda, Governor, Bauchi State "On behalf of 20 million naira, I'll donate my family" - Dame Patience Jonathan "We, the PDP did not win this election, I have gone to church to confess, I gave them money and they called the result." - Chris Uba "I want to commend the doctors and nurses for responding to treatment." - Dame Patience Jonathan [/b] 112 Likes 15 Shares |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by Tic4tac(m): 11:30am On Nov 27, 2014 |
lol...funny |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by holatin(m): 11:30am On Nov 27, 2014 |
but am not laughing 3 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by holatin(m): 11:30am On Nov 27, 2014 |
some of what you called hilarious are true word *edited* network issue 2 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by Bagani: 11:30am On Nov 27, 2014 |
Pls who is Lie 2 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by omoadeleye(m): 11:30am On Nov 27, 2014 |
room |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by sommyblaze(m): 11:31am On Nov 27, 2014 |
how I wish they schooled were I school in Jamaica, the case would have been Janja weed 1 Like |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by BruzMoney(m): 11:31am On Nov 27, 2014 |
Corruption is not a crime - presido 1 Like |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by Jerry24kay(m): 11:32am On Nov 27, 2014 |
* "President Jonathan has no hands in Rivers State crisis" - News * "President Jonathan has no hands in Edo State crisis" - News * "President Jonathan has no hands in Ekiti State crisis" - News * "President Jonathan has no hands in National Assembly crisis" - News * "President Jonathan has no hands in Nigeria Governors Forum crisis" - News * "President Jonathan has no hands in Stella Oduah cash - for - cars scandal" - News * "President Jonathan has no hands in the missing 20 billion dollars" - News * "President Jonathan has no hands in the stolen 2.6 trillion naira subsidy funds in 2011" - News * "President Jonathan has no hands in the security crisis in northern Nigeria" - News * "President Jonathan has no hands in the PDP crisis" - News * "President Jonathan has no hands in the pension funds scandal" - News * "President Jonathan has no hands....." - News #WHERE ARE HIS HANDS? WE NEED SOMEBODY WITH HANDS TO WORK AND SECURE NIGERIA! VOTE WISELY IN 2015! VOTE FOR SOMEONE WITH HANDS AND BRAINS! 122 Likes 19 Shares |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by Philipmems(m): 11:32am On Nov 27, 2014 |
am i suppose to read all these yeye and unquotable quotes ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by colossus2: 11:34am On Nov 27, 2014 |
No time to read any bollocks |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by Nobody: 11:34am On Nov 27, 2014 |
Booked |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by Matttthew(m): 11:36am On Nov 27, 2014 |
They ain't Idol... So we don't need to no so much about them. In France, we face our business. Even the politheificians av little or no attention from the media. Later when I rule US, I will wish them lucks. 5 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by fflamingo(m): 11:37am On Nov 27, 2014 |
Kkk 1 Like |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by jjwaterfalls(f): 11:37am On Nov 27, 2014 |
Too long. Some ar funny while some ar not. 2 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by Akshow: 11:38am On Nov 27, 2014 |
lmao even though i no read am |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by Dahkogrin007(m): 11:38am On Nov 27, 2014 |
9ja polithiefcians |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by Ambrogio(m): 11:38am On Nov 27, 2014 |
. |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by ekemini007(m): 11:38am On Nov 27, 2014 |
Hilarious quote from a man i once knew; If we say to God lord mk me lyk David! Know that at some point in our lifes, we would have to kill someone and marry their wife. 1 Like |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by moscobabs(m): 11:39am On Nov 27, 2014 |
PEJ quote on twitter on GEJ birthday 33 Likes 1 Share
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Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by colossus2: 11:39am On Nov 27, 2014 |
Akshow:Na who get excess time go read am na |
Re: Most Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians by McboG: 11:39am On Nov 27, 2014 |
Ishilove: ![]() 13 Likes |
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