[quote author=Billyonaire post=28382619]

The very reason Islam promote illiteracy amongst women is to make sure women remain loyal to men, so was it those days, because men refuse to train their daughters too, out of ignorance and dependence on men as bread winners, /quote]

Your comment here is myopic to say the least. The OP compares a practice prevalent in the olden days to what obtains now and seeking genuine reasons for their success rate or otherwise. But instead of you to address the issue intelligently, you have to lump a practice which was engaged in by all tribes and religion, to Islam. One doesn't need to dignify your post with a proper response but to pity the level you have attained in your phobia for Islam.

Billyonaire:
Islam promote illiteracy amongst women.

in just 1 sentence sir, u are mistaking islam allow equal education 4 both male n female.
If u see some people are discriminating e.g some abokis dat is dia tradition not islam thank u.

Back 2 d topic, the reason of much devorce dis dayz is simply END TIME

donroxy:
The truth is the economic realities of the world then differs from that of today :
I believe there will be longterm marriage in a socialist/communist economy than a capitalist/laissez-faire economy ....
Both men and women are facing economic and Political reality of capitalism i.e the more you can Opened the window of Opportunity for yourself interms of advancement , creativity, invention and Innovation the more your chances of living balanced life !
Conclusion
I believe Socio-Political emancipation, Economic harshness, Globalisation, Competition etc are all bane to succesful marital life and the new socio-Orientation now is that Marriage is becoming Unnecessary and a kinda bondage .... This socio-orientation will surely threatened Global Peace if not re-orientated through economic/political palliatives !!
It is like everybody get frustrated easily nowadays both the Rich and The Poor !!

Hopefully you work in the Public sector and not the Private sector, if not, then your hypocrisy stinks to high heavens. Capitalism is the economic system we have and can have, Proven and Trusted.


@Topic, thumbs up to. sophyrocks and Co. Marriage is not for everybody and certainly not an achievement. Making it look like one is what's the cause of the so-called high rate of divorces.
The moment people are allowed to live their lives with or without marriage, as long as they're happy. Divorces would be less

Emmalot121:
So this foøl is still on Nl. If you think Nig is that bad, keep it to yourself, skùnk! Still doubt you actually live in Germany.

Do I know you?

Billyonaire:
The difference is social media. There were lots of divorce too but there was no means of transmission of the news of divorce

The very reason Islam promote illiteracy amongst women is to make sure women remain loyal to men, so was it those days, because men refuse to train their daughters too, out of ignorance and dependence on men as bread winners, but now women have equal opportunity to get education and work to earn a living, so women can decide to divorce at will, for "irreconcilable differences".

Love isnt a good reason to get married, not then, and not even now, because love is unlimited in nature, it can be depleted, but friendships keep unions strong after the diffusion of love.

@ bolded where was it stated??

donroxy:
This is Ignorance of the Highest order ... You shouldn't be authoritative and assertive in a statement you have little knowledge and expertise ......

Making a statement is beyond Opening and closing the mouth nor typing them because the keypads is @ your fingertip .... Making an authoritative statement is about getting informed and educated about them !!

Islam promote literacy and education of the female

The Holy Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said:

''Acquisition of knowledge is binding on all Muslims both men and women without any discrimination. (Narrated by Ibn Maja in al-Sunan,1:81 §224.)

The Holy Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) also said at another place:

''Acquire knowledge even if you may have to go as far as China for it'' Narrated by al-Bazzar in al-Musnad,1:175 §95.

He (blessings and peace be upon him) said at another place:

Allah Almighty makes the path to paradise easier for him who walks on it for getting knowledge.Narrated by Muslim in al-Sahih,4:2074 §2699.

It is apparent from the Holy Qur’an and hadiths that the acquisition of knowledge is obligatory for women in the same way as in the case of men.

Say: ‘Can those who have knowledge and those who do not be alike?’ So only the wise do receive the admonition. ]al-Zumar, 39:9.

So only those of His servants who have knowledge )of these realities with a vision and outlook( fear Him. Surely, Allah is Almighty, Most Forgiving. ]Fatir, 35:28.

Islam is guided by hadith and Qur'an thus there is non of this document which mandated women not to get literate/educated !!

Being a billionaire of the brain is highly essential as it suggest highest level of being informed and doing away from bias

Well said.

Billyonaire:
The difference is social media. There were lots of divorce too but there was no means of transmission of the news of divorce.

The very reason Islam promote illiteracy amongst women is to make sure women remain loyal to men, so was it those days, because men refuse to train their daughters too, out of ignorance and dependence on men as bread winners, but now women have equal opportunity to get education and work to earn a living, so women can decide to divorce at will, for "irreconcilable differences".

Love isnt a good reason to get married, not then, and not even now, because love is unlimited in nature, it can be depleted, but friendships keep unions strong after the diffusion of love.

I beg to disagree with you sir. Please where did you get the impression that islam promotes illiteracy among women? To the contrary, islam exhorts all true muslims, irrespective of gender, to seek for knowledge. A knowledgeable lady imparts that knowledge to her children. Moreover amongst the very 1st of divine revelations to the Holy Prophet of Islam was the command to READ. "IQRA". Just clarifying bro. Thanks and one love.

See how people are even running their mouth. The truth is society is getting worse worldwide, and this societies that believe in their culture, as opposed to dependence on borrowed culture, marriage is still meaningful and successful.

Look at Nigeria. Were there bad and abusive marriages back then? Yes of course. Was there corruption back then? Yes of course. But compare it to now?

In America, it was a shame to beg and take handouts in the 1960s. Now, nearly 2/3 of society take one form of handouts and are not ashamed.

Look at television as well. Shows that could not air back then like Maury, are now status quo, yet no alarm anywhere.

Could Orji Kalu be governor of Abia state or any region say 1965? Heck no, but today, it's easy.

So, modern times have witnessed many women getting away with absolute crazy behavior, and men not activity like men, and in fact corrupted, so of course, the trend for high divorce

all these trash talks are baseless, the real reason is that those days we had much superior humans, both in male and female, the sense of responsibility is there,respect, loyalty,reasoning is there, humility was there,materialism was not there, being contented was there, honesty is there, and most of all love was highly valued.. with time the western education spread across the globe, and influenced most civilizations, the western education has its horrible short comings, it badly deceived women and made them feel that they are just equal to the man.empowered women with the tool to make a living independent of the man, women are species that gets more proud,troublesome,and more ruthless with the grab of money and power, women destroyed the union of the home,and family,the primary task endowed to them by nature wich is very vital for the happiness of humanity,things went south, and the problem is that is that it will only get worse....

zleemshaddy:
oooh my bad, sorry na becus members don dey plenty na

anyway, wen is our next meeting?

Lordabas:



because people don't know what commitment is -- they have completely bought into the concept that
"nothing matters but my personal happiness", and when things get rocky -- and they ALWAYS DO -- they decide that it is more important for them to be "happy" than to work on their marriage

You spoke my mind.

Billyonaire:
The difference is social media. There were lots of divorce too but there was no means of transmission of the news of divorce.

The very reason Islam promote illiteracy amongst women is to make sure women remain loyal to men, so was it those days, because men refuse to train their daughters too, out of ignorance and dependence on men as bread winners, but now women have equal opportunity to get education and work to earn a living, so women can decide to divorce at will, for "irreconcilable differences".

Love isnt a good reason to get married, not then, and not even now, because love is unlimited in nature, it can be depleted, but friendships keep unions strong after the diffusion of love.

I don't get your point Mr; U could av said Culture prohibited females from getting educated n Not Islam

Davivah:


I don't get your point Mr; U could av said Culture prohibited females from getting educated n Not Islam

Islam is biased about education, and its even worst when its western education. Girls do not have opportunity to get proper education in most Islamic states. in Saudi Arabia, the home country of Mohammed (where Osama is also from), women are not allowed to drive, not allowed to join the police or military, not allowed to go into sports except recently when few ladies are showcased for image laundering. And guess what ? Women are forced to wear veils covering their sexy natural curves. I am just saying it the way it is, I am not religious and I will never be.

Yes marriage of those days do last longer because every women then respect their husband like god,summissive to their husband authority also seeking advise and permission from their husband before doing anything in those days but nowadays competing of power with their husband at home instead of compliment their husband and show a good value for their children to learn.

I think about this too some days.you know,in olden days,your parents make the decision for you and the issue of love was not rampant.so when you get married,you have the mindset to make the marriage work,and as someone said,the issue of women and mens right was not rampant .the internet plays a role too.
These days if someone gets married,and the marriage is not going on smoothly,the person starts regretting saying I would have married so so and not this person.

Gerrard59:

Hopefully you work in the Public sector and not the Private sector, if not, then your hypocrisy stinks to high heavens. Capitalism is the economic system we have and can have, Proven and Trusted.

Your mode of reading stinks of comprehension problem and limited faculty !

I'm in both Public and Private sector !

Did I condemned Capitalism as an effective system of economy ?

I only made people realised the impact of capitalism as a system of economy and global economic meltdown on our homes ........ Everybody now goes exra-miles to make ends meet @ the detriment of relationships !!

Which one is difficult for you to comprehend in those simple english !!

Billyonaire:
The difference is social media. There were lots of divorce too but there was no means of transmission of the news of divorce.

The very reason [/b]Islam promote illiteracy amongst women is[b] to make sure women remain loyal to men, so was it those days, because men refuse to train their daughters too, out of ignorance and dependence on men as bread winners, but now women have equal opportunity to get education and work to earn a living, so women can decide to divorce at will, for "irreconcilable differences".

Love isnt a good reason to get married, not then, and not even now, because love is unlimited in nature, it can be depleted, but friendships keep unions strong after the diffusion of love.

Thats a misinformation sir.. 'If a educate a man, its as if u have educated just one person... But if u educate a woman, its as if you have educated the world'' words of Muhammad(saw)... Not derailing, just thought to bring it to your notice.

holyboss:


anyway, wen is our next meeting?

na 2dae, by 3pm

F117AA:
Whoever pays the rent own the house.
Yes, marriage changes a lot of things as long as the marriage is sweet, but when push comes to shove, the owner of the house will claim the house.
That is reality.

These days paying rent and other financial responsibilities is not shouldered by the man alone,so there's nothing like whoever pays the rent owns the house.

Sophyrocks:
Lets not deceive ourselves with this comparison. There were still divorces back then even though they were not as rampant as it is now. The fact that the marriages lasted longer then does not mean they were all happy, healthy ones. Some of them had dysfunctional families and were just merely patching up. We have people who can testify to this in their indivdual homes. These same marriages of then produced new generations with a lot more horrible mentality towards marriage thus transfering the same dysfunction from generations to generations. Now add that to the low morals of now plus marrying for flimsy reasons or to please society, then you see the product as many more dysfunctional marriages and more divorces. A good marriage of an old generation will produce sane and sound individuals with a healthy mentality towards marriage.

Lets just say that people are now more aware of what they want and would not remain in a marriage when their lives are at stake unlike that of marriages of old. Since many are marrying to please society or to fulfill righteousness then expect more divorces.

you said it all

IYANGBALI:
Thank God I have moved out of Nigeria,here in soweto the capital of afghanistan where I live,there is nothing like divorce,it is a taboo,marriage is permanent

sorry what is marriage? I school in France

In those days, most men were polygamous... these days, more men are monogamous but still have mistresses and love-children outside marriage.

In those days, everything about marriage was hush-hush and people suffered in silence...these days, women and men are more outspoken and social media contributes a lot in this regard.

In those days, women were ignorant and highly dependent on their husbands... these days, it is becoming a thing of the past.

I think it is difficult to say if marriages were truly successful in the past because a lot of people where silent about their challenges.

IYANGBALI:
Thank God I have moved out of Nigeria,here in soweto the capital of afghanistan where I live,there is nothing like divorce,it is a taboo,marriage is permanent

Iyangbali.....That your bobi na die,the thing get ear?

I hear say some bobi get ears sha.

mutter:
As women become financially independent the man has lost his typical role of being the provider.
However we tend to forget the meaning of provider. It means so much more than financial support.. A good man gives a woman a sense of security. It is a great feeling to be loved and to know that someone cares and shares his life with you. You can work hard and have money but you can`t buy someone who cares for you. Comparing today with yesterday would be wrong because it is not about staying in a marriage but it is about having a good marriage. I think that today women have a better chance of going into a marriage and it succeeding because they can make their choice and are more independent and exposed. The reason it does not work out in most cases is that society has lost touch touch with the real values in life.

@bold, so on point

@post, great

People confuse marriage length with marriage success/bliss.

In reality, I will say the marriages now are better than the marriages then.

Emmalot121:
I watched Trisha two nights ago, there I watched the shock of my life, Men who considered their wives as mere properties in USA. You would have thought, 'At this time in USA'?! These 2 women should be long gone. But we must agree that some women are to emotional to decide on issues like this.
You could feel the disgust of female audience and it got more when one of the men told his wife to help him massage (spelling not sure) his toes. People were calling for them to quit the relationship but we all could feel they didn't want to.
Instead of Trisha to encourage them to quit, she took both men into a room and councelled them. I could feel the remorse on their faces, one even burst into tears as he explained himself. Jesus needs women like Trisha, who could think that she could save a marriage, not people like you that you think you can help free a woman from her holy matrimony. Your worst enemy, through perseverance can turn to be your best friend. Women get easily distracted by people's opinion expectially when they are in emotional distress. A comment today, no matter how honest your motives are can destroy a life. Those two men and their submissive wives are now living a beautiful biblical life. So emotional!

What is wrong with helping a husband/wife massage his/her toes?

How were Most marriages arranged?? So emotions like love n hate were nonexistent then So, majority of marriages then were Contractual agreements with no emotional input and with utter disregard t d emotions of d individuals involved

How do u expect an intelligent discourse wen d initial premise is wrong?

A lot of u need t read up on history or beta yet go back t d village t find out from d elders how tins were done then.

s.m.h

Mondisweets:
sorry what is marriage? I school in France

see your mouth,na who dash you visa?

Truckpusher:
Iyangbali.....That your bobi na die,the thing get ear?

I hear say some bobi get ears sha.

I go wound you o

IYANGBALI:
see your mouth,na who dash you visa?

what visa again? I was a passenger on my friend's broom

IYANGBALI:
I go wound you o

Yimu

That thing no dey itch you for night?

I have read most of the comments from the most hilarious to the most thought provoking. This is a very serious topic that would determine to a great extent where we will be as a people in not too distant a future. A bit of every comment makes sense and would not down play anyones opinion. I would just share my thoughts.

The impact of the family as the smallest unit of the society has been lost a long time ago. We sail with the wind and the environment makes it clear that bad is good and good is bad. Having said that, this is my primary take.

Marriages and relationships have been ruined by SOCIAL NETWORKS. I would use some ECONOMIC terms in the area of CHOICES and INVESTMENT to make my point. As already observed, our parents had few choices and had not much basis for comparison. A woman was seen as a woman weather arranged or otherwise. There were limited means of sustaining communication or establishing contacts with too many women. Even as a kid, all we had were land lines and that was scarce. You had to call your babe at home and hope her dad did not pick. Those calls were priceless and required a huge sacrifice for who you call. Nowadays, that sacrifice is not so much. You have multiple babes and guys a phone call away even at midnight. You could choose to stay connected via texts and instant messages and silly status messages that drag you into conversations that don't concern you. Maintaining a partners interest is so CHEAP. Now you would have had previously difficult if not impossible relationship with a guy in France (what is it with France and Nairaland these days?). Your friend sends you the pin of a girl friend's friend and before you know it, you are in each others head without even meeting. I really don't understand the psychology of being interested in someone you have not seen in flesh over someone begging you to your face.

My point is that your CHOICES pile up. You have easily dated the funny guy, the so great in bed guy, the tall guy, the fat guy, the guy who just collected your phone number while waiting in the bank, the guy who walks up to you and says you look like Beyonce (if you love Beyonce, you are done) etc. People you otherwise would have seen only once and forgotten them forever. These choices lead to all sorts of confusion after marriage. The Exes are still a call away, a ping away and before you know it, you share marital issues with exes and get awesome consolation (especially from guys who are having the same marital problems like you). Yet they seem like a consolation in your time of need. It is easy to share revealing pictures. Something your spouse might have stopped doing with you (probably because he has his own online girlfriend). Then, disaster stirkes when you relight one of your numerous exes who also has issues. This wouldn't have happened if you had not easily established and maintained contact. Then you have the God Fearing finders on Badoo and othe pickup sites who are 1km away. (what is it with God Fearing needs?) I can go on and on but you get.

In summary, SOCIAL NETWORK provides us with too many CHOICES and very low INVESTMENTS. You can maintain 4 relationships without leaving the confines of your room. How can a man choose or decide? You can as well have them all. Everyone has a flaw and we just mix and merge to satisfy all flaws instead of sticking your decision between two people which would have been easy.

I also refer you to a book by Dan Gilbert "Stumbling on Happiness". It talks a lot about multiple choices putting us in a state of sadness. How do we reduce these multiple choices. We get busy, reduce our time on the Social Network (Like I am on Naira Land now. arrhhhh). But can we? And it seems the harm is already done. We have already met the multiple partners. It would take a lot of discipline, commitment and long term thinking that it always leads to disaster to change us. I worry that the bonds have already been established. (Phew. My longest post on NL).

Then, women had no choice than to endure whatever they experienced in their marriage. Now, they are more 'enlightened' & ask for divorce when they like.