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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread (8515 Views)
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Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by Nobody: 4:26pm On Nov 28, 2014 |
All comments about the assignments should come here. Thanks. Check for assignments here. www.nairaland.com/2019732/nairaland-poetry-club-assignments-comments |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by Nobody: 4:45pm On Nov 28, 2014 |
[b] cc: gloriaz OMA4U noble4d EverestDeBliu ayozainy texanomaly iyabodeh D9ty7 timpaker firestar laykorn Jennimma Nihillist Joseph1832 Krystalxxx Royver adepiero Gladyys cocxybaba Pdizzle godG LadyVida Neyoor ikescope Aspireahead bjims leadzeal Oahray UyiIredia yuzjet ahika EMEKA1MILLION destante Ikhilor princesa samflexxy cupidhero cisse7575 LORDI SirFrank1477 Laykorn: Hello poets and aspiring poets. Plans are currently being made to include those who don't use WhatsApp and those who haven't written a poem before and are joining to learn the art. Please follow for updates. Thank you. The tagged monikers have been added to the club as members. If you showed interest in joining,and your name is not on the list and you're not on the WhatsApp group,please contact the administration. Laykorn- Vice President,Nairaland Poetry Club Please this thread is for submissions,all discussions should go to the club chatroom. www.nairaland.com/2011764/nairaland-poetry-club-chatroom [/b] Ayamlaykorn |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by heayey(m): 11:47pm On Nov 28, 2014 |
pls how can i join |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by Oahray: 12:08am On Nov 29, 2014 |
1. DESPAIR IS A JAILER Fading ghosts of grasses once green On the other side, Dirt-brown like the brick walls That stand in the way. No use trying, No use trying. That window of opportunities, staring At souls that have turned their backs. Fingers holding on to sure doubts, Steel bars cold and unforgiving. Despair is a jailer, A cast-iron trap that never let's go. The light at tunnel's end Now dim with unuse, An Aesopian fable to feet Too heavy to take the next step. The jailer fiercely feeds the fickle A lump of Lot's wife to calm wayward nerves. At wit's end, when fear is the courage needed, Sorrow sits the sole king, And despair is a jailer Feasting on the sighs Of dreams locked away for life. 3 Likes |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by ayozainy(f): 7:42am On Nov 29, 2014 |
2 BONDAGE...I NEED MY FREEDOM Shackles of the dim past Lights my soul with pain In pensive mood I cry My heart leaps, for unknown The unwanted part of me Has made my being a fool For I gather my chain And lie on the solid soil *********************** My hands knows no craft I look without seeing For I am well ordained With ornaments of crime Rags of unwanted perjury Is mine to behold The ray of light I see Has made me blind within ************************ My freedom I cry This lock is so unfriendly I wash and sleep in tears For my soul fears them all My room is shallow With unwanted occupants Hunger now my buddy For I eat my vomit ***************** Let me out of here Anybody, Somebody I need my freedom Just give me a piece of bread To make me bear my brunt This cross I carry alone Is too much for a con Who has now been pervaded ************************* Freedom, Freedom, Is all my being longs for The padlock on me, Makes me an unwanted honey I wander here all alone In an infested boulevard An unplanned mystery Is what awaits me. ******************* Can I ever see the light? Will the sun ever see me? Would I have my own? My loneliness frauds me A fraudster now defrauded Untie my hands, I plead Unlock this chain, I cry Give me freedom, I sing. ********************** 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by ayozainy(f): 7:50am On Nov 29, 2014 |
BONDAGE.....I NEED FREEDOM
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Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by ayozainy(f): 7:54am On Nov 29, 2014 |
Never mind |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by LORDI(m): 12:21pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
Abeg,please this submission of peom thing,am I to compose the poem? |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by Nobody: 1:00pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
3- FREEDOM BEHIND STEEL BARS(a letter to my wife) Dammy, I looked in the bathroom mirror today, and I saw my hairs turning grey. I have somethings to tell you, my gift on Christmas Day. Dammy, there is a hidden part of every one of us, that we spend our whole lives looking for. It has not a name,and can never be described in a way. Hidden,yet thrashing against the walls,a screaming voice. Dammy, I know you stare at the moon,smell in the dew. But have you found the hidden the hidden part in you? The part that makes you human,makes you fulfilled. Yesterday,I was a convicted felon,today I made a breakthrough. Dammy, Open eyed yet I was too blind to see. Now I've found the hidden part of me. I've found the joy that remains, when freedom ran and ceased to be a friend,for me. Dammy My music,the heavy 'clang clang' of locks, and play,when Skuka pulls his violent stunts. But everyday my freedom multiplies,doubles and remains. When I remember dying here before my 100 years long. Dammy Now never you try to remember my cuddles or my kisses. My roses or my perfumes and the promises or all this Christmas Day feelings. Cos I am free now I am free. Free as a rain drop,when it leaves its mother,the sky, falling. Dammy Never you try to call my words balderdash,for they have a meaning. The meaning of a sentence,but prolonged by a prisoners writing. Cos I am free now I am free Steel bars are not really there when you pretend not to see. Dammy So join me now,to chant a freedom rhyme. With a soothing rythm,we make a toast with glasses of wine. To freedom and freedom,behind steel bars. Cos the bars are never there,when I close my eyes. "In prison, those things withheld from and denied to the prisoner become precisely what he wants most of all." Eldridge Cleaver Ayamlaykorn 4 Likes 1 Share
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Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by LORDI(m): 2:28pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
4) NO ONE LIVES HERE ANYMORE On all homes That lie bereft Along plains That line benue shores On silent farms Of extinct tribes That nutured yams And gold mines today We found the hands and feet and The decapitated heads That lay like pitted blackheads On the turning cheeks for africa Then I know for sure NO ONE LIVES HERE ANYMORE 2 Likes |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by venivedivici(m): 2:49pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
5 LABYRINTHS Trapped In the dungeons of the mind Impeded By doubt and disillusionment The only things flying free Are gliding blogs of cloud Sometimes white, peaceful Others grey: blurred lines, demilitarized zones, transient ceasefires A thousand shades of bondage; Or birds Executing graceful awesome aeronautics And eyes, although hindered by Ra's rays They say it is a long walk to freedom (Is it true, Nelson Mandela?) What if one can never be free? If prisons are hallucinatory Confines, concretised by instruments of State And chains are illusory bracelets Mirages enforced by law? Prison... If prison is a precursor to hell And multiple minotaurs abound therein Then hell is here, where At break of dawn There are no memories of distracting dreams And at crack of twilight No reminiscences of day Not even negatives of fond photographs But déjà vus of the gloomy future. . 3 Likes |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by niyisky: 3:22pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
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Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by donifez(m): 3:42pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
THE AGONY OF THE INNOCENT Here i am languishing in this cell of mischief, Staring at emptiness...drowning in a sea of grief, I came to these country to make end meet, survival of the fittest is what it is, with my hands i worked, for every cent gained...an intense body pain. An horse pistol was found in my crib...like a compass it leads me to an unbearable ring, The court was filled to a brim....my fall their glorious glee, with every gavel been hit...my fate was gradually sealed, The judge pronounced my fate....I was guilty so he said. Here i am now...with tears flowing like raindrop from a pine, Justice i seek, vengeance shall be mine, A murderer was i called, now a murderer i shall be, And when i get the enemy that plotted this against me, I shall leave a trace of evidence deep within him. 7 4 Likes |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by texanomaly(f): 3:56pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
Why did you skip LORDI? |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by Pacesetter4lyf: 8:44pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
Black and behind bars He stood behind bars and dialogued with karma, His senses are plagued, he wished he hadn’t, Regrets form, behind tar darkened skull, And sorrow and sorrow let his hide radiate darkness. He shines so bright – like soot, His sunken eyes cry for Karma’s mercy, More so, they want bear witness to the truth, And see if it could invite life’s clemency. I however feel his misery, But know nothing about this mystery, See, a black Negro lies awasting, He clings to bars and gulps life’s sting. The man behind bar looks shabby, Skin and wear outdoing each other in blackness, I hear his trousers shout '‘let me be’', As it surges downwards in the cell’s darkness. But to forgive is divine, Succor will come again – someday, When this Negro will feast with glass of fine wine, And tell us what the bars say, And advice fellows on the path they choose – someday. pacesetter4lyf 1 Like |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by Nobody: 8:58pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
..... 1 Like |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by Nobody: 9:08pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
Iyabodeh,Pacesetter4lyf, LORDI, please count and check what the number position of your submission is and add it. If you're the 1st submittor just add 1. This will make it easier for our patrons to make out poems. niyisky you should be 6. Ayamlaykorn |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by Pdizzle(m): 9:17pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
Take me away * The hard floor has eaten into my ribs and fed fat on it, My eyes frail and skin pale from the extreme cold at nights and the day's heat, My lungs beg for quality air, My heart quivers with fear, My bones beg for strength, I feel ashamed, I've failed at length. * My spine found a new friend, These bars i lean on, send cold chills down the bend I feel happy for it, It takes the tingle and send it down my feet, Though i miss deborah's thighs and body seat, At least it has something to play with. * Take me away, back to the days i was warned and heeded not, And i will lend listening ears, Take me away, back to the days i erred and careth not, And i won't listen to my peers, Take me away, back to the days i was caught, And i will hide better, Take me away from these thoughts, Take me away from this fetter. 3 Likes |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by firestar(f): 10:15pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
Genjutsu It's just morning Yet, I recall I recall the day before The day before The Eclipse Those words I play I play like a mantra A mantra in In the recess of my mind: Why the caged bird sings He tweets a fine haunting tune... His plea? Release me... I am trapped With this haunt It's dusk at dawn My spirit's out My soul within Trapped by an illusion Sealed in Singing a haunt That you might hear Flaunt my despair For you see... If you can hear me I'll be set free So I sing I sing to be free 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by Nobody: 10:53pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
Gloriaz couldn't update the poem herself due to network problems. Patrons please take note sirs. Thank you Ayamlaykorn 1 Like |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by EverestdeBliu(m): 10:56pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
12. WHO'LL BE OUT She visited us in the north central after the season' drizzle, Though we'd invited her in talks,drawls and riddles, Our seasonal ally came an' by her cold-hands we were fondled, And she whispers with a cold-dry wind,and with a whirl-wind rumbled, That even in slumber we curl or fold, Hiding shiverishly from her bold But folksy touch and chilly hold. Her grip on us did cloy but to her still untold. *********************** In a swift move, O! She ducked and paved way for a dumb season. Our new ally was without utterance but e'en a chump in prison, Adheres strictly to her silent creed just as the blind on her face sees reasons. Alas!,she's for a predecessor a sharp foil and thus in-lieu coughed pressure. Cool silent breeze she seldom blew, We almost went nude n yearn for dew, Cos' we heat an' perspired,even a baby born new, "Come O cold but with loose clasp",we mewed. ******************** O! February,young but a day older than a January,yet the latter season prevailed, Compelled to the deck,O sloppy deck but her cool fine breeze we gaily gained, Five we were,chit-chatting in the dark serene night,yes, even gaily. Togs on bare bodies stood on flip-flops, we sat glued on wood like bench nailed, Whistling and whispering to her face, And by our door we bluffed in grace, Her bossom now,we wish to embrace, Defying the night,holding her as a brace. ******************** Same night,though the night almost dead but our talk to it breathed life, Hooted no siren,a truck halted by our red earth human hive. Thus the alighting of trio truncheon men blew in three of the five. "This is our home" as in a duet we chirped "and ain't out to spring up a vile, "Hey! Get into the truck..IN!" They shouted. "But officer the room heat and did toast us out", "Yea choky foul breeze you'll breath in your cell bout" "O! if the chilly season did prevail,who'll be out!" ***************** The free men are bond and the shackled are free, None is trully imprisoned or free like a tree, We're all engulfed in our fears and weary, Who'll be out if life had learn to be merry In equal halves we're neither free nor bond, In half-full we're both behind bars and off-cords, Who'll be out if we're all in this locked fold, We're all men and inmates,let the story be told! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by noble4d(m): 11:05pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
Oahray: Beautiful! well organize poem with simple dictions. I like the fact that you write in four sestets to express your mood. I did feel each verse you wrote,easy for lay readers to understand. Thumbs up. |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by noble4d(m): 11:14pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
ayozainy: Hi Ayozainy, your hard works in the Appreciation of poetry is obvious. You've really improve. Your choice of words are okay, easy for lay readers to understand. I strongly feel the pains and sorrowful mood of the poet, it's really touching. Your poem is arranged in six octave..But you need to improve on your punctuations. God bless you. |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by Nobody: 11:17pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
JisgsawKillah was banned bay the anti spam-bot. Thanks noble4d. Ayamlaykorn |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by noble4d(m): 11:26pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
laykorn: Hi Laykorn, you write well with touching story. Your poem is well structured, your choice of words is simple. But you still need to improve on your punctuations. Remember, every first letter of each line should start with block letter. Thumbs up. |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by noble4d(m): 11:38pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
LORDI: Hallo LORDI, this is an example of a well designed building with a weak pillar. Punctuations has a vital role in poetry. Your poem is wonderfully organize but punctuations are lost. |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by noble4d(m): 11:44pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
venivedivici: Hallo Bro, I think you need to relax and re-structure your poem. Work on your punctuations and diction. Thumbs up. |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by noble4d(m): 11:50pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
niyisky: Straight and hilarious. Well structured poem with simple words. But you still need to work on your diction and punctuations. Thanks. |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by venivedivici(m): 11:56pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
noble4d: Restructure in what sense, bro? Punctuation and diction as pertaining to what parts or lines? I think you should be more explicit, sir. |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by noble4d(m): 11:58pm On Nov 29, 2014 |
donifez: Good choice of words, easy to understand by lay readers. You kept on using "..." In your poem, you need to learn how to appropriately use punctuations in poetry. Also, your poem is not well organize. I know you can do better, keep it up. |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by texanomaly(f): 12:00am On Nov 30, 2014 |
Untitled for now Could we call it blight on this country fair? Mans cruelty to Man centuries bygone, Such disease this country to become heir. Monsters and demons the practice did spawn. Throughout those years, a darkness did descend. Man bought and sold without any recourse. To wound and molest without recompend. Tearing mother from Child, held no remorse. Though progress was made in the years that passed, Some continued to spread the infection. But into the pond, a small stone was cast, By he who brought peaceful resolution. When will we re'lize from whence we ALL come. From then to now, we must tally the sum. 1 Like |
Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Assignments Comments Thread by noble4d(m): 12:08am On Nov 30, 2014 |
venivedivici: Hallo veni, you should endeavor to organize your poem in such a way that lay readers will understand. The lines in your poem are scattered which makes the stanzas to break. |
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