Hello everyone!

I have been dating this guy for a year now, both of us have jobs so I don't ask him for any financial assistance.
for sometime now I have been getting suitors, they are five in number now asking for my hand in marriage but I keep turning them down because I am hoping on my present relationship though the stuborn ones are still disturbing me with marriage proposals.

I decided to let my boyfriend know about them, the response I got from him wasn't satisfactory. From my own understanding he's not ready to settle down any time soon neither did he tell me to wait for him nor propose to me.

I am confused right now, I don't know if I should wait
for him till when he's ready but my fear is what if he never propose. I really love him and I know he loves me too.

Matured advice please.

"Please don't mind my typing skills I am typing through one kpalasa phone"

please ma'am,should we start clapping?

Caisenes:
please ma'am,should we start clapping?

Meaning? Please this thread is not for people like you I need matured minds. Thanks!

He's not ready to settle down I think you should accept one of your suitors your current boy friend might be a play boy you know

FavourGee:
Hello everyone!

I have been dating this guy for a year now, both of us have jobs so I don't ask him for any financial assistance.
for sometime now I have been getting suitors, they are five in number now asking for my hand in marriage but I keep turning them down because I am hoping on my present relationship though the stuborn ones are still disturbing me with marriage proposals.

I decided to let my boyfriend know about them, the response I got from him wasn't satisfactory. From my own understanding he's not ready to settle down any time soon neither did he tell me to wait for him nor propose to me.

I am confused right now, I don't know if I should wait
for him till when he's ready but my fear is what if he never propose. I really love him and I know he loves me too.

Matured advice please.

"Please don't mind my typing skills I am typing through one kpalasa phone"

thank you for your honesty, favourgee!

you are not alone in this dilemma. women have had to deal with this scenario. the guy they love isn't ready to marry yet while other favours come knocking on their doors.

the ball is in your court - what makes you happy? can you deal with the fact that you may never love any of your suitors as much as your present boyfriend? does money matter to you more than puppy love?

if you can answer all these questions honestly within yourself then choosing the best suitor shouldn't be a problem. go with your mind & be prepared to cope with whatever consequences that result from your choice.

FavourGee:
Hello everyone!
I have been dating this guy for a year now, both of us have jobs so I don't ask him for any financial assistance.
for sometime now I have been getting suitors, they are five in number now asking for my hand in marriage but I keep turning them down because I am hoping on my present relationship though the stuborn ones are still disturbing me with marriage proposals.
I decided to let my boyfriend know about them, the response I got from him wasn't satisfactory. From my own understanding he's not ready to settle down any time soon neither did he tell me to wait for him nor propose to me.
I am confused right now, I don't know if I should wait
for him till when he's ready but my fear is what if he never propose. I really love him and I know he loves me too.
Matured advice please.
"Please don't mind my typing skills I am typing through one kpalasa phone"

Then speak to him dear. Make him understand your fears and worries. Be open. Say your piece and let him air his. Men aren't mind readers. Sometimes, what might deem glaringly obvious to us, might completely elude them unless they're very specifically drawn to the issue at hand.

Talk to him and make him understand you need a definite answer.

All the best!

coogar:


thank you for your honesty, favourgee!

you are not alone in this dilemma. women have had to deal with this scenario. the guy they love isn't ready to marry yet while other favours come knocking on their doors.

the ball is in your court - what makes you happy? can you deal with the fact that you may never love any of your suitors as much as your present boyfriend? does money matter to you more than puppy love?

if you can answer all these questions honestly within yourself then choosing the best suitor shouldn't be a problem. go with your mind & be prepared to cope with whatever consequences that result from your choice.

Thanks for your advice.

Sweetheart,i understand your plight. I do....my advice is this If there is no commitment,keep dating other guys. You can't continue keeping yourself for a guy who is not ready thereby wasting precious years.

If he is serious about you,no one would tell him to see your parents quickly.

EfemenaXY:


Then speak to him dear. Make him understand your fears and worries. Be open. Say your piece and let him air his. Men aren't mind readers. Sometimes, what might deem glaringly obvious to us, might completely elude them unless they're very specifically drawn to the issue at hand.

Talk to him and make him understand you need a definite answer.

All the best!

Thanks but I tried making him give me definite answer, he began to talk as if I'm lying and pressurizing him to get married to me.

Jennimma:
Sweetheart,i understand your plight. I do....my advice is this If there is no commitment,keep dating other guys. You can't continue keeping yourself for a guy who is not ready thereby wasting precious years.

If he is serious about you,no one would tell him to see your parents quickly.

Na that wasting of years be my fears my dear o.

I think I will break up with him before I enter another one because I don't know how to double date.

FavourGee:


Thanks but I tried making him give me definite answer, he began to talk as if I'm lying and pressurizing him to get married to me.

Then he isn't ready.

Question now is: how long are you prepared to wait for him?

Jennimma:
Sweetheart,i understand your plight. I do....my advice is this If there is no commitment,keep dating other guys. You can't continue keeping yourself for a guy who is not ready thereby wasting precious years.

If he is serious about you,no one would tell him to see your parents quickly.

what if he's broke?
some guys genuinely want to take the leap but they have no funds to carry out their desires thus the wait......

guys are not always at fault in this. sometimes, you women often date your agemates thus the disconnect. at 25, most nigerian women are ripe for marriage. 90% of nigerian men aren't ready to marry at 25 cos they are still struggling.

FavourGee:


Na that wasting of years be my fears my dear o.

I think I will break up with him before I enter another one because I don't know how to double date.

well,thats cool. Just think it through thoroughly. May the best dude win.

Five suitors?!!
When some women out there will DIE for just ONE?

Come, what exactly is the problem again?

EfemenaXY:


Then he isn't ready.

Question now is: how long are you prepared to wait for him?

He's simply not ready and doesn't want to commit.

if he's willing to commit I don't mind giving him one more year.

MzNelly:
Five suitors?!!
When some women out there will DIE for just ONE?

Come, what exactly is the problem again?

Hahahahaha!
Sounds strange, nothing but the truth.

FavourGee:


Hahahahaha!
Sounds strange, nothing but the truth.

which soap you dey take bath?

coogar:


which soap you dey take bath?

Hahahahaha! my dear na idole soap #250. You dey suspect am ni

FavourGee:


Hahahahaha! my dear na idole soap #250. You dey suspect am ni

i have to suspect it....
some chics don't even have toasters, let alone have men who want to marry them. your idole soap is working. how can i buy shares in the company that makes them?

FavourGee:


He's simply not ready and doesn't want to commit.

if he's willing to commit I don't mind giving him one more year.

Now that sounds like an ultimatum and he won't like it.

Why must you get married in a year's time? What's the rush? The more you push, the more he'll dig his heels in, in resistance to you - hence his comment about you trying to pressurise him.

I know it might feel you're spending the best years of your life / youth waiting on someone who may never be ready...but these things can't be forced.

You may have to decide whether or not waiting is worth it for you...or not. If not...well, you know what to do.

EfemenaXY:


Now that sounds like an ultimatum and he won't like it.

Why must you get married in a year's time? What's the rush? The more you push, the more he'll dig his heels in, in resistance to you - hence his comment about you trying to pressurise him.

I know it might feel you're spending the best years of your life / youth waiting on someone who may never be ready...but these things can't be forced.

You may have to decide whether or not waiting is worth it for you...or not. If not...well, you know what to do.

I understand perfectly what you are saying, I just gave you one year based on the question you asked me which I know I can never tell him with my mouth.

I am in my late 20's so it's not really that I'm rushing/pushing per say, I'm seeking for advice here to avoid 'had I known'

coogar:


i have to suspect it....
some chics don't even have toasters, let alone have men who want to marry them. your idole soap is working. how can i buy shares in the company that makes them?

lol

cococandy:
lol

u'r in dt category??

Op pray about it n let God guide u.

‡my2cents

AgapeCharis:
u'r in dt category??

was

FavourGee:


Na that wasting of years be my fears my dear o.

I think I will break up with him before I enter another one because I don't know how to double date.

Luv this, don't allow som1 convince u to double date..

@topic.. In such too, though am d guy.
Yes, she seez mii as doin gr8 cous of my job buh seriously am broke nd nid to step up my game b4 settling down cous I nid d best 4 my family. I neva told her last year Feb. Kept som 7 figure fund wiv my broda 4 d purpose buh issues came up nd it was used.

Buh cous of d way u re goin abt it now, d relationship had a very big crack, still luv her buh since shez bcoming desperate I pray her magic man comes buh if I sort my sef soon might go get her back but not all guyz wuld do this...

Am sure dis dude bu Nwa afo cous its in us..

cococandy:
was

thank God u'r out

amunkita:


Luv this, don't allow som1 convince u to double date..

@topic.. In such too, though am d guy.
Yes, she seez mii as doin gr8 cous of my job buh seriously am broke nd nid to step up my game b4 settling down cous I nid d best 4 my family. I neva told her last year Feb. Kept som 7 figure fund wiv my broda 4 d purpose buh issues came up nd it was used.

Buh cous of d way u re goin abt it now, d relationship had a very big crack, still luv her buh since shez bcoming desperate I pray her magic man comes buh if I sort my sef soon might go get her back but not all guyz wuld do this...

Am sure dis dude bu Nwa afo cous its in us..

urs is slightly different. In ur case, u'r ready. Just d finance holding u back but in her case, d dude doesn't seem ready

Nope.. I was not ready buh I had 2 keep aside som fund cous I noticed she was advised 2 kip a back up nd wen i found out I had 2 do dat.
She knows I luv her buh wanted that commitment which my financial state wuld not allow mii cous its crazy proposin nd she kipz wearing dat ring as if nah she act "Lords of the ring"
Wat am gettin @ is dat d dude might b broke irrespective he works.

OP thanks for opening this thread. You made my day. I'm so ready for marriage. My bf and I are age-mates and I think that's where the main "disconnect' lies. We love each other and are both working engineers. I have 3 guys on my neck too (2 which I met on FB) and 1 in Church. I got "close" to the one in Church and somehow, my bf could feel the difference in our relationship. He started asking questions like if I'm considering leaving him for someone else that he feels like I'm slipping away.

Anyways, I told him everything and how I feel like he's using me to pass time and I need commitment. He's been pleading, buying gifts, etc but I still don't feel any vibe of commitment or seriousness on that level. Although he stepped up tremendously, another time-waster is that his older sister is a pretty 33 year old single. I have no issues with her at all. Now my bf said he won't get married before his sister marries to save her face from shame. So how long will the wait be?? My "heart" says stay, but my "senses" wants to leave.

Lovethlovesmike:
OP thanks for opening this thread. You made my day. I'm so ready for marriage. My bf and I are age-mates and I think that's where the main "disconnect' lies. We love each other and are both working engineers. I have 3 guys on my neck too (2 which I met on FB) and 1 in Church. I got "close" to the one in Church and somehow, my bf could feel the difference in our relationship. He started asking questions like if I'm considering leaving him for someone else that he feels like I'm slipping away.

Anyways, I told him everything and how I feel like he's using me to pass time and I need commitment. He's been pleading, buying gifts, etc but I still don't feel any vibe of commitment or seriousness on that level. Although he stepped up tremendously, another time-waster is that his older sister is a pretty 33 year old single. I have no issues with her at all. Now my bf said he won't get married before his sister marries to save her face from shame. So how long will the wait be?? My "heartys stay, but my "senses" wants to leave.

Help d sister find man nah abii u lik ur situation..

FavourGee:
Hello everyone!
I have been dating this guy for a year now, both of us have jobs so I don't ask him for any financial assistance.
for sometime now I have been getting suitors, they are five in number now asking for my hand in marriage but I keep turning them down because I am hoping on my present relationship though the stuborn ones are still disturbing me with marriage proposals.
I decided to let my boyfriend know about them, the response I got from him wasn't satisfactory. From my own understanding he's not ready to settle down any time soon neither did he tell me to wait for him nor propose to me.
I am confused right now, I don't know if I should wait
for him till when he's ready but my fear is what if he never propose. I really love him and I know he loves me too.
Matured advice please.
"Please don't mind my typing skills I am typing through one kpalasa phone"

Sounds like you are ready for marriage
Let me be frank with you,Women have a window of opportunity to get their best pick
You better open your eyes now and pick one serious suitor now they are all around seeking your hand.
If you let this moment slip by,it may not come again and marriage will become a prayer point
Leave that small boy alone
The woman he will marry may still be in SS1
Don't waste your time

How old are you btw?