So i narrated how little i can of my ordeal since i got married to this man here last week - https://www.nairaland.com/2030889/he-punishing-me-honey-moon

While i got alot of advises from our dear Nairalanders, i had resolve before not to tell the pastor or my parent but to talk to him as many advised, i couldn't look him in the eye actually, i tried to do that many times since that Friday but I couldnt, so i said ok, after sunday service i will build up courage to confront him and voice out my opinion to him.

So on sunday, it was going to be our first sunday after wedding, i had arrange our wears, his and my own, i woke up early to make breakfast for him and prepare him for church, before he woke up i was already in the kitchen so i ask him to take his bath and lets go early.

He took breakfast (i don't take breakfast so i didnt eat), we were all fully dressed and ready to set out, i packed our bible and writing note into the car and the gift we wanted to give our pastor too inside the car.

it was almost time and i said, so shall we, he said not yet and i said what is remaining, he said you're remaining, you havent given me nothing this morning, i said but you just took breakfast, he said nope, i haven't had you. This is like 10minutes for church to start oo.

He came closer and i said please dont let us waste time lets go. He changed. Don't let us do what? did you just say waste time? he dragged me down the couch and started what i will call rape again, at the process he had rough handled everything i wore, roughen my hair, i started crying, he walk down the wardrobe pick up something and ask me to wear it, i told him i'm not going to church again, he started begging that i can't do that but i keep refusing.

He shouted i should let us go, and i refused. He came back and raped me again till i agree i will go. So i dressed up and just ran into my own car, took off.

He thought i was going to church, he also entered the car and make his way to church. When he got to church he called me. I didn't answer the phone. i came home and was lying on the bed thinking of what next to do. i was actually thinking of running away without a word so he can come look for me forever.

So he got to church and the pastor and wife ask him about me, he said i must be inside. The pastor sensed something. did you say she must be inside? Did you two not come together bla bla bla. After serious enquiries he opened up that we had an issue in the morning.

I was lying down and i heard the door bell, i thought he was the one, i did not open it. The bell rang a thousand times i ignored it. The pastor wife called but i didn't answer, so because my car was parked inside they knew i was around. Finally i opened and here my pastor and wife have left the congregation standing there with him.

So they came in and ask me what happened, i told them i wanted a divorce, that my husband was killing me. They ask me what happened, if he was beating me or denying me of sex of not providing etc. I told them he raped me everything over everything and that my greatest surprise was to know he is doing all of these because i couldn't let him have sex with me while we were dating.

They then turned to him and ask him what happened. I never knew some people can talk so well that will make a bad case look good. Anyway he's a barrister.

He said: "Pastor i don't know why this happen but i knew i never ask God to give me a virgin as a wife. My brother married a virgin and till today he cannot enjoy sex so he has resulted to having sex outside wedlock but i have promised myself that i wont do that. Whether she likes it or not, she must satisfy me.

Ever since i met her over 3 years ago, i loved her, even though she told me no sex, i thought she was just been careful so i left her. For 3 years i never touched any woman. Here i was thinking she was practising romance, or sex style she will give me on wedding night because she did not have any virgin trait on her. She was exposed (works in the media), talks fearlessly, gives me headache so i thought oh she is a tough girl.

But on our wedding night, my wife here comes into the room. Before i could finish a call, she rushes to take her bath, cover herself up like she is going for a Mecca trip. She comes here lying with her back facing me. I thought to myself, but this is the same lady that smiles and laughs throughout na. What would have happened? i said ok pls come and bath me. She refused. i had to beg. Then she came standing 50 metres away, throwing water on my body, i got so angry i wanted to beat her up but i calmed down and before i could say jack, she got angry that she is not bathing me anymore. I met her again in the room and she said she tired and want to sleep, i tried to beg her she refused I then say to myself, so after begging her for 3 years to date me, kneel down to propose, beg her parent, beg the church i have to beg again for sex in this house. Not in my life! So i had my way, and i made sure i wasn't hurting her because i realised the first time she was a virgin.

Just to please her that she was a virgin which wasnt much of a big deal to me, i entered a car shop, got her a car, i told her this is for you, she said thanks like i bought her a biscuit and the next morning she left to her office in her own car.

She returned and i wanted to kiss her and she said i was disturbing her that she is tired. I was so angry. Whenever i I'm angry, i just have sex with her to calm myself down so i dont go drinking or even beat her. The only day i can admit to raping her was when she returned from work and i had sex with her. She stayed on the couch crying. I took wine in two glasses, gave her one but she pushed the wine glass away from me.

He continued. "I then said jokingly, 'you see its your time to cry now, im giving you those hot sex so you remember the times you used to punish me, insult me and make me go through hardtime but you've got to change now because I'm your husband, if not you will be crying like this.

Then my wife stood up and said to me, 'God will judge you for your wickedness!'

What!!! So i am wicked for having have sex with my wife? The same woman i paid a huge ransom to her calabar relations to marry her? I got so angry so i raped the hell out of her that day. She almost fainted, though i felt bad afterwards.

So this morning, we were set for church. I wanted to kiss her and just touch her a little because she was looking beautiful. She started that stubbornness again. She pushed me away like trash so i showed her I'm more powerful by having sex with her and she said she wasn't going to church anymore.

I brought something else for her to wear she refused and i remember she does anything i want her to do while having sex with her so i gave her another round and she ran out to the car. I thought she has left for church but no. So, this is what i have been passing through."

My pastor wife was first to comment. She said "What!!! Did you do all that i heard?"

I said, "No ma, he is not saying it the way it is. He raped me."

So they started asking the questions one after the other. ''Did you bath only you on your wedding night?''

My husband jumps in. "Ask her if she ever bath with me together since we were married!"

At that point, i felt like asking him to stop talking. My pastor said, "how old are you again? In case i have forgotten". i said "26, sir".

He said "Why na.. why, did you not read? But you are learned na. Why did you have to do all of these?"

The pastor turns to the wife and said, "mummy, did you not put her through counselling?"

They all started blaming me and apologizing to my husband. My pastor's wife had a one on one with me. They asked me to kneel to beg him.

They ask me to dress up lets go to church, it was suppose to be our thanksgiving sunday. I told them, "i wont be able to go as my eyes was already red". In my mind I'd rather sit and start thinking of how i can satisfy this man.

As advised, i bath with him last night, as expected he had sex with me in the bathroom, i felt like fainting but i kept quiet this time. I bear it like its a price i have to pay.

We had sex 3 times before the night was over. Now he is happy.

HONESTLY IF I KNEW THIS IS WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE JUST STAYED IN MY MOTHER'S HOUSE. THEY DID NOT PURSUE ME OUT

You guys are not compatible or what? Well, i just pray one of these your 'rap.e' cases turn to pregnancy

Hmmm..u and ur "husband" are not just compatible sexually. Ur not even romantic sef. What happend that morning would not have happend if u had just kissed him passionately and told him to wait until after service and u'll make him forget his name.instead u were doing like wood. Better divorce his silly behind and move on to the next phase of ur life cos as it is,100yrs of therapy will not help. U are not sensual and he is not patient. Hez a beast who shld be left alone,since u dnt know how to tame this beast. And u two dnt even have kids yet and u have a non existent sex life..incredible!

HMM

pweetixandy:
Hmmm..u and ur "husband" are not just compatible sexually. Ur not even romantic sef. What happend that morning would not have happend if u had just kissed him passionately and told him to wait until after service and u'll make him forget his name.instead u were doing like wood. Better divorce his silly behind and move on to the next phase of ur life cos as it is,100yrs of therapy will not help. U are not sensual and he is not patient. Hez a beast who shld be left alone,since u dnt know how to tame this beast. And u two dnt even have kids yet and u have a non existent sex life..incredible!

my sister you are a wicked girl.

Cholls:
my sister you are a wicked girl.

The story above is as fake as the OP

smh

I lay my hands on my chest looking to the heavens...I tell you this story is cock nd bull

To me, i believe the op because there is nothing impossible about marraige issues.

I dnt believe this story is true.

Lol....LWKMD.....The man thinks all Calabar girls are rogered in Bed, But he's so wrong....U both need to seek a gud sex therapist. Just look for away to put his libido in check, Cus i think he has a very strong sex appetite.....In as much as we knw sex before marriage is a sin, This are some of the reason some people think otherwise.


If only u both had it before marriage,that might have help u can ascertain if u can cope with his appetite. Just find away around it....Sorry for ur pains and let him knw not all Calabar babes are very rogered in BED.

Cholls:
my sister you are a wicked girl.

my brother,marriage is not a by force sometin..if she can't dance kerewa for him,let her leave him. lemme even ask,have u ever given in to his sexual advances without him begging. This woman didn't do her homework well before getting married.

I honestly find it hard to believe this story. If its true i am sorry you are going through all this your husband seems insane to me from your story.

I am curious though have you never enjoyed the s3x with him?

Why is he communicating with you in such a violent way and why do you have to tolerate this nonsense? when the pastors wife told you to kneel and beg him you should have said NO. You can't just be crying and tolerating some extreme s3x just to please him look for a solution abeg since he is also a skilled manipulator and you've lost your voice you may need to go back home.

You don't have to pay any price you didn't commit any crime you only got married.

Please this tale is about denigrating men, to sound that some men are maniacs. Don't fall for the OP commendable piece and mastery of prose. No newly married man will handle sex as described. To a wife... as if it's a woman he will never see again for life. No please!!!!... I don't believe you.

I wish I could talk to you in private.

Since he never gave u d chance to feel the goodness in sex, you will not be comfortable having it with him. The i.diot should have been patient and given it to you with pleasure.

Those pastors are something else

My dear.....get in touch with Praise Fowowe. Www.praisefowowe.com

Google him

He deals with issues like this and help many married couples.

Many Nigerian pastors have absolutely no clue what they are talking about when it comes to sex in marriage.

Be wise. Go to the website i stated above. Ypu will get help there.

my dear please for God sake leave him. Talk to your parent and walk out of the marriage. i just lost a cousin and a friend 2 months ago. she was going thru exact thing u are going thru yet she stayed. At the end she got death in return. the useless guy in question did not even attend her burial cos she's from Edo state and her corpse needs to go home. There was a time they went to church but mean that the guy is a worker pastor believed him and he has a sugar coated tongue just like ur hubby. Dont wait till he kill u o leave now that u can. if u don't mind can we talk on bbm: 7B19F1D4

I really feel or pain.

my dear please for God sake leave him. Talk to your parent and walk out of the marriage. i just lost a cousin and a friend 2 months ago. she was going thru exact thing u are going thru yet she stayed. At the end she got death in return. the useless guy in question did not even attend her burial cos she's from Edo state and her corpse needs to go home. There was a time they went to church but mean that the guy is a worker pastor believed him and he has a sugar coated tongue just like ur hubby. Dont wait till he kill u o leave now that u can. if u don't mind can we talk on bbm: 7B19F1D4

I really feel or pain.

blesie:
So i narrated how little i can of my ordeal since i got married to this man here last week - https://www.nairaland.com/2030889/he-punishing-me-honey-moon
While i got alot of advises from our dear Nairalanders, i had resolve before not to tell the pastor or my parent but to talk to him as many advised, i couldn't look him in the eye actually, i tried to do that many times since that Friday but I couldnt, so i said ok, after sunday service i will build up courage to confront him and voice out my opinion to him.
So on sunday, it was going to be our first sunday after wedding, i had arrange our wears, his and my own, i woke up early to make breakfast for him and prepare him for church, before he woke up i was already in the kitchen so i ask him to take his bath and lets go early.
He took breakfast (i don't take breakfast so i didnt eat), we were all fully dressed and ready to set out, i packed our bible and writing note into the car and the gift we wanted to give our pastor too inside the car.
it was almost time and i said, so shall we, he said not yet and i said what is remaining, he said you're remaining, you havent given me nothing this morning, i said but you just took breakfast, he said nope, i haven't had you. This is like 10minutes for church to start oo.
He came closer and i said please dont let us waste time lets go, he changed, dont let us do what, did you just say waste time? he dragged me down the couch and started what i will call rape again, at the process he had rough handled everything i wore, roughen my hair, i started crying, he walk down the wardrobe pick up something and ask me to wear it, i told him i'm not going to church again, he started begging that i can't do that but i keep refusing.
He shouted i should let us go and i refuse, he came back and raped me again till i agree i will go, so i dressed up and just ran into my own car, took off.
He thought i was going to church, he also entered the car and make his way to church, when he got to church he called me, i didnt answer the phone, i came home and was lying on the bed thinking of what next to do. i was actually thinking of running away without a word so he can come look for me forever.
So he got to church and the pastor and wife ask him about me, he said i must be inside, the pastor sense something, did you say she must be inside? did you two not come together bla bla bla, after serious enquiries he opened up that we had an issue in the morning.
I was lying down and i heard the door bell, i thought he was the one, i did not open it the bell rang a thousand times i ignored, the pastor wife called i didnt answer so because my car was parked inside they knew i was around. Finally i opened and here my pastor and wife have left the congregation standing there with him.
So they came in and ask me what happened, i told them i want a divorce that my husband is killing me, they ask me what happened if he was beating me or denying me of sex of not providing etc. i told them he raped me everything over everything and that my greatest surprise was to know he is doing all of these because i couldn't let him have sex with me while we were dating.
They then turn to him and ask him what happened, i never knew some people can talk so well that will make a bad case look good, anyway he's a barrister.
He said, pastor i don't know why this happen but i knew i never ask God to give me a virgin as a wife, my brother married a virgin and till today he cannot enjoy sex so he has resulted to having sex outside wedlock but i have promise myself that i wont do that, wether she likes it or not, she must satisfy me.
Ever since i met her over 3 years ago, i loved her, even though she told me no sex, i thought she was just been careful so i left her, fr 3 years i never touched any woman, here i was thinking she was practicing romance, or sex style she will give me on wedding night cos she did not have any virgin trait on her, she was exposed (works in the media), talks fearlessly, gives me headache so i thought oh she is a tough girl.
But on our wedding night, my wife here comes into the room, before i could finish a call, she rush to take her bath, cover herself up like she is going for a mecca trip, comes here lying with her back facing me, i thought to myself but this is the same lady that smiles and laughs through out na, what would have happened, i said ok pls come and bath me, she refuse i had too beg then she came standing 50 metres away, throwing water on my body, i got so angry i wanted to beat her up but i calmed down and before i could say jack, she got angry that she is not bathing me anymore, i met her again in the room and she said she tired and want to sleep, i tried to beg her she refuse, i then say to myself, so after begging her for 3 years to date me, kneel down to propose, beg her parent, beg the church i have to beg again for sex int his house, not in my life so i had my way, and i made sure i wasnt hurting her cos i realise the first time she was a virgin.
Just to please her that she was a virgin which wasnt much of a big deal to me, i entered a car shop, got her a car, i told her this is for you, she said thanks like i bought her a biscuit and the next morning she left to her office in her own car.
She returned and i wanted to kiss her and she said i was disturbing her that she is tired, i was so angry, so whenever i am angry, i just have sex with her to calm myself down so i dont go driinking of even beat her, the only day i can admit to raping her was when she returned from work and i had sex with her, she stayed on the couch crying, i took wine in two glasse, gave her one she pushed the wine glass away from me, i then said jokingly, you see its your time to cry now, im giving you those hot sex so you remember the times you use to punish me, insult me and make me go through hardtime but you've got to change now cos im your husband, if not you will be crying like this.
Then my wife stood up and said to me, God will judge you for your wickedness, what!!! so i am wicked to have sex with my wife? the same woman i paid a huge ransom to her calabar relations to marry her? i got so angry so i raped the hell out of her that day, she almost fainted though i felt bad afterwards.
So this morning, we were set for church, i wanted to kiss her and just touch her a little cos she was looking beautiful, she started that stubbornness again, she pushed me away like trash so i showed her im more powerful by having sex with her and she said she wasn't going to church anymore, i brought something else for her to wear she refused and i remember she does anything i want her to do while having sex with her so i gave her another round and she ran out to the car, i thought she has left for church but no, so this is what i have been passing through.
My pastor wife was first to comment, she said what!!! did you do all that i heard, i said no ma, he is not saying it the way it is, he raped me, so they started, asking the questions one after the other, did you bath only you on your wedding night, my husband jumps in, ask her if she ever bath with me together since we were married.
At that point, i felt like asking him to stop talking, my pastor said, how old are you again incase i have forgotten, i said 26 sir, he said why na.. why, did you not read? but you are learned na why did you have to do all of these, the pastor turns to the wife and said mummy did you not put her through counselling?
They all started blaming me and apologizing to my husband, my pastor's wife had a one on one with me, they ask me to kneel to beg him.
They ask me to dress up lets go to church, it was suppose to be our thanksgiving sunday i told them, i wont be able to go as my eyes was already red. in my mind i rather sit and start thinking of how i can satisfy this man.
As advised, i bath with him last night, as expected he had sex with me in the bathroom, i felt like fainting but i kept quite this time, i bear it like its a price i have to pay.
We had sex 3 times before the night was over, now he is happy.
HONESTLY IF I KNEW THIS IS WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE JUST STAYED IN MY MOTHER'S HOUSE, THEY DID NOT PURSUE ME OUT

Divorce him,i take God beg you

And make sure you are not pregnant for him


He wants you to be pregnant so you have no choice than to stay

Why is everyone blaming the husband? Did you guys read the first part of the story where she clearly stated that she used him to have a good lunch, dinner or whenever she just feel like going to the cinema, that the guy never disappointed her? For good 3 years she played and milked him like wtf? How many guys can stand that? To the ladies if ur brother is in such courtship what will be your reaction?

Still yet the guy didn't give up and went ahead to marry her but only for the girl to start misbehaving on the very night of their wedding. Why won't you wanna bath with/for ur hubby? She even tried to resist the sex on their wedding night, come on we all have blood in our veins na and this guy has spent a fortune up till that moment. And even after the sex he realized she was a virgin and might be hurt, he bought her a car to compensate her. But ordinary kiss she can't give her hubby as a thank you.

Even though abusing her sexually is not the best option but what if he was beating her?

None of you guys here is saint enough to call him a beast except you pray to be treated the way she treated him while courting or you want your brother to be treated thus.

As for the lady in question, my advice for you is to beg him and change to a loving wife he wants you to be. Not always about sex, show him love and affections and if it's sex give him he's your husband.

Ma'am if ds story is true,its in ur hands to end ds nightmare,u can turn ur marriage into bliss by taking over,i know sex is painful for a while but u can learn and gogoole things dt wil make u d leader in d bedroom,its obvious ur hubby is highly concious of sex so u can make him happy by surprising him,he is ur husband so whatever u do to pleasure him is not ungodly,soon hel realise hes treated u badly and change too,take charge of ur marriage and be happy!

Something must be wrong with those of you advising her to divorce her husband.

Hmmmm season 2.
Is it just me or does it luk like dis op is writing tales.

Divorce him now that you are alive, beatings or rape is domestic violence, you might die trying

First of all , let me say that i find this story rather untrue, it sounds like what we read from one of those books, your story lines look all made.. sorry but thats what i think.

Secondly:
Sex is overrated , yeah... it is not the reason for marriage, it is just a component of marriage.
It appears your husband married you for sex as a priority. A man who loves you will not marry you to seek revenge on you "Its crazy"
If he has a high libido, as a loving husband he would give you time to come up with his mood, and not turn u to a sex slave.

Too much sex on a woman has its effects, the wear and tear will soon be all over you, how long will this continue??

Yes u overdid things at the beginning, but even the devil wouldnt gice out this much punishment, c'mon this is unfair.

Bottom line, if your story is real.. U may need to take a break , a living dog is better than a dead lion.
If u pass out during sex and never come back, u will immediately be replaced.

You are not a prostitute who services men all night, u cant give all your energy to sex.

phabulous88:
Something must be wrong with those of you advising her to divorce her husband.

You will advise your sister to remain in this kind of marriage Because men have finished or what He even admitted to raping her for godsake. I think something is wrong with you rather.

@ op dis is payback time. Its unfair on ur part. U are unashamed to even state dat u and ur friends milked him. Mayb u dnt even love d 1 u married cos u seem rigid to evry display of romance 4rm him. Even tho a virgin,Op is just inexperiencd/ her sex life is non-existent lyk sm1 said

Ok army on

This is why I hate that scam called religion..

Do not involve any third party in your relationship..

Quit been a p:ussy and leave your messed up husband for while let him get his senses back...

Your husband has a mental problem that has to do with women..

Or stop with your bullsh*t stories cos u just joined nairaland and your posts is making frontpage.

Nairaland is getting f**ked.