I told you the last time you posted about this issue.
If you can't give back, learn.
If you can't suck *ick, learn.
If you can't last thirty minutes, learn.
If you can't kiss, or romance, learn.
Learn, and make him tire, he will be the one running in the end.
He doesn't want to beg for sex.
He wants you to make him want it.
Please learn...
You seem to be the kind that find naked men irritating, learn to love it, and get used to it.

Sophyrocks:


Why must a man rape his wife simply because she held to the No s.ex rule and other funny characters? why did he marry her if he didnt love her but had ulterior motives? He must be a beast!! Marriage isnt by force. You dnt lke how a lady treats you then QUIT!! Now that he has turned to a rapist, is he enjoying the marriage now? Nonsense!!

U sure say u read the wrightups before provoking?
This is not a punishment! The lady never loved the guy ones and the zeal in her will never show, she married the guy bcuz of moni. Why the pastor and wife didn't side her?

cococandy:
you gat to be confused what these guys want sometimes.
Virgins. Yes? No?

See me see wahala o. Im telling you that Nairaland males are confused. One minute they say they want virgins and are condeemning ladies for not keeping their virginities, another minute they say girls are too loose and open their legs to every tom d1ck and harry, another minute they say want all the s.ex but no pregnancy. Infact ehn, i just tire. The hypocrisy is awesome!! LOL.

The op didnt do well by using him before marriage by making him spend too much though but these things happen to a lot of guys yet these guys walked away. they didnt make a mountain out of a mole hill. Simple!! why couldnt the man walk away? So which is better now: walking away to meet your kind of woman to enjoy your marriage or turning yourself to a beast because your d1ck says so?

cococandy:
you gat to be confused what these guys want sometimes.
Virgins. Yes? No?

see the way u dey talk am, if your husband or boyfriend deny you sexone night , i swear hell will let loose, yet the nigga waited 3yrs, i rest my case

blesie:
So i narrated how little i can of my ordeal since i got married to this man here last week - https://www.nairaland.com/2030889/he-punishing-me-honey-moon

While i got alot of advises from our dear Nairalanders, i had resolve before not to tell the pastor or my parent but to talk to him as many advised, i couldn't look him in the eye actually, i tried to do that many times since that Friday but I couldnt, so i said ok, after sunday service i will build up courage to confront him and voice out my opinion to him.

So on sunday, it was going to be our first sunday after wedding, i had arrange our wears, his and my own, i woke up early to make breakfast for him and prepare him for church, before he woke up i was already in the kitchen so i ask him to take his bath and lets go early.

He took breakfast (i don't take breakfast so i didnt eat), we were all fully dressed and ready to set out, i packed our bible and writing note into the car and the gift we wanted to give our pastor too inside the car.

it was almost time and i said, so shall we, he said not yet and i said what is remaining, he said you're remaining, you havent given me nothing this morning, i said but you just took breakfast, he said nope, i haven't had you. This is like 10minutes for church to start oo.

He came closer and i said please dont let us waste time lets go. He changed. Don't let us do what? did you just say waste time? he dragged me down the couch and started what i will call rape again, at the process he had rough handled everything i wore, roughen my hair, i started crying, he walk down the wardrobe pick up something and ask me to wear it, i told him i'm not going to church again, he started begging that i can't do that but i keep refusing.

He shouted i should let us go, and i refused. He came back and raped me again till i agree i will go. So i dressed up and just ran into my own car, took off.

He thought i was going to church, he also entered the car and make his way to church. When he got to church he called me. I didn't answer the phone. i came home and was lying on the bed thinking of what next to do. i was actually thinking of running away without a word so he can come look for me forever.

So he got to church and the pastor and wife ask him about me, he said i must be inside. The pastor sensed something. did you say she must be inside? Did you two not come together bla bla bla. After serious enquiries he opened up that we had an issue in the morning.

I was lying down and i heard the door bell, i thought he was the one, i did not open it. The bell rang a thousand times i ignored it. The pastor wife called but i didn't answer, so because my car was parked inside they knew i was around. Finally i opened and here my pastor and wife have left the congregation standing there with him.

So they came in and ask me what happened, i told them i wanted a divorce, that my husband was killing me. They ask me what happened, if he was beating me or denying me of sex of not providing etc. I told them he raped me everything over everything and that my greatest surprise was to know he is doing all of these because i couldn't let him have sex with me while we were dating.

They then turned to him and ask him what happened. I never knew some people can talk so well that will make a bad case look good. Anyway he's a barrister.

He said: "Pastor i don't know why this happen but i knew i never ask God to give me a virgin as a wife. My brother married a virgin and till today he cannot enjoy sex so he has resulted to having sex outside wedlock but i have promised myself that i wont do that. Whether she likes it or not, she must satisfy me.

Ever since i met her over 3 years ago, i loved her, even though she told me no sex, i thought she was just been careful so i left her. For 3 years i never touched any woman. Here i was thinking she was practising romance, or sex style she will give me on wedding night because she did not have any virgin trait on her. She was exposed (works in the media), talks fearlessly, gives me headache so i thought oh she is a tough girl.

But on our wedding night, my wife here comes into the room. Before i could finish a call, she rushes to take her bath, cover herself up like she is going for a Mecca trip. She comes here lying with her back facing me. I thought to myself, but this is the same lady that smiles and laughs throughout na. What would have happened? i said ok pls come and bath me. She refused. i had to beg. Then she came standing 50 metres away, throwing water on my body, i got so angry i wanted to beat her up but i calmed down and before i could say jack, she got angry that she is not bathing me anymore. I met her again in the room and she said she tired and want to sleep, i tried to beg her she refused I then say to myself, so after begging her for 3 years to date me, kneel down to propose, beg her parent, beg the church i have to beg again for sex in this house. Not in my life! So i had my way, and i made sure i wasn't hurting her because i realised the first time she was a virgin.

Just to please her that she was a virgin which wasnt much of a big deal to me, i entered a car shop, got her a car, i told her this is for you, she said thanks like i bought her a biscuit and the next morning she left to her office in her own car.

She returned and i wanted to kiss her and she said i was disturbing her that she is tired. I was so angry. Whenever i I'm angry, i just have sex with her to calm myself down so i dont go drinking or even beat her. The only day i can admit to raping her was when she returned from work and i had sex with her. She stayed on the couch crying. I took wine in two glasses, gave her one but she pushed the wine glass away from me.

He continued. "I then said jokingly, 'you see its your time to cry now, im giving you those hot sex so you remember the times you used to punish me, insult me and make me go through hardtime but you've got to change now because I'm your husband, if not you will be crying like this.

Then my wife stood up and said to me, 'God will judge you for your wickedness!'

What!!! So i am wicked for having have sex with my wife? The same woman i paid a huge ransom to her calabar relations to marry her? I got so angry so i raped the hell out of her that day. She almost fainted, though i felt bad afterwards.

So this morning, we were set for church. I wanted to kiss her and just touch her a little because she was looking beautiful. She started that stubbornness again. She pushed me away like trash so i showed her I'm more powerful by having sex with her and she said she wasn't going to church anymore.

I brought something else for her to wear she refused and i remember she does anything i want her to do while having sex with her so i gave her another round and she ran out to the car. I thought she has left for church but no. So, this is what i have been passing through."

My pastor wife was first to comment. She said "What!!! Did you do all that i heard?"

I said, "No ma, he is not saying it the way it is. He raped me."

So they started asking the questions one after the other. ''Did you bath only you on your wedding night?''

My husband jumps in. "Ask her if she ever bath with me together since we were married!"

At that point, i felt like asking him to stop talking. My pastor said, "how old are you again? In case i have forgotten". i said "26, sir".

He said "Why na.. why, did you not read? But you are learned na. Why did you have to do all of these?"

The pastor turns to the wife and said, "mummy, did you not put her through counselling?"

They all started blaming me and apologizing to my husband. My pastor's wife had a one on one with me. They asked me to kneel to beg him.

They ask me to dress up lets go to church, it was suppose to be our thanksgiving sunday. I told them, "i wont be able to go as my eyes was already red". In my mind I'd rather sit and start thinking of how i can satisfy this man.

As advised, i bath with him last night, as expected he had sex with me in the bathroom, i felt like fainting but i kept quiet this time. I bear it like its a price i have to pay.

We had sex 3 times before the night was over. Now he is happy.

HONESTLY IF I KNEW THIS IS WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE JUST STAYED IN MY MOTHER'S HOUSE. THEY DID NOT PURSUE ME OUT

YOU ARE A VERY USELESS THING, HOPEFULLY HE SHOOT YOUR BUTT THE NEXT TIME HE 'RAPES' YOU

Blesie Seriously, You've ur share of the blame;
1. I understand that you're a virgin before you got married and it is normal for you to be afraid of sex but at the same time, YOU MUST HAVE SEX.
2. Little things matter, try to be ROMANTIC a little, a kiss on a sunday morning wouldn't hurt you.
3. You married the BEST MAN, it's just that with time you will get to adapt to having sex and you will be the one begging for it.
My main point is socialize more, meet young successful married ladies and ask them how to satisfy your man. If you OPEN UP to him, you wont feel hurt and as time goes on the pains will leave. My dear, some ladies are out there in need of HUSBANDS. Dont even think about divorce cos you will keep divorcing.
#My 5ive Cents
Note: For those who are sharpening their e-arrows, e-cutlasses and e-axes in other to attack, pls remember "i am entitled to my opinions"

@OP

You don't prepare in marriage, you prepare before marriage.

Too sad you neglected many things before marriage.


Bear your cross. Follow your heart.

I don't tink u even understnd ur husband cos women av one tin dat is called deceit y can't u tame him?well am nt suprised u can't since u deny him of every romantic right for gud 3 years nd u re still acting funny after marriage u need gud orientation about marriage cos dis guy wasn't raping u he was jst aving pleasure of wat he deserves u were d one making it to b a torture for u by tinkn otherwise and calling it a rape.am xure u avnt even gvn d poor dude a peck or kiss wtout him asking of it since u got married.he saw dat violent sex is d best way to tame u bt instead u av still not understood ur husband.

tintingz:

His intention might not be to rape her but the wife sees it as rape.

He even said he bought her a car because he met her a virgin and he felt guilty for his action.

The wife at least should adjust and make things work from there.

From the post did you see where the hubby didn't show affection?

From her words I can see the wife is not the one not loving her hubby, no affection, no romance to spice up the marriage instead she was behaving like a log of wood with no sexual feelings.

Why not tell the woman who is behaving like a wood.

She didn't love her hubby or ready for sex, why did she accept to marry him.

A woman who is not too exposed in the s.ex department needs teaching and patience for goodness sake and not rape!!! Haba!! why did he marry her in the first place to punish her cant you see he is punishing her? thats the reason for the marriage. S.ex is supposed to be special between a couple not a chore. he has turned it to a chore. Is he enjoying it now? Is that how you hope to treat your own wife because she didnt want s.ex while dating?

People don't seem to understand there is a difference between having sex, making love and fuc..king. Whatever the case, a husband is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.

How can a man forcefully have sex with his wife? Sex is to be enjoyed by both parties. It is not a tool to gratify a man's lust. Even when a woman is not in the mood, there is a way a real husband can work the wife into the mood. It is not a spontaneous thing. You have to start the job hours before then.

As a rule, I make sure I give my wife at least 2 orgasms before mine, then give her one more. I had to learn this. You can't just pounce on your wife and pound away expecting her to switch herself on and off like a light. Women are not like us. All it takes to get hard is for a man to look at a woman with good specs. Women are not wired that way. A man must learn to use words and pre-intimacy to turn a woman on before mounting her. It is not done by force.

victorazy:


U sure say u read the wrightups before provoking?
This is not a punishment! The lady never loved the guy ones and the zeal in her will never show, she married the guy bcuz of moni. Why the pastor and wife didn't side her?

How did you know she married because of money? were you there with her? come, has it become a bad thing to practise no s.ex before marriage? if a lady is treating you somehow, why dnt you quit? is it by force to marry? So the way he is raping her is good?

Men and their disgusting antics. I just wonder Y they see sex as a tool or a food that need to be used to quench hunger.

A so-called husband can rape his wife. Is it now wrong for a Lady to refuse sex with her fiancée prior to marriage. So, if he took care of her financially. At least she married him. He wants to take revenge on her by automatically satisfying his sexual perversion which he felt was denied 3yrs. Y is virginity viewed as a taboo? So wen a girl is fierce and straightforward and raw with life, every guy feel she's a LovePeddler or had played runs before.

Y can't one person or people in dis generation just believe that in every 10, there can be abt 4 or 5 who are decent. I don't like it wen someone give advice that a lady shd av sex with her fiancée b4 marriage. U people see it as ancient or archaic, but that is MORALITY/SANITY. May God av mercy on this generation. God help me if my man waits before marriage, if he waits and then forces himself on me. God know say I go use am do experiment. Don't ask me how. But as far as am concerned, stop abusing women who decided not to join wat others are doing and feel she had no opportunity. Sorry to say, d last sentence of Y she married but would av remained single comes to mind sometimes. God av mercy!

Sophyrocks:


Why must a man rape his wife simply because she held to the No s.ex rule and other funny characters? why did he marry her if he didnt love her but had ulterior motives? He must be a beast!! Marriage isnt by force. You dnt lke how a lady treats you then QUIT!! Now that he has turned to a rapist, is he enjoying the marriage now? Nonsense!!

What do I know

pweetixandy:
lol..dnt u think u sound dumb making assumptions about somone u dnt know,dumb to me tho .divorce is there na,ehn..kerewa or leave him. O tan!

& I guess u're feeling like a wise ol maid 4 suggesting she joins ur cocoon of single & boring life through divorce. LWKMD..!!!!

treasuress:
he bought her a car you did not read the thread,

After the marriage not when they were dating as you claimed she 'ate' his yeye money.

how many minute does it take, for a pe.nis to get erect after first round of sex? i don't trust this girl and the story.

phabulous88:


Is that what you call rape?? You rape a girl and she can still walk, let alone drive? Wait until those boys under Ojuelegba bridge handles her, if she no get K leg ehh, make I no...

As far as I'm concerned, the husband didn't rape her. He only entered the place when she wasn't well lubricated. Remember her first story where he did the same thing, she called it rape, held him closer and later confirmed that she enjoyed it. Is that rape?

Besides, if 'rape' is what she needs to go to church and agree to do the right thing, then my sister, me personally approve of the 'raping'.

Op is just immature; loose yourself girl, he's's your husband. If you give him regular bleeps, I'm sure he's not gonna forcefully enter you any day you tell him to chill.

Sorry o. I disagree with you completely and i still stand by what i said. Once a man forcefully has s.exual intercourse against the will of a woman and abuses s.ex against her will too, it is rape o. Husband or no husband. Bible sef no support that kind thing. The actions of her husband clearly shows he married her for one reason and one reason only: TO PUNISH HER. So Op, save yourself from that beast now!! That marriage is not based on love. he married you with a wrong mentality.

All I can say is that you married this man so you will have a husband.....

Reason why I don't mess with virgins anymore

andromida:


O.k i am trying to understand. After all said and done are they married or not so all the shakara ended in his house on his bed why is he feeling used? He could have walked away when he lost respect for her why did he marry her to teach her a lesson so raping her will make him feel good. This man is mentally ill.

Nne lets just watch, there is little or nothing we can do about it.

dechandel:
O Lord of mercy
You married a Dog
Better kill that man before he kills you

Seriously.. Get a divorce

@op, these fools advicing you have been trying to get married all their lives without any luck... why should divorce be the only solution to marital problem?... the cure for headache is not cutting it off na...

sorry 4 all u went tru,how com he did not know u were a virgin? Pls don't leave him,things wil be normal in no time. Ur marriage is blessed. Read christian books on marriage n things wil fall into place.

Holy heavens! Aww what sort of man does this? I don't think he has the need for a wife afterall they are lot of sluts out there. Chai This is so terribe and dehumanising.

yaskarahyelhope:
Men and their disgusting antics. I just wonder Y they see sex as a tool or a food that need to be used to quench hunger.

A so-called husband can rape his wife. Is it now wrong for a Lady to refuse sex with her fiancée prior to marriage. So, if he took care of her financially. At least she married him. He wants to take revenge on her by automatically satisfying his sexual perversion which he felt was denied 3yrs. Y is virginity viewed as a taboo? So wen a girl is fierce and straightforward and raw with life, every guy feel she's a LovePeddler or had played runs before.

Y can't one person or people in dis generation just believe that in every 10, there can be abt 4 or 5 who are decent. I don't like it wen someone give advice that a lady shd av sex with her fiancée b4 marriage. U people see it as ancient or archaic, but that is MORALITY/SANITY. May God av mercy on this generation. God help me if my man waits before marriage, if he waits and then forces himself on me. God know say I go use am do experiment. Don't ask me how. But as far as am concerned, stop abusing women who decided not to join wat others are doing and feel she had no opportunity. Sorry to say, d last sentence of Y she married but would av remained single comes to mind sometimes. God av mercy!

Ogbeni shut up!
She had a car immediately after marriage. Why can't he have a good f*ck?

Ishilove:

First off, Eyop darling, na who be that man wey wan use jabulani terrorise me? Dem nefa born am. Me sef go use punnany torment am. In his next life he go see punny run

Secondly, there are two sides to every story. The lady is painting the man as a beast, but I'm sure she haas her own faults. They both need counselling. Like seriously.

Okay madam

the day ur husband stops bothering you about sex and makes u as happy as ever.....just know he has found anoda PUSY DAT CAN ACCOMMODATE HIS COCK...ANYTIME ANY DAY....SO. ....DEAL WITH IT!!!good luck..

so long a letter

RedBenson:


Term it whatever pleases you but do you know that there's a difference between having sex and having sex with that special woman you love? Let me briefly expose you on this. If a man truly likes a woman, even if he f*cks thousands of girls, believe me he'll still feeling unsatisfied because his mind is on the particular woman/pusssy he likes. In other words, even though in might've been having random sex with other ladies, it didnt mean anything to him. All he was doing was to "sharpen the dicck" (laughing) in readiness to this special pusssy and yet, when the special pusssy finally comes, it wants to be a disappointment to him. If it were you, what would you do? The man never raped her. Let's not take that way. Like i earlier pointed out, let the woman change her mindset/orientation and things will get normalized.

Its the man that needs to change his mindset, how do u enjoy sex when your wife is crying?,
you need to be patient with her, try to convince her, take it slowly and with time she will catch up,
No be to dey play King of the jungle for inside bedroom

cococandy:
Most nairalanders are confused ppl.
How did she use the man?
Did she force the man to spend money on her while they were dating?
He could have refused to spend his money on her since he didn't owe her anything at that time.

So saying no sex before marriage is now an evil thing? Does a lady owe her body to a man who's not her husband? Pls tell me again how she punished him.


One day y'all are clamoring for Virgins,the next day you're calling those who insisted on not having sex before marriage users and wicked people.
The man knowing that she's a novice should have had some patience with her and guide her gently into the art of love making so that it will be a beautiful experience for both of them.

Now he's coming with the "you punished me by keeping your virginity until marriage,so it is my turn to punish you" mentality.

And some on this thread see nothing wrong with such a sick mindset.even if this story is a lie, it is disturbing that some people think the man is acting right.



Pukes*

Now she is his wife, what's ishe gona do? NOTHING than to undergo sextherapy exercise "better "better for worse" .

hungryboy:
Its the man that needs to change his mindset, how do u enjoy sex when your wife is crying?,
you need to be patient with her, try to convince her, take it slowly and with time she will catch up,
No be to dey play King of the jungle for inside bedroom

Can't you deduce that the wife deceived him to thinking that she is the out going type. And I'm sure she had assured him that she would give him the best sex. Besides, he was rich. And on wedding night she came out of the bathroom dressed up?
Op is a scammer

How can people be calling the man an insane man

What people don't understand is in life there are people who naturally don't love sex; such men are called eunochs, dunno what such women are called, and its an abomination for such people to marry, including this op.

Its forbidden for a eunoch to marry because he will only torment and frustrate the life of a woman he marries. Same way with women who hates sex.

But unfortunately, many women are selfish- they don't want to engage in sex before marriage, but they want to have a boyfriend who takes them out, buy them gifts, showers them with love, which is where I have issue with women- their selfishness!

If you know u hate sex and don't want to have have pre-marital sex, pls don't go into any relationship, simple!

And if u know u hate sex and don't want to have unconditional intimacy with a man, why then must u marry

This lady has psychological issues not the husband; so people should be realistic and stop making the husband seem like the guilty one here when actually it is the op that's completely at fault! Her abstinence from sex for 26 years has affected her mentally, and she needs to go to a psychiatric clinic for treatment or quit the marriage in peace for a worthy woman to come in.

Her husband is a wonderful man because no other man can condone this psycho woman as a girlfriend talkless of as a wife! You maltreated this guy in many ways during courtiship and still carried your psycho character into marriage and u don't feel odd about it You seriously need village type of mental treatment whereby they will be flogging u hard with sticks daily!!

You want to go to heaven but u don't want to die You want to answer married lady but u don't want to be a wife; aren't you insane And reading some psychos like you supporting your mentally derailed attitude makes it more scary cos it means we have more pyschos nowadays

Pls do come back and share more stories of how he raped u more and finally dumped you!!! Nansense!!!

With the silly comments. I'm still seeing here, its so obvious that some people's brain needs re-activation or a hard reset.
Chaiii!!!!. I now see the main reason why so many rich guys are running away from marriage. Atimes, I do ask myself. If niggas who are poor are seeing finances as an excuse to get married. What about the rich dudes?. It was than I realized that so many women are just too dumb and stupid to walk down the aisle with.
From her first story. She never loved this dude, and yet, the poor guy never gave up. She and her friends turned him to a eatery and cinema maga and yet, he never gave up. She raised her shoulder so high for good 3 years and always wanting things to be done in her own way and yet, this dude never gave up. He married her and found out she is a virgin and this same dude went to a car shop to buy a car for her.
And the best thing that some homeless, ghetto, stupid girls can utter is that "he doesn't love the girl in the first place".
Now answer me. How many of you can date a guy you never stepped on his kobo for good 3 years?.
How many of you can see a future in a guy that doesn't buy anytin for you for 3 years?.
And now, you still expect the same guy to still go on his kneels and be begging for sex after he has done the necessary marital rights.

With this few comments I saw above. I'm just convinced on why so many ladies run to idanre hill and ayo babalola mountain to start shouting at the top of their voices begging God for a husband at 35. SMH.
I don't know why naija ladies will always see sex as a "man's thing" as if he is the only one enjoying it. Is it now a crime for a wife to give sex freely without been forced or compelled upon?.
Mtcheeeeeeew. Spits on the threads and the smellos ladies above me spewing trash like silencer. Idiotas

And these same men open one thousand threads bashing ladies, calling them sluts, lamenting to the whole world of how ladies are opening their legs, commiting abortions and what not. A lady is practising 'No S.ex' before marriage and all of a sudden she has committed sin!! What is good is now bad and what is bad is good. They are even justifying the rape. Look at them!! when will you people stop being confused? So raping your wife because you did this and that for her is the best? How many men out there have done even done more for their women and yet they didnt make noise and rape them? What about those men? Have they died? If a your wife is a learner, cant you teach her and be patient? Why rape? that one na marriage?