Rolling on the floor omg! How did I miss this??!

drnairalov:
I do pray

----------------------
My wife scored a free Kick against me with Mikel OBI while playing FIFA 13...

i broke up with her...aint no way she learnt how to do that if she wasnt taken lessons from another man *sadface

Thinking of leaving this forum but with this, I don't think I will ever leave.


Seriously, I laugh that I was on the floor.


Nairalander are indeed sick in the head.



And I love that.

EfemenaXY:


And what if both families ridicule him? Not many of them are that enlightened and know virtually nothing about domestic violence against the menfolk.

If anything, they'll most likely make fun of him and call him a woman wrapper who needs to beat some sense into the crazy wife.

Coz they knw what is proper!

Edusouls:
hahahaha how old are you? you re still a very young man, you never jam, and your type may even fall inluv so deeply to a woman that when she starts abusing you, you will be so harmless that you just beg and plead.., you never go deep into women, when you do, u now undestand how powerful women are..

you don't know me, bro. I am 34 and just got married. Trust me, i know the stuff i am made of. #madeofblack #madeofnoemotion

Kingexcellence:

I'll rather you say 'always beg every woman, even if you are right'. That makes you strong and keeps you at your rightful position. Every woman respect such person, she may try avoid showing it to cover her weakness though. #dont allow some 'inexperienced' bachelors on NL to ruin your home. The quality of the internal workings of your home depends on how well you can manage it. Every woman has a problem, the nature only vary with individuals. Your wife is yours, a part of you. Will anyone cut the nose away because of running oozes?
+I am still a bachelor though

You and the OP are kindred spirits. You will learn the hard way.

For you to be abused by your wife it means that you have already lost your position as the man of the house.

To be her crown is more than money. U must be wise and discipline. U must be a complete man. If your five is calling you baby, that's what you are to her. She slaps you because u are not her head but her baby. Be a real man.

To all those ranting nonsense here, tell the op to give you his address and you can help fight with his wife.. Most of you people wash your gf's panties and face worse abuse than this, and you come here claiming superman! Let God be judge!

To all those ranting nonsense here, tell the op to give you his address and you can help fight with his wife.. Most of you people wash your gf's panties and face worse abuse than this, and you come here claiming superman! Let God be the judge!

Edusouls:
men's abuse to women is mainly shouting on the woman and at worst beating her up.,and this is done to correct some ill behaviours from her.but women's abuse, extreme nagging, damaging lies,poisining the mind of those that likes you, and at worst that of your own kids turning them against you, when you meet hardship instead of comforting you they add misery on top, unsatiable demands, unprovoked verbal attacks, soul killing insalts,she remembers for you many better suitors that would have married her instead of a nobody like you, appreciates nothing u do no matter what,it eats up the man like cancer until he dies slowly without bleeding, thats why most of the untimely death we hear today are men, when women start they dont stop until you divorce her, run or endure and eventualy die a miserable death..

Wow

Bro, r u married?

I will hold her tight and take her to the bedroom, give her a hot bleeping, then she will calm down and we discuss the issue in bed. This works for me well.

folawiyoma:












Thinking of leaving this forum but with this, I don't think I will ever leave.


Seriously, I laugh that I was on the floor.


Nairalander are indeed sick in the head.



And I love that.

lol

I think d way u excuse urself is beta but if dat does nt stop it, is just to leave d house and allow her to calm down then later settle ur differences in godly and mature way just like my house does sometimes.

kazlaw2000:

You are a very patient person. Kudos. I may not be able to withstand such brazeness from my wife. I would be firm but stop short of raising my hands on her. But i would let her know i wouldnt stand for such rascality. But going to the extent of locking yourself in a room to escape? Nah. Thats too weak.

Itz not weakness but maturity.
Two wrongs can never make a right. He did not run away from the situation but he used wisdom. Imagine what would have happened?!!
Look at them now, they resolved it peacefully.
Kudos to u bro

Sorry to say poster, you sound like a typical abuse victim. Excusing your abuser, justifying their actions and using love as a reaosn for their actions.

You come home tired and stressed, even when you don't talk the sensible reaction is to ensure you are fine find out why you are late and try to make you comfortable not jump sorry sky rocket into conclusion and start biting hitting and slapping.

Am sorry your wife needs help. She will do it again. Tomorrow you may give your colleague a ride and she will see you and be home waiting with hot water.
Forget shame and ego, either handle this now or live satisfying her insecurities.

@ruuudboy I commend you for this action. You wife over reacted and you went to a very extreme to achieve peace. Silent treatment annoys me so much too,just like you wife. I like discussing things esp when i feel so frustrated. However talk to you wife about her reaction. She need serious anger management class.I slapped my boyfriend(now husband) once because he was cheating on me. I was so angry when i found out and told him not to touch me instead he grabbed me and the slap followed. He left and we settled the next day. It was a bad incident for us. Now i have learnt some anger management tips.

SirShymex:

There was no way I would've kicked her out like that. The madness and serious arguments started after we were like a year and half deep into it. And most times, it was always my fault, and I'm the type of guy that never shy away from taking responsibilities. I was in Uni back then, on the YOLO wave - wild and living the life. It was a case of consciously/subconsciously taking the piss, cos I had her on lock - and I knew she wasn't going anywhere. All she wanted was more attention, and for me to grow with her cos I was all she cared about. But when you're in a space where there's so much fun around, with a gang of friends who just wanted to ride the wave with you. It's basically difficult to do that. But I understood where she was coming from. Hence I had to hang in there, and soak up all her emotional/temper tantrums. Also, we kind of grew up together, and she gave me 110% (also a rider) - the type you don't meet everyday. So, there was no way I would've kicked her out. The ball was in my court to change/grow.

Wow, shame you don't believe in equality. It is not everyday we come across men who accept responsibility and fault. Great respect for you.

SirShymex:

Anyway, as for the thread/topic - I think communication/counselling can do wonders. When it comes to domestic violence, if those involved aren't naturally violent/disrespectful. And it's something within the relationship that's acting as a catalyst/trigger for it, couples need to drop their egos, and talk about it. A change in approach might just be the spark needed to solve the problem. Walking away isn't always the answer, especially when you have invested so much in the relationship. Some people just don't know how to handle their emotions, and once you can understand that - you might need to change ya approach/rules-of-engagement with them. And shoulder punch isn't a bad idea, if it can temporarily make the abusive partner disengage for a short period - pending when everything would be defused lol. However, when weapons start getting involved - run for ya life!!!

Communication and counselling can do wonders only if the abuser is ready to communicate or go for counselling. From experience, the best most abusers do is say am sorry. I agree with you on the catalyst point that the couple should work on it. As for ego, we both know the gender that takes their ego very seriously and yes it should be dropped.Walking away is not always the answer but sadly, sometimes it's the best decision. Sirshymex, if an abuser makes a decision to stop and starts doing something about it like going for anger management class or counselling then it is worth giving them a benefit of the doubt but if they do nothing about it or makes excuses about why they abuse you, then it's probably best to walk away or at least separate temporarily. As for the shoulder punch, it may work when the abuser is a woman because if its a man, that might just be you sentencing yourself to death.

SirShymex:

The only problem I've with women is that: they make domestic violence seem like it's a male thing. When that isn't the case. Women can be abusive/violent as well - and most times, they also provoke the violence.

Lol That's not the only problem you have with women (at least in nairaland). Remember the f- word.

You have betrayed your mission as a man and the head of the home.
Respect has to be commanded even in love two people are pulling on opposite sides of the rope. If you pull too hard you floor your partner but if you allow yourself to be pulled you crash on the floor! You just crashed.

You better take a drastic measure because in a few years your children will start abusing you and even beat you up when you have an issue with their mother. I have seen a few families like that it is absolutely disgusting. Kids beating up their dad and then going on to have screwed up marriages themselves.

You would be enabling your kids to disrespect and beat you up. Yes you may be able to choke it but the children will incur the wrath of God on themselves.

In a marriage you have to think about what happens in the future.
So take a consequent action- if you have forgiven her now make sure you let her know that it can never happen again.

Amhappy:
@ruuudboy I commend you for this action. You wife over reacted and you went to a very extreme to achieve peace. Silent treatment annoys me so much too,just like you wife. I like discussing things esp when i feel so frustrated. However talk to you wife about her reaction. She need serious anger management class.I slapped my boyfriend(now husband) once because he was cheating on me. I was so angry when i found out and told him not to touch me instead he grabbed me and the slap followed. He left and we settled the next day.

I bet your husband is still cheating
Peeps like you love the make up sex
Good luck with your slapping adventure

OP,
As a married man, I'll advise you not to take all you read here hook, line and sinker, sieve through, pick the few that suites the modus operandi of your home and go with it, no one knows your wife/home better than you and most of the people you are reading here are either not married or do not have a clue on how to raise a peaceful home so if keeping quiet or begging her make your peaceful, by all means, go for it while exploring options to avoid repeat occurrence.

Topic,
My wife does not like open confrontation, she prefers writing/pouring her feelings in notes, sms or mail this I found not funny at first but we found a way of striking a balance, now when we have mis-understanding, we trash it out via talks, sms, notes and we make up the best way ever!.
So OP,
Not getting physical even in the face of provocation is a sign of maturity but please sit your wife down and tell her in clear terms that you'll no longer condone that attitude, make her understand that it emasculates which might push you to do things you don't want to and also let her see the danger in allowing your children grow up seeing that kind of scenerio play out in the house.

sexybash:




I bet your husband is still cheating
Peeps like you love the make up sex
Good luck with your slapping adventure

Nne you know nothing about me and cannot bet on anything. Pls face the post. Yes i love the make up sex,i'm sure you do too. Who doesnt?

Laeroy:
Being married for a month now....There's not been any abuse of whatever kind....so imma say God reigns in my house....HALLALUYAH.....

Ur marriage is 1month, OP's is 4 years!! What's the basis of comparison?

God reigns in ur house becos there hasnt been any abuse, u're indirectly saying God doesn't reign in the OP's house!!

1month in marriage, u're still in honeymoon phase my dear & u ain't seen nothing

19naia:
Ehn? I touch myself also when she slaps me and gets heated over me, i grab her hand and smell it so sweet and tell her to put more on me so she can hear me scream for her... Ooh it so turns me on and i get eager for more until finally we off the lights and under cover to settle the matter in final full contact engagement, no prisoners and no surrender until all agression has been expended with nothng left to spare... Sometimes there must be a round two just to be sure the matter has been properly settled, because some matters are stubborn to settle...

Enjoy life and who you have in whatever way you can...

not all lady will let you fu*ck under this tense situation if some women r provoked my broda u will not think of above long written poem

coogar:


......or he's a weak man.

No, he's not weak.

babygirlfl:


Wow, shame you don't believe in equality. It is not everyday we come across men who accept responsibility and fault. Great respect for you.

Communication and counselling can do wonders only if the abuser is ready to communicate or go for counselling. From experience, the best most abusers do is say am sorry. I agree with you on the catalyst point that the couple should work on it. As for ego, we both know the gender that takes their ego very seriously and yes it should be dropped.Walking away is not always the answer but sadly, sometimes it's the best decision. Sirshymex, if an abuser makes a decision to stop and starts doing something about it like going for anger management class or counselling then it is worth giving them a benefit of the doubt but if they do nothing about it or makes excuses about why they abuse you, then it's probably best to walk away or at least separate temporarily. As for the shoulder punch, it may work when the abuser is a woman because if its a man, that might just be you sentencing yourself to death.

Lol That's not the only problem you have with women (at least in nairaland). Remember the f- word.

Erm, let me just say my case was different cos I never got slapped (lol) and it wasn't something utterly disrespectful. Just hawkish shouting matches, that sometimes get physical due to emotional outbursts. No one is allowed is slap my face except my parents. And the ricochet effect of a slap to my face is a straight punch to the jaw - reflex action looool.

Anyway, in life, you have to always accept responsibilities for your actions. That's what pops taught me. Whenever there's a problem - just make sure analyse it critically with the hawk-eye. See where you're wrong, learn from it, and look for ways to change it. However, though I knew my actions were the primarily induced the emotional outbursts. But I was unwilling to change cos the space I was in, was a little window of opportunity to explore an experience that won't be there forever. So, I had to ride the wave - and soak up whatever she threw at me. And she wasn't even a threat to me...just someone weaker than you trying to tell you to listen to her. Moreover, when I finally got bored and changed - she stopped. I provoked the abuse, and accepted responsibilities - that's what most women who provoke domestic violence also need to start doing.

Err, I don't support the equality feminism preaches. If it were just about equal pay and other things that women can compete effectively with men, based on the same body of work - fair enough. However, when you start touting equality where you can't compete, just to make up the number - that's unacceptable and akin to superiority complex. The world is a competitive place, and you have go out there and compete, and not demand everything on a platter of gold. Thus making the whole system anti-men. Look at tennis for example, women don't play the same number of games as men, yet they want the same money - is that not madness? Then you look at fields like Engineering, technical aspects of IT, Surveying, etc. that men dominate probably with a ratio of 100:1. Yet they want equality in those fields - and lord over men. How's that possible? Heck, even people from the same family, raised the same way aren't equal. And solving class problems is still a myth. So, equality will always be a pipe-dream.

Well, if someone can be humble enough to apologise and say, "sorry" - then I don't think such a person would be averse to communication/counselling. You just have to look for the right time/place to do it. Walking away from something that isn't a threat to your life, isn't always the best option. Okay, you walk away from that, without necessarily finding out what's wrong and if you're the problem. Move to the next person, and it's still the same way - then what? Are you going to keep walking out on everyone? Quick fix is most times never the solution. Yes, it does work sometimes in isolated cases - but it's never going to work for everyone. Sometimes, you just have to ride it out, and find a solution somewhere/somehow. Ol'boy just needs to talk to his wife, and try to see where he's wrong, as long as the woman isn't trying to dominate him - apart from the emotional outbursts. I honestly don't like when folks try to influence people to destroy their relationships. They're the two parties involved and they both need to do some soul searching; see where they're at fault; take responsibilities; and look for ways to get help/solutions.


Lol, I don't have a problem with women. I only have problems with biiitches and feminazis - peep the difference. I love and adore women.

Opiosko:
Mitcheww! Why did u report her? All the good u did by not laying a finger on her has been undone..... U want to hear "She was in the wrong"... Yeye!

so what should he have done? suffer in silence?!!
you're right, he should have just kept it to himself and let it fester until one day he goes to sleep and some crazy woman (op not your wife please) cuts off his privates.

[quote author=Amhappy post=28870498]

Nne you know nothing about me and cannot bet on anything. Pls face the post. Yes i love the make up sex,i'm sure you do too. Who doesnt?[/quote
TERRORIST
am Running cos the anti Christ is coming

believe me, women are like kids. she will surely do the same.
in my own house, i reciprocate whatever my wife do, good or bad.
the great truth here is that, women need iron hand like kids.
as you did in your house, that made you a man. just because you were able to handle the situation. ([that make a man)

SirShymex:


Well, if someone can be humble enough to apologise and say, "sorry" - then I don't think such a person would be averse to communication/counselling. You just have to look for the right time/place to do it. Walking away from something that isn't a threat to your life, isn't always the best option. Okay, you walk away from that, without necessarily finding out what's wrong and if you're the problem. Move to the next person, and it's still the same way - then what? Are you going to keep walking out on everyone? Quick fix is most times never the solution. Yes, it does work sometimes in isolated cases - but it's never going to work for everyone. Sometimes, you just have to ride it out, and find a solution somewhere/somehow. Ol'boy just needs to talk to his wife, and try to see where he's wrong, as long as the woman isn't trying to dominate him - apart from the emotional outbursts. I honestly don't like when folks try to influence people to destroy their relationships. They're the two parties involved and they both need to do some soul searching; see where they're at fault; take responsibilities; and look for ways to get help/solutions.

Domestic violence is a threat to life. Most people don't just leave an abusive partner after the first incidence. it's mostly after they have tried everything and the abuse still continues. I was not trying to advice the op. I was replying to your post.

SirShymex:

Lol, I don't have a problem with women. I only have problems with biiitches and feminazis - peep the difference. I love and adore women.

ok

babygirlfl:


Domestic violence is a threat to life. Most people don't just leave an abusive partner after the first incidence. it's mostly after they have tried everything and the abuse still continues. I was not trying to advice the op. I was replying to your post.

ok

I will just say I don't like the slapping bit cos it is utterly disrespectful to slap someone. So he might need to warn her about hitting her back the next time she tries it. Or probably smack her harder, just to make her feel the pain of her action. And do the same every time she tries it. The scratching:pushing bit isn't that serious - most women do that when they get emotional.

Also, as long as he still has his balls intact, and she isn't trying to dominate him. They both just need to find a common ground somewhere and seek professional help.

There is no perfect relationship/marriage, just as there is no perfect human being. Fights/disagreements/arguments are always going to happen. And how you deal with them is what is going make it stand the test of time. It is a learning process, and you grow in it, you learn. Domestic abuse can either be physical and/or emotional. And it happens in all relationships. But the severity varies. So, as long as it isn't that serious and not the slightest threat to ya life. You just have to look inwards and find solutions.

No one is beating anyone to a pulp in this case, neither is anyone threatening to harm the other person. It is basically just emotional outbursts induced by shouting matches and the woman trying to make him listen in a dumb way. Walking out on that would be dumb in my opinion. Just man up and handle your business. Men don't run from battles.

ruuudboy:
We have always heard about husband abusing their wives. How is it always like, the other way round? I have never laid my hand on any lady before not to talk of my wife and i don't think i can do such.

As a husband how do you handle it if your wife lay her hand on you either by slapping,punching,biting or rough handling? As a wife, how did your husband handle the situation?

I have been married to my wife going to 4yrs now and yesterday was the second time we had misunderstanding that led to serious confrontation.....Initially when it all started around 9pm, i kept quiet and didnt respond to her ranting. When she realized i wasn't responding, she moved close to me, started punching me, bit me and somehow slapped me in the process with serious ranting "you'll kill me today."

I tried as much as not to retaliate and removed myself from her, ran to the visitors room and locked myself in there....she continued talking and started hitting the door with a stick, after which i realized that with the way things are going, neighbours on the next flat might want to come and asked what was wrong, which i do much detest.

I started begging her from inside after which she calmed down and i opened the door.....we talked it through till late in d night and settled our differences which she later apologised for raising her hand on me and promised never to do that again no matter what happened.

The issue now is, i put myself in another man's shoe that how do people handle things like this in marriage as a husband?

As a wife, how did your husband handle issues of misunderstanding? The first thing that came to my mind yesterday when she hit me was the word of my boss who always say, AT THE HIGHEST POINT OF PROVOCATION, ALWAYS EXERCISE CAUTION.

Married peeps, how do u handle this?

My guy, you just opened the doors to more abuse. She will do it again. Pray this time she doesn't use a weapon on you. She is a violent person, don't delude yourself into thinking it will not happen again, because it will definitely happen. Forget about the opinion ladies and sissies will give here commending you for your patience, all nah wash. You are the one who is going to be suffering it, not them. Their complements will only massage your ego, but not solve the problem. Remove the monkey's hand from the pot of soup before it becomes a human hand. Wake her up from sleep one midnight and warn her sternly about a reccurrence, when she sees your blood-shot eyes and mean demeanor, she will comply.

Women are like babies, if you allow them to bully you, it becomes a cycle. I am very nice by nature, but she has to know that there is a propensity to be really, really mean.
My guy, don't get played for a sucker to avoid stories that touch...

Hope u guys had make up sex o

A woman slapped o din din bale ile? Haa! That marriage needs counselling.There's something seriously wrong with that woman ooo... seek help or move on! My brother,don't encourage that animalistic behaviour.