dinachi:
Where are the feminists who will not allow us hear word ? The time has come to fight for equality and speak against the paying of bride price. You are right! You won't see them here. They are fake and retarded. Back to topic. Until bride price and buying of gifts are totally abolished, the e-fights here in support of feminism by a few female clowns remain but a dream!

coogar:

i like the brideprice culture - men must prove themselves worthy enough to cop a wife. i hate that the traditional wrestling culture to get a wife has been abolished. imagine what it would have been to compete against aki or pawpaw for genevieve.

bamidele029:
Where I come from it's already been scraped, the grooms family gives gifts and the brides family equally gives gifts back but no money is collected. The reason is we believe that daughters are not goods to be sold, I know of other towns in my tribe who do the same . Even when funding the wedding, both families contribute. I think the change came about because the women asked for it to be stopped , any little argument and the man will be talking about how he paid so and so for her no more of that, all anyone is interested it that you look after their child. I will follow the same part, I don't need your money just prove to me that you love my daughter

bamidele029:
Where I come from it's already been scraped, the grooms family gives gifts and the brides family equally gives gifts back but no money is collected. The reason is we believe that daughters are not goods to be sold, I know of other towns in my tribe who do the same . Even when funding the wedding, both families contribute. I think the change came about because the women asked for it to be stopped , any little argument and the man will be talking about how he paid so and so for her no more of that, all anyone is interested it that you look after their child. I will follow the same part, I don't need your money just prove to me that you love my daughter

aisha2:

There are better ways to prove you can cope with a wife. Whats your character? How do you react during disagreements? How do you treat those below your strata. Anyone can borrow money and pay whatever is charged but character is hardly hidden for long

Stillfire:


Igbo women I hope you are hearing.

Chillis:
Nigerian men too like money.

See the way they are selling their daughters all in the name of bride price.
.tufiakwa..

I just read the title, let me go read the content .

coogar:

aisha, i said cop not cope....
the brideprice is a quality assurance test that a man is capable of providing for his wife & kids. what has character gotta do with it? the character test is left for the bride & her family to check. even in yoruba tradition, they do background checks on the family of the groom & so on and forth.
the brideprice culture must remain but it should be checked for frivolous demands that we get to read these days. items like laptops, undies for MIL & blackberry phones are just ridiculous and demeaning.

coogar:


don't cover the truth.
the umuadas are the ones behind this brideprice thingy. it's a festival for them. the men are very flexible with the list - the adas on the other hand are just bent on collecting white marks & spencer's undies from the groom.

coogar:


don't cover the truth.
the umuadas are the ones behind this brideprice thingy. it's a festival for them. the men are very flexible with the list - the adas on the other hand are just bent on collecting white marks & spencer's undies from the groom.

bukatyne:

I think the bold is a very major reason for it to be scrapped
It depends on the culture...
My hubby did not pay bride price though a list of stuffs was given to him (gifts really; you do not go to your guests house emptyhanded ) and my family sponsored the reception (engagement & white) (The host must feed his/her guests).
This I understand to be the general culture of the Yorubas; some collect and give back; some do not collect @ all and the bride's family cater for the reception with the husband dropping something (if he likes) depending on his pocket and rapport.
If bride price can be abolished, it would go a very very long way

aisha2:


Like the other poster wrote it was the women in her community who stood up against this practice and got it abolished. It wont scrap itself, we women loose most from it so we should be the ones who should stand up and say we want it scrapped if we do.

Chillis:

Lies!

Umuada take only drinks.
The ummunna come with rediculous lists .
Ranging from schnapps to he-goats.
I pity ladies that looses the ones they loved because of these lists.

Stillfire:

Coogar what do you know about the Umuada?

aisha2:

Any man can borrow, steal and cheat to pay bride price. A man can pay today yet loose his business tomorrow it is no guarantee that he will be able to care for his wife.

I would expect that families will be more concerned about their kids starting a new life and helping them have a head start instead of taking from them

Where am from the brides family makes bed, furniture set and wardrobe, her sibblings buy plates, pots, microwave, fridge, freezer, washing machine etc anything to make their sisters life easier and comfortable because it is believed that a new young couple will need help starting their lives.

I can dig up five stories on nairaland alone where men robbed under the excuse of needing bride price money, in one case the fiancee also helped him steal because she figured she was " helping " her husband.

coogar:

buhahahaha.....
umuadas are the ones that control anything marriage, domestic violence where women are the victims & infidelity when the wives are the offenders.
i wine & dine with these women everyday - i know what they are capable of. they are fierce & intransigent when it comes to the bridal issues. their demands must be met.
as opposed to not having test at all?
in most cases, the family of the groom picks the bill. so all those boys in their mid-20s getting married straight after NYSC are the ones coughing out N1m brideprice? na yam?
which part of nigeria is this?
there would always be few minorities abusing the concept of the bride price - you cannot use that to whip the concept. so because of few plane crashes, we should not use the plane again?

Chillis:


Lies!

Umuada take only drinks.
The ummunna come with rediculous lists .
Ranging from schnapps to he-goats.
I pity ladies that looses the ones they loved because of these lists.

Chillis:


Lies!

Umuada take only drinks.
The ummunna come with rediculous lists .
Ranging from schnapps to he-goats.
I pity ladies that looses the ones they loved because of these lists.

aisha2:

Lol the north; plateau, bauchi, kaduna, gombe etc.

I asked for the benefits still to get any. You said its to prove the ability of the man to care for his family and I said paying bride price is no guarantee he can and will always provide for his family

Kachisbarbie:

Umuadas different o nne.
My own dem dey take everything...lolz

coogar:

thanks for the heads up!
i will be raiding these states in 2015.
it's no guarantee but it's better than having nothing at all to prove ones self. the tradition shouldn't be knocked off because greedy people are abusing it.
hahahaha
chillis - are you reading the above?

bamidele029:
Where I come from it's already been scraped, the grooms family gives gifts and the brides family equally gives gifts back but no money is collected. Some families my collect a symbolic thing like one kobo if they want to retain the cultural aspect . The reason is we believe that daughters are not goods to be sold, I know of other towns in my tribe who do the same . Even when funding the wedding, both families contribute. I think the change came about because the women asked for it to be stopped , any little argument and the man will be talking about how he paid so and so for her no more of that, all anyone is interested it that you look after their child. I will follow the same part, I don't need your money just prove to me that you love my daughter .

crackhaus:

Interesting, the bride's family also give gifts...

Pardon my asking, but where are you from?

moca:
@aisha2, funny enuf I don't know that the north do anything at all as per this marriage rite issue.
In adamawa, they don't pay money but culturally do some things.
There r things one must do.
In rivers, u do something too.
Infact, I found out that some people's culture r worst than what I see in igboland.
Na dem sabi, if them like make them continue buying and selling their shildren.
Yeyelicious cultural practices.

aisha2:


Come oh but only with honorable intentions, our babes can fine plenty but we no dey hear word lol

aisha2:


Adamawa and Taraba have very expensive marriage rites some parts that is, so bad that the churches are now intervening and putting blanket amount for brideprice. Some N50 like ECWA church. The box items they request can get crazy costing almost N500k. But churches and people are fighting against it, afterall thats not the only clothes the man will buy for her all her life.

bamidele029:


I'm from Oyo State