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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. (54080 Views)
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Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by EfemenaXY: 5:04pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Rep042: Your wife hasn't cheated on you, stolen your money, or committed any mortal crime. Your marriage is barely one year old. You made those vows for-better-for-worse. What you're going through is a bumpy phase. You don't just throw in the trowel at the first hurdle. Man up and face your responsibilities and quit trying so hard to force yourself on her. It's not your place to tear down her clothes, butt pads or not, simply because you don't like them. By doing so, you've lowered yourself in her eyes, hence her fighting you back in retaliation. Rather than dwell on the negatives of your marriage, try to see the positives - afterall, you must have seen something in her for you to have married her in the first place. Dwell on the positives and you both should strive to improve upon how you relate to each other. Cut out the third parties and keep your business your business. Goodluck. 21 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Rep042: 5:10pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Thank you all for your contributions, I really appreciate your comments,suggestions and advice. God bless. |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by AdeniyiA(m): 5:12pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time.i do tell people not to be carried away by or enter into debt because of wedding which lasts ,at most, for 3days. You saw a pretty young lady, you got carried away by beauty, you proposed she accepted after a short time of shakara. you are blinded by love(lust) even to her behaviours then because u are clueless about marriage. You prepared only for wedding,not for marriage nd spent all your savings on wedding ceremonies. The reality dawn on you after you entered the real thing... The only advice i can give you is to leave that house until she comes back to her senses 18 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Rep042: 5:25pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
elantraceey:. |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Rosarie(f): 5:30pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
elantraceey:i ve been married for three years .i kno nd understand every word i jst said n for ur info the 80% is just 10% that re truly happy in it.go n read ur bible abt consequence.a gal u ve not had sex wit befr marriage has higher repects cos she feels u re unpredictable.if at all she wants to show her attitude it will b in d second year if am lying d op shiuld say m lying 3 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by rebella(f): 5:33pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
@Op , you and wife deserve each other. Your wife has a crazy caustic mouth on her and you instead of being the voice of reason to a seemingly mad woman decided to join her in her craziness. She wants to wear a buttpad on her body, not yours not your baby, but hers... Ok fine you aren't comfortable with it, what happened to reasoning with her. Even if she refused , remember she's an individual first with her own likes and dislikes before she is your wifen she isn't property your bought off a supermarket shelf. Then you wnet further to exchange blows with your wife just to remove the buttpad. Its not like the buttpad has some crazy harmful effect on either of you. Its just your personal preference you are forcing on her. Much ado about nothing 16 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by dre11(m): 5:36pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Elantraceey have said the whole truth about u seeing these triat in her during courtship and ignoring it Anyway fast forward till today Have you informed her parents about this Have u informed ur God about it Have u look at the proms and con's of being with her till today. Have u any obligations towards her except being married. What value did you place on your life if she did acts accordingly. Have you weight the emotional abuses she gives you daily Have u had a soul searching conversation with her and what was the result Have u left her for some days alone and what was the result Is her situation beyond redemption or.... Do you wanna raise a kid in that kind of situation These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself before you take the next step Because delay might be dangerous 2 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by elantraceey(f): 5:47pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Rosarie: Thank God for your marriage but there are still marriages in which the couple never had sex before marriage yet they still had problems , no marriage is a bed of roses. 24 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 5:50pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
You mean you were tearing each other's clothes on top butt-pad? ![]() ![]() ![]() No be her butt again? ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Montaque(m): 5:53pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Rosarie:see condemnation!!! 5 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Tobiegal(f): 5:54pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
@OP, it's a pity you have such vocal wife. But, like you said its barely a year... Separation isn't really the answer. Would suggest you try to understand what drives her to act the way she does...and why she says what she says... The issue is way beyond her paying for rent? You need to understand that despite been married, we are firstly our own individual...and you need to respect that even if you don't agree. Marriage is all about partnerships...work in progress... If you can't take hold of the situation... Then,... I don't know... And like its usually advises to women...pls prayer for her...above all... Patience is Key. Good luck 1 Like |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Rosarie(f): 5:56pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
rebella:as soon as u get married ur bodies bcome each othersown.in marriage a lotssssss of adjustments comes in.u as a woman dressfor ur d way he likes u.d way he feels turned up wen he sees u cos dress adds to couples sex life.u no longer just dress to suit urself.and a woman shuld b api if a man loves her naturalky dats genuine love.nd u c a wife is d mostly d prayer warrior no mtr hw angry dre re wirds u shuld nva utter cos if d man progress na all of una go njoy am.a woman should kno wen to come dwn wos butt pad.pple who wear it ve low self esteem.some wifey re out dre praying fr deir hubby to love dem d way dey re! and again calling ur family evn if una xchnge blow hahaha i lauf at her.she allowed it to escalate to dat anyway.ur pple will only destroy ur home by coming n den u allow dem talk him dwn!men dnt joke wit their pride so dnt hurt it.n d mumu inlaw nor fit settle dem.na u first get sister!ur sister good na dem punch am!pls b realistic! 9 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by elantraceey(f): 5:58pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Rep042: You adviced her to pray but did you pray for her? You would have made sure she has changed before approaching the altar anyways no need to cry over spilled milk . I have a question for you , do you still want to remain in the marriage and if yes why? |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Rosarie(f): 6:06pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
elantraceey:true |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 6:23pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Oh Lord have mercy! We have heard your part of the story but not hers. Woes on the people with caustic mouths! Na wa o. When you marry your friend, no amount spent on him/her will you feel over stretched for. My advise is ...don't kill yourself because of her, your real loved ones will miss you(family). Good luck 1 Like |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by cococandy(f): 6:25pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
The biggest red flag that should have made you press the pause button was when she started threatening to kill you. Butt pads and insults and all those other things are not even issues that can't be resolved. They are kinda minor compared to the death threats in my opinion. Although it was wrong of you to try force what she was wearing out of her body. See what it resulted in,tearing each other's clothes in front of people. Very embarrassing. You could have spared yourself that shame by disregarding it afterall she was wearing it on her own body. A body you should have distanced yourself from a long time before the butt pad came into the picture. She did start threatening to kill you before that. not so? That's when divorce proceeding should have started. never ever ever I repeat spend a night with someone who has verbally threatened to kill you or has wished you dead. Chei nwoke m you're playing ludo with your life. If you've not already separated from her, then you're too slow for my liking. 14 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 6:29pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Traditional wedding but no rent money . . .upside down priorities. You married a girlfriend . . but are expecting a wife to live with you. Which of her attributes didnt you see before you chose to put a ring on her finger? She propably was wearing butt padd and bra padd before, so whats changed? ![]() A leopard never changes its spots. What made you think that she will change after she becomes Mrs? In the meantime give it a break before your fights become dangerous and you end up strangling each other I dont know how bad her bad attitude is ingrained in her and how if at all, she can change for the better Some girls are not meant to be in anyones home. In the meantime keep safe & give her a wide berth before the devil uses either of you. Its just sad that there is an innocent baby involved. The parents you want to report to are on her side. Please take time out and get your life together. You are responsible for your own happiness and wellbeing. If God forbid you crash your car whilst driving becasue you are distracted or thinking, you are only going to make things worse for yourself. 5 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by cococandy(f): 6:33pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Rep042:it seems you're more concerned about the butt pads that the real issues you have seeing as you dedicate much of your write-ups to that aspect. Maybe if she decides not to wear butt pads again you will take her back? My brother read my lips. Capital no. You have bigger issues at stake and that is your life not the wretched foam pad thing. Even her saying you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant shows deep hatred for you. only you can try to figure out the source of that kind of hatred. But put yourself away from it and make sure you be a good father to your kid. That's all you owe her now. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by coogar: 6:34pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
chaircover: i hope general buhari bans büttpads in nigeria when he wins the election. 13 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 6:37pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
coogar: LOL . . . . . I didnt even know they existed ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by coogar: 6:46pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
chaircover: you don't mean that, do you? ![]() you mean you don't sell that in your many stores. you better start stocking them before it gets banned. ![]() it sells more than ebola sanitisers. ![]() |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 6:53pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
coogar: Dont mind me I feel a bit sorry for men though You dont know what you are getting sometimes . . bra pad, butt pad, mary kay, brazillian, acrylic nails . . . . ![]() serves some of you right though 6 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by plaetton: 6:55pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
ifyalways: Lol. Pardon me sister, but what exactly is 21 days fasting prayer supposed to do in this case, change the woman's dna, her upbringing, or exorcise the an imaginary demon in her? I can bet you that the lady in question also prays for her husband to bend his ways for her benefit too. And report her to her pastor so that he can do what , flog her ? ![]() C'mon people, what la la land do you people live in where you cannot correctly identify and confront head on the common and complex challenges of life without depending on a spiritual/magical bailout ? The Op already knows what he should do. He just needs a little handholding to assure him that he must take that step. 16 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by coogar: 7:00pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
chaircover: feel sorry for the men who don't test-drive. ![]() where would a nakëd woman hide her büttpad? when men start using their common sense, they would stop falling vïctims to this kinda cheap fraud. ![]() büttpad wahala didn't start today - it has been destroying marriages since 1999. ![]() Man Divorces Wife On Wedding Day After Discovering Padded Bumbum.
lol @bolded part. 18 Likes |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 7:07pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Yawns.......another Hollywood,Bollywood & Nollywood movie in 2015..........@Op...continue the part 2, 3 & 4... ![]() ![]() |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by repogirl(f): 7:10pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Op, advice you how na? You sef haf talk it that separation is imminent. me, na blame I go blame you because no how no how, u sabi sey na so she be before Una marry but you still marry so guy, carry your cross! Whatever your eye see, take am like that because na you carry your own leg enter faya!! ![]() |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 7:21pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Wow! That's what I say when I read such bad news! Jesus is the only way! His kind of love- Agape love is the only love that can forever keep couples together for a very long time. 2 Likes
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Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by lilmax(m): 7:21pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Smh |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by makhez019(m): 7:23pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Rep042:SMH, too long to read lol |
Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by jamesbawa(m): 7:24pm On Jan 04, 2015 |
Take her to tbj |
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