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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church (5163 Views)
When The Wife becomes the Husband. / The Law, The Husband, The Wife Or The Man, Who Is To Blame For This? (snapshots) / When Your Wife Takes Your Place As The Husband (Photo) (2) (3) (4)
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by LordReed(m): 12:55am On Jan 14, 2015 |
Flytefalls: I support people handling their own shït but it also means accountability and accountability means someone else gets to check. Faith in God does not mean you don't get to produce proof that is erroneous. Read Hebrews 11 again. When asking if you'd support your brother no one is asking you to manage his affairs the question is support which means your go along without asking if he thought about his action. No sane person will accuse you of control simply because you ask them if they've thought about the actions they are about to take unless of course they have some baggage making them go defensive. I see no big deal for a church asking a couple for pregnancy test, the church is supposed to be a gathering of high accountability. The marriage ceremony itself is based on accountability, a public declaration of fidelity and other virtues one is telling the public that one will hold on to. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by LordReed(m): 1:27am On Jan 14, 2015 |
carefreewannabe: It is done for accountability. The couple is coming to make a solemn oath in public, background checks ought to be done without fear or favour. 1 Like |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by ehisdan(m): 4:12am On Jan 14, 2015 |
carefreewannabe:It is not just a story but true life story. What baffles me was the fact that the babe hardened her heart like that of Pharoh and still allow a test to be carried out on her. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by ehisdan(m): 4:20am On Jan 14, 2015 |
LordReed:Yes there is no big deal for church asking for pregnancy test, but this should have been done before proceeding to the alter, not on the alter. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 6:05am On Jan 14, 2015 |
ehisdan: I guess she didn't expect that she was pregnant but why do churches carry out pregnancy tests? |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by LordReed(m): 7:12am On Jan 14, 2015 |
ehisdan: True. 1 Like |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by ehisdan(m): 7:22am On Jan 14, 2015 |
carefreewannabe:Hebrews 13:4 (Let marriage be held in honor by all and the bed undefiled). |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by sirrinky: 7:27am On Jan 14, 2015 |
Ehisdan I left u a message,in phones section for d bold 2.How far |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by ehisdan(m): 7:29am On Jan 14, 2015 |
sirrinky:ok |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 11:37am On Jan 14, 2015 |
LordReed:Support imo + in this context is to offer my brother information. I'll always share my opinions with people I love, but what business of mine is it if he hadn't actualised any of my advice? Control would be feeling affronted because he does not answer to me, and then start demanding that he do so. Happily, this is not me. My view is it's intrusive for a church to ask for a pregnancy test as a means of validating the woman's (!) fidelity and virtue. I've found that Churches that try too hard to uphold accountabilty have the same amount of fked up problems as any other. I thank God that not every church makes such intimate requests, so individuals can choose to bounce if they object. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by LordReed(m): 12:40pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
Flytefalls: It's a pregnancy test not a virginity test so how is it only the woman's virtue that is being tested? Abi women get pregnant all by themselves now? Anyways as you stated it is not by force, if you don't like what the church has required you bounce. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 1:15pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
ehisdan: Does it mean that the church is entitled to ask for a pregnancy test? |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 1:15pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
LordReed: What is the reason they ask for such a test? |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 3:26pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
LordReed:Well, as in the case presented by the OP, it's only ever the woman who'll be caught out if the couple aren't in the sh!!t together ![]() |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by LordReed(m): 4:57pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
Flytefalls: Then hard luck for her otherwise the guy would have owned up to the pregnancy. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 4:59pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
Why does nobody want to explain to me exactly why a church asks for a pregnancy test? ![]() |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by LordReed(m): 4:59pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
carefreewannabe: As I said before accountability. Churches generally don't want members having children out of wedlock, it doesn't speak well of people. Knowing you'd have to pass such a test serves to temper some of the urges. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 5:01pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
LordReed: If the church doesn't want to have children born out of wedlock, then they should be eager to allow the couples to marry who are expecting a child, logical, isn't it? |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Mintayo(m): 5:55pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
carefreewannabe:No intimacy before marriage, it's not scriptural. The intending couples are expected to keep themselves before appearing in a church, in the presence of a priest. Getting pregnant is way out of it, let alone for someone who you are not getting married to. The test is to ensure there's no pregnancy before the day. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 6:15pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
Mintayo: Does it mean that non-virgins should not be allowed to marry anymore? Never again? The intending couples are expected to keep themselves before appearing in a church, in the presence of a priest. But many don't. How does a pregnancy test prove that a couple didn't have s*ex prior to marriage? Getting pregnant is way out of it, let alone for someone who you are not getting married to. The test is to ensure there's no pregnancy before the day. Out of what? Let's say a couple sleeps with each other and the girl gets pregnant. It's wrong, according to the church, but should the child be born out of wedlock for this reason? Or is it more sensible to opt for "damage limitation"? Let's say a girls falls pregnant and the father disappears but another man KNOWINGLY and WILLINGLY decides to take responsibility for the unborn child, that is not his, and decides to marry the girl? Is it not better to let him? Does it not serve the good of the child? Cheating is another topic. If the girl cheated, then it is up to her fiancé if he still wants to proceed with the wedding or not. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by LordReed(m): 6:38pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
carefreewannabe: Expecting a child before you are married kinda defeats the purpose doesn't it? |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 6:45pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
LordReed: Which purpose? And is it better for the child and couple (future family) to hinder his / her parents from marrying each other? Or would it be more sensible to let them marry each other instead of making them have a child out of wedlock, to make matters worse as they have already sinned, according to the Bible? Can we Christians not confess our sins and seek forgiveness, one of the virtues Jesus stands for? How does hindering couples from marriage who became weak at one point or another, increase anyone's trust in the church? Where should people who erred, according to the church, turn to? Who should "sinners" turn to if not the church? Is the church supposed to treat its followers like criminals and make them prove their innocence instead of embracing them with open arms and correct their behavior? Draw them close so that they can become better instead of being left alone? |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by SAMBARRY: 6:52pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
BeeBeeOoh:exactly. It's apc's fault
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Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by LordReed(m): 7:31pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
carefreewannabe: Prevention is better than cure, it is much better to discourage such conduct than to spend time dealing with the after effects. How is treating someone like a criminal because of pregnancy test? If you are uncomfortable with such a demand no one can force you go somewhere else to have your marriage. The church should stand for good conduct, if you are unwilling to abide by it no one is forcing you so issue of treating like criminals does not figure in this one bit. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by BeeBeeOoh(m): 7:33pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
SAMBARRY:uaray a genius jare.. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 7:35pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
LordReed: It doesn't work obviously. How is treating someone like a criminal because of pregnancy test? If you are uncomfortable with such a demand no one can force you go somewhere else to have your marriage. The church should stand for good conduct, if you are unwilling to abide by it no one is forcing you so issue of treating like criminals does not figure in this one bit. I wouldn't be a member of such a church anyway, that's for sure. You have not answered my other questions. Is it better for a child to be born out of wedlock because his / her parents committed a "sin"? |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by LordReed(m): 8:21pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
carefreewannabe: The church should have standards it is so by her very nature whether individual members obey or not. Last time I checked pregnancy test wasn't required for weddings conducted at the registry. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 8:23pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
LordReed: Also not in all churches. In those in which "purity" is NOT more important than the forgiveness of sins and in which "purity" is NOT more important than the well-being of a child. Anyway, was nice talking to you. I am off this thread. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by ehisdan(m): 10:02pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
carefreewannabe:That is the only prove to show that the bed is undefiled. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Mintayo(m): 10:54pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
carefreewannabe:the church is guided by a standard, and that standard is the Bible. a virgin should keep himself/herself till marriage as a Christain. For the non-virgins,the fact that they are no more virgins doesn't mean they won't be allowed to get married, that's why most churches subject intending couples to counseling before marriage, things like this and many others will be discussed. In the case of the op, the church ought to have asked the couples for the result of the test before the day,that's why i do not believe the story among other things. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 6:06am On Jan 15, 2015 |
Mintayo: Nowhere in the Bible is it written that a church should make sure that the people who wed each other are virgins. It is not a church's job. |
Re: Who Is To Blame: The Wife, The Husband Or The Church by Nobody: 10:54am On Jan 15, 2015 |
ehisdan:Wouldn't you agree it's a bit pathetic and largely inadequate? |
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