All these punks who be quoting a whole chapter! fvck you all.







Btw, welcome mahn, i'm glad you're back... Flow and Snow!



#thumbzup

"Mathematical Sege!!" I hailed Segun as he entered the office.

"Flow! how work today na? how you waka na?" I noticed his shoes were dusty as usually.

"Oboy! see your shoe! u don waka the whole Ajegunle today oh!" I teased.

"Oboy i no know why this your head dey big everyday oh, abi na this job dey make your head big" it sounded like an insult to me.

It sounded like insult, but on a second thought it was true. At my age, i think i had stopped growing, but a part of my body has refused to stop growing, that's my head.

"You your head no big?" I said the oppossite of what Segun's head was; small head. Groundnut shaped head.

"see your money here" Kel handed me my money.

I counted and it was complete, but i noticed a bad 1000 naira note was amongst the money i was given so i complained.

"This money is bad"

"Must you complain about everything" Mr Wole said without even seing the money i was complaining of.

Kel took the money from me and handed over another note that looked almost like the other. All the while i was staring at Kel's A',ss. Kel has the kind the a'ss that from a panoramic view it looks like two big b'alls of Paw Paw fruit, from the rear view it looks like a Trailer tyre, from the left view it looks like my Church Speaker, and from the right view it looks like one wrap of Mama Sikiru's Pounded Yam, but all the same, i loved staring at her a'ss, it makes me believe that if her tiny waist could carry such an a'ss, then Nigeria will get better soon.

Kel!! Kel!! Kel!! Kel had been a trouble to my soul since i met her. I invented the name "Kel". Her birth name was Kelechi. I invented the name because it reminded me that i had a crush on the American singer Kelly Rowland. She doesn't look half as beautiful as Kelly Rowland because Kelly doesn't have a mouth wide enough to swallow two spoonful of hot Rice at the same time, she doesn't look half as beautiful as Kelly Rowland because Kelly doesn't have a forehead that looks like it was hammered with a sledge hammer, she doesn't look half as beautiful as Kelly Rowland because Kelly doesn't have Beans shaped Nose. Yet she has what Kelly Rowland doesn't have; an Earth quakening a.'ss. The same Kel really troubled my soul ab initio.

"I delivered 51 parcels" Segun announced.

"which kin 51 parcels" I doubted.

Amonst us all, Segun was the most hard working, he walks as fast as how a cheetah could run; 2 steps per seconds. Apart from being hard working and "hard walking" he is also Mathematical(topic for another day), little wonder the name Mathematical Sege.

Segun is as Black as Charcoal, yet handsome, he was as tall as NEPA ladder, yet handsome, little wonder Kel fell for him the first day she saw him. But the "commas" that Segun had was that he was bad with words; by that i mean he spoke a sentence and a grammatical earth quake occurs. Plus, he stammers, plus, he talks and an ocean of Saliva flows out of his mouth.

"oboy you don hammer be that oh" i managed to commend him. But i was full of jealousy.

"if you see how i waka for under rain ehnnnnn........" Segun said.

"i hope you didn't wet those parcels" Mr Wole could'nt alllow him finish.

"yes he did" I almost said.

Since we started the delivery job, there had never been a day i delivered more than 45 parcels. The day i delivered 45, i virtually crawled home. Yet, i was far better than someone.


That someone was James.

"James!! you don show?"

"mennnhnn!!!! i don show face oh" He wasn't looking like someone who just came back from delivering in the dreaded Mushin.

"How many did you deliver??" Mr Wole inquired.

"14 Sir!!!" James replied.

"Four what!!!!!!!?" Mr Wole raised his voice.

"Fourteeen" James answered.

"so you don't want to improve?" Kel added

"I did my best, but because of the rain i couldn't cover much area" James complained.

"You always have excuses to make" I noticed Mr Wole's face changed.

"Sir!!! ehnnnnn Sir!!!!!"

"Shut up!!" Mr Wole silenced him abruptly.

James was the rather lazy type. Like the Author of the book "S'ucker punch" he "hardly" chase girls. His favorite musician wasn't Mavin G'ay but sometimes i wondered if he was G'ay. If the WHO was to set aside a day as World shabby day and people were to dress on shabby clothes, James needed not dress shabbily, his best dress was still shabby.

Yet someone shabbier walked in.

flow1759:
Dear Readers,
How una dey? it's me again, the writer of the block busters: "Barrack boy', "Ibo boy wey like Yoruba", and "Man wey dey reason". Am here with yet another block buster titled "Flow and Snow. I pledge to do my best in updating as often as posibble. i welcome both constructive and destructive criticism (ishilove i miss you). i will do my best like i said, with an aim of making this story the best story in Literature section this year 2015. So help me God.
Yours Ever Fowing,
Flow1759.
PS: Any name of persons or places mentioned in this story is not a fiction of the writer's imagination, it is real. So bear with me as i will do my best to make a little alteration in names of persons and places for reasons best known to me. So help me God.

Flow my guy. Bad barracks guy! E don tey o

Flowy good to ave u back nice one dear




Still I flow



Happy new year

You flow we follow

Wellcome back Igbo boy.

flow1759:


James was the rather lazy type. Like the Author of the book "S'ucker punch" he "hardly" chase girls. His favorite musician wasn't Mavin G'ay but sometimes i wondered if he was G'ay. If the WHO was to set aside a day as World shabby day and people were to dress on shabby clothes, James needed not dress shabbily, his best dress was still shabby.

Yet someone shabbier walked in.

Ow jeez!!!

adegwurulez:

Ow jeez!!!

see this man where u waka enter nw

Still following bumper to bumper

kingphilip:

see this man where u waka enter nw

My oga dey write story so i gat comot from ghost mode. I've been around though.

adegwurulez:

My oga dey write story so i gat comot from ghost mode. I've been around though.

I start de wait for ur stories o

When u go begin post am

kingphilip:

I start de wait for ur stories o

When u go begin post am

I promise to give you a mention when i start.

adegwurulez:

I promise to give you a mention when i start.

no need to mention o

since I'm following u nw I'll b able it wen u start

but please make it soonest

kingphilip:

no need to mention o

since I'm following u nw I'll b able it wen u start

but please make it soonest

Aiit.. lets not derail the thread.

baba flow,flow dey go,i dey yur back.make i go resume duckman for my den

It's good to av u Bk, Flow
Closely following

Flow baba.... i hail o.... i must see d end od dis story .... come update quick o...

OOO mpa flow!! la u be dis, gud 2 have u back, mehn i cant express how i feel. hahaha, (in old-soja's voice) 'flower werrukom'

"Amos!! how hustle na na?"

"oboy! God go punish satan oh" Amos loved that cliche.

It was indeed a full house, that was how it always was between the hours of 5pm to 7pm everyday aside Saturdays and Sundays when we might have all returned from doing deliveries.

Wilo courier services limited was the name of the company i worked for, loctaed in the business district of Maza Maza Lagos, the company was the kind i could discribe as a "one man business". One man business it was, but indeed a lucrative one i must say. The chief executive office of this business was Mr Wole Akeju.

Mr Wole Akeju!! First of, you dared not call him "Wole" without the "Mr", to avoid story that touch, i chose to call him just "Sir" seeing what Amos went through for mistakenly calling him by his name; he was suspended from work for 2 weeks. Mr Wole is the kind of man that could be regarded as "as hard as rock". This man could kill Four birds with one stone, or even half a stone. He loved his business so so much, that he could kill for it if the need be. There was a day he almost threw James from upstairs because he came back with fake reports. A Pastor, that loved God so much that if possible he could change his surname to Mr Wole Jesus. Whenever we came to pick parcels in the morning, he always took 2hours of our precious time to preach the gospel of Christ to us, so we devised the system of picking the parcels for the next day in the evening before leaving for our various homes. Mr Wole lived his entire life on principles. Principles like: all workers must be in the office by at most 5:30pm to give reports of the day's deliveries, no report!! no pay!!, My Dog must be fed on or before 6:30 in the morning and 6:30 in the evening. But wait....................... He had another principle.................................




He loved anything on Skirt; Suit skirt, Mini skirt, Church skirt, and what have you.

The only Pastor i have met that took booze once in while. "for the stomach sake" he always said.


"oboy! God go punish satan oh"

"we don hear na! how today go?" Segun hated that cliche.

"oboy! i no well oh'' that was another cliche Amos loved mentioning.

"na every time you no dey well?" I told the Hypochondiac Amos.

All of a sudden, kel brought a Can of chilled Malt drink and handed it over to Segun. Segun recieved it with a smile exposing his gap teeth.


"what of us!" We all chorused.

She brought two other Cans and handed them over to Amos and James.

"what of my own" I was Salivating as Segun gulped down.

"it has finished" Kel informed.

"ehnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" I saw myself swollowing Saliva, and it tasted like Malt;acoholic Malt. Kel was in the habit of doing that, i wasn't finding it funny any longer.


Amos was paid for the 34 parcels he delivered and we started to pack Anual reports that were to be delivered the next day into our bags.

Yes! what the goon in Surulere accused me of being Coco was actually anual report of a beverage company. Our company was Affiliated to a Registrar company that collected these anual reports from several companies to be delivered to the houses of share holders.

"oboy na Ajegunle i wan go tomorrow oh" I noticed Ajegunle Parcels were more than others.

"them swear for you!" Segun reminded me of the goon in surulere.

"no them no swear for me, na there i wan go tomorrow, i don tire for Surulere" I replied.

"If they did not swear for you, come and touched this parceled" Segun threw bomb just because Kel sat close to where he stood.

"Sege!!! Mathematical Sege!!!" I hailed.

"what!!" He frowned.

"nothing oh, I just dey hail you"

"pls dont hail me again, sho gbon?" That was "Engli-Yoruba".

Just when i was laughing at the bomb segun threw, Someone else threw another bomb, a real bomb.

Rajy00:
Flow baba.... i hail o.... i must see d end od dis story .... come update quick o...

You be correct!! I never see them my old friends here oh. I mean my friends from "man wey dey reason"

1759 I hail o !

plainmirror:
1759 I hail o !

1 old friend i did a colabo with. i see you

.

Clemzy16 come mark attendance o

Oga flow, me i don land gidigba. Or so I thought

sEGXY2:
Clemzy16 come mark attendance o

Xo 1759 is back.. Make I kuku enter the ship, smooth sailing...

kingphilip:

is this u or ur ghost Ella?
I've really missed u sweetie

na me be ds o,I bn enta ghostmode

DEllaluv:



na me be ds o,I bn enta ghostmode

reach me for whatsapp nw

flowwwwwwwww
if you b woman u b Nicki Minaj
if you be club u b man utd
if you be pastor you be Oyakhilome
if you be terrorist you be boko haram
u too gbaski gan

welcome back

kingphilip:
Wow flow1759 is back

and u nor call me, na wa oh


bunsky, yurme make una come oh

#majestically walks in...,I grit u all in dis room in d name of d father and d son and d holyspirit...,may we enjoy dis story to d end amen,



#Brings out bread and beans,....,cum nd join me ooo

Toykathy,ritababe,logoDwhiz, where are thou? Space dey my front and back oo