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Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Man Curses Out Families Who Squander Money Sent Home By Relatives Living Abroad / Relatives Turning Us Into Their World Bank / My Horrible Experience When My Relatives Came To Stay With Us (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by teeghurl(f): 4:30pm On Jan 22, 2015
OP, let me add this. They ask you what kinda job you are doing, if you tell them they ask how much do they pay you per hour, tell them and the next question will be ''so, how many hours are you doing? so they can calculate how much you earn and plan your expenses and life for you grin grin

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Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by teeghurl(f): 4:34pm On Jan 22, 2015
mutter:
I don`t want to comment here because I will just get angry and sad.
Besides don`t want to reveal some bad experiences I have made with family.
Most people think that having many kid`s is a big financial burden but we get along okay.
What draws us down is the extended and larger family.
It is like a basket wiht a big hole. No matter how much you out it is never enough undecided
THe worse part of it is that no one seems to care, they just need more and more.
The problem is, the more you give, the more they expect. The day you are nt able to give then you become a bad person, they 4gt the good days angry

5 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by poxibility: 4:49pm On Jan 22, 2015
When next you are faced with request from families and friends, all you need to do is to be frank with them, let them know if you can afford it or not. Don't promise what you cannot fulfil and don't give what you cannot conveniently afford.
Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by hardbody: 4:50pm On Jan 22, 2015
tzoracle:
When by chance you happen to make your way out of nigeria and start to make a living abroad some relatives of yours make life not one to be enjoyed here are some of the common ones

Letter of invitation: if you per chance become a full citizen you become inundated with lots of requests. Everyone wants a letter of invitation.

Finance: This is the most annoying. Everybody expects you to be super rich once you live abroad,you keep being asked for money for saundry things that could well have easily been taking care of without your knowledge. Take for instance if you live in america and you earn 700$ a week after paying all your bills and sending money home you have very little savings,you can't afford luxury things for yourself

Spiritual attacks (winch)
Like m.I says 'bad belle is allowed' but the one from people in the villa is too much. Most people won't live and let live they keep looking for whose life to destroy.once you go abroad even if your a janitor who barely makes a living they still send bullets to u

Gift: when during xmas period you see a black person carrying a lot of gifts in his/her trolley that person is probably a nigerian. You buy things for everybody ranging from your siblings to your father's nephew's cousin's sister's stepson's gateman. Everybody must get something or the person woulrd start to spew trash about you

These are some of the ones I know of if you have ever been in this position feel free to add yours

LOL. Where I come from, every end of year, we compare notes with the guys abroad and so far we are doing better than most if not all of them, so none of these issues arise. Apart from the older generation that hit it big (my uncle who is in Houston and was already large before he traveled and continued doing well, employing oyinbos in his companies both in Nigeria and abroad) and a few others in his category, all my school and classmates are still struggling to make an impact. It was severally a point of discussion as we were hanging out this xmas. We point at their parents dilapidated houses begging for retouch and renovations, you cant see the one they have built for themselves, they bring in one Tokunbo car that they sell when they are done in the Villa, they are stingy with buying booze (we the locals declare for all as many times as they want). All we see around them are large sporting wears with big canvass and a lot of wanna wanna gonna gonna.

Like i said, where i come from...

9 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by Nobody: 4:52pm On Jan 22, 2015
Why are people whinging about us here?. The reason we ask for more is because you show us pictures of your big houses, cars, and places you wine and dine....not to mention how you travel from state to state. The impression you give us is...you have it in abundance. And our situation in Naija isn't helping matter as well.
That said....I need equivalent of

$100 each from 5 nairalanders in U.S.
£100 each from 5 nairalanders in UK.
€100 each from 5 nairalanders in Europe
$100 each from 5 nairalanders in Canada
$100 each from 5 nairalanders in Australia.
You know who you are....Please don't whinge after sending me funds. I won't make further request....its one off gift from the heart.
Details of account will be provided on request. Please no time wasters. grin

3 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by delishpot: 4:55pm On Jan 22, 2015
hardbody:


LOL. Where I come from, every end of year, we compare notes with the guys abroad and so far we are doing better than most if not all of them, so none of these issues arise. Apart from the older generation that hit it big (my uncle who is in Houston and was already large before he traveled and continued doing well, employing oyinbos in his companies both in Nigeria and abroad) and a few others in his category, all my school and classmates are still struggling to make an impact. It was severally a point of discussion as we were hanging out this xmas. We point at their parents dilapidated houses begging for retouch and renovations, you cant see the one they have built for themselves, they bring in one Tokunbo car that they sell when they are done in the Villa, they are stingy with buying booze (we the locals declare for all as many times as they want). All we see around them are large sporting wears with big canvass and a lot of wanna wanna gonna gonna.

Like i said, where i come from...


Lol at wanna wanna gonna gonna. I nor fit laugh o. Na true sha. But I believe what keeps most people abroad is safety and comfort of life. If Naija safe and we have light, water and good roads, believe me, Na mass exodus from abroad to home o. Its not like people dont know how fertile Naija is o.

1 Like

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by drnoel: 5:16pm On Jan 22, 2015
oge4real:
When you take out a personal loan from bank just to go home for a couple of weeks, what do you expect people to think.
I don't have such problem cos I'm almost invisible when I go home.

Have sketchy schedule and disappear as unannounced as you came in.

That's the spirit. That's what nigerians abroad would never understand. I met a nigerian living abroad in lagos during xmas. Men u need to see the escalade jeep he was driving in Nigeria. We got talking and he gave me so much scopes and hyps. All thru this guy didn't know I too didn't live in Nigeria. Funny enof, I met him again in a friends house after I returned and found out he was just a janitor. So I asked him how he came about all those effects in naija. He told me he had to save for 8 years but still couldn't save enof so he took a bank loan. I was completely shocked. All cos he wanted to impress his relatives.

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Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by koyyess: 5:19pm On Jan 22, 2015
Now that we all know your 'struggle', stop the fake display of wealth and picture taking with beautiful backgrounds- you only send wrong messages. As regards the gifts, its a culture even here in nigeria that when you go home during the holiday seasons, you bring gifts with you and not a dry mouth.
Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by pauldehero(m): 5:21pm On Jan 22, 2015
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Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by tellwisdom: 5:29pm On Jan 22, 2015
delishpot:



My dear, being " poor" as you put it is not a crime. I know wealthy peopke like you exist but biko dont insult the poor because you are rich.
You can extend your wealthy arms and give that family the #1.2 million and while at it send me like €350,000. I know you can do it.

Are you a beggar?? sad..Which busstop are you?? sad

1 Like

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by idu1(m): 5:31pm On Jan 22, 2015
fabiano09:
look at all of dem,shame on all of you complaining,if you notice dey are mostly ibo n few yorubas. Its a culture,some of you were sent abroad by pains frm dose relatives you so despise now,if its so bad out dere y dont you go back to naija?! I have friends dt ar abroad,dia family sold dia lands n even borrowed money to sponsor dem abroad and you hv d effrontery to say dey r disturbin you. Try dt in some families u go see pepper!. That is why i like the edo pple,wateva dey can do,dey will do. Any money i make i will send for my people because you will not live foreva overseas. Even if you die dere na dem go bury u. I know your types complaining,all dis janitors and burger joints workers. Rubbish.
I guess u r not working yet. And no one is disturbing u. I understand what they are going through, my bro. It frustrate many folks abroad....

2 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by Setaje(f): 5:36pm On Jan 22, 2015
Don't want to be tribalistic but this happened to my elder sister. She was to get married to an Igbo guy in the u.s who is a psychologist in the army. this guy's was very very ok. His elder sister's children, 2 of them we're living wiv him. He was paying their school fees in the university till they finished. This guy and my sister were supposed to get married. After the guys nephew and niece finished university, the guys twin brother back in Nigeria sent 2 of his own children too for this soldier to train. Meanwhile the soldier is above 40. The soldier was also sending money in millions for his family back here in Nigeria cus he was doing other businesses too. The guy is from abia.

To cut the long story short, the guy tell in people say in won marry o, say in don try for the ones wey in don do. That he wants to start his own family. Like play like play my sister started having terrible dreams wiv people chasing her. A lot of things happened to her that I wouldn't want to divulge more than this. At the end the relationship scattered. The guy is almost 50 and he is not married yet. And less I forget, he has finished training his twin brothers children. The last my sister heard was that his elder sister and her husband are currently staying wiv him. What do u call that?

3 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by cjeriia: 5:54pm On Jan 22, 2015
tellwisdom:


650k in 12 years?? ...Are you poor?? sad
Lol..!!! Simply means dey made 5 kids in less dan 12yrs.

1 Like

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by delishpot: 6:01pm On Jan 22, 2015
tellwisdom:


Are you a beggar?? sad..Which busstop are you?? sad

Are you rich or not? ok to ansa your question truthfuly, I am not a beggar. But I wont mind of you can give that money I asked for to a beggar sha. Go to any bustop of your choice and drop the cash in a beggars bowl.
The person you called "poor" gave 650k to someone yet the rich man that is abusing him and calling him "poor" is asking JAMB question before helping a "beggar"
If being a beggar is the only reason for you to help, feel free to go to any bustop of your choice and give the €350K to any beggar that asks for alms from you.
Abeg stop playing games and throw that wealth around. No need for all this jamb question and angry smiley. Abi are you poor? You are not rich afterall? See your life?

2 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by LesbianBoyy(m): 6:03pm On Jan 22, 2015
Don't forget about those that will ask you to connect them with a rich white woman.
Some will even go through you facebook friend list & add all your white friends.

While some random girls will ask you to send them Ipad & Iphone 6+ while na Iphone 5s i dey use.
Shebi i dey work for apple store ??

3 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by AreaFada2: 6:14pm On Jan 22, 2015
cheesy
oge4real:
When you take out a personal loan from bank just to go home for a couple of weeks, what do you expect people to think.
I don't have such problem cos I'm almost invisible when I go home.

Have sketchy schedule and disappear as unannounced as you came in.
.
It's not that simple. If you have a project to supervise, you must go. Enough of wasted money stories that touch.

These days though, they don't even know of any ongoing project, professionals do it now, until finished.

People take loan to invest back home & pay it off later.

Only a slowpoke would just gather loans to go fritter away frivolously.

A distant, distant, distant relative who saw me coming out of keke napep near our house still wanted me to take her son abroad! grin

I said madam, as you just saw, na keke napep I dey enter here. She still kept pleading.

They know many people keep a low profile when in 9ja now.

But they somehow find out about projects completed lately.

Some relatives can use it to brag without you knowing.

It's not about posing, it's the belief that money/life is easy abroad. Even many of them have more money in 9ja.

Stopped using nice cars when in 9ja like 10 years back. No need for any unwitting advert.

7 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by LesbianBoyy(m): 6:19pm On Jan 22, 2015
If we have good roads,good health facilities,security in Nigeria, I will denounce my American citizenship & come back to Naija.
There ain't no difference with you guys in Nigeria & us living in America.
The only difference is the money we make weekly.
An average person makes $500 (600 thousand naira) weekly, by the time you're done paying your rents,buying gas,auto insurance,health insurance,taxes you go know say Air conditioner no be ceiling fan. grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by LesbianBoyy(m): 6:29pm On Jan 22, 2015
You can take a bank loan here in America & never pay it but one day monkey go go market e no go return.
Remember they have access to your bank account, they will be cool with you for 5 years but on the 6th year, you will be expecting your tax refund na that time dem go punish you, shi shi dem no go give you as tax refund. grin grin grin
Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by Truth234(m): 6:38pm On Jan 22, 2015
BERNHARDT:
Thanks for this info , i will pass this info to my neighbours who are beginning to wonder how family pressure can send five able hard working men to jail.

Imagine you believe the rubbish that guy just posted and you will based your explanation on this single rubbish from a faceless forum. Goodluck with that, just know that OP open this thread because of what those 5 guys are going through not because of what this guy is saying.
Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by Rapzino: 6:58pm On Jan 22, 2015
stonemind:
H
H for HELL abi?
Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by asodeboyede(m): 7:00pm On Jan 22, 2015
Setaje:
Don't want to be tribalistic but this happened to my elder sister. She was to get married to an Igbo guy in the u.s who is a psychologist in the army. this guy's was very very ok. His elder sister's children, 2 of them we're living wiv him. He was paying their school fees in the university till they finished. This guy and my sister were supposed to get married. After the guys nephew and niece finished university, the guys twin brother back in Nigeria sent 2 of his own children too for this soldier to train. Meanwhile the soldier is above 40. The soldier was also sending money in millions for his family back here in Nigeria cus he was doing other businesses too. The guy is from abia.

To cut the long story short, the guy tell in people say in won marry o, say in don try for the ones wey in don do. That he wants to start his own family. Like play like play my sister started having terrible dreams wiv people chasing her. A lot of things happened to her that I wouldn't want to divulge more than this. At the end the relationship scattered. The guy is almost 50 and he is not married yet. And less I forget, he has finished training his twin brothers children. The last my sister heard was that his elder sister and her husband are currently staying wiv him. What do u call that?
Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by mamamummy(f): 7:07pm On Jan 22, 2015
KanwuliaJara:
Too much BEGGING from the BOTTOMLESS PITS! angry
Like you are packing money abroad.

I dash one couple with 5 children under 12 years N650,000 2 years ago, last year dem ask for N1.2Million. shocked
I just delete dem #s sharp-sharp.
Na me say make dem open nyansh and blokos dey born-born like termites?
Mtcheeeeeeew!
dash me N50k and I won't disturb you again.
Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by Nobody: 7:08pm On Jan 22, 2015
I just spotted "those people" in this thread. Yes, we see you. The ones saying we're whining. Then stop begging.

Disgusting. Why shouldn't I complain? I've never met or even heard the voice of 89% of these people a day in my life before I started working, and NOW you remember me? I post a picture on instagram for my FRIENDS, not you, and you say I'm bragging? Abeg carry your eye go jor! Who asked to you follow me?? I had to delete my Facebook so my family couldn't find me. TWICE.

I didn't give birth to you. You never did anything for me or my parents. I don't owe you shít. Entitlement mentality.

5 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by Nobody: 7:30pm On Jan 22, 2015
First off, there is so much general negativity, almost disdain, targeted at home based Nigerians on this thread. The picture painted here depicts ALL Nigerians in Nigeria as poor, ungrateful, insatiable, wicked, blood suckers. But is that true? Or, if this were to be a research, you'd gladly conclude that this is the way Nigeria is peopled? Or, do those of you overseas subscribe to the fact that you'll all do these things if you were home based?

Now, will it be OK to generalise that Nigerians abroad are illegal migrants, drug dealers, 419ners, janitors, menial hustlers, servants, prostitutes, blahblahblah?

True, many Nigerians engage in these negative acts most are complaining about but do they represent us all? No. Or, do the drug dealers, fraudster abroad represent every Nigerian? No.

It's simply dangerous to generalise. We're telling a story here; by it we're judged. Don't use personal experience to tell "our" story.

3 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by IdisuleOurOwn(m): 7:44pm On Jan 22, 2015
Here in afghan where I am, such things don't happen

1 Like

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by Nobody: 7:45pm On Jan 22, 2015
mazado:
First off, there is so much general negativity, almost disdain, targeted at home based Nigerians on this thread. The picture painted here depicts ALL Nigerians in Nigeria as poor, ungrateful, insatiable, wicked, blood suckers. But is that true? Or, if this were to be a research, you'd gladly conclude that this is the way Nigeria is peopled? Or, do those of you overseas subscribe to the fact that you'll all do these things if you were home based?

Now, will it be OK to generalise that Nigerians abroad are illegal migrants, drug dealers, 419ners, janitors, menial hustlers, servants, prostitutes, blahblahblah?

True, many Nigerians engage in these negative acts most are complaining about but do they represent us all? No. Or, do the drug dealers, fraudster abroad represent every Nigerian? No.

It's simply dangerous to generalise. We're telling a story here; by it we're judged. Don't use personal experience to tell "our" story.

I guess you didn't see the people calling us janitors and Instagram stunters that deserve to be leeched on. That's when I got annoyed, personally.

It's funny that Nigerians are so concerned with image, and not with reality. If the posts in this thread are painting a picture, guess what? Those are our experiences. That picture, like it or not, is the reality. We didn't all decide to have a meeting before we posted on this thread. There's no propaganda here. This is it. This is what actually happens. I'll just speak for myself, and say it pisses me off to see my parent suffer to make someone happy. I say parent, because even though it hurts my mother when my father's people speak ill of her (and they DO, I've gotten into fights over it), she decided long ago that she would not be used. My father is the one is see carrying the burdens of his siblings and cousins like a crown of stone because they have DRILLED IT INTO HIS MIND that they are his responsibility. "Oh, sah, you know you're all I have, you're like my father," and he believes them. It infuriates me. How can one man be supporting over 20 full grown adults and their children? Is he God? And he's convinced that if he doesn't measure up, people will laugh at him. He actually confessed this to me and it nearly broke my heart. I can honestly say with zero remorse that I HATE THOSE KINDS OF PEOPLE.

So before you start getting on your high horse, perhaps you can consider our point of view.

9 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by wierdpsycho: 7:48pm On Jan 22, 2015
MissMeiya:


I guess you didn't see the people calling us janitors and Instagram stunters that deserve to be leeched on. That's when I got annoyed, personally.

It's funny that Nigerians are so concerned with image, and not with reality. If the post in this thread are painting a picture, guess what? Those are our experiences. That picture, like it or not, is pretty damn close to reality. We didn't all decide to have a meeting before we posted on this thread. There's no propaganda here. This is it. This is what actually happens. I'll just speak for myself, and say it pisses me off to see my parent suffer to make someone happy. I say parent, because even though it hurts my mother when my father's people speak ill of her (and they DO, I've gotten into fights over it), she decided long ago that she would not be used. My father is the one is see carrying the burdens of his siblings and cousins like a crown of stone because they have DRILLED IT INTO HIS MIND that they are his responsibility. "Oh, sah, you know you're all I have, you're like my father," and he believes them. It infuriates me. How can one man be supporting over 20 full grown adults and their children? Is he God? And he's convinced that if he doesn't measure up, people will laugh at him. He actually confessed this to me and it nearly broke my heart. I can honestly say with zero remorse that I HATE THOSE KINDS OF PEOPLE.

So before you start getting on your high horse, perhaps you can consider our point of view.

SHUT UP!!
SHUT UP!!
all these minimum wage obamacare bufoons.... do you earn $350k+ annually.. if not shut up!!

4 Likes

Re: Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives by Nobody: 7:49pm On Jan 22, 2015
wierdpsycho:


SHUT UP!!
SHUT UP!!
all these minimum wage obamacare bufoons.... do you earn $350k+ annually.. if not shut up!!

You can't even spell "weird" correctly. Or "buffoons". Maybe you should do the shutting up. Jackass.

8 Likes

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