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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Islam for Muslims / Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses (16620 Views)
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Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by personal59: 9:49pm On Jan 22, 2015 |
Islam teaches us all things and has brought all good teaching to mankind concerning their livelihood, religion, living and dying, because it is the religion of Allah (SWT), may He be glorified and exalted. Sexual relations are among the important matters of life which Islam came to explain and to prescribe proper conduct and rulings which elevate it from the level of mere bestial pleasure and physical desire. Islam connects it to a righteous intention, supplications (adhkaar) and proper conduct which lift it up to the level of worship for which the Muslim will be rewarded. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) explains this. Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) says in his book Zaad al-Ma’aad: “Concerning sexual relations, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) brought the most perfect guidance, whereby health may be preserved and people may find pleasure and enjoyment, and it may fulfil the purpose for which it was created, because sex was created for three basic purposes: The preservation and propagation of the human race, until they reach the number of souls that Allah (SWT) has decreed should be created in this world. Expulsion of the water (semen) which may cause harm to the body if it is retained. Fulfilling physical desires and enjoying physical pleasure. This alone is the feature that will be present in Paradise, because there will be no producing of offspring there, and no retention which needs to be relieved by ejaculation. The best doctors suggest that sex is one of the means of maintaining good health.” (al-Tibb al-Nabawi, p. 249) And he (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Among its benefits is that it helps to lower the gaze, brings self-control, enables one to keep away from haraam things, and achieves all of these things for the woman too. It brings benefit to a man with regard to this world and the Hereafter, and benefits the woman too. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to enjoy regular intimate relations with his wives, and he said, “In your world, women and perfume have been made dear to me.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 3/128; al-Nasaa’i, 7/61; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim) And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity. And whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a protection for him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/92; Muslim, 1400) (al-Tibb al-Nabawi, 251) Among the important matters which should be paid attention to when engaging in intimate relations: Having the sincere intention of doing this thing only for the sake of Allah (SWT). One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one’s wife from doing haraam things, to increase the numbers of the Muslim ummah so as to raise its status, for there is honour and pride in large numbers. It should be known that one will be rewarded for this action, even if he finds immediate pleasure and enjoyment in it. It was reported from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “In the sexual intercourse of any one of you there is reward.” (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife) They said, “O Mesenger of Allah, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that?” He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do you not see that if he were to do it in a haraam manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a halaal manner, he will be rewarded.” (Narrated by Muslim, 720) This is the great bounty of Allah (SWT) towards this Ummah; praise be to Allah (SWT) Who has made us among them. Intercourse should be preceded by kind words, playfulness and kisses. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to play with his wives and kiss them. When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: “Bismillaah, Allaahumma jannibnaa al-shaytaan wa jannib al-shaytaan maa razqtanaa (In the name of Allah, O Allah Keep us away from the Shaytaan and keep the Shaytaan away from what You bestow on us (our children)).” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If Allah decrees that they should have a child, the Shaytaan will never harm him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/187) It is permissible for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina in whatever manner he wishes, from behind or from the front, on the condition that it is in her vagina, which is the place from which a child is born. Allah (SWT) says (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will.” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Jews used to say that if a man had intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child would have a squint. Then this aayah was revealed: “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will.” [al-Baqarah 2:223] The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “From the front or from the back, so long as it is in the vagina.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 8/154; Muslim, 4/156) It is not permissible for the husband under any circumstances whatsoever to have intercourse with his wife in her back passage. Allah (SWT) says (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will.” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. It is known that the place of tilth is the vagina, which is the place from which one hopes for a child. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “He is cursed who has intercourse with women in their back passages.” (Narrated by Ibn ‘Udayy, 1/211; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 105). This is because it [anal intercourse] goes against the fitrah [natural inclinations of man] and is an action which is revolting to those of a sound human nature; it also causes the woman to miss out on her share of pleasure; and the back passage is a place of filth and dirt – and there are other reasons which confirm the fact that this deed is haraam. If a man has intercourse with his wife and wants to come back to her a second time, he should do wudoo’, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If any one of you has intercourse with his wife then wants to repeat it, let him do wudoo’ between the two (actions), for it is more energizing for the second time.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1/171). This is mustahabb (recommended), not waajib (obligatory); if he is able to do ghusl between the two actions, this is better, because of the hadeeth of Abu Raafi’ who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) went around his wives one day and did ghusl in this one’s house and in this one’s house. He (Abu Raafi’) said: “I said to him, O Messenger of Allah, why do you not do one ghusl?” He said, “This is cleaner and better and purer.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood and al-Nasaa’i, 1/79) One or both of the spouses have to do ghusl in the following situations: When the “two circumcised parts” meet, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When the circumcised part meets the circumcised part (according to another report: when the circumcised part touches the circumcised part), ghusl becomes waajib (obligatory).” (Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim, no. 526). This ghusl is obligatory whether ejaculation takes place or not. The touching of the circumcised parts means that the glans or tip of the penis penetrates the vagina; it does not mean mere touching. Emission of semen, even if the two circumcised parts do not touch, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Water is for water [i.e., the water of ghusl is necessary when the "water" of semen is ejaculated].” (Narrated by Muslim, no. 1/269) Al-Baghawi said in Sharh al-Sunnah (2/9): “Ghusl for janaabah [impurity following sexual discharge] is waajib in either of two cases: when the tip of the penis enters the vagina, or when gushing water is emitted by either the man or the woman.” For more information on the details of ghusl as prescribed in sharee’ah. It is permissible for the husband and wife to do ghusl together in one place, even if he sees her and she sees him, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl together from one vessel between me and him; we would take turns dipping our hands in the vessel and he would take more than me until I would say, ‘Leave some for me, leave some for me.’” She said, and they were both junub (in a state of janaabah). Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim. It is permissible for a person who has to make ghusl to sleep and delay the ghusl until before the time of prayer, but it is definitely mustahabb for him to do wudoo’ before sleeping, because of the hadeeth of ‘Umar, who said that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), Can any one of us sleep when he is junub? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Yes, but let him do wudoo’ if he wishes.” (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, 232). It is forbidden to have intercourse with a woman when she is menstruating (having her period), because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an adhaa (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have prufieied themselves, then go in unto them as Allah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina). Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, bodies, for their prayers, etc.).” [al-Baqarah 2:222]. The person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating has to give a dinar or half a dinar in charity, as it was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) obliged a man to do when he came and asked him about that. This was reported by the authors of al-Sunan and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 122. But it is permissible for the husband to enjoy his menstruating wife without having intercourse, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) would tell one of us, when she was menstruating, to wear a waist-wrapper, then her husband would lie with her.” (Agreed upon). It is permissible for the husband to withdraw (‘azl) if he does not want to have a child; by the same token it is permissible for him to use condoms – if his wife gives her permission, because she has the right to pleasure and to children. The evidence for this is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said, “We used to do ‘azl at the time of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) heard about that, and he did not forbid us.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/250; Muslim, 4/160). But it is better not to do any of that, for several reasons, including the fact that it deprives the woman of pleasure or reduces the pleasure for her; and that it cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to increase the number of offspring, as mentioned above. It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life; indeed, this is one of the most evil things. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Among the most evil of people before Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who comes to his wife and has intercourse with her, then he spreads her secrets.” (Narrated by Muslim, 4/157). It was reported from Asmaa’ bint Yazeed that she was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and men and women were sitting with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Would any man say what he did with his wife? Would any woman tell others what she did with her husband?” The people kept quiet and did not answer. I [Asmaa'] said: “Yes, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah, they (women) do that, and they (men) do that.” He said, “Do not do that. It is like a male devil meeting a female devil in the road and having intercourse with her whilst the people are watching.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, no. 1/339; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 143). This is what we were able to mention about the etiquette of sexual relations. Praise be to Allah Who has guided us to this great religion with its sublime manners. Praise be to Allah Who has shown us the best of this world and the next. May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad (SAAW). Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid Please Join our Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/purematrimony http://www.muslimmarriageguide.com/2010/12/107/ 40 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by maclatunji: 6:53am On Jan 23, 2015 |
JazakhumLlahukhayra OP. 6 Likes |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by baba11(m): 7:35am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Jazakumllahu kairan 2 Likes |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by moderatorr1: 7:49am On Jan 23, 2015 |
jazakumullah khaeran. |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by veekid(m): 7:49am On Jan 23, 2015 |
more grease to ur elbow 1 Like |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by adewasco2k(m): 7:51am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Nice 1 Like |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by Tolzeal(m): 8:00am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Jazakumllahu kairan bro. |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by rashyfizzy(f): 8:00am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Jazhakumllahu kairan |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by Tenim47(m): 8:06am On Jan 23, 2015 |
hmmm, surely we bliv in u Allah nd ur prophets 1 Like |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by Rajjah(f): 8:10am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Nice post 1 Like |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by amdo007(m): 8:17am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Thanks . |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by kelahns: 8:22am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Jazakulahu Khairan....have added this to my knowledge base... |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by Alphonsocapone(m): 8:24am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Masha'Allah. may Allah reward d op abundantly. 1 Like |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by makzeze: 8:31am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Jazakallahu khayran |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by Wealthyone: 8:37am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Jazakah Llah airan. Jumah mubaraq to everyone. 3 Likes |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by xcesswag(m): 8:39am On Jan 23, 2015 |
does Islam permit MouthAction and cunninglingus ? thanks 1 Like |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by karidad(f): 8:41am On Jan 23, 2015 |
May Allah(SWA) rewrd u abundantly. Asalamu alaykum 1 Like |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by Occurstaem(m): 8:49am On Jan 23, 2015 |
After reading this, I was like 'Whaooow! So educating and interesting' I really like your simplicity Op. May Allah reward you abundantly.AAMIN. Modified; Upon all the people viewing this topic,the comments so far has not reach second page. This is bad. I hereby call upon the Muslims on nairaland to always comment on Islamic topics by not only writting 'jazakumullah khaeran'. Let's contribute to the topic. Let's share our opinions too. A lot of people may gain from us. May Allah grant us goodness in this world and in the hereafter.Aamiin 10 Likes |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by adijat4uall: 8:49am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Jazakulahu Khairan |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by talk2me006(m): 8:50am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Alhamdulilah ! nice thread |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by good4all: 8:55am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Alternative views: MouthAction as pre-intimacy MouthAction (oral-genital contact) is considered as a part of pre-intimacy by those who allow it, not as an alternative to vaginal intercourse.One group of Salafi scholars and Shafi`i school says that MouthAction is halal (permissible) because of the hadith in which he encouraged pre-intimacy between spouses, and that these are naturally gratifying activities that will help them have a better marriage. Dr. Heba Kotb , a Sunni female scholar who gives sex advice on Egyptian TV, said that MouthAction is allowed "since there is no religious text banning it". She considers MouthAction as a part of pre-intimacy on this ground that Islam "stresses the importance of pre-intimacy". Avoiding secretions Schools of thought ( Madh'hab ) such as Shafi'i and Hanbali consider MouthAction as permissible but only as part of pre-intimacy while all schools regard genital secretion as impure. MouthAction is permitted provided that secretion from the Instruments is not consumed and no injury or infliction made. The consumption of semen on the other hand is believed to be permissible my some scholars. However, the stronger view is that it is not allowed.The couple has to rinse their mouth afterwards to maintain cleanliness. Bathing (ghusl) after MouthAction According to alternative views, MouthAction is only permitted as a way of stimulation and pre-intimacy. If a husband does have MouthAction with his wife, and ejaculates semen, then ghusl is obligatory according to Islamic sexual hygienical jurisprudence; however, if he only releases Madhy ( pre-ejaculatory fluids ) then Wudu is only required, and the wife has to wash the Madhy away. 6 Likes |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by abdussalam(m): 9:06am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Mashaa Allah! |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by mohammad11: 9:06am On Jan 23, 2015 |
In details d post is @op JazakAllahu khayran |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by barbstee(m): 9:09am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Jazakumullahu khayr |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by hardeh89(f): 9:17am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Almighty Allah will reward you 4 sharing dis info |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by Midy28(f): 9:17am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Jazakum Allahu Khair.May Almighty Allah increase us all in the knowledge of the deen. |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by Occurstaem(m): 9:19am On Jan 23, 2015 |
good4all:jazakumullah khaeran. What we do not understand is that by sharing our views about a particular topic, some people may gain more knowledge and understanding of the topic. So let's contribute to the topic by sharing our views. |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by horlanreyfoward: 9:41am On Jan 23, 2015 |
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Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by horlanreyfoward: 9:49am On Jan 23, 2015 |
Occurstaem:. Is it allowed in Islam to do it with mouth? Husband kissing/romancing the vagina with mouth or wive sucking the. Joystick? 1 Like |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by keepingmum: 10:00am On Jan 23, 2015 |
X |
Re: Islamic Teachings on Intimate Relations Between Spouses by Eesha: 10:05am On Jan 23, 2015 |
May Allah make it easier for us and guide us away from the ways of shaytan. AMIN. |
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