I've always noticed that my chicken was behaving abnormally. But I didn't see it as anything...till the bird flew

*bird flu*

Africans should be excluded from athletics, they are the only continent with cheetahs.
**cheaters***

*Here are puns not originally mine, but with some of my inputs**

1. A nairalander sent ten posts with PUN INTENDED but no PUN IN TEN DID.

2. He was so drunk that he convincingly took the ugliest girl from the club, and proved that beauty is actually in the eye of the beer-holder.

People who ask me too many questions will be hospitalised...A ward is enough for the Why's

BoboYekini:
Other than(apart from) the rainy days, the other(not-so-rainy) days barely hold any water. Literally.

wagbayi!

Eke40seven:


What he interpreted was not literal in any way, more like figurative.

ohyeah really i meant thats the usual/ordinary translation...

Well f u dont want Alcohol RUNNING in your system, all you av to do is CHASE it. lol

I ll do a sketch of thee what pencil shall I use 2B or not 2B

After given birth to a male named chimezie, she prayed for his future to be bright.

Neil, after receiving heavy chairs (cheers) from the crowd,took the mic and said, "I am Neil, am strong" (Neil Armstrong).

hitleraldof:
I ll do a sketch of thee what pencil shall I use 2B or not 2B

lol nice. Shakesphere.

Dnt make me DRAW my weapon, unless u want a SKETCH!

he can't take any more FOOD coz his FOOL

zyzxx:
he can't take any more FOOD coz his FOOL

wheres the pun?

illicit:

wheres the pun?

full -fool

When it pours, it reigns

Some football puns for the weekend

Gareth is always a BALE for the opposition teams.
**"Bale" can mean;
Evil, especially considered as an active force for destruction or death.
Suffering, woe, torment.

2. Can Gareth bail his team from defeat?

Barcelona are loosing and the fans are begging Enrique to show Messi.

Does Lionel ever have mercy?

JOHN has been awkward at back lately, although still strong at the front, his exchange of form is Terry-BULL

***also terrible***exchange of form****Johnbull to terrybull***

oh no! Shinji has gotten a red card.

**the Japanese player Shinji Ono!

Peter piper picked a peck of pickled pepper. A peck of pickled pepper peter piper picked. If peter piper picked a peck of pickled pepper, where is the peck of pickled pepper peter piper picked?


Lol...... Not original to me!

Peace should let me be, she should stop disturbing my peace for peace to reign.

#Mine
Jason Alexander decides not to pick any emotions except the one britney spears (spares)

#Mine
I tried lithium battery but in didnt spark, tried so much more brand but only Jordin spark

Tomorrow I would ask Ali "awfar ur son now", he might say "my son dey" (sunday)

#Mine
Juan raised an issues that matters (mata); the universe would have being living naked but thanks to EDEN's HAZARD (the hazard at the garden of eden)

zyzxx:
full -fool

it doesnt correlate

I forgot how to use a BOOMERANG, then it CAME BACK TO ME

DAVIDS, will even play with his glasses on, it shows how EDGAR he was.

A picture is worth a thousand puns.

The girl I've been asking out told me to either borrow her some money or stop disturbing her. After putting in much thought, I decided to leave her a loan

www.nairaland.com/1570597/stand-up. Read and be blessed.