cococandy:
that doesn't address anything I typed there. How is any of that a benefit for women above men?
I dont understand.
You mean a woman getting her fair share of what belongs to her. What she worked and contributed for is a favor to her?

How about everyone takes what they brought into the marriage and what they contributed financially into the marriage

raumdeuter:


Would you take a proposal that both of you dont have any kids so no one would have the excuse of staying home and losing income?

No. I want to have kids. If I can't have my own for one reason or another, I will adopt.

Nonso23:
Every law has loopholes. Get a good lawyer, peruse your entire assets before you marry, rewrite the deeds where necessary,transfer others if necessary.
If you divorce then wify's property will be split instead.
Wisdom is profitable to direct.

As manipulative as this sounds, this is really what people should do. The other alternative is never marry or maintain the same household. The thing is most of these men have no significant assets to start with. They're are just angry people who cannot cope in a society that actually places value on things you earn. This is totally different from the society they come ftim where value is placed in them simply because they are male. This is why many times Nigeroan women come overseas and excel. They are raised from childhood to work and expect no reward. When they get here and work for a month and get even a measley paycheck but still have a male boss see th in the morning and say "good morning ma'am", put in all the overtime they reasonably can and get "employee of the month" but get home and get called useless wife, they start to see how there's such an imbalance in their life situation. They realize that they feel worthy with a career and that becomes a focus. My dads driver in Nigetia came up see us in the US. He is a successful business man in Spain now. I don't expect that the relationship they had them is the same one they have now. I remember looking at him and even the expression on his face and the way he carried himself was different. You cannot tell s man like that to show up at your house at 6am in the morning because your child has to get to school early for drama practice. He had tasted a different side of life. You either grow with him or remove yourself from his life. No one should kill someone unless in self defense. These men are weak. Taking s gun or a knife to attack someone is a weak ass move. Grow some balls, get a divorce and move on.

carefreewannabe:


No. I want to have kids. If I can't have my own for one reason or another, I will adopt.

So why do you want to be compensated for something you desire. Its not like you were forced to have the child against your will

cococandy:
that doesn't address anything I typed there. How is any of that a benefit for women above men?
I dont understand.
You mean a woman getting her fair share of what belongs to her. What she worked and contributed for is a favor to her?

OK....marriage is not a favor

raumdeuter:


How about everyone takes what they brought into the marriage and what they contributed financially into the marriage

I think this is fair but what she contributed to the marriage by not working outside of the home will also be taken into consideration. how much value did that add to his life

coogar:

yup!
right from the garden of eden. it was all peaceful until a woman arrived in eden.



he wants to be locked up. he didn't run away. he handed himself in. he would rather be in jail than let an ingrate pïss all over him in the name of a flawed system.

good for him. let the greedy wives claim their child support in heaven. murder-suicide is now very common & this is mostly from caucasian males. if the law is fair, the men won't have to turn the gun on the wives, the kids and themselves.

Smh, if only you can prove that garden of eden really existed, plus if we are to go with that, the serpent is a man that turned into a snake to deceive the woman, technically, the man brought chaos into this sweet-bitter world.

Just realize already that this man is a mad man, one who is a danger to anyone at all, don't go shooting anyone o, I won't visit you in prison sha.

raumdeuter:


So why do you want to be compensated for something you desire. Its not like you were forced to have the child against your will

I don't want to be compensated for my child. I want to be compensated for what I have given up on for OUR child. If he doesn't like it, he can stay at home with the child and I will make money. Then in the unlucky case of a divorce, as the law treats everyone equally, our properties will be split 50 / 50 even though I brought the money home.

raumdeuter:

How about everyone takes what they brought into the marriage and what they contributed financially into the marriage

bwahahahaha...
that wouldn't favour the women so they wouldn't take that kinda option. how much money do women make overall in america? they may work harder but working hard doesn't always translate to making more money.

women love to choose jobs that aren't really mentally tasking. they work 18 hrs and get paid what some men make in 6 hrs. yes, she's working longer time but at what rate? men still contribute far more than women in every society so if it's about what they contributed - most women would have only 3 ghana-must-go bags after their divorce.

soulglo:



I think this is fair but what she contributed to the marriage by not working outside of the home will also be taken into consideration. how much value did that add to his life

In most cases the man while working outside still does some work in the house too. Or who compensates him for mowing the lawn, for fixing the car, or fixing electrical appliances since the wife wants to be compensated for cooking and cleaning?

soulglo:
Pansies. The system is fair. My man is a lawyer and he says this over and over again. The system is fair. I know women who pay child support. They try just as much as men to get away from paying. An african women called from Florida to get legal advice from my man about keeping the children so she does not pay child support. She's a nurse working ungodly hours. The husband chose to quit his job because he felt the children were paying the price of their moms selfishness. Fast forward to last year and they are done with the marriage. She does not want to pay spousal support or even child support. Well in most states she would have to pay. Nobody cares that she's a woman. She cannot escape it. I don't even think she cares if the kids are with her but in sure she'll want them with her if she can get away from paying child support. My ex friend who pays child support tried to use me to reduce her child support by claiming her daughter came to my daycare and she spent so and so. Heifer, I don't care if the court is asking you to pay 3000.00 a month. Sell your freaking Cadillac and drive a corolla then maybe you can pay the child support. The system is fair. Justifying killing in anyway over spousal rights or the rights of innocent children shows just how depraved these people are. Madonna should have killed Guy Ritchie when she had to pay him 80 million for a marriage that did not even last a decade or maybe Ludacris' baby mama should just go kill him now because he has primary custody of their child. I wish sperm was giving out based on people's character.

Lol. Why did you cite isolated cases involving Guy Ritchie and Ludacris to buttress ya point when the cases of men who got the short end of the stick outnumber women's by a ratio of over 1000:1? How about talk about the cases involving Nas and Kelis? Kevin McCall and Eva Pigford? Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills? You know darn right that the system isn't fair. However, just to make everything align with ya narrative, you had to pull something out of thin air, with a deceitful smile. A lot of women are evil!

How can a system which gives undue advantage to women be a just system? There's no fairness in the system - and women have mastered the game of exploiting it especially they deal with emotions. And it's always easier to manipulate things dependent on vulnerability, by using faux-emotional-deceit and the belief that women are more vulnerable than men.

Not here to support murder, however, anything can happen when you're in a space where you've got nothing to lose. It's like a subconscious emotions that takes over the mind, body, and soul - when provoked and pushed to the limit. Especially, when you expect loyalty from a partner you gave up everything for. Most times it has nothing to do with being mentally unstable - just a split second decision-making in a space where being rational/logical is the last thing on ya mind. Here you have got cases of folks lifting these women out of extreme poverty and giving them a new lease of life, with a lot of sacrificies involved. Yet most of these women always turn out to be diabolical opportunists basically cos they think they've the world on their feet in their new abode - despite their lack of achievement. Typical poverty and village mentality. What happened to loyalty and being good wives? Too many utter sickening stories out here - hence I despise a lot of Nigerian women.

cococandy:
The sensationalism I read on nairaland makes me wonder if there's a different set of laws these guys are aware of that we don't know about.

The law is anti-gender and in family issues will always consider the kids first before the two disgruntled Adults.

I notice it is our African brothers that scream blue murder the most. They just can't wrap their head around the fact that women are fairly treated here compared what they would normally be able to do back home. As in instructing the gate man to lock madam out of the house she's been contributing to for the past 10yrs.
All because she dared ask him what he was doing with condoms in his pocket (or something of that nature)

You wonder if they have daughters. SMH. It gives me chills that anybody could read that post and somehow want to justify the actions of these low life animals

carefreewannabe:


I don't want to be compensated for my child. I want to be compensated for what I have given up on for OUR child. If he doesn't like it, he can stay at home with the child and I will make money. Then in the unlucky case of a divorce, as the law treats everyone equally, our properties will be split 50 / 50 even though I brought the money home.

Who compensates him for what he has also given up for the child, the nights he has to stay up and baby sit, the weekends he has to rock baby to sleep or the times he had to drive the kids to school or hospital and all money he spent on them

How about take the baby to a day care and let everyone work to the best of their ability because now everyone is telling us that if not for staying home to take care of babies they would have been as rich as Alakija.

freecocoa:
Smh, if only you can prove that garden of eden really existed, plus if we are to go with that, the serpent is a man that turned into a snake to deceive the woman, technically, the man brought chaos into this sweet-bitter world.

why did she allow herself to be deceived? the man was living in eden before the woman. he must have been tempted by other stuff too but he kept himself within the laws of the garden.

Just realize already that this man is a mad man, one who is a danger to anyone at all, don't go shooting anyone o, I won't visit you in prison sha.

prison ke?
i would empty all the bullets in the magazine on her then bite a capsule of cyanide. that's the fair deal!

@Coogar

I've got a webseries for you that's like The Wire - it's about Flatbush in Brooklyn. Acting isn't that professional, but the script is cray. Once you watch the first and 2nd episodes, you won't stop till you watch the whole series.

Also, you should be able to relate easily cos it's somewhat like what goes on in London bits as well.

coogar:


many of these men left their girlfriends in the village to hustle abroad. i left chidinma in ituku almost 25 years ago. she was my first love in primary school. if i go back home to marry her then it's because i'm a control freak?

clown! abegi! you dont expect the chidinma you left in Ituku 25 years to still be the same person. Heck, the Coogar of 25 years ago isnt the same Coogar. Besides, most of the couples in this article have a wider age difference , are you telling me the men started dating them when they were in diapers!

Anyway, when the time comes I trust you wont go back to the village to pick up some random girl. hehehehe.

mutter:
When you have nothing to live for, then you have everything to die for!

The fact that it keeps happening shows that the men are not all suddenly going mad.

A man that had worked so hard brought his much younger wife here to Germany, when they come to church the wife was so rude to the man, perhaps because she was better educated. I quickly grabbed hold of her and drew her aside. I warned her that her husband was respected in this community and if she ever tried it again where I was I would shred her to bits. Foolish girl!

These greedy bitches accept a man they do not love and are ashamed of just to get out of Nigeria and then they want to ruin the man.
Do you know that these men have worked so hard for so many years! Received all kinds of insults from society and then you bring this young girl and she gives you the final insult to let you know you are = 0.
How many of them come here with nothing and soon the man is out of his own home on the streets and having to pay maintenance.
When the study in America, they are able to do so because the man brought them there.
Nursing is not even a good paying job, like any menial job you can gather money if you work enough hours. While they are at work they cannot perform as wife`s so of what use is the work if it does not benefit the family?

No matter how educated or how much money they have a woman must humble herself and treat her husband with the utmost respect in all situations. That is not just good for the man but also for the children. The children are raised in an environment where the learn respect and manners.
That is what you get when a man that has struggled for years gets dragged into the mud in his own home. A man that has struggled and faced discrimination and abuse outside. Treat him like a king at home so that he can feel like the man he is, that will give him the strength to keep struggling.
Instead these women get rude, function like they don`t have a family, neglect the welfare of their husbands and homes and go running after the dollars.

i love u for this

Sophyrocks:


Of course yes! They are murderers. Some of them are abroad and have been killing women. Na today? Why do you think they are always bitter?

Thinking

raumdeuter:


Who compensates him for what he has also given up for the child, the nights he has to stay up and baby sit, the weekends he has to rock baby to sleep ot the times he had to drive the kids to school or hospital and all money he spent on them

Does he give up on his job, income and career prospects when he spends his time with his kids? No? Then there is nothing to compensate him for.

How about take the baby to a day care and let everyone work to the best of their ability because now everyone is telling us that if not for staying home to take care of babies they would have been as rich as Alakija.

I would not give my children to any day care until they are at least two, best three, this is my personal conviction. When you have 2-3 children, that makes you leave the employment market for 6-9 years.

Therefore, my solution to the problem is the following:

1. Sign a prenup.

and / or

2. Stay at home and let your wife work.

Let's see how rich you will be when your properties get split 50 / 50.

carefreewannabe:

I don't want to be compensated for my child. I want to be compensated for what I have given up on for OUR child. If he doesn't like it, he can stay at home with the child and I will make money. Then in the unlucky case of a divorce, as the law treats everyone equally, our properties will be split 50 / 50 even though I brought the money home.

So the man does not lose anything when he has a child

Interesting

It was always about net position since you lot seem to see a child as not yours but his

I lost out giving birth to his child

I got to get mine......

So this is the psyche of women

I gave him sex
I gave him my body
I gave him a child

Hmmm

Only reinforces what I've known for a long time. 99.9% of Nigerian men CANNOT live happily with a confident woman.

pickabeau1:



So the man does not lose anything when he has a child

Interesting

It was always about net position since you lot seem to see a child as not yours but his

I lost out giving birth to his child

I got to get mine......

So this is the psyche of women

I gave him sex
I gave him my body
I gave him a child

Hmmm

Is it what you read into my posts? Re-read, please.

Now tell me what a man gives up when he has kids.

SirShymexx:


Lol. Why did you cite isolated cases involving Guy Ritchie and Ludacris to buttress ya point when the cases of men who got the short end of the stick outnumber women's by a ratio of over 1000:1? How about talk about the cases involving Nas and Kelis? Kevin McCall and Eva Pigford? Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills? You know darn right that the system isn't fair. However, just to make everything align with ya narrative, you had to pull something out of thin air, with a deceitful smile. A lot of women are evil!

How can a system which gives undue advantage to women be a just system? There's no fairness in the system - and women have mastered the game of exploiting it especially they deal with emotions. And it's always easier to manipulate things dependent on vulnerability, by using faux-emotional-deceit and the belief that women are more vulnerable than men.

Not here to support murder, however, anything can happen when you're in a space where you've got nothing to lose. It's like a subconscious emotions that takes over the mind, body, and soul - when provoked and pushed to the limit. Especially, when you expect loyalty from a partner you gave up everything for. Most times it has nothing to do with being mentally unstable - just a split second decision-making in a space where being rational/logical is the last thing on ya mind. Here you have got cases of folks lifting these women out of extreme poverty and giving them a new lease of life, with a lot of sacrificies involved. Yet most of these women always turn out to be diabolical opportunists basically cos they think they've the world on their feet in their new abode - despite their lack of achievement. Typical poverty and village mentality. What happened to loyalty and being good wives? Too many utter sickening stories out here - hence I despise a lot of Nigerian women.

Please be my guest and make a table then post here. Please feel free to post examples of women who earned more than their spouses and still collected spousal support. I'm waiting. I don't have time for sentiments. I'm going with facts. Please for my sake when you are going on one of your legendary emotional rants use italics. Then when you switch back use regular font. That way I can bypass the bullshit and get to the one sentence that really has any bearing on what you quoted

freecocoa:
If the man is a danger to them all, it's best to kick him out, how do you compare the two btw?

its best to kick him out, but remember that someone or something made him dangerous

coogar:


why did she allow herself to be deceived? the man was living in eden before the woman. he must have been tempted by other stuff too but he kept himself within the laws of the garden.



prison ke?
i would empty all the bullets in magazine on her then bite a capsule of cyanide. that's the fair deal!

Chai jesu , you are just something else. Why did the man tempt her? No one allows themselves to be tempted or deceived, you can only blame her for falling but the man who conceived the thought to tempt her, is the bad person here.

Please don't go anywhere, I'm coming over with your folks, you need an intervention, you don craze finish .

When people lose sight of where they come from and put all hopes in another man's land, this is exactly what happens. The Western world will continue to be dominated by women, there's no stopping that, there's a feminist agenda out there and the ultimate aim is to cripple the moral of men to the point that they become a shell of themselves. Everyone knows that with great power comes greater responsibilities, when you empower women to a certain point, they show exactly how dangerous they can be. A smart man however should always be one step ahead, a man should not get so comfortable as to chop with both hands and forget the future. Anything can happen, I repeat Anything can happen! It takes the grace of God for any relationship to work especially here in the States were marriages are being shattered everyday and the gays are growing from minority to majority. Those men who allowed the devil to push them to the point of killing their spouse are of weak minds, never allow someone to take away your freedom, your liberty, your sanity!

And they'll be saying 'I paid for..'¿
What if she doesn't pass after your 'I paid for' routine and sing-song¿
Like it was written in there, what stops him from doing the nursing himself¿
If she no pass, this person fit beat and blue and black ooo¿
And when they react, it's 'disrespect.'¿
Go and hang your sac and let's rest¿

mutter:
When you have nothing to live for, then you have everything to die for!

The fact that it keeps happening shows that the men are not all suddenly going mad.

A man that had worked so hard brought his much younger wife here to Germany, when they come to church the wife was so rude to the man, perhaps because she was better educated. I quickly grabbed hold of her and drew her aside. I warned her that her husband was respected in this community and if she ever tried it again where I was I would shred her to bits. Foolish girl!

These greedy bitches accept a man they do not love and are ashamed of just to get out of Nigeria and then they want to ruin the man.
Do you know that these men have worked so hard for so many years! Received all kinds of insults from society and then you bring this young girl and she gives you the final insult to let you know you are = 0.
How many of them come here with nothing and soon the man is out of his own home on the streets and having to pay maintenance.
When the study in America, they are able to do so because the man brought them there.
Nursing is not even a good paying job, like any menial job you can gather money if you work enough hours. While they are at work they cannot perform as wife`s so of what use is the work if it does not benefit the family?

No matter how educated or how much money they have a woman must humble herself and treat her husband with the utmost respect in all situations. That is not just good for the man but also for the children. The children are raised in an environment where the learn respect and manners.
That is what you get when a man that has struggled for years gets dragged into the mud in his own home. A man that has struggled and faced discrimination and abuse outside. Treat him like a king at home so that he can feel like the man he is, that will give him the strength to keep struggling.
Instead these women get rude, function like they don`t have a family, neglect the welfare of their husbands and homes and go running after the dollars.

@Mutter: God bless you!

Kedam:
its best to kick him out, but remember that someone or something made him dangerous

How? Like people aren't born with temper issues?

carefreewannabe:
Does he give up on his job, income and career prospects when he spends his time with his kids? No? Then there is nothing to compensate him for.

I would not give my children to any day care until they are at least two, best three, this is my personal conviction. When you have 2-3 children, that makes you leave the employment market for 6-9 years.

Therefore, my solution to the problem is the following:

I am proposing you dont give up job or career you decline

It looks the man has no choice

Would you cohabit and not marry NO

Would you marry and not have kids NO

Would you have kids and get a babysitter so you dont lose millions? NO

The only thing you want is for the man to pay for choices you made willingly not under duress

1. Sign a prenup.

and / or

2. Stay at home and let your wife work.

Let's see how rich you will be when your properties get split 50 / 50.

Prenups are known to be bendable by the law and why not a case where no one stay at home and everyone makes up to their potential?