Ewuro4:


oropesije

The dangerous mind of MOST today ladies.. Hence the numerous Calamity in marriage that are unheard of.


Eeshh

Not only ladies of today but even the older ones who maltreated their step sons

She is being real expressing what most women internalize towards their mothers in law, step sons or anyone not connected by blood

pickabeau1:


Not only ladies of today but even the older ones who maltreated their step sons

She is being real expressing what most women internalize towards their mothers in law, step sons or anyone not connected by blood

I lived in another planet then.

What older ladies? For starters..What's your definition of Today's Ladies?

Ewuro4:


I lived in another planet then.

What older ladies? For starters..What's your definition of Today's Ladies?

Lol....planet ewuro or euro
My phone always auto corrects to euro


I'm saying what she is saying is normal for a woman who is not mature or very measured.
Women are possessive

I'm not sure its limited to today or any era
Women are women

This is not about anyone being self righteous or a hypocrite, it's just very obvious from her writing, that the OP hates the kid's mum and it can be deduced that she doesn't want the child to have a part of the dad like she said, just how is this normal?

pickabeau1:



Lol....planet ewuro or euro
My phone always auto corrects to euro


I'm saying what she is saying is normal for a woman who is not mature or very measured.
Women are possessive

I'm not sure its limited to today or any era
Women are women

People are possessive, it doesn't just stop with women.

This is not about being possessive as I see it, the kid's mum is no longer in her man's life, why see an innocent 4 years old as a stumbling block? Unless she's not sure her man has stopped loving the child's mum.

It is not a just a women's thing.
How many men can marry single moms? We know their numbers are far fewer than that of ladies who will marry single fathers.

And we all see how single moms are more marginalized than single dads.

Men have a worse time dealing with the constant reminder that another man had his wife first.
doesn't even want that constant reminder that you've been knocked up by another man before.

All these sly 'Nigerian women mindset' talk ain't fooling no one.

Who came up with the 'after one' slang used in addressing single women who have had a child before marriage?

I guess it is ok to cuss people out for not accepting conditions we wouldn't accept if we were in there shoes.

Hypocrisy everywhere.

freecocoa:
This is not about anyone being self righteous or a hypocrite, it's just very obvious from her writing, that the OP hates the kid's mum and it can be deduced that she doesn't want the child to have a part of the dad like she said, just how is this normal?

Let's say you're involved with a man who already has a child, will you be able to love that child as much as you love yours especially when that man appears to give more attention to the child than yours?

cococandy:
It is not a just a women's thing.
How many men can marry single moms? We know their numbers are far fewer than that of ladies who will marry single fathers.

And we all see how single moms are more marginalized than single dads.

Men have a worse time dealing with the constant reminder that another man had his wife first.
doesn't even want that constant reminder that you've been knocked up by another man before.

All these sly 'Nigerian women mindset' talk ain't fooling no one.

Who came up with the 'after one' slang used in addressing single women who have had a child before marriage?

I guess it is ok to cuss people out for not accepting conditions we wouldn't accept if we were in there shoes.

Hypocrisy everywhere.

Stop foaming at the mouth, it's not about men marrying single moms or women marrying single dads - it's what happens after.

How many stories have you heard about men maltreating their step-children compared to women maltreating step-children?

It's one thing to have jealously issues, people are not judging you for that but you seem to have a lot of bitterness towards the child's mother and you are transferring that to the child. Why won't she have a picture of her mother in the house Saying the child will be an agent speaks of your paranoia .


My husband had 2 daughters before we met and the first thing I decided is I must respect their Mum and have a cordial relationship with her so the girls won't feel awkward around me. When she licks them up I offer her lunch and we talk about the kids and their new hobbies and vice versa. I know he will love any child we have as much as he loves the girls. In fact I wouldn't want him to love my child more, why should he They are all his children and I want him to love them equally.

The first thing you need to get rid of is this beef for the mother, that's clouding your relationship with the child and if you can't do that please let the child stay with the mother . Don't pick a side and label her a witch based on what your man told you, it's not that he is lying but we all know when a relationship fails many people will only tell what the other party did wrong and not their own part.

pickabeau1:



Lol....planet ewuro or euro
My phone always auto corrects to euro


I'm saying what she is saying is normal for a woman who is not mature or very measured.
Women are possessive

I'm not sure its limited to today or any era
Women are women

Lol.. Oh I see what you mean.

Her post although honest , came across very brazen and cold. I feel sorry for the little girl already.
Never witnessed such from my friends who had a stepmom growing up.

babyosisi:


I hope this man wakes up from his deep slumber very soon and runs far away from you
What an evil woman,insecure and scared of a 4 year old child
You haven't even married the man yet and you are already plotting evil of his child
Don't deny it
It is all over your post
She tricked him into having a baby and you didn't?
He is not married to you remember
Your child will soon be in the position of that other child
This poor man won't be asleep too long
Baba God please save this man from making the worst mistake of his life, do it for the sake of this innocent 4 year old child
Amen

He proposed to me. We want to get married. He WANTS TO have a child(even two) with me. So we are PLANNING it. I'm not pregnant. I didn't trick him with anything.

I called his ex a slut because she CHEATED (and also tricked) AND didn't want to show his kid to him. I didn't doany of these. Don't judge so quick.

crackhaus:

Stop foaming at the mouth, it's not about men marrying single moms or women marrying single dads - it's what happens after.

How many stories have you heard about men maltreating their step-children compared to women maltreating step-children?

Because men are not the primary care givers. The way mal treatment occur from men is telling the woman to take the child to the grandparents or such. There are also very few men who will take the step child to the same school as their kids or spend the same amount of money on them. Different times in nairaland we've had women come and ask advice because the man has instated that she must send the child away people in these parts generally find it hard to love a non biological child just like theirs, So it's the same, it's just exhibited in different ways

LostMermaid.. Please be nice to that girl. Please .

Forget about whatever the mother did.Love the child like your own.Treat the child the same way you would want another person to treat your own child.

Instead of thinking about who your hubby should love more, focus on how to make your family one.

LostMermaid:


He proposed to me. We want to get married. He WANTS TO have a child(even two) with me. So we are PLANNING it. I'm not pregnant. I didn't trick him with anything.

I called his ex a slut because she CHEATED (and also tricked) AND didn't want to show his kid to him. I didn't doany of these. Don't judge so quick.

you don't have any right to call her a slut. You weren't in the relationship with them.

Whatever you know is what your man told you and he will never make himself out to be the bad guy.

Just correct yourself.

Ewuro4:


Lol.. Oh I see what you mean.

Her post although honest , came across very brazen and cold. I feel sorry for the little girl already.
Never witnessed such from my friends who had a stepmom growing up.

But she is being real
Thats why I said matured or exposed women are exempt

crackhaus:

Stop foaming at the mouth

cococandy, please, ignore this!
Crackhaus, this is a super-desperate move
you used to be more subtle at trying to get her attention
She's been ignoring you lately?

pickabeau1:



But she is being real
Thats why I said matured or exposed women are exempt

Not sure I get your point there.^^

You mean matured and exposed women are not crafty ? just asking

Smh.

lolababe331e:
It's one thing to have jealously issues, people are not judging you for that but you seem to have a lot of bitterness towards the child's mother and you are transferring that to the child. Why won't she have a picture of her mother in the house Saying the child will be an agent speaks of your paranoia .


My husband had 2 daughters before we met and the first thing I decided is I must respect their Mum and have a cordial relationship with her so the girls won't feel awkward around me. When she licks them up I offer her lunch and we talk about the kids and their new hobbies and vice versa. I know he will love any child we have as much as he loves the girls. In fact I wouldn't want him to love my child more, why should he They are all his children and I want him to love them equally.

The first thing you need to get rid of is this beef for the mother, that's clouding your relationship with the child and if you can't do that please let the child stay with the mother . Don't pick a side and label her a witch based on what your man told you, it's not that he is lying but we all know when a relationship fails many people will only tell what the other party did wrong and not their own part.

Thus buttresses my point

A woman has to make a conscious choice to treat her step kids as humans or equal to her own kids

Yes some may say men don't also accept but they don't lie and pretend

Women pretend to land the man

lolababe331e:


Because men are not the primary care givers. The way mal treatment occur from men is telling the woman to take the child to the grandparents or such. There are also very few men who will take the step child to the same school as their kids or spend the same amount if money in them. So it's the same, it's just exhibited in different ways

Exactly @bold text, simple and short - that's what makes situations involving woman and step-child(ren) different from man and step-child(ren).

For the other parts of your post, can you please tell us about any experiences or news you may have heard involving men maltreating step-kids without the assumptions you made.

P.S if your guy really wants to have a peaceful family when y'all get married, he shouldn't be sowing seed of hatred between you and his ex by telling you nasty stuff about her.

It will just make you more contemptuous towards her and will definitely rub off on the child.
Whatever happened between them is in the past and they have a child now to take care of whom they should consider before going at each other's throat.

so he should bury his bitterness and stop telling you how he Hates her. Or maybe he's saying it to make you feel better but It is not helping either of you.

Ewuro4:


Not sure I get your point there.^^

You mean matured and exposed women are not crafty ? just asking

I mean someone who is not threatened by the step child but knows that the kids are her hubbys and treats him as a human

I may not love this kid but I will not maltreat her
Its not a natural thing

cococandy:
It is not a just a women's thing.
How many men can marry single moms? We know their numbers are far fewer than that of ladies who will marry single fathers.

And we all see how single moms are more marginalized than single dads.

Men have a worse time dealing with the constant reminder that another man had his wife first.
doesn't even want that constant reminder that you've been knocked up by another man before.

All these sly 'Nigerian women mindset' talk ain't fooling no one.

Who came up with the 'after one' slang used in addressing single women who have had a child before marriage?

I guess it is ok to cuss people out for not accepting conditions we wouldn't accept if we were in there shoes.

Hypocrisy everywhere.

You've started again with your absurd theories

Do you see men pretending to like a step child to marry the woman

If they do..what's the ratio to women who have smiling faces but hate the kid

Continue ranting about hypocrisy

When u come to the real world..u can contribute

alutacontinua:


cococandy, please, ignore this!
Crackhaus, this is a super-desperate move
you used to be more subtle at trying to get her attention
She's been ignoring you lately?

Yes I'm desperate at getting her attention, now can you fvck off since you have succeeded in getting my attention you so crave?

Cococandy don turn Genevieve whose attention should be desired, what putrid nonsense...

crackhaus:

Exactly @bold text, simple and short - that's what makes situations involving woman and step-child(ren) different from man and step-child(ren).

For the other parts of your post, can you please tell us about any experiences or news you may have heard involving men maltreating step-kids without the assumptions you made.

I have already told you that even here on nairaland we've had cases where the man insisted that the woman must send away the child so it's not assumptions.There was a case where he didn't even tell the woman that in the beginning because he knew she would not agree so he waited till they were married then turned around and said she must send the child to the grandparents who are in the village that is mal treatment, how can you send away a child from his mother to go live the village with aged grandparents simply because it makes you jealous when you see the child so yes so men do pretend to be accepting of the child and then after marriage they let their real feelings be known. I also know of men who insist that the step kids attend public schools while their kids go to private because they don't want to waste money raising another man's child that is the same as wicked step mom saying when should she spend her time and energy caring for another woman's child or saying if there's only small rice left in the house her own children should have it while the step child drinks garri since after all she works for her children.

pickabeau1:


I mean someone who is not threatened by the step child but knows that the kids are her hubbys and treats him as a human

I may not love this kid but I will not maltreat her
Its not a natural thing

Gotcha...

But you know some people are just naturally wicked and irritant to things that aren't theirs? That's my point all along, these ladies mind are hardenedly conditioned to be mean. They only have their eyes on the man and nothing else matters.

See how they treat their domestic helps for example. We read that here every time.

Ewuro4:


Gotcha...

But you know some people are just naturally wicked and irritant to things that aren't theirs? That's my point all along, these ladies mind are hardenedly conditioned to be mean. They only have their eyes on the man and nothing else matters.

See how they treat their domestic helps for example. We read that here every time.

Good we are clear
Hence I use the word matured or exposed

They rise above the average mindset

The man is also at fault, why is he filling your head with negative things about his child's mother? He should know that will make you biased towards her and that will trickle down to the child

Op you have no business with the slut and cheater treat your step kid right please. One good turn deserves another and remember that karma is not theory but REAL.

I rest my case.

crackhaus:

Yes I'm desperate at getting her attention, now can you fvck off since you have succeeded in getting my attention you so crave?

Cococandy don turn Genevieve whose attention should be desired, what putrid nonsense...

What exactly was that sentence for?
that whole post could have still existed without the first part.
But no, every thread has to denigrate into crackhaus vs cococandy
you know what your friends on romance section do? They create a thread for themselves! You can try that too, something like 'crackhacandy's lounge' that way, nobody'll disturb you



and if you think I'll use all those vulgar words back on you, you're on a really long ride!

The man is not helping issues either
Why badmouth his ex, the mother of his child, especially when he knows how jealous and insecure his current gf is.
Is he helping his daughter? his relationship with the poster or even with his ex?
Will he be the first man with a baby momma?
He needs to be mature about things

The poster too needs to get rid of all these insecurities and have an open heart and arms . . .that is what moms do
If you feel that your man still has a soft spot for his baby momma, then walk away.
There will always be a bond between them, whether you like or not.
Thats what you sign up for when you go with someone with baggage.
Not everyone can deal with it, but its best not to even get involved int he first instance if you know that you dont have the power to deal with sharing your man with the other loved ones in his life.