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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives (276280 Views)
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Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 11:37am On Feb 19, 2015 |
ichidodo:Hmmm ok. Thanks a lot. Babayosisi really tired. She still ended up with a very wonderful person. All heads at not the same. Like my father use to tell us, we are 4 girls and just a boy. He would always say we shouldn't look at the fact that my sister married a well to do man and say we must do same. He would say we should forget the fact that we are from one parent because we all have different heads and destinies, Herz you might meet a carpenter trust me his progress might start from you and it might be after you even marry him so always be who you are and look down on nobody. I always have that at the back of my mind. Lakes is every woman's dream and the tot of dad's NO scares me. 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 11:39am On Feb 19, 2015 |
Kimoni:That is his daughter not yours and those are his paternal instincts, observing very well that no yoruba man has gotten that level of police investigative experience in igboland to take a wild guess if we are saints or not.We will leave that to our cultural value system.... |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 11:39am On Feb 19, 2015 |
delightful1:Wow. Thank you so much, this will sure go a Long way. This guy has proven to be a wonderful man in all ramification and I wonder if there is someone better out there. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 11:42am On Feb 19, 2015 |
ichidodo: Interesting! You are actually comparing Western marriages to a particular airliner with a history of air crashes Which a mother will never allow her daughter to get into no matter the "external facade" it displays? You've got a lot of things twisted, right? 6 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 11:46am On Feb 19, 2015 |
ichidodo: No Yoruba man has gotten that level of police investigative experience in Igboland? I can't make head or tail of this post. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 11:51am On Feb 19, 2015 |
Kimoni:You can bring your own analogy to dispute it instead of rhetorics.... |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 11:56am On Feb 19, 2015 |
urchbarbie:Na wa o. What's with it must he Igbo sef? I don't even know how to speak the language but you will mistake my parent for Igbo's and maybe its because they spent a better part of their lives there, they speak the language like kilode. My mum even speaks dialect, if somebody speaks in the market she would say that's ogwu, that's mbano, that's oraifete, that's arochukwu, that's ohiafia, that's mbaise, that's abo-mbaise, that's obowo, that's orlu, that's nnewi and so on ( I don't know if I got their spellings gan) and me I will just be nodding because I don't know anyone. My dear the thing don tire me jor. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 12:00pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Kimoni:Sure you can...just think out of the box. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by yuzed(f): 12:09pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
I combined all three togeher and believe me it was not easy. I,m currently working and running a part time programme. I had my baby in 2013 when I was in 200L. If not for my husband and supportive in-laws, I would have dropped one, either the work or school. it was not easy and I won't try such again. Goodluck. cococandy: |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 12:12pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
ichidodo: Think out of the box you say - that's what my life entails, that's what my job requires but I could never think out of the box on a senseless post. The post has to first be meaningful 5 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 12:17pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
ichidodo: No doubt you are a tribal bigot yourself. Your advice would hurt the poor girl more than the encouragement and enlightenment she needs. But it's her life and her choices finally. 8 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Lilimax(f): 12:23pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Such an interesting thread!. Well done Babyosisi and all the contributors? I'm coming back to share my own experience of over 10 years |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by urchbarbie(f): 12:32pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Lol @mums comprehension of dialects. Its well. Marry? We must, and to d right ppl too. Herzumpther: |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 12:37pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Kimoni:Who cares what your job looks like..with your nosy background we can go on a limb and guess it involves sniffing behind goats buttocks...Excuse us. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 12:37pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Odillz:... abeg, don't fake madness ooo.. just talk it through with them... |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 12:38pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Lilimax:We await your response Ma.. 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Odillz: 12:48pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 12:49pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Kimoni:It only takes a tribal bigot to read meaning into every little innocent gestures....If a man-how much more a seasoned police investigator- is a tribal bigot for looking out for his own daughter then let him be,afterall tis his daughter and his experience that matter..Not ours...And we don't see how our encouragement can help change his mind either.…It is not as if you would practice what you preach if you was in his shoes. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 12:57pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
ichidodo: You are the tribal bigot here, not him. He means well for his daughter and he just needs some bit of conviction to change his mind. 5 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 1:00pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
ichidodo: Whatever it is, at least it involves me thinking sensibly out of the box and not having to sniff out tribalistic comments. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:03pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
urchbarbie:Thanks dear and marry we must. Lol. 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 1:05pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Kimoni:You're now being hypocritical because you want (hook or crook) your country man to marry the girl,you stylishly avoided calling her father a tribal bigot but you accuse us of the same thing the father is keen on to avoid the predicament of his friend's daughter.......See your life. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:10pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
MarvellousGod:Did she say she will fake madness? How come I didn't see that? Come Odillz if you fake madness they will take you for madness treatment and then you will start taking mad people's drugs and if your head too correct you go begin another system of madness o .... Funny woman faking anything is not an option jor. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by christabeli: 1:12pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
ichidodo:Do you want to turn this beautiful thread into a war zone? you have given your advice, please let it go 10 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 1:12pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Kimoni:Not our problem seeing that you're acting true to your job description sniffing goat's bottoms and ichidodo's comments...we cannot be bothered. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Odillz: 1:15pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Herzumpther:It worked sha I said it to make you laugh |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:19pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Odillz:Oopsss. Thank you jare. We will just do movies on sat. Thanks again. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Odillz: 1:21pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Herzumpther:If only we would be able to gist wella o |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:23pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Odillz:Hmmm. OK till then. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:26pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Herzumpther: Herz, I know how much you love your dad.... I happen to be my dad's only daughter, first child too and you need to see the look on the man's face when he's introducing me to people....the 'meet my only daughter' part amuses me like is that my name? All these story just to tell you nobody understands a father-daughter bond as much as I do.... I used to think my aversion to offending my dad was out of fear until I moved faaaaar away across seas and oceans (where even if he wants to touch me, he needs a minimum of 48 hours to reach) and I still cannot stand offending the man. If the man calls me on phone now and says 'aluta, why did you do this' even with the slightest form of anger in his voice, my next 2 days don spoil be that. Na so I go dey feel terrible....that was when I knew it was just out of love that I cannot say 'no' to the man. However, over the years, I have come to realise that we cannot live our parent's lives for them. My dad is much more over-bearing, last time I came home, he was almost dictating clothes to put on for me (said I was spilling cleavage ...na just small show oo ).....At some point, you would have to look dad in the face and tell him it's Lekan you want or no-one else. The last guy I and my parents had a discussion about, myself, I had freed him anyways, so, when my mum started giving 1001 reasons not to be with him, I didn't really bother. But I know if that guy was all I wanted, we would have had to talk through those reasons. Let your dad know point blank with tears in your eyes and all the seriousness in the world that if Lekan should go, he should sha know that is it. No hubby again! I'm sure he doesn't want that Our parenrs have lives their lives, made their mistakes, had their failures and successes, taken their risks and that is what has shapened them. Tbaba created a thread some days ago the cowardice of parents, and I totally understand them. Parents are naturally inclined to protect their children but sometimes, they overdo it even without them knowing. After all these cajoling and begging, I sincerely hope it works, but if it doesn't, it's time to a big girl for daddy for just some few minutes. It's gonna be tough, as I dey type sef, me sef no know if I fit but it's your last resort. Your instincts, mind and all are totally with this guy, dad needs a better reason that his yorubaness to deny you of such love. The downside to this method is that you might end up with dad's permissive will, with faith that all works out well, might take a few years for dad to finally warm up to him. No one knows the future, anything can happen! But you just have to hope for the best. Dad's choice might be right or wrong, your choice might be right or wrong. God forbid but even if this is a mistake, you want it to be yours and not dad's! I wish you all the best! -Aluta! 21 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:26pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
MarvellousGod:is it people having problems with conception dat only need the thread?I think its also to educate people and also learn more frm there,can u send me the link |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by BABE3: 1:31pm On Feb 19, 2015 |
Herzumpther, I'm so sorry to burst your bubble. Since your dad is against you marrying this guy, you'll need to let go of the emotions/butterlies and start doing your homework about the guy, logically. The worst place to be in a marriage as a woman, is having a bad spouse and having parents that warned you against him. You'll be completely alone if you later find out this man isn't who you think he is. so firstly, -you said he shuttles from Nigeria to america. Have you made sure he doesn't have a second life in America? secondly, -you said he's a virgin and you're not. I think it's important to make sure you're sexùally compatible. I don't know how that'll happen but I believe it's important, to avoid stories that touch sexùal incompatibility which often leads to infidelity is a leading cause of divorce. thirdly, -How well do you know him ? Knowing someone on the surface is way different from knowing someone on a deep level. You should ponder on those. Get a pen and paper. Let go of emotions. Do your pros and cons list. Do a background check too. 5 Likes 1 Share |
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