sinaj:
derez no nid knowin if they will b rich ...coz i will b rich

smada13:



though your position is good, you need to be careful with it cuz a few ladies with your kind of mentality are in the society without a man...and I guess you know the tag the society has placed on such ladies.........

and on a second thought, your using "they" means you'll take a sample of the guys around before settling for one....a gold-digging tendency... or what are you trying to say dear....

missjenna:
Yes it works for cheap and purposeless ladies
This stuff can't work on me. I am an independent and purpose driven woman. I ride the vehicle of my life. I can never take the back seat.

ArchEnemy:
Cos men ve that ego that exudes superiority
He wants to call the shots and be the one the family depends on
When the wife is more wealthy, this becomes a threat

alberto2k:
I've never felt insecure being around independent ladies..

Even if the richest woman in Africa or any other lady with great reputation comes around

Omo we go rub shoulders, after all she's human and she doesn't bite

Logicalmind:

Being around them is different from dating them. That's my point

To think you were the first Nairalander to antagonised Missjenna.

alberto2k:


Yeah... Dating their kind ain't easy but if you're comfortable around them, then it's easier to get into a relationship with their kind


And about missjenna... I antagonized her cuz I thought she was a troll.
But I guess am wrong

And Op, sorry about the other day... You got on my nerves and things got creepy

Lo siento hermano (I'm sorry bro)

Logicalmind:

Alright, No P.

You live in spain or just know how to write Spanish?

sinaj:
wot we all shud know iz dat Man iz insatiable nd d most important thing iz duin wot pleases us.Some guyz wil prefer independent girls why some will prefer housewives.If a man loves a woman he will overlook her being a jackie( industrious) or lazy person. We should neva sacrifice our happiness to plz anyone.
some men get scared dat a wealthy woman tends to disrespect but itz not true coz women are naturally weak and always crave for love nd support no matter her status in d society nd ...

Enegod:
I think the the word "independent" is the problem. That word means on your own, stand alone, ect. Where does that fit with the word relationship. We aren't insecure, we are tired of trying to have relationships with women whose mindset repels the idea of any kind of unity...

PunkyBrewster:


What do you mean by "women are naturally weak"?

alberto2k:


I don't write only... I understand and speak Spanish

I learnt it on my own tho, taught my ex a little of it and next thing was, she learnt and practiced seriously and started speaking mad Spanish

I was shocked the day she sang Alguien te amo by Enrique iglesias...

justmag:
I have never date a woman who wasn't independent. It's not my preference but it's just how it has been. Well! In nigeria, sometimes! when a man's money is no longer a factor, they don't know how to talk to women.

sinaj:
an average woman depend on man for love and security nd not mainly financial need...

u are entitled to ur own opinion though...

ronald4lif:
Another interesting topic...

The male ego is extremely fragile and this is all the more true for the Nigerian male. They must be the bread-winner, must provide for their families. Men still are expected to pick up the check on a first date. The ultimate prize for any alpha male is always financial. Having the woman earn more often leads to a deflated ego, depression and general bitterness. So how does a man handle a successful woman? Oh well

So let’s not take the ultra feminist stance, that won’t help the already egoistic Nigerian men to cope with the fact that his wife/girlfriend is more successful than him. Flaunt your success by all means but don’t belittle your spouse for being less successful in any way, even in jest. For a man, the key is to be open minded and be strong. If your relationship is based on a strong foundation of love and commitment, the pay check should not matter. You should be a team. You go out, you buy things, you party, and you invest together. You do all this together. When you feel smaller in any way, talk about it. When you feel low, express it.

Differences in salaries should not be a hindrance when it comes to relationships. Men need to let go of their egos and women need to make their men feel special. This is an age old debate and there are no definite sides to take. There are some matured and settled men who have no problems with their wives being more successful and richer. And then there are men who will feel threatened by their wives earning more.

Having Nigerian men not get intimidated by successful women may never happen. We're way too egocentric and believes we must call the shots at the home front. And that our women should do our biddings always. Successful women will always want to have an opinion on matters of the home (which is very okay) but most Nigerian men will always want to subvert or disregard their wives opinion. Theirs should be final. This is where their ego gets deflated hence their insecurity on successful women.

MzNelly:
{Some} men need their egos stroked. An "independent" woman isn't going to do that for them.
They want to be on top of every situation, pay every meal, buy her clothes and feel like the MAN.

Yet, these same ones will scream and wail "gold diggers" when a woman comes after them for their money.

Pfft, and they call us complicated.

ronald4lif:


I am the man, remember

Logicalmind:
Ronald4lif, Nice one.

Mznelly, nice one and thanks for using "some".

Logicalmind:

Cool

You stay in Nigeria, right? What state?

You attended Spanish class?

Lemme nuh lie o
@logicalmind since you mentioned me, I hope you are ready for epistle.

While it is out of topic, I have to state that there are times when I feel insecure and act downright childish (try dating me after I just let go of a sad relationship )

Now, when I am very emotionally healthy, I am so joyful and I get my validation from within, whether a man is in my life or not.
Please don't misconstrue this, it is not pride.
The typical Nigerian man sees an eloquent and self-expressive lady as a thorn in the flesh and a plausible future problem.


It's just that I am a people person.
I know people on NL who have said very wrong things about me to others.
They don't understand how a lady can be so full of life and attract a following without going dirty, ultimately doing her best to maintain her integrity even while relating with all and sundry.

The typical Nigerian boyfriend would want his girl's world to revolve around him, I'd want that too.
But being who I am......if I am not relating with people (male and female alike) and adding value to lives in the ways that I can, I am usually a shadow of my real self.

A lady could be termed independent if she doesn't depend on her man for these major things.......

Love and Affection
Money

That money part is what irks me most.
I don't know how to ask for money.
It's not as if I don't like money o, mbanu.
But I barely ask like most ladies my age would, not because I don't want, but I no just sabi
I should take a course in that already.
I'd prefer the guy to give me with his church mind, if necessary.
Plus, the little I earn sustains me.
I hate giving anyone the idea I am their responsibility.

After all is said and done, I think moderation is key.
One thing I have observed is that we "independent" ladies are prone to pride.
So we have to watch it.
No one, not even Margaret Thatcher (Bless Her Soul) likes to feel unneeded/unwanted.

Maintain a posture of humility, keep your independent-mindedness intact.....you'll need it on a very rainy day.

I could write a dissertation on this, but this should suffice for now.
If you do not understand me clearly, before you draw your conclusions, please ask questions

ronald4lif:
Another interesting topic...

The male ego is extremely fragile and this is all the more true for the Nigerian male. They must be the bread-winner, must provide for their families. Men still are expected to pick up the check on a first date. The ultimate prize for any alpha male is always financial. Having the woman earn more often leads to a deflated ego, depression and general bitterness. So how does a man handle a successful woman? Oh well

So let’s not take the ultra feminist stance, that won’t help the already egoistic Nigerian men to cope with the fact that his wife/girlfriend is more successful than him. Flaunt your success by all means but don’t belittle your spouse for being less successful in any way, even in jest. For a man, the key is to be open minded and be strong. If your relationship is based on a strong foundation of love and commitment, the pay check should not matter. You should be a team. You go out, you buy things, you party, and you invest together. You do all this together. When you feel smaller in any way, talk about it. When you feel low, express it.

Differences in salaries should not be a hindrance when it comes to relationships. Men need to let go of their egos and women need to make their men feel special. This is an age old debate and there are no definite sides to take. There are some matured and settled men who have no problems with their wives being more successful and richer. And then there are men who will feel threatened by their wives earning more.

Having Nigerian men not get intimidated by successful women may never happen. We're way too egocentric and believes we must call the shots at the home front. And that our women should do our biddings always. Successful women will always want to have an opinion on matters of the home (which is very okay) but most Nigerian men will always want to subvert or disregard their wives opinion. Theirs should be final. This is where their ego gets deflated hence their insecurity on successful women.

alberto2k:


I stay in PH (schooling)
But I use to live in north, kaduna precisely

Never attended any Spanish class rara

Back in school when its the french teacher's period... I dey run go hide for canteen

The man go just come dey speak parables of Louis and Francis
I had to cram badly to pass his subject

I fell inlove with Mexican culture, that's where everything All started.
I wish to live in a Spanish speaking country someday

alberto2k:


O dey! Oshey baba

Your IQ don dey clock 300

Wetin we go call you now?
Cuz super intelligence human is not enough