Stats: 3,191,316 members, 7,943,781 topics. Date: Monday, 09 September 2024 at 01:18 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women (17552 Views)
Why Do Most Men Get Sleepy After Sex? / Why Do Only Men Feel Dizzy After Sex? / **Differences Between Independent Women And The Broke Ones** (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply) (Go Down)
Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 12:48pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
Most men not ALL feel insecured about independent lady. For me, I don't care whether a lady is independent or not because i'll marry her irregardless of her financial status - fùck submissiveness. What I care about is a loving, educated, intelligent and caring wife. With submissiveness, some men still don't respect their wife. When "Missjenna" posted that about being an independent lady who won't depend on a man, she was bashed all through. I don't care whether she was telling the truth or not because some people were insinuating that she's a pseudo-female moniker, but it seems most guys on this section/forum hate independent ladies but they'd still bash ladies who crave for her husband to provide everything for her. Confusionists I stumbled upon an old thread this morning and Sinaj made this comment; sinaj: She got a reply which i found shocking, disheartening and sexist in a way. smada13: Now, this dude; 1) Felt that unmarried ladies are embittered about their single life but I doubt it - I won't deny the fact that some of them aren't happy. In my opinion, I feel it's guys that are desperate about marriage with the way they bash single ladies e.g Genevieve Nnaji, Rita Dominic and colleague who hasn't gotten married. Chimamanda would have been a victim but she's happily married. 2) This dude feel that unmarried ladies are placed with a bad tag - I think NairaLand is only place where sexists flex their power. So I doubt this claim. No one cares about the life of a single lady in the real world. My fellow men, why are you bashing women? I've read feminism articles, and it seems feminist/independent women also dislike men that are insecure about them. Is the feeling mutual? ![]() 30 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by alberto2k(m): 12:53pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
I've never felt insecure being around independent ladies.. ![]() Even if the richest woman in Africa or any other lady with great reputation comes around ![]() Omo we go rub shoulders, after all she's human and she doesn't bite ![]() missjenna: 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by ArchEnemy(m): 12:55pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
Cos men ve that ego that exudes superiority He wants to call the shots and be the one the family depends on When the wife is more wealthy, this becomes a threat Addendum ...I however believe its all about the lady's attitude. if she is submissive it wont bring much issues 10 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 12:58pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
ArchEnemy:Yeah. I understand--why are some of us living a double life. The same man that would bash an independent lady will also complain about gold-diggers. ssriously? ![]() 18 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by sinaj(f): 12:59pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
wot we all shud know iz dat Man iz insatiable nd d most important thing iz duin wot pleases us.Some guyz wil prefer independent girls why some will prefer housewives.If a man loves a woman he will overlook her being a jackie( industrious) or lazy person. We should neva sacrifice our happiness to plz anyone. some men get scared dat a wealthy woman tends to disrespect but itz not true coz women are naturally weak and always crave for love nd support no matter her status in d society nd ... 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:00pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
First of all, I would say that I made that comment as a result of the nature of the thread with which it was commented on. Coming to the concept of independence, I don't think there is any thing like total independence. No human, man or woman can be totally independent of the other. When you term a lady or when a lady terms herself as independent, all she is trying to say is that she does not totally rely on any man for her upkeep and her day to day survival. She believes that she has the right to tell which direction her life should go. Having said that, let me also say this I believe every human being has a innate tepid narcissistic trait that is masked by their outward characters This trait is also accompanied by a fragile ego and sense of importance above the opposite gender. This mellow trait however expresses it self more in the masculine gender. Asides this, humanity have for long been bombarded with tales from legend and religion that glorifies the male gender above the female. This has so far created a kind of belief that a man should be the one in charge, the one in control, the one at the top. When you look at the power structures of the world, not excluding our Nigerian traditions, you would find out that women are most times relegated to the post of follower instead of leader. When a man sees a woman that is "independent", it kinds of threatens that mild narcissistic trait At first he feels a complex mixture of fear,annoyance, insecurity and surprise Then depending on his personality, his subconscious tries to see if it can conjure up a mechanism to counter this threat. Either he decides to hate her and stay away Or He becomes intrigued by her, creating a sense of respect which makes him want to get close to her. But most times, most men tend to go in the way of the former. Most men just don't feel women should be above them in any way. They have this feeling that every woman should want them. That we can't cope without them. The fact that a woman can be "independent" is in a way alien to them and when they see this, they are caught aback. Actually, no man wants a woman they can't control. They don't want any woman that threatens their supremacy, hence their reaction. One mistake most "independent" women make is to let pride get in the way. They feel a grandiose sense of achievement and importance which makes them see themselves as not on equal par with most men that might try to approach them or get to know them I think this also makes men stay away from them Op, you also said that most feminist women hate men that are insecure about them. Well I don't think we hate them. We are just irritated by the fact that they would feel insecure about us. I myself like men who are not intimidated by me. Op, I hope I helped Thanks 29 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:01pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
alberto2k:Being around them is different from dating them. That's my point To think you were the first Nairalander to antagonised Missjenna. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:05pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
OP, I think the feeling is mutual. ![]() ![]() From a renowned feminist... 10 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by alberto2k(m): 1:11pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
Logicalmind: Yeah... Dating their kind ain't easy but if you're comfortable around them, then it's easier to get into a relationship with their kind And about missjenna... I antagonized her cuz I thought she was a troll. But I guess am wrong ![]() And Op, sorry about the other day... You got on my nerves and things got creepy ![]() Lo siento hermano (I'm sorry bro) |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:15pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
alberto2k:Alright, No P. You live in spain or just know how to write Spanish? |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Enegod(m): 1:21pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
I think the the word "independent" is the problem. That word means on your own, stand alone, etc. Where does that fit with the word relationship. We aren't insecure, we are tired of trying to have relationships with women whose mindset repels the idea of any kind of unity... ![]() 24 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by alberto2k(m): 1:24pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
Logicalmind: I don't write only... I understand and speak Spanish I learnt it on my own tho, taught my ex a little of it and next thing was, she learnt and practiced seriously and started speaking mad Spanish ![]() I was shocked the day she sang Alguien te amo by Enrique iglesias... |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by justmag(m): 1:29pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
I have never date a woman who wasn't independent. It's not my preference but it's just how it has been. Well! In nigeria, sometimes! when a man's money is no longer a factor, they don't know how to talk to women. 8 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:31pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
sinaj: What do you mean by "women are naturally weak"? 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by ronald4lif(m): 1:40pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
Another interesting topic... The male ego is extremely fragile and this is all the more true for the Nigerian male. They must be the bread-winner, must provide for their families. Men still are expected to pick up the check on a first date. The ultimate prize for any alpha male is always financial. Having the woman earn more often leads to a deflated ego, depression and general bitterness. So how does a man handle a successful woman? Oh well So let’s not take the ultra feminist stance, that won’t help the already egoistic Nigerian men to cope with the fact that his wife/girlfriend is more successful than him. Flaunt your success by all means but don’t belittle your spouse for being less successful in any way, even in jest. For a man, the key is to be open minded and be strong. If your relationship is based on a strong foundation of love and commitment, the pay check should not matter. You should be a team. You go out, you buy things, you party, and you invest together. You do all this together. When you feel smaller in any way, talk about it. When you feel low, express it. Differences in salaries should not be a hindrance when it comes to relationships. Men need to let go of their egos and women need to make their men feel special. This is an age old debate and there are no definite sides to take. There are some matured and settled men who have no problems with their wives being more successful and richer. And then there are men who will feel threatened by their wives earning more. Having Nigerian men not get intimidated by successful women may never happen. We're way too egocentric and believes we must call the shots at the home front. And that our women should do our biddings always. Successful women will always want to have an opinion on matters of the home (which is very okay) but most Nigerian men will always want to subvert or disregard their wives opinion. Theirs should be final. This is where their ego gets deflated hence their insecurity on successful women. 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:41pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
Enegod:Independent means different kind of thing. In this aspect, it means entirely different thing as you are insinuating. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by sinaj(f): 1:41pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
PunkyBrewster:an average woman depend on man for love and security nd not mainly financial need... u are entitled to ur own opinion though... 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:42pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
{Some} men need their egos stroked. An "independent" woman isn't going to do that for them. They want to be on top of every situation, pay every meal, buy her clothes and feel like the MAN. Yet, these same ones will scream and wail "gold diggers" when a woman comes after them for their money. Pfft, and they call us complicated. 6 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:43pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
alberto2k:Cool ![]() You stay in Nigeria, right? What state? You attended Spanish class? |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by ronald4lif(m): 1:47pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
justmag: Or it could be that since they don't have money, which is what many girls rely on, the guys conclude there's nothing to talk about, not necessarily that they don't know how to talk to women. |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:48pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
Ronald4lif, Nice one. ![]() Mznelly, nice one and thanks for using "some". ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:49pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
sinaj: Ok |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:49pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
ronald4lif: God bless my son with a brain like yours. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by ronald4lif(m): 1:49pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
MzNelly: I am the man, remember ![]() |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 1:52pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by ronald4lif(m): 1:54pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
Logicalmind: You're welcome bro. The floor is still open for others, especially those you tagged. Will be dropping by to check on their reaction 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by alberto2k(m): 1:55pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
Logicalmind: I stay in PH (schooling) But I use to live in north, kaduna precisely Never attended any Spanish class rara Back in school when its the french teacher's period... I dey run go hide for canteen ![]() The man go just come dey speak parables of Louis and Francis ![]() I had to cram badly to pass his subject I fell inlove with Mexican culture, that's where everything All started. ![]() I wish to live in a Spanish speaking country someday 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by MizMyColi(f): 1:56pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
Lemme nuh lie o 4 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by alberto2k(m): 2:00pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
ronald4lif: O dey! Oshey baba Your IQ don dey clock 300 ![]() Wetin we go call you now? Cuz super intelligence human is not enough ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by alberto2k(m): 2:03pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
[quote author=MizMyColi post=31136877][/quote] Female version of ronald4lif ![]() |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by Nobody: 2:14pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
alberto2k:Alright. Nice |
Re: Why Do Most Men Feel Insecured About Independent Women by ronald4lif(m): 2:15pm On Feb 27, 2015 |
alberto2k: Lol! Baba I dey learn work from you na ![]() |
I Will Reveal My True Identity On 15th , June / How I Slept With My Brother's Wife Sister. / Couple Sends Best-man To Prison Over Wedding Suit
Viewing this topic: 1 guest(s)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 76 |