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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated (1358 Views)
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If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by nairamaverick(m): 2:09pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
The worst part of being manipulated in a relationship is that quite often you don’t even know it’s happening. Manipulative people twist your thoughts, actions, wants and desires into something that better suits how they see the world and they mold you into someone that serves their own purposes. Scary, right? Here’s a few biggies to look out for to make sure it’s not happening to you: 1. He makes you feel guilty … for everything. Manipulation always start with guilt. If he can convince you to feel guilty for your actions (even when you’ve done nothing wrong), then he knows you’ll be more willing to do what he says. “I mean sure, I guess dinner was OK. It wasn’t what I was hoping for and I would have rather done something different but I guess as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. I love you and it’s important to me that you are happy, even if that means setting aside what I want.” See what he did there? How he turned that around you? On the surface, he makes it seem like he’s a loving boyfriend but spoiler alert: guilt is not love. Manipulators also try and make you believe that they’re doing a better job of “loving you,” so that you’ll be more willing to set aside what you want in order to feel like you “love him just as much.” It’s a sick mind game. 2. He forces his insecurities on you. Manipulators will often force their own insecurities on you in an effort to control how you react towards him. “I’ve been cheated on before and that’s why I don’t want you to have any male friends. You can understand that, right?” Yes, of course you can understand that (and you should be conscious of his insecurities), but his struggles should not define the functionality of your relationship. “I’m sorry I acted that way but I’m just so scared that you will leave me!" is an excuse that’s often used by manipulators when you point out flaws in his actions. The sheer purpose of that excuse is to take the focus off of your worries and suck you back into this. There’s a fine line between showing consideration for his feelings and being manipulated into feeling what he wants you to feel. Consideration is shown with love while manipulation is ruled by guilt. 3. He makes you doubt yourself. Want to know why it’s so easy for him to be manipulated? Because he’s mind-f*cked you to the point where you no longer trust yourself. That’s right, manipulators take your insecurities and use them against you. They consistently point out what you’re doing “wrong” and how they could have done it better. They point out your weaknesses, then show you that with their help, you can do better, be better. They slowly convince you they have your best interests in mind … but they don’t. They have their best interests in mind. And in order to keep their wants and needs at the forefront of your relationship, they gently twist your thinking until you look to him for guidance on everything. Once that happens, manipulators can make you basically do whatever they want you to because you now trust them more than you trust yourself. 4. He makes you responsible for his own emotions. Manipulators are ironic in the sense that they spend quite a bit of time making you feel as if you can’t think for yourself but then turn around and make you responsible for all of their emotions. If they feel sad, it’s probably because you made them feel that way. If they’re angry, well, you had better check yourself because you obviously did something wrong. For as much as they take away from you and for as much as they make you believe that you’re totally incapable of controlling your own life, they expect you to be responsible for how they feel. INSANE. 5. He makes you believe that you want what he wants. We all start out relationships with requirements and deal-breakers but it’s natural, as you start to blend two lives, that compromises are made. What’s NOT normal: When you have to completely set aside what you want and need in an effort to appease your partner. If you start to realize your partner’s needs are being met far more often than yours are, you might be married to a manipulator. Are you giving in to what he wants out of feelings of guilt or because he has made you feel responsible for the way he feels? Have you given up what YOU want because he’s made you believe that you should want something else? If you have answered “yes” to any of those questions, you might want to reconsider the relationship. |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by mizkeleke(f): 2:17pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Hmmmmm this is strong ooh. Can't imagine someone manipulating me |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by BeeBeeOoh(m): 2:19pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Just reading & observing this thread far awar from mercury.. |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by nairamaverick(m): 2:19pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
mizkeleke: you won't know |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by Nobody: 2:21pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
farano...... |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by mizkeleke(f): 2:22pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
nairamaverick:Guess I would |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by Activity77(m): 2:23pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Seriously am tired of all these...habaaaa 2day an 5tins 2moro 10 tins......abt woman Nxt 2moro d same..... Make una use dt brain tink out beta tin abi na woman we come here 4 I don talk ma own 1 Like |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by Nobody: 2:23pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
@ op u are vry correct |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by ZedX5: 2:23pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
This is not the problem. The problem is that most of them ladies are fvcking confused and do not know what they want. They'll have a guy that treats them better than what you've listed, and guess what, they still aren't fvcking satisfied! |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by boboLIL(m): 2:24pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Dis one na **loving in bondage*** |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by deskossy(m): 2:27pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
All the things about relationships is getting boring. . |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by Enegod(m): 2:31pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by Nobody: 2:33pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Wow u got me thinking....* pensive* |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by nairamaverick(m): 2:37pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
mizkeleke:well, if you say so |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by marveangel(m): 2:43pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Okay ooo |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by tosyne2much(m): 2:50pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
I can't imagine myself manipulating my boo |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by cyprianlah(m): 3:03pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Busted cant we watch our dirty linens indoors for once just pray Amaka shouldn't see this thread o |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by chimerase2: 4:26pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by Stunner1(f): 4:45pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Re: If Your Guy Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated by MrIncrediible(m): 4:50pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
mizkeleke:That's why it's called Manipulation..you won't know |
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