Please read and share your thoughts.....................

''I'm a divorced lady. My marriage to my ex was based on lots of deceit with
both physical and emotional abuse. The only option was just for it to be
dissolved. Mind you I prayed and fasted but water could not just hold. I
had to question God for putting me through such pain and trauma but I guess his plan for me was for good.

But my problem now is each time I meet someone nice and I mention to hi that I'm divorced, the relationship ends. He'll apologize and say I've done
nothing wrong, I have a good personality but he knows his family will not accept me cos of my marital status.

It makes me cry a lot. I'm the quiet
type and keep to myself a lot. I've tried talking to some people and they
advice I stop telling them am divorced.

But how will I keep such a thing away from someone that has maybe
professed love to you even when the person has gone to the extent of
telling you he'll like to spend the rest of his life with you?

My conscience won't let me but I don't know again the right thing to do.

Right now I feel lonely and frustrated, no boyfriend or man to call my
own. Scared of loving again because I don't want to fall in love and be
told same thing.

I just want to know how to go about it, open up or don't even talk about
it.''

Don't wait for too long or to get attached before saying the truth. If I were the lady in question, I would probably say it on day one.

Its good to talk abt ur past wen u r in a new rship. Buh sadly enuf, d ladies aren't open in dis matter

The best love is accepting people from who they are. Someone will someday n it maybe sooner than you think. If God is close to you then the devil will be far away.

Op, any child from the former marriage?. Are they staying with you?. Are you a working class or a business woman?.

op,if someone truly loves you the tend to forget ur pass,a better man will. come av seen a divorced mother of three married again.in as much as u hold strong faith in God ,he wwill make a way where there seems to b no way.tell them about the past relationship if the love the will stick around.goodluck.

She is yet to meet her soulmate!

Keep telling......a true love will stay





Any true luv still dey?

let your past not disturb you

being divorce is not a crime neither is it s death sentence .. You can still love and be loved in return


The culture in Nigeria makes people frown at divorce and most esp for young single men it is a no no and trust me when I say his family members will be breathing down his throat before he makes the decision though there are exceptions. I know of a guy who moved to Nigeria with his mum he his going out with a woman who gave birth outside wedlock and they are doing just fine.


For your status look for older men who are single, or men who are divorce who share the same feelings with you.

this is my two cents

Whoever can't accept you for who you are should just swerve. Don't ever lie about your status, make it clear from the very first day cos lying about it isn't just the right thing to do. What if you lie about it and he finds out later? That could lead to another divorce if you're already in another marriage.

[size=20pt]Just wanna let you know that there's that man somewhere who's ready to accept you for who you are![/size]

It is good to be open in a relationship. Telling the truth is usually hard especially when you know that it may spoil things. But it is better to tell the truth and have a clear conscience.
Some people will advice you not to tell the truth because of the reaction you might get but marriage is such a long journey for you to embark on with an unclear conscience.
Remember, if you tell the truth, it becomes part of your past but if you tell a lie and pretend that everything is fine, it becomes part of your future. It is like postponing the evil day.

My belief is that you will eventually find someone who will love you irrespective of your past.

Ok

Eeyah. Then you chill na. Marriage is not by force.

.....

Sorry about your predicament OP
When the person that truly loves you for who you are comes your way,he will stay with you cos its your past and you cant run away from it,so if you meet anybody that likes you and wanna marry you,you'll have to tell him the status quo

Simple. Stop telling them, until they ask you

Stop telling them.
Not everyone is matured, they keep judging you by your past. There is a reason it is called the past now.

Sorry I don't usually comment on relationship based issues, but then







I think you should mention it from the beginning.










B

Must u tell them?

Stop telling them about your past. Rather, tell them more about your present, and your future.

Don't forget what the bible says. It says, 'when a man be in Christ, old things are past away,........he's a new creature.
==============================

Any man you disclose your marital status to and chickens out is actually not a good man for you. In fact, you should keep telling them about your past, it's a way of identifying the real man.

Real men don't judge ladies by their past, but judge them by their present and their future. Likewise real women! They only use their past to observe if truly they've turned new leaves.

Booked

HEY NA WA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
YOU TOLD THEM AND THE LOVE VANISHES.Then stop telling them na, better decieve them else you will remain unhappy.Even if you want to reveal the secret, do it after 20 yrs of marriage. .

Those people advising her not to tell them na wa oo. How can she hide such a thing from them? Even if they eventually get to marriage, she has to fill the marriage form at the court which will ask for her status before marriage.

Op I advise you even tell them as soon as you become friends. Find a way to chip it in somehow, I also think you haven't found that person who will love and accept you for who you are. In my opinion, good riddance to those other men, they won't have been able to love you.

I don't believe this story entirely because you never mentioned that you have a kid or kids already. So, why shud men run from you cos you were once married? As far as I'm concerned, there's little or no difference between a divorced lady and a never married non-virgin.

Nevertheless, I think it all depends on YOU. Depending on the atmosphere, You might not necessarily need to tell them from the very 1st day( It might send a wrong signal of being defensive). But there are things you can do to boost your chances of having a good man stay with you:

1. Be happy and Stay Positive:

Let every man that meets you perceive that you are the happy one. Let them die to be around you always. Don't let any man see you as someone that is in a mess.

2. Your Personality has to be Adorable:

Whether we like it or not, we men are always glued to tender-hearted, nice, hospitable ladies. It's every man's joy to have a woman his family loves so much because of her kind gestures, respectfulness and decency.

3. Give your time only to men you perceive as ready to settle:

It won't be wise of you to hang out with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Act maturely, Dress maturely & speak maturely. Give your time only to those men seriously searching for a woman to settle with

4. Whenever you have to tell a new potential Husband about yourself diplomatically tell him about your 1st marriage. You can start by telling him how wicked & heartless men could be( Truly men could be mean), tell him you had to walk away from that marriage to save your life and the future of your unborn kids. Tell him you wanna start over again but this time, you will make sure you give your heart ONLY to the one that deserves it.

5. You might have to be celibate for sometime

Once some men are aware you are divorced, they get turned off immediately. Maybe because it's their philosophy(As far as I'm concerned it's a preposterous ideology). They know they won't marry you but they will wanna have their own cut of your sweet cake. The more reason you need to avoid any sexual activity. If possible, don't give any man VISA to that precious Land until your next wedding night

It's a matter of time,your own love will surely come.Trust me,'you will never walk alöne'

Them stop telling them. Simpe as ABC

then

i wil say you've done no wrong.,u ar nt bn rejectd cos u ar nt gud enuf neida is it cos u ar divorcd. it simply cos that person GOD attachd 2 u is yet 2 meet u. take it frm 1 who knws wat he's saying. ONLY ALLAH KNOWS BEST.

OP. Please always tell them and don't rush into marriage so you won't rush out again. You believe in God, please let him lead you. Don't build your relationship/marriage on deceit.

They run away because they are not the right one, when the right one comes along he would not mind your past. Shalom

Hey here is a solution...stop telling them your past till you know or feel they're ready....

A friend once had such problem which almost destroyed his marriage for not telling the lady of a child outside wedlock until after the wedding. I feel the earlier the better. Whosoever wish to stay should make up his mind from the onset while you tell him your status. If the one is okay by it, he will keep you. Afterall, we have seen widows getting married too. I pray God see you through. God bless Nigeria.

My dear, I will advice u to open up about ur past & if u meet d 1 for u, He won't mind ur past. I also believe that maybe all the men u have been meeting before are not God's best 4 u, so my dear just keep praying & hope for d best from God