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Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by elantraceey(f): 10:25am On Mar 14, 2015 |
First I can't marry a man who hates my own mom that much never , secondly if it was my mum , her humility won't allow her allow me stay in her house when I have a husband instead she'll take us all to his house and talk things out with him , there's definitely a reason why a man will dislike his mother inlaw that much or perhaps he's already tired of the marriage and is finding a way out prolly because he seem to have gotten what he needed. If I was in her shoes at the moment , though this issue might seem trivial but its actually something big and should be trashed out as soon as possible , I for one can't live comfortably with someone that dislikes my mum so if I continue to stay in my mums house I won't be comfortable and same way I still won't be comfortable if I go to his so what I'll do is try to get to the root of the matter , talk to my husband and my mum because I'm the one suffering from their fusel and get to the root of it. 4 Likes |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by freshcvv(m): 10:26am On Mar 14, 2015 |
SmooshCHN: A lot of info are hidden..judging from her writeup alone, one can see that the husband has been blackmailed so badly with all the "good things they did for him" that he now tries to assert his status.. When you keep using the help you rendered someone to maltreat and disrespect him (especially a man), ego kicks in, once his ego is defeated by the blackmail, he turns to a wussy.. This must not be allowed to happen by the man. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Rose2014: 10:27am On Mar 14, 2015 |
DinhoMVP: Really? I hope u'll say the same thing if ur daughter is being physically abused by her husband 1 Like |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by MadCow1: 10:30am On Mar 14, 2015 |
rokiatu: She is obviously a child that shouldn't have been married in the first place.. In the grand scheme, her immediately family comes second to her husband. The way to broker peace between her mother and her husband is not for her to pack his kids and her things and go to her mothers house. If she were my wife, I would simply send my boys to go retrieve my kids. She can stay with her mother till eternity she she so pleases. She needs to get her priorities straight. She seems to still be overly attached to her family at the expense of her immediate family (Her husband and kids). |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by pastorbayo: 10:30am On Mar 14, 2015 |
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Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Rose2014: 10:33am On Mar 14, 2015 |
MadCow1:I bet u didn't read the domestic abuse part abi? Anyway I hope if ur daughters are abused by their husband, this is what u'll advise the man to do |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by SmooshCHN: 10:35am On Mar 14, 2015 |
freshcvv: woodcook: Billyonaire: silvernus0: rokiatu: If you remove the mother from this issue, the marriage is back and happy. My advise she should talk to her Mum that her marriage is important I'm sure her Mum will understand. When the marriage is OK, they can resolve the issue between the Mum and Her husband. Right now only the marriage matter @rokiatu 1 Like |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by MadCow1: 10:35am On Mar 14, 2015 |
Rose2014: I didn't see anything about domestic abuse in the main article.. Feel free to point me towards that part. I handle issues of domestic abuse differently. But the main article only spoke about a rift between mother in law and son in law, and that's wat I responded to. Thanks for sharing. 1 Like |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Nimrod81: 10:35am On Mar 14, 2015 |
Billyonaire: |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by bogzyboy(m): 10:36am On Mar 14, 2015 |
Rokiatu, why are you telling us she brought him over and helped him with papers? so what? Why would a woman who has been married for 4 years with kids decide to leave her house and side with her mother because the husband is quarreling with her? If she wants to stay with her mom, so be it. She is not ready for marriage yet. |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Rose2014: 10:37am On Mar 14, 2015 |
MadCow1: Oh am sorry. D op in the next two posts explained why he hates his mother in law all the more Here: rokiatu: |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by onoja12: 10:39am On Mar 14, 2015 |
is he married to your mother? are you married to him or your mother?if you know what is good for you,you better run back to your house and beg your husband before it is too late.your mother has run her own marriage and your husband wasn't a factor,i wonder what is fooling you into thinking that your mother should be a factor in his own house.i repeat run home and beg before another woman moves in,don't say i didn't warn you oh. lastly i ask if your husband places his own mother first before you and your kids,how would you feel? rokiatu: |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by eagle13(m): 10:40am On Mar 14, 2015 |
francizy:personally I think there are issues we r yet to b told dat lead to d hatred between d man n her mom in law.but as an African dat believe in using native intelligence in crisis resolution, I think d mom inlaw should try to settle d issue at home first den if d option proved abortive den she can call d police. finally,I think d wife should consult a close friend of d husband or a close member of d guys family to discuss d real cause of d hatred so dat d problems can b identified,discussed n solved. |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Rose2014: 10:42am On Mar 14, 2015 |
onoja12:I'm sure u didn't read the next two comments where op mention domestic abuse. Beg an abuser so u can return to him? Are u kidding? Like I always say, hope u'll say d same to ur daughters if their husband abuses them |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Boyooosa(m): 10:42am On Mar 14, 2015 |
rokiatu:so na because of dis cheap tori u com de tell adults mak dem keep off. Tell her to involve her father, since her mother has serviced (am just thinking) the guy b4, so respect no go de tru tru and d guy might be doing it to avoid another round (just thinking), he will still have respect for her father no matter what. the father can reconcile the situation. but if she doesnt have father again, she can go tru one of his cherished and respected friends for mutual settlement. Try it and thank me later! |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Nobody: 10:43am On Mar 14, 2015 |
All these life and situation analysts, una no dey tire *sighs* |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Nobody: 10:43am On Mar 14, 2015 |
SmooshCHN: You cant take your mother out of your marriage. You can not have another mother. A mother is who you run to, for advise, when you face difficulties in marriage. What type of man will abandon his kids and wife because of his personal ego ? There is no love there. Love humbles a man. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Rose2014: 10:44am On Mar 14, 2015 |
eagle13:D man beat his wife and their baby got injured in the process. D mil called the police n child protective services and d man hates her with passion That's an abuser for u. They usually don't like anyone that tries to protect the victim. It's normal 4 Likes |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Nobody: 10:45am On Mar 14, 2015 |
Billyonaire:if I quote you again them go say I am against the man. But I couldn't help it you are so right. |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Ninapha(f): 10:45am On Mar 14, 2015 |
jaybee3: i am so disappointed on this ur one way traffic perception. U think the mother inlaw is comfortable with the situation? A man who beats his wife is even a wow! He is a son inlaw, i hv this inclination, he may not like the woman as aresult of her authocrative nature or advising the daughter against him. Yet he went ahead and marry the daughter. So its on him to manage the situation properly. He shd show respect to his inlaw while not being a house boy to her. Anything short of this, he is acting immature. For the lady, its had to be ahome with ur mum's enemy, yet this is ur family. Dont middle much on their difference. Try to be a wife to ur hubby and a daughter to ur mum. Soon they wd find a ground to reconcile. Ur home first. 1 Like |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by IYANGBALI: 10:45am On Mar 14, 2015 |
Rokiatu I for no put mouth for this your mata because I know say na you the thing happen to. If no be say today na saturday,I for talk say dat your friend no get brain,na wetin her husband do am?nothing,she come pack comot because of small issue like dat. Come make I tell you something if na me be dat man I no go look for her nor beg her to come back home and by the time she decides to come back home,na dat time I go start my own madness and tell her to go back to where she is coming from,at the end of the day,na her,her mama and you rokiatu together with some other family members and friends go come dey beg me for her to come back home,afterall na she pack comot. Some naija babes no get brain walahi,look around you and see how babes that are old enough to be married are floating here and there,keeping vigil and fasting,one yeye girl come dey pack comot for her matrmonial home because of thing wey no get head,even that her mama self,na small brain she get,for say her brain full and correct well well,she for no gree the girl to pack comot for her husband house. If your friend like make she nogo make peace with her husband,I see you rokiatu or one of una friends taking over her matrimonial home if she does not go back home soonest. Infact give me the man's fone no and address of his house,I get people dat want to pack in now now now. |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by manmustwac(m): 10:45am On Mar 14, 2015 |
bogzyboy:One thing that i know as fact is that when they come here there is always the possibility that they will change for the worse. A few weeks ago i read a story here about how an african american woman married and helped her nigerian husband to get his papers only for him to go to back home to marry his girlfriend. Rokiatu You didn't tell us why your friends husband hates his mother inlaw? Dose he have perfectly good reason for hating her or is it some lame excuse? 1 Like |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by 400billionman: 10:47am On Mar 14, 2015 |
The man is wrong. But the girl can decide to marry her mother if she is okay with that.. It is probable this man does not like her mother in law because his wife is appropriating attention more to her mum than her husband. Its very simple. Let her marry her mother.. |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Rose2014: 10:47am On Mar 14, 2015 |
manmustwac:She did if read the next two comments after the op |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by braine(m): 10:48am On Mar 14, 2015 |
When a woman is married, she belongs entirely to her husband, and he should come first before any other person. |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by bogzyboy(m): 10:48am On Mar 14, 2015 |
manmustwac: That is true. But she makes it sound like he owes her so he must always comply because she helped him with papers. With what we know so far, the fight was between the dude and his mother inlaw, taking his kids away and moving back with her mom is just idiotic. |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Rose2014: 10:49am On Mar 14, 2015 |
400billionman: Before I allow my child male or female to return to a physically abusive spouse, they will have to sign a statement saying if they get killed, my hand no dey |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by 400billionman: 10:50am On Mar 14, 2015 |
braine: Most girls don't know about this.. |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by onoja12: 10:52am On Mar 14, 2015 |
domestic abuse my foot,am equally sure you didn't read the part where she is spending late night by her mother.If her mother is lonely let her go find a boyfriend and leave there marriage alone As for my daughter i would raise her right,and would teach her to respect her husband just as her mother respects me,only women from broken home like to brake there children s home,if i check the mother must have broken her own home.and that is why my people say don't marry a girl from a broken home because her mother would brake yours too Rose2014: |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by SmooshCHN: 10:53am On Mar 14, 2015 |
Billyonaire:Not take mother away as in physically, don't just quote a part of the whole sentence and take on it. I simply said their marriage would seem OK without the issue of the mother and her husband in relation of she keeping her marriage alive. She packed out because of the issue between both. |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by Rose2014: 10:53am On Mar 14, 2015 |
IYANGBALI: I think u should read the next two comments after the op where physical abuse in which a new born baby was injured Is this what u'll say to ur daughter if she's being abused by her husband? |
Re: If This Was Your Husband What Would You Do? by MadCow1: 10:54am On Mar 14, 2015 |
Rose2014: Riight.. Thanks for pointing that out. Now we have established a cause, I still don't think the woman handled it well. Her husband is still her primary except she wants a divorce. Rather than aggravate issues by doing the same thing that caused the beating in the first place, she should be taking steps to broker peace between them. Unless she can clearly point to the fact that the man is a naturally abusive person in which case she should be making moves for a divorce and not doing the same Shiit that caused the problems whilst hoping that brings about a solution. |
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