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Best Way To Show Your Wife You Are Not Happy With Her / Discipline: Funny Things Kids Were Beaten For Back In The Days / What Are The Best Way To Discipline A Child Other Than Flogging (2) (3) (4)
Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by mifavour(f): 2:38pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Spanking, beating, flogging or caning is a common method of disciplining children in Nigeria. In fact caning used to be very common in Nigerian schools before the practice was abandoned. Most Nigerian disciplinarians will tell you that spanking a child is the best method of discipline. While many parents would choose to believe that spanking is effective, the physical act of hitting a child also has its negative consequences. Spanking can cause anger, aggression, and resentment, can cause physical harm, and most often does not teach the lesson you are trying to convey. Spanking a young child or toddler for example demonstrates to him or her that it’s all right for people to hit people, and especially for big people to hit little people, and stronger people to hit weaker people. There is a common story told about the mother who believed in spanking as a necessary part of discipline until one day she observed her 3 -year-old daughter hitting her one-year-old son. When confronted, her daughter said, “I’m just playing mommy.” This mother never spanked another child again. Parents of toddlers often notice that their child beats others or beats them back when they are spanked. This is because children love to imitate, and they imitate people whom they love and respect. They believe that it’s okay for them to do whatever you do. While the choice of disciplining your child is yours to make, you should note that there are various other ways to discipline your child without spanking and some of them are listed below. 1.Positive Reinforcement Rewarding good behavior is effective in increasing good behavior and in reducing unwanted behavior. Positive reinforcement relies on you going out of your way to praise positive behavior (for example, thank your child for helping with something, comment on how nice and quiet your child has been for the last half hour, etc.). It is very easy to overlook when your child is being good and only notice when they do something wrong. 2. Ignoring Unwanted Behaviour A parent only has so much energy and really cannot beat a child for every single thing he or she does. What we pay attention to is what we get more of. So a parent can ignore the behaviour for as long as it lasts unless it gets dangerous. Ignoring unwanted behavior saves a parent’s strength for bigger issues without having to beat the child. Some behaviours that may be ignored include whining, nagging, demanding things in shops or supermarkets, crying for attention (when plenty of positive attention is already given) etc. 3. Time outs Time-out is a term for a form of punishment that involves temporarily separating a child from an environment where inappropriate behavior has occurred. Experts recommend that this form of discipline be used when a child is 2 years of age or older. At that age, toddlers are starting to understand cause and effect and time outs will work. 4. Using Your Child’s Currency You can use what your child values e.g. it could be a toy, a particular activity, or even a privilege like getting to stay awake to a particular hour to produce positive behaviour. Once you understand what your child values, you can withdraw positive things (taking away the toy, video game, phone etc.) or introduce negative things (making them take a time-out, go to bed early) as a form of discipline. 5. The Point System Give points for good behavior and take away points for bad behavior. In some homes, accumulated “points” can even be traded in for rewards. In other homes, privileges are based on behaviour, and dropping below a certain point level may cause a loss of privileges. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by Dyt(f): 3:39pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Pls when next u copy n paste Always put paragraphs for better reading 5 Likes |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by Jochebed7(f): 3:44pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
what about punishments like pick a pin, kneeling down with hands up and eyes closed? I still think its alright to beat or punish your kids as long as its not done in anger, overdone, and the kids understand y they are being punished 3 Likes |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by mifavour(f): 5:08pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Dyt: sorry dear 2 Likes |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by KoloOyinbo(m): 1:27pm On Mar 20, 2015 |
mifavour: Excellent ideas. Actually more effective than violence and do not carry all the very negative messages that violence carries. When violence is done to a child the message is simple - might is right - it is ok for the strong to force the weak to obey them etc. The right and wrong of the offense is completely lost! It is good to see that what child psychologists have been preaching for so long now is finally gaining International acceptance. Although not at the same rate in all countries. 2 Likes |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by Hoyehdayg(m): 9:37am On Dec 31, 2015 |
Jochebed7: You are on point. Even the points that were mentioned my the thread originator has its negative side. Before beating or punishing a child, you must explain the reason why you are doing so. The reason why we have so many disrespectful and arrogant children in our generation these days is because we have failed in doing the needful as regards punishing. I thank my parents for those beatings, "stool down", "Okada riding", "siga obo" and more. It really helped me from being wayward. They also used positive reinforcement but never ignored any behaviour |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by SAMBARRY: 10:22am On Dec 31, 2015 |
If you believe in spanking you should also give them grass to eat.yeynotu |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by Riversides2003(m): 4:45pm On Feb 21, 2016 |
Time out mostly works for children in a well to do family, it's not a good tool in the average Nigerian home 1 Like |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by SSpeter(m): 12:02am On Feb 22, 2016 |
Foooooooooooooooooooolisssssssh ideas like what you wrote up there is why we have so much miscreants today In the streets...as long as a person is below 13...the best method of correction is the whip....cane, belt etc... we had better kids in the 6o's 70's 80's 9o's today no more values.......plsssssss bible even instructed us to use the rod....a good and swift slap will do you a lot of good and save you much stress in the near future 1 Like |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by Chidoks(f): 10:23am On Feb 22, 2016 |
Like seriously, I should ignore an unwanted behavior in my child till it becomes a bad habit right? You called it an unwanted behavior yet you want me to ignore it! What do you do to unwanted stuffs? Do you decorate your house with them or do you discard them? Do you people even realize you will one day give an account to God for spoiling your children? Disciplining children entails beatings, commendations, constructive punishments, praise singing, frowning at wrong deeds, verbal corrections etc etc Our parents did good jobs in us. They beat us wella! The younger generation is full of so much vices because you guys copy the western world that is so satanized. Have you ever paused to ponder on why the white children are so uncultured, indecent, ungodly, untamed, crude, violent, vulgar... It's because they are reared the way you recommend |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by omoharry(f): 10:33am On Feb 22, 2016 |
SSpeter:chei!! oga you use style harsh oo |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by omoharry(f): 10:35am On Feb 22, 2016 |
Chidoks:Right on point my sister...we cannot copy the American style of discpline because it has mess up thier society..just imagin children of this generatiom in the western world talking back at thier parent ,and saying awful things such as " TO HELL WITH YOU...Bleep YOU...I HATE YOU...YOU CANNOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO bla bla bla!! OR I CALL 99999999999111....such rubbish...abeg they should descipline their children the way it deemed fit while while we should discipline ours in our own way...shikena |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by Chidoks(f): 10:37am On Feb 22, 2016 |
omoharry:Omo image my child asking me to shut up? God forbid o! |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by omoharry(f): 10:39am On Feb 22, 2016 |
Chidoks:haaa!! no be small beating ee go chop that day..trust our Nigeria mama's.. |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by omoharry(f): 10:43am On Feb 22, 2016 |
so Kolooyibo..if you like, ignore it when your child tell you to shut the Bleep up or go to hell..then give him a pat in the back and tell him weldone ..you go see oba when he is all grown up and out of control just becos you choose to ignor these vital things when it all started. 1 Like |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by Chidoks(f): 10:43am On Feb 22, 2016 |
SSpeter:Are you my mum's brother? Err, but cut down on the slap sha make u no go blind or deafen pikin! |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by Chidoks(f): 10:45am On Feb 22, 2016 |
omoharry:That singular act will earn the child enough physical and spiritual impartation! Trust mammas like moi! |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by omoharry(f): 10:56am On Feb 22, 2016 |
Chidoks: 1 Like |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by davidif: 2:28am On Oct 31, 2016 |
omoharry: Don't mind all these Nigerians trying to adopt Western culture. Some of the people who even write this thing self, you would be amazed that some of them don't have kids or don't practice it themselves yet they write it and people willingly devour it. I live in the West and I have seen the consequences of adopting western parenting techniques. By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he is wrong - Charles Wadsworth |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by davidif: 2:30am On Oct 31, 2016 |
mifavour: Time out I have seen up close that Time outs don't work. Abeg all this new age parenting stuff hardly ever works. |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by davidif: 2:31am On Oct 31, 2016 |
The only valid thing I like about your post is the positive reinforcement part as for the rest...well let me say good luck with that. Do not withold discipline from a child, if you punish them with a rod they will not die Proverbs 23:13 I am sorry but I would rather depend on the wisdom of God than man's. |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by Nobody: 12:09pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
What makes most adults is the ability to make a decision based on experience which comes with discipline. Advocating for the right not to discipline a child in terms of Cain, belt, koboko ( I didn't die) and others for a child's adventurous nature is just wrong. we all pass through that stage of discipline and it made us better. Oyibo pikin and cable TV don do enough damage To morales and etiquette in a child. |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by Raina80(f): 1:03pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
Parenting does not come with a manual therefore what works for one child is useless for another. A child needs discipline and boundaries to thrive discipline in moderation. Spanking your child once in a while is not detrimental but if you find yourself doing it daily then something is not right. Not disciplining your child at all is abuse. We all have friends or family who have children we cannot stand yes those children that when you visit or when they visit you ,they leave you with homicidal thoughts simply because the parents have neglected their responsibilities. I had a friend who stopped talking to me because I expressed my concerns after I found her daughter ( aged going through by handbag. It turns out this was a regular thing. I was not confrontial about it. All I asked was for the mother to address the behaviour. What's going to become of that child? 2 Likes |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by mastermaestro(m): 8:34pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
More perverts, more outlaws, more murderers, more home breakers, more divorcees/divorcées, more drug addicts, more porn addicts, more twisted minds... GOD who recommends corrective spanking as a way of resetting a child's brain knows something mankind doesn't. I would rather go with GOD'S counsel on raising a child. I love this Scripture: [/b]Proverbs 22:15 KJV "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."[b] 1 Like |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by BuddhaPalm(m): 10:38pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
SSpeter: My father only ever flogged me once. And I didn't turn into a miscreant. Violence creates resentment, and even hate. E get one guy wey flog me shege, one time, for secondary school. If I meet him today, I won't talk to him. He's a Catholic priest now. In my first year in uni, I had this "bad boy" neighbour who used every opportunity to torment his dad. When I asked him why, he said the old man flogged him with hate when he was younger. |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by Timbuktuo: 9:54am On Nov 01, 2016 |
BuddhaPalm: When spanking is mentioned, do not picture being tied to your bunk while your parent lashes away ad infinitum. One smack to the bum is more than sufficient, and it only needs to be done occasionally. Some kids need a regular spank, like one smack every few months(about 3 single smacks a year), some need it once like yourself. Flogging a child with hate is abuse, which defeats the purpose of discipline, is counterproductive and risks instilling indisciline in the child. Any parent who flogs their child with anger, much less, hate lacks discipline themselves and will damage their child. However, ruling out spanking is irresponsible. Not spanking when you should is just foolishness. 1 Like |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by bellong: 10:10am On Nov 01, 2016 |
Timbuktuo: Aptly put.. Couldn't have been said better 1 Like |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by newspent: 2:30pm On Nov 11, 2016 |
very good post.......but u need to read this The Best Way Of Parenting A Child In Nigeria http://www.newspent.com/98-2/ |
Re: Best Way To Discipline A Child Without Spanking by davidif: 4:29pm On Apr 24, 2017 |
mifavour: Even Americans have found out that a lot of this things don't work but you Africans want to adopt there lifestyle in the name of civillization hahahah. |
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