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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? (67356 Views)
My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? / Wife Asks Our Son To Beat Me Up Anytime We Quarrel —pastor Tells Court / Re; My Wife Fought With My Mum Following A Quarrel. My Own Opinion. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by An0nimus: 11:58am On Mar 28, 2015 |
malachee:Is it supposed to be his mum feeding him? 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 11:59am On Mar 28, 2015 |
I love my wife and has two young children with her but this whole issue has complicated things. @ perfectionist The way you handle this issue will 1. Make or break your marriage 2. Decide the position of your wife in that home forever The Bible says honor your father and mother and The same Bible asks you to cleave to your wife. You can do both now that this has happened ,there needs to be a solution You need to standup and protect your wife from your family. The mere fact that you are asking what to do tells me you believe your wife is a good woman who was provoked and caused to react. Do not rob salt on your wife's own pain by even entertaining any of the requests from your family She was wronged here first and foremost I have shared my own MIL story here and I wish your wife could read it I never had physical fights with my MIL But she provoked me to the max and if at that point she slapped me,I am certain I may have slapped her back and I am not a violent person at all. My MIL and I are close today and that was because my husband handled it well. This is what he did 1.He went home to Nigeria and all his siblings were very angry that I " threw his mom out of the house" and called her a witch.No one cared about the verbal assaults I endured for 4 months before ever responding and the mental torture.My husband knew the full story not them You must know the full story here Search your heart,has your wife not consistently reported mama's ill behavior towards her to you?Have you not seen your mom do and say ugly things to her?Did your wife come into your home disliking your mom? You know the answers so that ought to guide your action. So go to your family and listen to all they have to say,don't say much,just listen to them and listen to your mother too.You don't have to tell wife all that was said or anything said at all. 2. My husband came back to the USA and asked me ,actually pleaded with me to apologize to his mom because my words hurt her and he loves him mom a lot. So go to your wife,acknowledging her hurt and plead with her to apologize to your mom.He did that and allowed me to apologize at my own time.It took me about 18 months to do it.I had to be ready.And I apologized over the phone with these words " mama,I want to say that I am sorry if anything I said in the course of your visit,offended you, forgive me" I said those words and the response was more insult and name callings but since I wasn't angry and had truly forgiven,I didn't respond back in anger. Guess what? Her children who were present with her heard what she told me and they got mad at her and started apologizing to me for her harsh words. I will call and wish her happy Mother's Day I will call and tell her how the kids were doing.i will send her gifts at Christmas. What did I gain? The love and respect of my husband The love of my brothers and sisters in law The love of my mother in law I hope this helps. 7 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by NmaGOD44(f): 12:00pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
san316:what on earth do u mean by he gave his wife too much freedom??....who says husbands are the ones to dish out freedom to their wives??.....stupid African trad dat won't stop annoying me ......gave her too much freedom indeed..... rubbish 9 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by olexy4real(m): 12:02pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
JeffreyJamez: Hmmm!!! That's the kind of traits and lesson we pass down to the younger generation and we expect the world to be a better place. 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by aswani(m): 12:03pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
My cosuin married from another tribe located in PH. I won't mention it so as not to derail the thread by waking up the tribalists. Even though my auntie is a nice woman, she was angry that his wife's relatives asked for too much, in order to attempt to stop the marraige, and my struggling cousin with the help of God fulfilled their wishes. She showed my cousin's wife pepper and because of the wife's maturity and love for her husband, which sadly doesn't exist in your case, she tolerated it. This wife we are taking about is the first born girl in her family and we know that in Nigeria, those ones na fire. She eventually walked out of the house after an incident. She didn't start fighting her MIL because 'her husband must cleave to her'. Fast forward 15 years and 2 of them are like bread and butter. The few of us that know their history still cannot believe it. If your story is true, please be wary of the advice from a few females here who are only matured sexually and not emotionally. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by RenewedMind: 12:03pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
Its been established that both your mother and wife were wrong to fight. Please bear in mind though, that neither you nor I knows what really happened, but unfortunately u seem to have chosen to believe the other women's story and have not told us what your wife's side of the story was. Was she fighting your mom, or was she defending herself from being beat up by your mom? Nevertheless, this is what you need to understand. Your mother is asking you to do this: 1. Give up on a woman you have committed and vowed to God to spend your life with. 2. Separate your children from their mother and subject them to a life of instability 3. Create an enormous amount of stress for yourself as a single parent. Yes, she may help you and/ or get someone to help you but you still bear the entire burden of providing for everyone and nurturing your own heart which if its not broken now, will be broken sooner or later when your wife is forced to move on to another relationship and you have to face that. 4. Give up your choice and preference for hers. You need to step away emotionally from all of this and ask yourself some candid questions. Whose interest is your mother looking out for in all of this? Has she made up her mind that for your peace of mind, she will love your wife as her child or is she trying to have her own way in your home...ie take whatever pictures she wants when she wants it, etc. Your mom appears to feel so entitled to what you own that she would hit your wife because she wasnt given pictures? What kind of mother puts her own selfish need for control over her sons needs? What kind of mother threatens to withold her love and contact with her son if he doesn't obey her command. Your decision is simpler than you think. You need to decide if you are the man and the maker of decisions in your home or if your mother is the one who decides how you run your home and who lives in it. I can make it even simpler...if you made a vow at your wedding, you now have to decide whether your commitment to obeying your mother supersedes your vow to God of for better for worse. 5 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by YINKS89(m): 12:06pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
cococandy:bae if sm1 does dat 2 ma mum she'll leave coz I knw ma mum. Vewi well she won't gt mad @ sm1 4 no reason. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by NmaGOD44(f): 12:08pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
Imoy:a good wife my foot.....how about a good MIL??....won't she be good to d DIL and not make troubles first??.....stupid 6 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by emelia: 12:10pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
Ok |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by NmaGOD44(f): 12:13pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
TheFilmmaker:if u too love ur wife, u won't support ur mum slapping her for whatsoever reason......stupid customs dat will always require dat the wife do everything to make her man happy only for the husband to do exactly wat he likes.....rubbish 6 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by NmaGOD44(f): 12:16pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
anitank:exactly sis.....u r so on point....hypocrisy of the highest order from these silly trads 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by MadCow1: 12:17pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
iiichidodo: I am indeed a woman wrapper, a mummy's boy and an all round lover of women. If that is what it means to be a wuss then I guess that is what I am.. No shame. I am indeed a product of my father. His genes have served me well. He has been married for over 35 years and his model for his marriage has served him well.. I have been married for almost 3 years and I have not had any regrets about how I treat my wife. I laid down the law early on my wife and how she must be treated to my Parents and my siblings and they have all respected it and I have a happy home. In the beginning, I had some very serious issues between my then fiancée and my mother and I stood by my fiancée and even told my mother that she was at liberty not to attend the wedding. The fact that I stood by her during those trying period has set the tone in my marriage. She knows that to me she is my lieutenant and that I would protect her from everyone including my siblings. Today, if my mother has any issues affecting my wife, she knows to bring it to me first and not go attack my wife. My sisters know where I place my wife and they also have learnt to respect her as such. Everybody is happy because the law has been laid down. Now I expect no less from any man who would be marrying my sisters as well. If he knows that he would not hold her in the highest esteem, he should please go pick up a street girl or somebody who has no esteem to rubbish. The size of a mans balls is not the measure of his manhood. A man is measured by how well he provides, protects and governs his home. His home being his wife and kids.. If you are not ready to be married, stay single.. 22 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by kandiikane(m): 12:18pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
I have lived in a compound before with a land lord and his two wives and kids who use to fight and quarrel almost everyday. The first wife was quite calm but the second wife was absolutely bat crazy, she was soo hateful and jealous and she would always find trouble with every woman in the compound. These women were my grandmother's age so I would assume around early 40s. Point I am making is that, mother, wife or not some women are just dark inside. We even suspected this woman to be doing juju). I mean as a wife, she had no respect for anyone and no one respected her either, this same woman will become a mother inlaw one day(probably is, who knows). She is a wife and she is a mother in law, moral of the story is some wives deserve no respect and some mother inlaws also deserve none. Some wives deserve that slap and some mothers in law deserves to be scratched(by whom I do not know). |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Vision4God: 12:18pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
blesoh: Hhhmmmm so sweet and great. God bles u blesoh. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by NmaGOD44(f): 12:22pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
onoja12:ur story has nothing to do with the issue at hand.....did the wife throw her MIL out?....did she not welcome her well ??...was she the first to strike??.....pls read the whole story before dishing out ur advice ...abeg 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 12:23pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
MadCow1: You are not a cow and you shall not be mad in Jesus name If there was a next life ,after marrying azubuike in this life and enjoying it,I will say let me marry you 7 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by An0nimus: 12:29pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
@Madcow1 #Respekt. 4 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 12:30pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
tnx babyosisi: 1 Like |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by NmaGOD44(f): 12:31pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
MadCow1:geezzz!!!...I'm falling all the more.......woooow.....I actually said I wasn't gonna marry an African but u've just given me hope......pls do enjoy ur marriage......u deserve it 6 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 12:34pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
NmaGOD44: The same people calling the wife names will also applaud the husband had he come back to pummel his wife after hearing this story They will be the same people to hail him for beating up a wife that verbally insults him The culture is messed up Culture where an inlaw from the man's end feels he/ she has more rights than a woman in her own house The wife's mom won't come there and demand or take a property in the house and slap the son inlaw when he refuses And if the wife's mother attacked him in the manner his mom attacked the wife and he retaliates,the same posters will congratulate him on being a man and ask why he didn't throw his wife out also with her mother. And we wonder why Nigeria is messed up The way people think in that space is messed up Bosses beat up their subordinates Governors slap their assistants and whip them with koboko Madams slap their drivers and kick their servants Teachers strike and hit their students Anyone in authority can beat anyone and the person will kneel to beg sef The police will beat up and shoot down anyone they feel like The culture is used to stoopidity The answers here don't surprise me at all They don't know any better 6 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by iiichidodo: 12:39pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
MadCow1:Sob story of an irritant Woman prick...Better not infect the OP with your disease as his case is far more different and will need balls of steel to resolve.Else his life will be governed by mad women,a condition we observe you're very comfortable with. 8 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by NmaGOD44(f): 12:46pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
TheFilmmaker:now don't be foolish....did u ever read where she was said to have ran her mouth like a sloth??....evils 1 Like |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by christabeli: 1:03pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
julietchic:But of course she is not here to defend herself. Your description of her shows bitterness. And that says a lot. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by blesoh(f): 1:03pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
Vision4God:amen n bless u too. 1 Like |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:04pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
NmaGOD44:...please, don't allow anyone work you up. Let him continue and hopefully act out same if faced with such. Good to know there still exist sane men here...kudos @madcow1, Babyosisi and you too. Hope these will guide Op in making his decision. 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by MadCow1: 1:05pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
iiichidodo: Coming from someone who see nothing wrong in a mother in Law assaulting her daughter in law over the photos of her daughter in laws child in her daughter in Laws house.. You keep calling me a woman prick and that is supposed to be an insult? You are a funny young man.. 7 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:07pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
Women are evil. Just ignore them, they will sort themselves out. Meanwhile, for those that want already made statistics projects, call or Whatsapp me... |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by NmaGOD44(f): 1:07pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
iiichidodo:don't b a sadist pls......jerk 4 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by TheFilmmaker: 1:07pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
NmaGOD44: Ever asked yourself why you're still single? Feminist. 1 Like |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by NmaGOD44(f): 1:10pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
chimkaire:thanks dear.....some people are just too egocentric for my liking......spoiling the beautiful image of other sane Africans 4 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by iiichidodo: 1:11pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
NmaGOD44:Why don't you go powder your nose?..Fishbrained b**tch. 5 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by NmaGOD44(f): 1:12pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
TheFilmmaker:go and cool off, pls.......ur blood is too hot....u should reside in the jungle cos that's exactly where u belong with such archaic thoughts 3 Likes |
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