freecocoa:
I get all these and I think I've said it over an over that, MIL is wrong to slap her, but I want you to see that, DIL is not a victim, she's as bad, even worse than MIL, I'm starting to think that, DIL's 'mannarlessness' is a reason why MIL can't get along with her.

If you can slap your MIL for hitting you once, you can hit your mother.

The law is that, if gets that tough, you honor your elder, DIL doesn't care about laws and will be worse, when she starts using the "elder" chip, mama is using now.

anitank:

He's a little above 30. I dare not ask him that because I don't want to look like I have something against his mum.

Sophyrocks:
[s]

For you to have been this composed while talking with this dude shows you are more of a man than he is. It didnt take him long for him to call you names. I guess he isnt content with his manhood. Thumbs up jare. Nothing do you.[/s]

freecocoa:
Story said they normally don't get along but they were alright the day this problem occurred, does the fact that they had issues before mean they can't be cool ever? It's obvious DIL hasn't forgiven mama hence the refusal.

What do you mean "someone's house"? This is her family for fecks's sakes, an extension of herself and you think being overly formal is the best way to relate?

Except you don't think there can be peace in extended family will you think like this, my family fight plenty but we don't do hate, there's no place for that. DIL did not behave like someone who loves her MIL, my mother shouldn't slap me but if she does for any reasons, I will walk away, she must feel bad about it.

bukatyne:

Some in-laws pretend to accept the wife and show their colors after marriage

anitank:

My dear obodo oyibo might not make much difference in this case. It's hard enough he's the one financially supporting his entire family, including his two elder brothers and wives. If he gets married and has his own responsibilities and eventually stops supporting elder brothers like he used to, the woman automatically becomes the enemy. My dear I've weighed a lot of other things I can't mention here, I just can't deal

bestestgirl:

infact I don't think the MIL asked for the pictures, it looks to me like MIL and gang came to greet the family and the DIL gave them album to 'watch', suddenly the MIL started ripping out all the pictures she likes in the album to go away with and when the DIL protested, the slaps began to rain.
If every other visitor had been ripping out pictures from the album, which one would she have seen to take? MIL was wrong on every level, and the other gang members are not good people at all, they had the power to stop the issue before it went too far

Sophyrocks:


A grown a$$ man little above 30 incapable of running his finances! Hehehehe. You for hear wehhhhn for that marriage. I have met a man in his 30s who admitted that he sleeps on the same bed with his mother. she even calls him every second in fact, she called while he came to visit me and i couldnt count how many times she did. OMO! I didnt even allow anything materialise because he was just an admirer wanting to date me. I pick race o! He never heard from me again. He kept sending me messages but didnt get a reply. I see mama's boy's as boys on diapers!! They irritate me die! They are big turn off and should remain with their mothers. Dnt know why they waste the precious time of ladies when they can just marry their mothers. They could have saved women from all this sh1t!!

justwise:


They don't have to get a long, the DIL is not her house girl, she is somebody else's daughter, a married woman with two kids, obviously the MIL does not respect her son or his marriage neither does she care about her grand kids

crackhaus:

I refuse to believe this, it is absolutely not true.

I never saw or heard of a mother who pretended to like the woman her son wants to marry only to show hatred for her after marriage without the wife first doing something serious that turned her MIL against her.

Emphasis on mother BTW, because I know that a man's sister(s)/brother(s) can pretend to like his intended wife, but never his mother - unless you have a personal real life example that you've witnessed, and even that will be the exception.

MadCow1:
[s]


Wow... So now you are going after my father as well..


Like I said to you before puppy, I have no shame in who I am or who my Father is. Nothing in the OPs article says his wife hit his mother just that she sustained a scratch on her face.

But it's cool, when you get married, please place your wife at a level where she feels like a second class citizen to your mother.

Any Man who puts his mother above his wife has no business being married to anybody but his mother.

Yeah it is indeed my funeral. That's the whole idea behind till death do us part[/s], innit?

donedy:


If I may ask, why do people have financial advisors? Is his mom not qualified to be his financial advisor?

iiichidodo:
Let us reiterate old flea bag, that it is your funeral however you dein to dispose of your mother or throw her into a meat grinder to please your wife..you're merely following the traits of your henpecked father. A bastard should have bigger balls and manhood, to each his own. .

freecocoa:
Lmao, they don't have to get along? what kind of relationship will this family have? A family that doesn't get along, it's wrong to slap anyone, but should your mum slap you, what would you do?

N.B, remember this is the first time MIL hit DIL.

bestestgirl:

infact I don't think the MIL asked for the pictures, it looks to me like MIL and gang came to greet the family and the DIL gave them album to 'watch', suddenly the MIL started ripping out all the pictures she likes in the album to go away with and when the DIL protested, the slaps began to rain.

If every other visitor had been ripping out pictures from the album, which one would she have seen to take? MIL was wrong on every level, and the other gang members are not good people at all, they had the power to stop the issue before it went too far

bukatyne:


Her family she has 'authority' over is her nuclear family... she can go grabbing stuffs there

I never said she should be overly formal but she must abide by their rules... Same thing I will tell DIL if she was to go to MIL's place.

My maternal extended family is very close knit; I know 99.9% of my family members so I know what close knit means.

One of my cousins married a wife who does not like extended family ish and we let her be (Woe betides anyone who would try any nonsense in-lawism with her anyways)

Things are so so that when we were prepping for an event, we had to take our toothpastes, soaps, some foodstuffs etc. Once there was no food, we went to the next available food joint and bought food there. When we did another event there, we brought the stuffs used to cook yet some of us did not get meat while she kept the rest inside her freezer (we ate the food with joy and forgot the whole stuff)

None of us faced her to say bla bla.... when we get to our homes, we behaved as we like and ate what we wanted.

It is her home, her rules.

It is how the husband carries his wife that they will carry her too

Same with the husband.

Like the pastor says during a Church wedding, make your objections now or forever hold your peace!

I will always place the blame on MILs and SILs in issues like this except in extreme cases...

If you don't like the way you are treated, leave! leave!! leave!!!

Sophyrocks:


Being an advisor is different from being a manager. Get it?

babyosisi:


Do you realize this OP is not as mad as this
He's not even mad
He could actually be incubating his wife this very second and sowing a male seed

bukatyne:


I have heard of cases where mothers 'pretend' to like their DILs and show their colors after marriage (However, I have not had the opportunity to observe maybe the hate was underneath)

Telling women not to marry men because they do not get along with the MIL to be seems quite extreme though there are some cases that the girl should run 4 40.

E.g: the crazy thread where the MIL to be wants to bath with her

freecocoa:
Lmao, they don't have to get along? what kind of relationship will this family have? A family that doesn't get along, it's wrong to slap anyone, but should your mum slap you, what would you do?

N.B, remember this is the first time MIL hit DIL.

donedy:


Still does not change what I was getting at.

Let me reiterate: If I may ask, why do people have financial managers? Is his mom not qualified to be his financial manager if she has the qualifications?

Ewuro4:


hahahaha madam you're too mush oh, were you there? See Maggi, salt and locust bean ontop simple matter.

CircleOfWilis:
Waiting for dame kanwulia /kanwuliaJara's comment

freecocoa:
I'm terrified at how you think it is very easy/okay that a mother should avoid her son's house and her grandchildren, because she and DIL can't get along? It's quite shocking.

Her son can come to her house and take stuff and she can't do the same in his, because he's married? Is he married to the devil? I'm sorry, I can't relate to the example you used, how does cousin and mother compare?

iiichidodo:
Let us reiterate old flea bag, that it is your funeral however you dein to dispose of your mother or throw her into a meat grinder to please your wife..you're merely following the traits of your henpecked father. A bastard should have bigger balls and manhood, to each his own. .

justwise:


Two people don't have to get along but they will respect each other and know their boundaries.

Don't compare this to my mum, she is not her mum and never liked her, she is just an over bearing, annoying MIL who wants to control her son's marriage .

Sophyrocks:


A grown a$$ man who has gotten to the age where he should have goals, dreams, plans to execute, on how to run his fiances has no business making his mother his financial advisor/manager. Such a man needs a lot of growing up to do and should stay away from marriage till he is an ADULT psychologically. If you need a financial manager since you are not good with money, it must not be your mother.

crackhaus:

Telling a woman not to marry a man whose mother she doesn't get along with is the best preventive and pro-active (in retrospect) step to avoiding situations like that in the OP.

Why dive into murky waters with both eyes open and not expect to run into problems?
Unless the woman is really desperate for marriage, which is a point I made in my original comment.

crackhaus:

Telling a woman not to marry a man whose mother she doesn't get along with is the best preventive and pro-active (in retrospect) step to avoiding situations like that in the OP.

Why dive into murky waters with both eyes open and not expect to run into problems?
Unless the woman is really desperate for marriage, which is a point I made in my original comment.