I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree - Romance (4) - Nairaland
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| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by gbemi514: 12:45am On Apr 03, 2015 |
@ op u said ur mum prayed bout it n she said u shudnt marry d guy workin in an oil company n is gettin a good pay...........in other words God told ur mother 2 tel u nt 2 marry hm.,..xo God gave an instruction n u're asking men...........really u got 2 tel me u kidding bout askin us wat u ought 2 do |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by chibic(m): 12:52am On Apr 03, 2015 |
valdes00:this is exactly what I think. Personally, I won't have nothing to do with a woman who is still schooling after everything I witnessed in my UNI days. A lot married women were there having open affairs because their husbands are living in another cities. How much more an ordinary fiance? My friend was hustling and sponsoring his fiance in school while the babe was sleeping with her school mates until the guy found out. He regretted so much. I won't even advice anyman to get involved with a female student unless she goes to school from home. Some will still get a boyfriend there. Its really scary and I don't blame the guy in this story. What the girl is supposed to do is to get married to him and later continue with her education. Its that simple! The guy is getting old and wants to marry. So I don't see any reason why this girl will want him to wait more years. But, on the course of doing her masters while the guy is waiting, she'll be getting older and may even not look attractive anymore to the guy hence, he may dump her along the line. She's 27 already. Time waits not for women. Make she no go reach the point where she will want to marry anything at all at all. Most of the women spewing gabage here will quit their masters pursuit and marry the guy immediately. He works in oil company and well paid- he's hot cake!!! 4 Likes |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by detunj: 12:52am On Apr 03, 2015 |
Atleast u gat a fiancee and money for masters degree Just follow ur heart A piece of advice....further ur career 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by ifewise(m): 1:34am On Apr 03, 2015 |
From d look of things ur heart desire is to further ur Msc atm,Dont rush into marriage.It's not everything u must say Yes to no matter how Good it might look,Say No to the dude & Follow d wish of ur Mum. |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by AreaFada2: 1:43am On Apr 03, 2015 |
ronald4lif:. Well, marriage/love has helped millions of women. Since eternity. What guarantee is there to land a good job with her Master's later? Not all women with successful careers also succeed in love/marriage. It depends on her. If at 27 she feels marriage can wait or she can live with just a successful career if needs be, no problem. I think discussing with the guy about starting her part-time PG in say 2 or 3 years would be an option. If the guy believes FE is no option, then she has to choose. She might even land a good job in the next 2 or 3 years without PG. |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by delors(m): 1:51am On Apr 03, 2015 |
If there is anything I have learnt, it is that, when your family member (especially a praying one) objects to your choice of partner, it is extremely delicate and should be treated with utmost caution. If your mum says she doesnt see the guy as your future partner, i'd say pray but trust me, he's not gonna be your future partner. You are not stranded! You have a choice to further your studies, go for it even if you want to be with the guy, he'd allow you to go and come back. So take your masters with both hands....God has a plan for you already. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by Nobody: 1:53am On Apr 03, 2015 |
dre11: Never ever give up on your dreams because of any human being. Go face your studies. If you're educated and beautiful and could get this jerk then you can get another jerk when you're ready. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by confboy: 1:59am On Apr 03, 2015 |
why confused when your mum can help you know God's will......I have a strong feeling that you and your mother are not being truthful,,,,check your conscience |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by TopHand: 2:09am On Apr 03, 2015 |
Some people only know how to create problem for themselves, when life is good, they go carry their hand press self destruct button, my sister dont wait 4 condition to change b4 u become wise, u have got a degree, u have found a decent man, d only u do not have is a job, now yur man says lets marry, u dey talk about master's, u dey decieve yurself u run go church de pray, question? how years u don de live with this man wey u dey open leg 4 am every night, na now u wan know if he b the right one? all becos he say he wan marry u, i think u say u go university? when u dey uni u get boyfriend? anybody wey go university go know say na like helicopter woman just dey fly from tom dick and harry, from yur talk e bi like say u no love de man u just de use am until something better comes along, i beg mercy de man, let am go, go get yur master's on yur own, after that carry de master's find job and husband 3 Likes |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by anitank(f): 2:10am On Apr 03, 2015 |
Honesty I think the only reason this is conflicting for her is the fact that her mum said he is not the will of God for her. I hate it when mothers get in the way using religious sentiments. She should be able to make decisions based on her own choice. Yes, I am one of those super ambitious ladies and I understand how she wants to make her own money and be independent, but getting a masters degree does not in anyway guarantee she'd get a decent job immediately, talk-less that dream job. And besides if she really wants to get a masters degree, can't she do so after her wedding? I'm sure that's the reason the man gave her an ultimatum and not because he doesn't want her to further her education. Then again, getting married to a man who works in an oil company may be all she needs to get that dream job, even without a masters degree, as she would get to meet her husband's friends and colleagues who have the connections to get her one. You know how it is about getting jobs in Nigeria People should stop blaming the man as I do not see him as one who is controlling and doesn't want the best for his woman. At 27, the lady is still very immature when it comes to decision making. She knows what she wants but doesn't known how to set her priorities wisely 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by Nobody: 2:16am On Apr 03, 2015 |
So we are supposed to advise a tribune newspaper dear yemisi writer On nairaland?  3 Likes |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by emyjones: 2:27am On Apr 03, 2015 |
Just wondering if the guy in question was a primary school teacher and the issue of further education as stated was brought forth which he objected....Would you come on this forum still confused?.... Oil money don confuse person oooo! |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by Nobody: 3:08am On Apr 03, 2015 |
My dear I will speak on ur fiance first!1. Goin to get a master's degree can not stop u guys from seltling down @ all if he insist on u not getting a master degree so as to seltle with him wacth him well he is this type of guy dat controls ladies and dats not good news!2!check the spirituallity of ur mum!throught ur years on earth how can u attest to ur mums spirtual life if fruitful and u have seen eveidence then just hid to her advice!thanks amd kelvin and am guy!so believe me! |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by innovestor(m): 3:18am On Apr 03, 2015 |
She should follow her mum's advice. Only time will tell if the mum was right or wrong. if she was right, Glory to God. If she was wrong, she should blame herself for the decision. Nonsense. Na only Your mama fit hear from God?? |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by cococandy(f): 3:36am On Apr 03, 2015 |
adozie: 3 Likes |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by cococandy(f): 3:38am On Apr 03, 2015 |
@bold so you know the man? anitank: 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by wwwbabe(f): 4:04am On Apr 03, 2015 |
How do you know the will of God? let me tell you, its your inner voice talking to you with conviction. At this stage of your life, you are solely responsible for your actions and innactions. In this case, you are the only person that is right. Pray to have a mind of your own |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by fareedah86: 4:24am On Apr 03, 2015 |
Dygeasy: Ummmmm...many pple's who went ahead after they have been seriously warned are regretting y they dnt wait for the will of God for their lives. My dear confirm what your told by going into prayer and fasting yourself,God himself will show u what u seek. Be born again but be wise. |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by toykathy(f): 4:28am On Apr 03, 2015 |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by NobleG1(m): 4:43am On Apr 03, 2015 |
He has no right to stop you from furthering your education, UNLESS of course if he is the one going to be responsible for the financial aspect of it. If so, he has right to choose where his money goes. But if your parents are going to finance you, then don't let anyone hinder you. If the guy is serious about you he'll wait till you finish before wedding comes or marry you (if you wish) while you pursue your educational dream. Although marraige can distract you in school if you have a j*erk as a husband. I know many women and men who got their degrees while married. A man can come into your life and leave anytime, but your education stays in you throughout your life. If you were my sister, I would tell you to "dump his a*ss". There's are many of men who will appreciate you. Nobody has only one potential match. In fact, we all have thousands of potential life partners. 90% of people who are married, didn't marry their first choice. Your mum or anyone can't choose a man (you're going to spend the rest of your life with) for you. And don't let anyone force you into marriage! Cut the church or god crap! Do what you must do by yourself for yourself. Do NOW what you know will make you happy in FUTURE. I guess you're educated. You should know better. |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by Nuzo1(m): 4:56am On Apr 03, 2015 |
Seems you are only afraid of losing the guy cos he works in an oil company. I understand, but sometimes we are too afraid to lose something that we forget that there are better options by the side. But how does getting married stop a lady from running a part-time masters program? |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by drehdinho(m): 5:08am On Apr 03, 2015 |
I'm very sure that the lady in question had long decided what to do before now. She only wants to know the numbers of people in support of what she had done in order to clear any form of doubt in her mind. Psychologically, a lady in her marriageable age will do anything to get hooked to a man as soon as possible ,even if it means she has to start building up things with him from the scratch. But on the other hand, Getting a man who is already made,will be the best option the world can offer any lady. And that's what most ladies pray for. And the lady in question here has got it, so what's the need for the rhetorical question hun! 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by Nobody: 5:25am On Apr 03, 2015 |
Sometimes,I see lots of people as being not deserving of any sympathy. Your mother told you something of value,you now decide to ignore it ,then visit beer parlor nairaland forum for their opinions. Anyway,go for your Master-fulfill your dream. Don't ignore your other's counsel. |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by eckersley: 5:27am On Apr 03, 2015 |
ronald4lif:Hopefully true. Then d change does not require a folder full of degrees before it gives one a job. If she's convinced w/o a doubt and has gotten PERSONAL spiritual clearance, she shd go ahead and marry him. After May 29th, a BSc or it equivalent shd get her(and anybody) a job in our CHANGED Nigeria 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by DinhoMVP: 5:31am On Apr 03, 2015 |
There is no issue here go and do your masters programme now! You may never have the chance again. If he wants to leave let him go forget about the money he has now think about the fact that u would want to be a wife to a loving caring and understanding man not a slave to money and moreover very soon ur CV will be more attractive and who says u can't boss him someday...if he really loves u he will support u as long as u on ur part will be true and faithful to him even while running ur program. GOD guide ur decisions sweetheart. |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by eckersley: 5:33am On Apr 03, 2015 |
Omotolu:Can u kindly tell us who told her Mam d man to marry? Most mums, after making d wrong choices in marriage, want to vicariously correct their lives' mistakes in d lives of their children. And would go any length to scare them (will of God, i had this and that dream/ revelalation just) to live out the lives they (the mums) fantasized about but couldn't live. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by Nobody: 5:42am On Apr 03, 2015 |
eckersley:...I deliberately refused to talk about the fiancee. Mother's counsels are golden,no matter their misguided lifestyle. I refer to her acquiring her Master degree because her getting a Master degree supersede the description of the said fiancee.wish her well... |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by golddeejay(m): 5:42am On Apr 03, 2015 |
this is nt even worth dabating over if they love each other. Even undergraduates are getting married with no stress. U guys can eat ur cake and have it at d same time. Go for ur masters and still get married. You need to communicate better. To me, if u really love each oda, then this is no issue. Or does he wants u as a full housewife before? The only problem is if ur programme is outside the country or very far. 3 Likes |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by eckersley: 5:45am On Apr 03, 2015 |
habeebcole:At first ur line of thot made sense until u segued off a cliff, rambling change countlessly like a babalawo incanting |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by hurricaneindia(f): 5:45am On Apr 03, 2015 |
SagePerv:Are you serious? Marriage is not vanity? To this kind of guy for that matter? |
| Re: I Am Torn Between HIM And Masters Degree by Nobody: 5:49am On Apr 03, 2015 |
A fiance already giving you ultimatum before marriage? *scratches head* This is a huge red flag already. What stops him from doing some traditional rites to secure you first, then allow you to travel. I don't think this situation should be a problem for him, except he has some bad domineering traits . Please listen to your mother, if she is weary of him already, then there may be problem with this choice of partner as I believe mothers are happy when their daughters have suitors.Please further your education, don't rush to marry this guy. 1 Like |
to pursue higher education, unless he intends to dominate her. I am very worried that he is giving you the option to choose between your education and him. Mark my words, this is the begining of the many of such ultimatums to come[/b].
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