Montaque:
don't judge a fellow man harshly before meeting him.
Take a careful look at the flow of thought of the written article of the OP, you will discover she is not the "fluid" witty type. She may not have given up herself to negotiating with this man.
This man may be averting the possibility of losing his wife to a sleek uni bf, we were also in sch and we knew what happened. I even decided to marry a woman who is out of sch completely.
So don't blame the man,he is securing what he wants to have,and may have given ultimatum because of the way the lady is going about it.
The only serious issue is the G factor. The OP should hear from God PERSONALLY... We saw some prophecy go wrong during the last election.

I've also seen men who because of the fear of losing their wives, stopped them from achieving their goals in life. must he marry her? leave her to realize her dreams. there're a lot of girls that are ready to marry him.

cococandy:


I wish I were optimistic like you to believe that no right thinking man in this century wants a woman that's not progressing financially or academically.
Just do a little opinion poll on nairaland alone and you will see that such men abound.

What she should seek for is work experience and not masters degree. There is no guarantee that she will get a job with the masters. Work experience gets you even greater opportunities than masters degree. She has bachelors degree and that is enough for her at this stage of her life.

She shouldn't abandon other aspect of her life unless she is not convinced that he is 'the one'.

dre11:




http://www.tribune.com.ng/quicklinkss/converse-with-yemisi/item/33111-i-m-torn-between-him-and-masters-degree

u re 27years and have finished ur university, and u luckily got a guy that is working a good job and is ready to marry you, and why are you so obsessed with masters degree, when you are getting old, you women of nowadays are visionless and have been deillussioned by education and western life, in the fact that you people have lost the values of knowing ur roles as women in this society, dont go and get married stay and do masters degree, after masters degree then u will go and create ur own man to marry, then as for ur mum she has made her own home so listen to her fake and unreal prophecies that he is not ur man, she should then go and create ur man for you, you women are ur own worst enemies, go and futher ur masters degree..after then you marry ur masters degree certificate...

ronald4lif:
What a condition.

She should dump his sorry ass and pursue her career/masters.

Relationship and men/women can wait but career-pursuit waits for no one. Earlier the better.

Should she succeed tomorrow drones of guys will be wrestling to win her love.

Who love don help

shut up a kid like you, what do you know about love...

[quote author=cococandy post=32291739][/quote]
There are three kinds of men, the one who achieve success, the one working towards success, and the one sitting down, you see nos1 and nos 2 no dey sit wait for any woman to come tell am make he begin walka fast, he know say once he don make am babies of different colour and sizes go de find, I agree say education/knowledge/business abilities dey very good for every human being, but woman get timer, man fit spend 10 - 15 years for school dey look for phd or whatever once he don make he go find correct wife fast fast whether he 40 years old or not, woman na only sugar mummy she go do, apart from that majority of men priority be say make wife fine make she sabi cook, certificate na jara 4 top, since this woman don already go university get degree waiting de stop from getting married? shey she still no fit make am with the degree?

ijustdey:



looks like the guy doesn't want her to attain higher educational qualifications because he feels it will get to her head and start misbehaving

Wrong. This is what the guy is thinking... am 35yrs old and have found a pretty chic of say 28yrs. Am OK financially so if we both add say 21yrs to our age our kids would have graduated I will be approaching my retirement age. So in order not to use my pension funds to train a child it'd better I settle down now. Mind you that kind of guy will have choices. So...

Please find out what his job is in the oil company. Are u sure he's not a security guard there? the only thing that is sure in a relationship is what you have NOT what he told you. The guy can come and tell u tomorrow that he's no longer interested and what will u do? Btw, you don't even need advice on this. Na ekiti you go school? Don't ever sacrifice your education for anyone not even anyone not even your husband.

Most of the women here got married before furthering their education,but here they are advicing another woman not to get married and choose her masters.
Same women will taunt and laugh at this babe if she eventually remains unmarried at 30.

SagePerv:
Marriage still remains the ultimate achievement to every woman. Forget the masters programme.

Stop chasing vanity. Go & get married.

A man who doesn't want ur progress is not worth ur husband even if he works with d presidency and live in aso villa with president nothing stops u from getting married while in sch for ur masters as per dt he is not ur husband pls don't ignore it he has start showing the sign of a bad husband already pls run for ur der life u should be his companion not his slave. Go for ur masters if he is ur husband he will wait if not let him go the best is yet to come cos the beautiful 1s are not yet born. St obi's wife is 35+ wen she married him bt b4 den she is a chief techincal director with mtn she build her carrer 1st today she is mother of 3beautiful boys ,rich, eduacted,and yet married to a celebrity even lola okoye psquare wife @ her age she got a very young rich, hansome and above all talented young man. Pls go back to school let dt guy go to his village and pik a wife he can manipulate and manovoure. U r not his type QED

ronald4lif:
What a condition.

She should dump his sorry ass and pursue her career/masters.

Relationship and men/women can wait but career-pursuit waits for no one. Earlier the better.

Should she succeed tomorrow drones of guys will be wrestling to win her love.

Who love don help

I must commend ur ignorance and shallowness of thinking cause it has no reality in the real sense.Every woman life span is time based,as per marriage,if DAT time passes ,a babe may b in a regrettable condition for a lifetime or probably u r of d tout DAT u r a career oriented person,I can tell u plainly that the end will justify the means.

crisycent:
Please find out what his job is in the oil company. Are u sure he's not a security guard there? the only thing that is sure in a relationship is what you have NOT what he told you. The guy can come and tell u tomorrow that he's no longer interested and what will u do? Btw, you don't even need advice on this. Na ekiti you go school? Don't ever sacrifice your education for anyone not even anyone not even your husband.

so sacrifice marraige for education?, is master degree gurantee of becoming rich and successful in life and does having a master degree fireproof you from your husband leaving you? the bottom line bi say that money wey the guy get na he dey support the woman, she don know say to do the master degree she no get problem the man go support am, na he go pay the school fees, na he go pay accomodation na he go pay chop money, this man self he no get family? this no be question of insecurity at all, if the woman finish now come fly like helicopter go another man waiting the guy go do? afterall she don already talk say na master degree she want no be marriage carry am come, i beg make she carry her wahala commot, de man no get problem na she get am.

dre11:




http://www.tribune.com.ng/quicklinkss/converse-with-yemisi/item/33111-i-m-torn-between-him-and-masters-degree

Calm down and ask urself why is he so in a haste?
He asked you to choose between him and school....tell him you love him but there's a need to further your studies.... your mom maybe right
If he's sure the one why can't he encourage you to build your dreams... but ur personal decision matters too

What's type of guy is him

boykas:
Many girls in this platform can't help u...
some of them don't have that high proposal not to talk of a man proposing. Pls if u have doctorate degree even mamii degree, as a womAn u will definitely end up in a kitchen. Except u don't want to have kids

stay from girls giving shit advise...

What is 'high' about this proposal?

adozie:


I am a well educated professional in the same field with my wife. We both have advanced degrees. I have 4 daughters who are all smart and have high asppirations. I am sorry to say that I do not believe that any man who is willing to derail your pursuit for higher education truly loves you. He should embrace your interest in undertaking a masters degree.
Now let me tell you what I tell my girls on daily basis ; 'that man is only interested in you today because of what you have done for yourself". If you were a secondary school drop out, he will not be interested in you.
Intellectual and financial freedom is the only way a woman can protect herself from abuse from men (husband included). You can not give your husband absolute power over you, and you do so be denying yourself these two important survival tools in the modern world.
Honestly I can not understand why a successful like he is will think of not encouraging a future partner (note"partner" to pursue higher education, unless he intends to dominate her. I am very worried that he is giving you the option to choose between your education and him. Mark my words, this is the begining of the many of such ultimatums to come.

WORD form an experience soul

hurricaneindia:

What is 'high' about this proposal?

read where the man works..if he's caring and trustworthy. She should go ahead and take the offer.
am talking of experience...first my boss is 46 and she's beautiful. Right now she's not married. I always pity nd pray for her

any more questions

boykas:


read where the man works..if he's caring and trustworthy. She should go ahead and take the offer.
am talking of experience...first my boss is 46 and she's beautiful. Right now she's not married. I always pity nd pray for her

any more questions

So because he works in an oil company, it is a 'high' proposal? Smh.

adozie:


I am a well educated professional in the same field with my wife. We both have advanced degrees. I have 4 daughters who are all smart and have high asppirations. I am sorry to say that I do not believe that any man who is willing to derail your pursuit for higher education truly loves you. He should embrace your interest in undertaking a masters degree.
Now let me tell you what I tell my girls on daily basis ; 'that man is only interested in you today because of what you have done for yourself". If you were a secondary school drop out, he will not be interested in you.
Intellectual and financial freedom is the only way a woman can protect herself from abuse from men (husband included). You can not give your husband absolute power over you, and you do so be denying yourself these two important survival tools in the modern world.
Honestly I can not understand why a successful like he is will think of not encouraging a future partner (note"partner" to pursue higher education, unless he intends to dominate her. I am very worried that he is giving you the option to choose between your education and him. Mark my words, this is the begining of the many of such ultimatums to come.

God bless you and your family sir. I have learnt something from your comment.

TopHand:

so sacrifice marraige for education?, is master degree gurantee of becoming rich and successful in life and does having a master degree fireproof you from your husband leaving you? the bottom line bi say that money wey the guy get na he dey support the woman, she don know say to do the master degree she no get problem the man go support am, na he go pay the school fees, na he go pay accomodation na he go pay chop money, this man self he no get family? this no be question of insecurity at all, if the woman finish now come fly like helicopter go another man waiting the guy go do? afterall she don already talk say na master degree she want no be marriage carry am come, i beg make she carry her wahala commot, de man no get problem na she get am.

Why should the man pay for her masters? She decided to get a masters degree and I'm sure she's saved towards it. With a masters degree, her work future is brighter than an ordinary Bsc holder. Anything she can do to better herself is worth any sacrifice and any man that is preventing his girlfriend from achieving her goal is a wizard!

neoapocalypse:


Those requirements are archaic

The qualities I want :

1) The only daughter of wealthy parents

2) A recovering nymphomaniac

3) Gravity defying mammary glands(NASA must
be studying it for anti-gravity)

That your 3rd point looks arcade for me

My dear sister, the truth is you need to seek the face of God first. I believe God is there and waiting to direct you on this very important issue of your life. In fact, he is already speaking but all you need to do is to pay attention to Him!

Meanwhile, you and your guy need to sit down and iron things out. Present your case well before him. Make him see reasons why you want to further your studies. Its all about understanding. Your carrier and your marriage have to work hand in hand together. That is if God says he is the man for you.

More importantly, i don't want you to sideline your mum's advice concerning your marital choice. As a matter of fact, she is in the best position to advice you on that after your pastor.

I was once in your position before, my mum told me he wasn't the rite choice for me, though my friends advised me to marry him then. I prayed about it in references to a particular Bible passage . I let go of the relationship, enrolled for my master program and now doing my PhD. Now planning to get marry to a better choice.

Note, any marriage that will not support your goal or dreams as a woman is not the best for us. It might be good but probably not d best. That is where the place of compatibility comes in, you must share the same goals, values, interest, same vision etc. You both need to work together to support each other dreams if you both love each other deeply.

You alone can make the decision yourself. No one knows you the way you know yourself. You know what you want. Pray about it, get confirmation from God and go for it!

D guy erred by telling u, u shud choose btw him n ur master's program, my dear u need to follow ur mum's decision, mayb she has seen dat in d drm, so my advice is to go 4 ur master's n d will of God wil kum later, dont b cajoled by d fact dat he's wrking in an oil company.

Edusouls:
u re 27years and have finished ur university, and u luckily got a guy that is working a good job and is ready to marry you, and why are you so obsessed with masters degree, when you are getting old, you women of nowadays are visionless and have been deillussioned by education and western life, in the fact that you people have lost the values of knowing ur roles as women in this society, dont go and get married stay and do masters degree, after masters degree then u will go and create ur own man to marry, then as for ur mum she has made her own home so listen to her fake and unreal prophecies that he is not ur man, she should then go and create ur man for you, you women are ur own worst enemies, go and futher ur masters degree..after then you marry ur masters degree certificate...

What is this??
Some Nigerian men... God forbid!

boykas:


read where the man works..if he's caring and trustworthy. She should go ahead and take the offer.
am talking of experience...first my boss is 46 and she's beautiful. Right now she's not married. I always pity nd pray for her

any more questions

Your boss is 46 and not married and you're pitying her? Why?? Has it ever occurred to u that maybe she's not interested in marriage?? Is Marriage by force? Is it something every woman or man must accomplish?. Have u ever bothered to ask her if she's happy the way she is?. Your myopic way of reasoning baffles me

dre11:




http://www.tribune.com.ng/quicklinkss/converse-with-yemisi/item/33111-i-m-torn-between-him-and-masters-degree

dd the guy in question said dat after marriage u can't under go ur masters even acquiring ur PhD?...Note! U er scared of losing him because of his occupation ad the clause..."Well paid...". U ad only u knw d knd of person he is..yu guys should sort urslves out unless if d condition being on June is over emphasized by the guy..it means dat dia is strng attachment to d date ordinarily u may nt be aware. My fear is whether u'll enjoy dat marriage if eventually u yield to dat condition. If u believe in ur mum..,I think u hv to giv it a second thought against d fear of rushing out frm such marriage.

Dear, u can't eat your cake and still have it, if u are keen on pursuing a career, then go for it and if he cannot wait for u, discharge, there's no rush in marriage so dont be pressured to get into it.

ijustdey:



looks like the guy doesn't want her to attain higher educational qualifications because he feels it will get to her head and start misbehaving

Decisions to marry from d guy's end might not come cheap ooo, bachelorhood at times could be frustrating, If u fink all other things are set. Getting a higher degree can always come later. Oko won lode oooo

Sharksblow:

I've also seen men who because of the fear of losing their wives, stopped them from achieving their goals in life. must he marry her? leave her to realize her dreams. there're a lot of girls that are ready to marry him.

every of these situation can be negotiated. the man hasnt said she should not achieve her dreams.

Before you finish Dat Masters u will b as Old as ur Mama 27 yrs smh... + 3 yrs = 30 yrs....

I reject the spirit of marrying a 30 yrs old Lady in my Life IJN

You have been adviced already. Pray about it. Thank God you have a good friend and mother. Pray to God to reveal His plan for your life to you. And concerning the marriage, it is not something you can rush into like that because it is a life long commitment. Once you make a mistake about it, it cannot be amended. TAKE YOUR TIME. I will also advice you to inform your pastor about it. Just make sure that you know what God wants for your life. God bless you.

Does this need an answer?

What the elders see while sitting. a child cannot see even if he climbs an iroko tree.

Your mother has spoken. She has her reasons. Find out and start from there.

Well as far as am concern this is really not an issue, any relationship that both parties can't find equilibrium or put away personal agenda (sacrifice) then the relationship is not worth it. Is it a crime for u to marry and still pursue ur Masters? The guy and u need to understand ur differences that's all. May God help u