D9ty7:
thronekid, I see you.
Princesssusan, you be Hausa? No wahala.
Be back later to read nd criticise, but since oga thronekid don point out somethings, I knw, there z nothing to talk abt anymore.
Toykathy, candy, stuff46, na my eyes I take see una. Good morning.

Oga mi, she still need U o. Quick come back.

Teebashy:

Let does who need d lap sit on it, I no need am
Just take my seat near harjibolar10, he is d surest guy for nw

You're free, Dear. Harjibolar's the same thing as Throne. Na my close padi, so, no Prob.

I'm sure Mhizashantee1 would be very willing to take Ur place!

Harjibolar10, U feel?

Oga dee, na me you see.
Onemansquad and skimpledawg make una come read hausa marriage life. incase you get hausa babe, e no ge hard to learn the logic of how things happen over there

kenwins

D9ty7:
thronekid, I see you.
Princesssusan, you be Hausa? No wahala.
Be back later to read nd criticise, but since oga thronekid don point out somethings, I knw, there z nothing to talk abt anymore.
Toykathy, candy, stuff46, na my eyes I take see una. Good morning.

i see u too boss. Hope update don full ground for ur thread

toykathy:


i see u too boss. Hope update don full ground for ur thread

We dey collate election result abeg. I don update The Thomas. You know I didn't update at all yesterday.

stuff46:
Oga dee, na me you see.
Onemansquad and skimpledawg make una come read hausa marriage life. incase you get hausa babe, e no ge hard to learn the logic of how things happen over there

kenwins

I'm ryt here bae....
@ skimpledawg, api elction to u too.

D9ty7:

We dey collate election result abeg. I don update The Thomas. You know I didn't update at all yesterday.

hmmm.... The Thomas, I read just 3pages and d lazy me have bn postponing the reading. I will read it now since u didnt update my choice of story.

I wonder why I am seeing this story today. Well, I am a northerner and to be candid, captivated by your story. Keep writing, will comment after reading. By the way, thanks for inviting me.

Teebashy:

Let does who need d lap sit on it, I no need am
Just take my seat near harjibolar10, he is d surest guy for nw

You are welcome dearie. ..







But thronekid fit kill person oo, because of you

thronekid:

You're free, Dear. Harjibolar's the same thing as Throne. Na my close padi, so, no Prob.

I'm sure Mhizashantee1 would be very willing to take Ur place!

Harjibolar10, U feel?

The problem be say, I no dey feel anything

And you won't Want to do that @b.olded...




Thanks for the invitation sire

You gat a nice work doing here ma'am, With the help of those who are here, which I'm not excluded, this story will surely be Wow...


Wait, she na so those hausa people dey do ni, or this Rabe just wan dey do one kind... Cos he too arsh ooo. I don't seems to understand why he has to treat his wife like. .. Don't know what to call it gaa self



Contunu btw

stuff46:
Ire iren Wa'anan abubuwan shine ake samu a duniyan nan yanzu.

Thanks on the awareness to the general public on it.

Thanks for the mention hajiya susan, i hope the wife copes with this ill-treatement for the time being.

Thanks stuff46

D9ty7:
thronekid, I see you.
Princesssusan, you be Hausa? No wahala.
Be back later to read nd criticise, but since oga thronekid don point out somethings, I knw, there z nothing to talk abt anymore.
Toykathy, candy, stuff46, na my eyes I take see una. Good morning.

Oga mi u‘r welkum o, errmm yes n no. Yes i‘m hausa n no i‘m idoma

harjibolar10:
You gat a nice work doing here ma'am, With the help of those who are here, which I'm not excluded, this story will surely be Wow...


Wait, she na so those hausa people dey do ni, or this Rabe just wan dey do one kind... Cos he too arsh ooo. I don't seems to understand why he has to treat his wife like. .. Don't know what to call it gaa self



Contunu btw

Well i won‘t generalized bt mostly it happens when d man married d woman in a cheap condition, a kind of rich& poor thing.
But don‘t worry u‘ll understand better wit more updates.

TiffanyJ:
I wonder why I am seeing this story today. Well, I am a northerner and to be candid, captivated by your story. Keep writing, will comment after reading. By the way, thanks for inviting me.

Tnx ma‘am

stuff46:
Do you mean serious about this? Were in kt?

Yea i‘m in kt dutsinma to be precise. Do u knw kt?

i wonder why there is no update here Princesssusan, come here sharp sharp

toykathy:
i wonder why there is no update here Princesssusan, come here sharp sharp

Sweeety abeg no vex nah only one bar i get o.
It won‘t b enof, later in d day i promise

princesssusan:

Sweeety abeg no vex nah only one bar i get o.
It won‘t b enof, later in d day i promise

no qualms. Waiting......

toykathy:
i wonder why there is no update here Princesssusan, come here sharp sharp

toykathy:


no qualms. Waiting......

This early morning? Una no dey sleep?

harjibolar10:

The problem be say, I no dey feel anything

And you won't Want to do that @b.olded...




Thanks for the invitation sire

You gbayi Jare.

D9ty7:


This early morning? Una no dey sleep?

Hahaha see pot calling kettle black.

Princesssusan, I will just point out some errors I have noticed in the story. I would have loved to quote your updates, but there is no time to do that, so I will just point them out anyways.
1. Your use of Tenses: I want to believe you are writing in past tense or you intend to write in the past tense. I may be wrong cos I am not a grammarian, but I think your narrations should go like; Rabe walkED out of his room and switchED on the tele as he sat down to watch the early morning news. Take note of your tenses, that's all I can tell you.
2. Story time: I have a question about this. When exactly is the story taking place? Is it in the present day or in the past, like when the world was still dark and uncivillised. The way you potrayed Rabe doesn't show that the story is in the present. And I saw you say something about television, which means, there is a bit of civillisation in the story. Maybe in the early 2000 or late 90s, just clearify abeg.
To have Rabe's wife endure the abuse, then the story must be way back in the past. I mean, no woman will stay in an abusive marriage in the present day.
3. Paragraphing and spacing: I don't know the kind of phone you use in typing. Therefore, the above may be due to the phone you use. If it is down to the phone, then you can continue, afterall you can't change phone cos you want to post your stories online.
4. Dialogue: This is a very important aspect of a story, either prose or drama. Aside you letting us feel the story from your narration, we should feel whatever the characters feel from what they say. And please, I had problem reading up your updates, you know why? I can't differentiate between a character talking and you narrating. To solve that problem, you could let your update look like this;
Rabe walked out of his room and switched on the tele as he sat down to watch the early morning news.
"Abdullahi...." He shouted his son's name.
"Saaaaaaaah." Abdullahi replied as he ran into the living room. "Saanu baba." He greeted.
"Ida lafia?" His father asked.
"Alhamdullilahi." Abdullahi replied.

That way, one can differentiate between a conversation(dialogue) and narration.
What other thing? That's all for now. Maybe before the end of the day, I will go over the updates once again to scout for more errors.
All in all, you have a good start to the story. We don't see stories like this everyday on Nairaland. All we see are the Range rover evoque and salads. See you later at the top.

**********************************
Continuation

He cleared his throat, Alhaji abinda zan gayama zaka dauke shi a matsayin jarabawace daga Allah. Komi yafaru da dan adam daman ansan cewar mukkaddari ne daga na sama, saidai mu yawaita addu‘a don neman mafita.

Trans: Alhaji what i will tell you, you will take it as a test from God.
Whatever happens to a man was assigned from the one above. What we need to do is to pray continously in order to find a way out.

Rabe: Likita ina jira.
Trans: Doctor i‘m waiting.

Doc: Hmmm. Yayi ajiyar zuciya tare da sauke kanshi kasa.
Dangane da gwajin da mukayi da fitsarin ka ya nuna mana cewar Ciki ne dakai.

Trans: Hmmm, he sighed and dropped his head down.
Based on the test we carried on your urine proves to us that you are Pregnant.

Rabe: Ciki!!! wallahi-sam!!!

Trans: Pregnant!!! wallahi-never!!!.
Ta yaya za‘ayi inyi ciki? Ka taba jin cewar namiji kamata yayi ciki? Wanna ai maganar banza ce. Ya wurgas da hular shi tare da nannade babbar rigar sa.
Wai ciki!!!

Trans: How can i be pregnant? Have you ever heard of a man like me got pregnant? This is just a useless talk. Pregnant!!!

Doc: Alhaji calm down, i know you will be disturbed but this is not our doing.
And we dare not question God. Accept your trials in good faith.
I‘ll advice you to start ante natals right away because there are alot of things you need to know as par your condition.

Rabe: To hell with your anti whatever i‘m not pregnant and can never be.
Me zan cewa mutane? Wai ni Alhaji Rabe na yi ciki! Haba Allah sawwake bai taba yiwuwa. Ya tashi fuuuu ya bar asibitin.
Trans: What do i tell people? That me Alhaji Rabe is pregnant! Haba God forbid it can never happen. He stormed out of the hospital.

Doc: Alhaji ka bar hular ka da mabuddi.

Rabe: Na baka su kyauta.

Trans:
Doc: Alhaji you leave your cap and key.
Rabe: i give them to you free.

After walking about like an hour under the scorching sun, he decided to rest. He went and sat down under a neem tree.

Cik!!! Walahi-sam!!!

D9ty7 i see ur handwrk,i‘m greatful.
Actually the story is of recent happenening but you know we still have few obedient children/wife till date.
Yea is the fone i‘m using when i typed, the spacing will be okay to me bt when i update it i‘ll see something different pls bear wit me 4 d mean tym.
Tnk you so much 4 taking out ur tym to read n to correct, i appreciate.

princesssusan:
D9ty7 i see ur handwrk,i‘m greatful.
Actually the story is of recent happenening but you know we still have few obedient children/wife till date.
Yea is the fone i‘m using when i typed, the spacing will be okay to me bt when i update it i‘ll see something different pls bear wit me 4 d mean tym.
Tnk you so much 4 taking out ur tym to read n to correct, i appreciate.

That's true... There is still room for all of us to improve. So,as long as I am here, I will be pointing out some errors... The same way some people are pointing out mine... Next update abeg

Am in the capital sha. One of the days i come around there, i would notify you.

princesssusan:

Yea i‘m in kt dutsinma to be precise. Do u knw kt?

stuff46:
Am in the capital sha. One of the days i come around there, i would notify you.

Wow daz nyc, where in kt pls?

D9ty7:

That's true... There is still room for all of us to improve. So,as long as I am here, I will be pointing out some errors... The same way some people are pointing out mine... Next update abeg

That will be nice of you.

you go fear nah
letz take d talk to ur thread boss, shey u don update ni

Sabon line sha.

princesssusan:

Wow daz nyc, where in kt pls?

thronekid:
Princess, U're doing a great Job. Its Ur first work, I guess, so keep it on. Nice story line!

Regarding the silence thingy, U should get used to it. You're yet to experience it, but dont give it up. Very soon, U'll make it, I feel.

Now, permit me to chip in the few my Brain feels U should work on.
Firstly, think U should do better with your colons and symbols. You'ven't been making use of colons when neccessary. I think U should work on that.
Also, I think You should try to work on Ur dictions and choice of words, too. Sorry if this's getting too much, but I feel U should avoid Scribbling in short forms.

You might want to obey the rules of Capitalization also.

Stormangel, Alienstar, Mhizashantee1, Teebashy- Laps for free now.
Harjibolar10 and Fembleez1, Susan wan need una.

See you at the top like D9ty7 once told me. This line's been and still is one of my greatest verse for inspiration. You might draw importance from it too.

Continue.

Sorry for the long speech!

present sir! Sorry i came l8! Princessusan, babe ride on i dey ur back!