hello everyone,please i need advice on this
i am dating a south african lady for 8 months now and we work in the same firm. she says she loves me but the problem is :
i dont know if she really do love me or she just want a husband she can call her own,people around me especially our co workers always tag her arrogant,they hate me dating her.but she is never like that to me,she is always submissive and caring,although i do sense those arrogance traits from the way she receives calls of people that call her at odd hours,maybe when she is already asleep .
she is 4 years older than me and she has got 2 kids already.another thing i am tired of is the attitude of her always going to social media like facebook to voice her sadness if we had any misunderstanding because she knows i will always check on her timeline,and she always gets sad over little issues like when i drove her home one sunday after church and went to my home too,she was bitter and said if i really do love her ,i will take her to my house,when i remembered vividly i asked if she wants to go with me but she refused and said she wanna cook.
my friends always tell me,i can get a very young and fresh nigerian girl that has got no baby at home if i want to settle down and they will always love and respect me as the head o the house.
i am worried about the law of this country also that gives more right to women,you wife can tell you that its your time for you to make breakfast for the family,which is really scary to me.
she mentions those equal rights to me jokingly but i always shut her up,like asking me to make her breakfast
i can live this kind of human right life as a boyfriend but i am really worried and not ready to live it forever as a husband with someone i call my wife

Oga....do u wanna marry yet, or is she pressuring u to marry??

when you are ready to marry, come back home and pick one. besides, we dey look for who go help us marry the ones wey gather for house self.

Until the xenophobic nature in her blooms bfor u knw wat ure gettin urself into abi?
When there are lots of women out there ure tryin to stay wit someone who's older dan u, has 2kids, has arrogance issues, ur friends hate her, her country is xenophobic, and God knws wat oda behaviours she's nt revealed yet...

Marry her and she'll kill you. Xenophobia runs in her blood

Op, if u r true to yourself u know u don't want to marry this girl. We don't know and can't judge your relationship with her by what u just said especially since we don't follow both of you around.

But your tone in this message suggest to me even u don't want to marry this lady and one thing I have come to know is that ur hrt will never lie to u.

On a second thought, the lady doesn't sound too nice, u are young and want to settle down with an older lady with two kids all ur life? Hmmm

Walk away,they say shez arrogant(but ur saying she dosnt give you the attitude,shez pretending :dare propose and Marry then u ll see what am talking about

That woman would change after marriage

A wise man once told me, "If you want to know how a woman will treat you after marriage, watch how she treats her junior brother when no one is looking".
In your case, watch how she treats her subordinates at work.

brian4657:
hello everyone,please i need advice on this
i am dating a south african lady for 8 months now and we work in the same firm. she says she loves me but the problem is :
i dont know if she really do love me or she just want a husband she can call her own,people around me especially our co workers always tag her arrogant,they hate me dating her.but she is never like that to me,she is always submissive and caring,although i do sense those arrogance traits from the way she receives calls of people that call her at odd hours,maybe when she is already asleep .
she is 4 years older than me and she has got 2 kids already.another thing i am tired of is the attitude of her always going to social media like facebook to voice her sadness if we had any misunderstanding because she knows i will always check on her timeline,and she always gets sad over little issues like when i drove her home one sunday after church and went to my home too,she was bitter and said if i really do love her ,i will take her to my house,when i remembered vividly i asked if she wants to go with me but she refused and said she wanna cook.
my friends always tell me,i can get a very young and fresh nigerian girl that has got no baby at home if i want to settle down and they will always love and respect me as the head o the house.
i am worried about the law of this country also that gives more right to women,you wife can tell you that its your time for you to make breakfast for the family,which is really scary to me.
she mentions those equal rights to me jokingly but i always shut her up,like asking me to make her breakfast
i can live this kind of human right life as a boyfriend but i am really worried and not ready to live it forever as a husband with someone i call my wife

I doubt if she will acknowledge u as d head... She may be saying her mind jokingly presently, but I believe after marriage she's gonna be serious abt it...

Considerable number of South africa women are recalcitrant...

I was going to say marry her if you love her but the latter part of your post shows you will have issues if you do.I think you should find yourself another woman you can be more secured with.

@OP quit asap, you are obviously not happy about her

All the poster above me jelousy go kill all of una esp the female ones who are carry big spade and bag looking for where to dig gold from.

@ brian4657 do you know that such women will respect you more as a husband and be arrogant to other people? Never say never i will advice you draw a prenupital agreement with her like jayzee and beyoncee then move ahaed with her.
Come and thank me later

guy so ladies don finish for naija, so u choose to date a baby mama who has screw those lazy, hiv filled bantu dicck ...well the way i see it 6feet is not far from u, if u nor go check ur status right now.

i jst de laff , all these s.a hate nigerians with passion, just becos u are a working class man and comfortable person, she choose to tie u down??

my advice is, not to marry her, you know arrogant (xenophobia) is not associated with we'nigerians'(if you marry her, ur son might probably wake up one morning and stab u to death
)

guy is this me, i talk funny and harsh sometimes, but even when u come to nigeria and ask for my hand in marriage, i will not come near cos u have digged the pucci of s.a chicks .

my answer to ur question is, u shud probably stay with ur fiancee
cos one less hiv is better for nigerian ladies, pls continue digging the hiv filled pucci

D poster above is saying something stupid

hbpeze:
D poster above is saying something stupid

why dont u advise him instead

that was the best i can do..

now! bleep off

brian4657:
hello everyone,please i need advice on this
i am dating a south african lady for 8 months now and we work in the same firm. she says she loves me but the problem is :
i dont know if she really do love me or she just want a husband she can call her own,people around me especially our co workers always tag her arrogant,they hate me dating her.but she is never like that to me,she is always submissive and caring,although i do sense those arrogance traits from the way she receives calls of people that call her at odd hours,maybe when she is already asleep .
she is 4 years older than me and she has got 2 kids already.another thing i am tired of is the attitude of her always going to social media like facebook to voice her sadness if we had any misunderstanding because she knows i will always check on her timeline,and she always gets sad over little issues like when i drove her home one sunday after church and went to my home too,she was bitter and said if i really do love her ,i will take her to my house,when i remembered vividly i asked if she wants to go with me but she refused and said she wanna cook.
my friends always tell me,i can get a very young and fresh nigerian girl that has got no baby at home if i want to settle down and they will always love and respect me as the head o the house.
i am worried about the law of this country also that gives more right to women,you wife can tell you that its your time for you to make breakfast for the family,which is really scary to me.
she mentions those equal rights to me jokingly but i always shut her up,like asking me to make her breakfast
i can live this kind of human right life as a boyfriend but i am really worried and not ready to live it forever as a husband with someone i call my wife

Break her heart bro, we're counting on you. It's the least you can do for us!

did i tell you i dont know my status and hers too before i started dating her?we go checkup everything month,because i have got a medical insurance .i asked for advice not silly and irrelevant comments from people like you .

ireneony:
guy so ladies don finish for naija, so u choose to date a baby mama who has screw those lazy, hiv filled bantu dicck ...well the way i see it 6feet is not far from u, if u nor go check ur status right now.

i jst de laff , all these s.a hate nigerians with passion, just becos u are a working class man and comfortable person, she choose to tie u down??

my advice is, not to marry her, you know arrogant (xenophobia) is not associated with we'nigerians'(if you marry her, ur son might probably wake up one morning and stab u to death
)

guy is this me, i talk funny and harsh sometimes, but even when u come to nigeria and ask for my hand in marriage, i will not come near cos u have digged the pucci of s.a chicks .

my answer to ur question is, u shud probably stay with ur fiancee
cos one less hiv is better for nigerian ladies, pls continue digging the hiv filled pucci

brian4657:
we go checkup everything month,because i have got a medical insurance .i asked for advice not silly and irrelevant comments from people like you .

If you really like her you could care less about your friend's opinion.. After all Love is Blind

brian4657:
did i tell you i dont know my status and hers too before i started dating her?we go checkup everything month,because i have got a medical insurance .i asked for advice not silly and irrelevant comments from people like you .

so why are u crying of a spill milk
do u expect me to kiss ur a.s.s

this is nairaland, get use to it

i will gradually

ireneony:
so why are u crying of a spill milk
do u expect me to kiss ur a.s.s

this is nairaland, get use to it

She is 4 years older than you.
She has 2 kids,
she nags.
She is south african(remember this is part of the reasons their men antagonizes foreigners).
Bros,don't rush into her ooo.
That kind lady can be frustrating at the longrun.

ireneony:
guy so ladies don finish for naija, so u choose to date a baby mama who has screw those lazy, hiv filled bantu dicck ...well the way i see it 6feet is not far from u, if u nor go check ur status right now.

i jst de laff , all these s.a hate nigerians with passion, just becos u are a working class man and comfortable person, she choose to tie u down??

my advice is, not to marry her, you know arrogant (xenophobia) is not associated with we'nigerians'(if you marry her, ur son might probably wake up one morning and stab u to death
)

guy is this me, i talk funny and harsh sometimes, but even when u come to nigeria and ask for my hand in marriage, i will not come near cos u have digged the pucci of s.a chicks .

my answer to ur question is, u shud probably stay with ur fiancee
cos one less hiv is better for nigerian ladies, pls continue digging the hiv filled pucci

you harsh ooo.

BUT I CONCUR

ireneony:
so why are u crying of a spill milk
do u expect me to kiss ur a.s.s

this is nairaland, get use to it

typical of rude and arrogant gurls that the op is complaing about. Brian4657

virginboy1:
She is 4 years older than you.
She has 2 kids,
she nags.
She is south african(remember this is part of the reasons their men antagonizes foreigners).
Bros,don't rush into her ooo.
That kind lady can be frustrating at the longrun.

apart from me, u are the only commenter with a sensible comment

virginboy1:


you harsh ooo.

BUT I CONCUR

well i clearly stated it in my post"i can be funny/harsh"

nobody has d perfect character.all d reasons u stated are chidish reasons to leave her.why dnt u sit her down nd advice her.i dnt even tink u love her

virginboy1:
She is 4 years older than you.
She has 2 kids,
she nags.
She is south african(remember this is part of the reasons their men antagonizes foreigners).
Bros,don't rush into her ooo.
That kind lady can be frustrating at the longrun.

Yeah, I agree totally.
sometimes, love is just not enough, be more logical than emotional.

ireneony:
apart from me, u are the only commenter with a sensible comment

oh really, thank you.

madamGift:


Yeah, I agree totally.
sometimes, love is just not enough, be more logical than emotional.

Yeah exactly logic before emotion, at the end all one seeks in relationship is Happiness and not continous tolerance.Which might atimes lead to serious depression.

ireneony:
well i clearly stated it in my post"i can be funny/harsh"

hehehehehehehehe, it is apparent

Redoil:
All the poster above me jelousy go kill all of una esp the female ones who are carry big spade and bag looking for where to dig gold from.

@ brian4657 do you know that such women will respect you more as a husband and be arrogant to other people? Never say never i will advice you draw a prenupital agreement with her like jayzee and beyoncee then move ahaed with her.
Come and thank me later

Do not, I repeat, do not listen to this advice!

The picture of your future with someone is how he/she treats the people around them now!

If she's arrogant to people around her, she will DEFINITELY BE to you, its a matter of time.

All the things you listed, ask yourself, can you live with them when you marry her? Never you assume they will just disappear after marriage, never!

All the best, sir!

bro, stupidity is knowing What is right and not doing it.

you saw it,yet you want to go ahead. please don't come here to open another thread about your marriage not working,because the cyberspace is getting choked up.