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Judge This Case - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Judge This Case by Charliiee(m): 6:04pm On May 06, 2015
If she over feeds she'll be called a 'longer-throat', if she eats little she'll be called a 'waster', she politely declines and that's still a problem. In life just do you, you owe nobody nothing. if d mother-in-law objects cos of dat singular act, fine, she n her son can go to hell, life goes on, nobody is irreplaceable.

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Re: Judge This Case by erumena(m): 6:05pm On May 06, 2015
osile2012:
A young man has been dating this lady for about 2 years,They both have jobs, and get along well. The guy decides to take the relationship to the next level(Marriage). He calls his mother and tells her he will come to show her his wife to be. They traveled about 3 hrs to get there.

They got to the mans family house, she greeted the mans mother very well and everyone was happy. As the conversation went on, the mother inlaw went to the kitchen, came out and asked the girl where will she eat? in the parlour of dinning table? The young girl innocently said, "No ma, dont bother i am not hungry" . She said ok and brought pounded yam and soup for the man and he ate .

Conversation went on normally and they slept and traveled the next day.When he got back to base, called the mother and told her he had arrived. The mother said thank GOD, but what she wants to tell him is that, it is over her dead body that he will marry that girl that refused her food. He said all attempts to explain that they ate before getting there fell on deaf ears.

She said he has to choose between her and that girl.

I discussed this with some mothers, and they all said they would have done the same. No who is right and who is wrong ? Whose side are you on? the Lady or the mans mother.?

If you were the guy, what would you do? Marry her without your mothers blessing or find someone else ?

Honestly, the lady goofed. She watched the Mother-in-law to-be go to the kitchen, brought the food and asked her where she'll like to eat and she couldn't get up to help her out! She slept over and didn't taste anything till they left the next day. The woman has every right to reject her. The lady's action shows clearly that she does not accept the Mother-in-law, her going to see her was just to fulfil all righteousness, once the marriage is consummated, she'll show her real self. My Uncle failed to heed this same warning then, he never had a peaceful home. He keeps asking himself what changed his wife, not knowing that she's always been like that, she only succeeded in shielding her real self from him, but his mum saw it then.

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by nsiazu: 6:06pm On May 06, 2015
I will discuss with my fiance, then discuss privately with my mum and resolve with my mum first before telling my fiance to kneel down and appologise even she's not at fault but the kneeling down will show some respect.
Re: Judge This Case by DinhoMVP: 6:06pm On May 06, 2015
D girl no try sincerely.......the last place to reject food na ur potential inlaw place...first of all she suppose join mama for kitchen sef den no matter how little just taste the food for goodness sake its been over 3hrs u last ate something why u de form...this not withstanding tho I think mama shoul flarabale #iHaveSpoken
Re: Judge This Case by obowunmi(m): 6:07pm On May 06, 2015
this marriage business sha...
Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:07pm On May 06, 2015
softysparky:

Hahahahahahh but what happened to goat meat? I love goat meat oo.

@topic she has the right to get angry but not opposing the marriage to the extent of saying over her dead body.

I can actually get mama a very bad wife that can finish everything she cooked at first meeting.

I don't eat it o. I dey try eat am now, but then...it was a no go area. Nne the next time I went, she brought UKWA, inshort na the chaff of the ukwa I see for floor, start to announce that I am not eating ooo.
My MIL was now teasing me, that what do I eat kwanu. I told her i eat FOOD...lolz

Truetalk, the MIL is very petty. Y'know old age dey affect their reasoning sometimes.
Re: Judge This Case by mekaboy(m): 6:08pm On May 06, 2015
RaeMystix:


So you mean to tell me that the girl has no right to refuse to eat her so called future inlaw's food?.
The mother inlaw does need to take the stick out off her behind, cos it seems like she does not like the girl a bit, but just happened to have found one silly excuse to find

Now this is something that has happened just once, not twice, nor thrice...I call it bull $hit....He needs to speak with his mom and ask her if there is/are any other reason/s, why she does not find the girl suitable for him.....Then, he'll get the answer.

Perhaps he shouldn't Marry the girl, cos she might be the one dogging the bullet from the future -Monster inlaw, cos mama is insecure after seeing him in love he is with his girl, and might be that she is afraid that she wouldn't be ablegs to wrap her around her fingers?.
.Some Nigerian mom's are like that.


How do you know she didn't give the mama an helping hand in preparing the meal ?.


You dont have a second chance to make a first impression.
Re: Judge This Case by freecocoa(f): 6:09pm On May 06, 2015
That can never be reason enough to call off the relationship.

Granted,it would have been cooler if the lady ate but you don't force people to eat, what if she doesn't like nor even eat what was served? She was full for feck's sakes, I don't know any law that says you must eat a prospective MIL's food to be accepted.

2 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by tablu: 6:10pm On May 06, 2015
Except she is not a nigerian. It is uncourteous to refuse food from an african woman. She may feel slighted in away...

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by ijustdey: 6:11pm On May 06, 2015
Just here to read some funny comment
Re: Judge This Case by pring: 6:11pm On May 06, 2015
The girl is not really intelligent.
She should have joined the mother to prepare the food and eat it even if she is nt hungry. Even if she is cooking with charcoal or firewood.
That is the place that the husband to be came out from.
They say first impression matters.
For d guy, please he should look for someone else.
If ure mother and siblings does not love ure wife. that marriage is in doom. He will never enjoy it.
thats my stake.
Re: Judge This Case by Madcow(m): 6:12pm On May 06, 2015
you better run before it is too late... she failed to eat your mothers food probably because she thinks your mother will poison her... to have such a mindset is totally unacceptable...
Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:12pm On May 06, 2015
fairygeh:
You didn't make sense one bit
Girl says she was already full,does someone eat on top a filled belly?
Na by force? Would you rather she said she will eat and then waste the food? The same woman will be the one complaining she wasted food and would as such squander his sons money and food too
Some mothers in law swf,smh,
Honestly the lady should be very careful cos if she ends up marrying that guy,she would have so much problems with his mother .

You talk as if you are not a Nigerian, very baseless.. .

Hungry or not, she as well knows that through out that day, she is out to please the guy's mother.

But she failed... Whole fully for that matter....

I don't see why she can't at least taste the food... now you say wasting? She if had dared to waste the food, the relationship ends right there and I don't think any lady would show that kind of sheer stupidity.. .







EricRichie
Re: Judge This Case by Candybob(m): 6:13pm On May 06, 2015
Aiyekhuerihu!!! If you dont feel like eating dont, it is not by force...
Maybe she was shy, or her spirit told her to reject the food!
We should be careful how much you allow parents/in-laws or relatives dictate what happens in your relaionship! Next thing they will be causing problems in your marriage.

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by Youngpo413: 6:13pm On May 06, 2015
Blackett:
My mother can go sit down on a nice chair in this situation.

No way am I choosing her over the woman I love and want to marry.

Mothers can be very selfish and too unreasonable sometimes. Does she know how long I searched before I found the one? Why didn't she believe when I, her son, told her that we ate before coming? If she thinks she can ruin my plans because she gave birth to me, and because of some inconsequential nonsense about food, she should think again.
unbelievable
Re: Judge This Case by demmy0325(m): 6:15pm On May 06, 2015
Blackett:
My mother can go sit down on a nice chair in this situation.

No way am I choosing her over the woman I love and want to marry.

Mothers can be very selfish and too unreasonable sometimes. Does she know how long I searched before I found the one? Why didn't she believe when I, her son, told her that we ate before coming? If she thinks she can ruin my plans because she gave birth to me, and because of some inconsequential nonsense about food, she should think again.
.... Ode ni e.. Na ur type woman dey collect saturday ontop him hand giv am sunday.. So when the now girl nw jilt U or do smtin worse... Dah is wen u wil go bk 2 ur mum and rmba she is right.. Mothers r nt 2b taken for granted.. Listen to dem...

3 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by mekaboy(m): 6:16pm On May 06, 2015
Candybob:
Aiyekhuerihu!!! If you dont feel like eating dont, it is not by force...
Maybe she was shy, or her spirit told her to reject the food!
We should be careful how much you allow parents/in-laws or relatives dictate what happens in your relaionship! Next thing they will be causing problems in your marriage.

She should marry that her spirit as her spiritual husband.

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:17pm On May 06, 2015
RaeMystix:


So you mean to tell me that the girl has no right to refuse to eat her so called future inlaw's food?.
The mother inlaw does need to take the stick out off her behind, cos it seems like she does not like the girl a bit, but just happened to have found one silly excuse to find

Now this is something that has happened just once, not twice, nor thrice...I call it bull $hit....He needs to speak with his mom and ask her if there is/are any other reason/s, why she does not find the girl suitable for him.....Then, he'll get the answer.

Perhaps he shouldn't Marry the girl, cos she might be the one dogging the bullet from the future -Monster inlaw, cos mama is insecure after seeing him in love he is with his girl, and might be that she is afraid that she wouldn't be ablegs to wrap her around her fingers?.
.Some Nigerian mom's are like that.


How do you know she didn't give the mama an helping hand in preparing the meal ?.


Let's be realistic... Try that with your mother in law to be and see what happens next. ..

You'll be so single by the end of that day






EricRichie
Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:18pm On May 06, 2015
Kachisbarbie:


I don't eat it o. I dey try eat am now, but then...it was a no go area. Nne the next time I went, she brought UKWA, inshort na the chaff of the ukwa I see for floor, start to announce that I am not eating ooo.
My MIL was now teasing me, that what do I eat kwanu. I told her i eat FOOD...lolz

Truetalk, the MIL is very petty. Y'know old age dey affect their reasoning sometimes.
Goat meat is one of my favourite.

Yes the MIL is very petty and pretended as if all was well. What happened to persuading her or since they're sleeping over, allow her to rest or tell her to go dish for herself whenever hungry. I feel for the girl shaa I wonder what will happen if the girl offends her in future.

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by obinoral1179(m): 6:18pm On May 06, 2015
Blackett:
My mother can go sit down on a nice chair in this situation.

No way am I choosing her over the woman I love and want to marry.

Mothers can be very selfish and too unreasonable sometimes. Does she know how long I searched before I found the one? Why didn't she believe when I, her son, told her that we ate before coming? If she thinks she can ruin my plans because she gave birth to me, and because of some inconsequential nonsense about food, she should think again.
if she has wasted you,you won't be saying this trash you are saying.... My mother my mother.... Nobody fit b like her.
Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:18pm On May 06, 2015
demmy0325:
.... Ode ni e.. Na ur type woman dey collect saturday ontop him hand giv am sunday.. So when the now girl nw jilt U or do smtin worse... Dah is wen u wil go bk 2 ur mum and rmba she is right.. Mothers r nt 2b taken for granted.. Listen to dem...
You're a bird brained dumb fvcking _idiot.

Why don't you marry your mother then?

Son of a thousand fathers!

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Re: Judge This Case by Mariojane(f): 6:19pm On May 06, 2015
EricRichie:
This is the most reasonable post I have read today...

The guy's mother is right..

1) the lady should have joined his mother in the kitchen and should have aided her in the preparing of the food..

2) the lady failed the so called "mother in-laws" test.. Refusing to eat the food from your potential mother inlaw is considered highly disrespectful and condemnable..

The girl is a wolf in sheep's clothing, and the mother has clearly seen that she isn't the right person for her son..




EricRichie..
guy cul done first. D problem is dt d girl reject her food not that she refuse to join her in the kitchen. Maybe she offer to join her nd she told her not to worry.

Back to the topic
D girl did it innocently and its possible she was shy. The first time I visit my fiancé family, the sister told me not to bother joining her in the kitchen when the food was done my fiancé went outside to greet some people cos I was shy d mother ask me to eat I told her I will wait for him. From d first day till the day I left no matter how hungry I am I don't eat alone. Mayb she was shy
Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:20pm On May 06, 2015
Blackett:
You're a bird brained dumb fvcking _idiot.

Why don't you marry your mother then?

Son of a thousand fathers!


Hahaha grin
Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:21pm On May 06, 2015
obinoral1179:
if she has wasted you,you won't be saying this trash you are saying.... My mother my mother.... Nobody fit b like her.
Stop being so sentimental.

If no one can be like your mother, marry your mother and shut the fvck up!

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Re: Judge This Case by BCharlie: 6:21pm On May 06, 2015
LogoDWhiz:
Well, this is my advice.

Re-initiate the meeting.

Second chance.

And this time around, the girl should help the mum out and also eat her food.

I understand d woman's agitation but its unnecessary.
Because she eats her food doesn't make her a better person for her son.

wonderful response
LogoDWhiz:
Well, this is my advice.

Re-initiate the meeting.

Second chance.

And this time around, the girl should help the mum out and also eat her food.

I understand d woman's agitation but its unnecessary.
Because she eats her food doesn't make her a better person for her son.

wonderful response
LogoDWhiz:
Well, this is my advice.

Re-initiate the meeting.

Second chance.

And this time around, the girl should help the mum out and also eat her food.

I understand d woman's agitation but its unnecessary.
Because she eats her food doesn't make her a better person for her son.

wonderful response

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by emmatok(m): 6:22pm On May 06, 2015
Blackett:
My mother can go sit down on a nice chair in this situation.

No way am I choosing her over the woman I love and want to marry.

Mothers can be very selfish and too unreasonable sometimes. Does she know how long I searched before I found the one? Why didn't she believe when I, her son, told her that we ate before coming? If she thinks she can ruin my plans because she gave birth to me, and because of some inconsequential nonsense about food, she should think again.

Bros, it's an introduction and not an ordinary visit.

Even if she's full, she should at least eat with her boyfriend.

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by breadplanets(f): 6:23pm On May 06, 2015
The guy's mother should have made her displeasure known right there and then na. Instead of laughing and gisting with the girl like all was well and then saying what she said after they had gone. I remember when i went with my fiance to his uncles house for the first time, his wife brought out garri and correct oha soup and i said no o that i have eaten. The uncle's wife there and then said that i have failed her own test o by refusing her food. Nna na so i swallow 2 balls of garri o just to please her. So here now the babe might not have thought about the implications of her action. Anyway mothers in law should just take it easy abeg. Their own daughters will also go to another woman's house and probably make 1 or 2 mistakes. Its not the end of the world.

2 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:23pm On May 06, 2015
emmatok:


Bros, it's an introduction and not an ordinary visit.

Even if she's full, she should st least eat with her boyfriend.
Yes I agree.

Is that enough for his mother to ask him to "choose" between two of them?
Re: Judge This Case by mekaboy(m): 6:25pm On May 06, 2015
Mariojane:
guy cul done first. D problem is dt d girl reject her food not that she refuse to join her in the kitchen. Maybe she offer to join her nd she told her not to worry.

Back to the topic
D girl did it innocently and its possible she was shy. The first time I visit my fiancé family, the sister told me not to bother joining her in the kitchen when the food was done my fiancé went outside to greet some people cos I was shy d mother ask me to eat I told her I will wait for him. From d first day till the day I left no matter how hungry I am I don't eat alone. Mayb she was shy

she will join him is different from and better than im not hungry.
Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:25pm On May 06, 2015
You got it right, eye service!....that is what women like this end up with. Such ladies endure and are the very best wives at the beginning...when they begin to reveal their true character,the mother in law will know she is just a learner in trouble making.

And maybe the poor girl must have helped to wash the dishes not knowing her bigger crime was not eating.
I have a friend that will never taste pounded yam even if given millions.
By the way,pounded yam is one of my best........

softysparky:

And the mother pretended that all was well yet went behind to oppose their marriage.

Don't worry she will soon get one "eye service" lady that would finish her food and kill her son for her.

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by yommys01(m): 6:26pm On May 06, 2015
manny4life:
Any woman who rejects my moms food is not worthy of being called my wife.... Simple.

Drop your sophistication at the door... What the girl did is very disrespectful, no amount of damage control will remove the first impression.
Rejected it because she is not hungry oo and the OP didn't say she rejected it rudely!

That so called mother is simply so called.
Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:26pm On May 06, 2015
Mariojane:
guy cul done first. D problem is dt d girl reject her food not that she refuse to join her in the kitchen. Maybe she offer to join her nd she told her not to worry.

Back to the topic
D girl did it innocently and its possible she was shy. The first time I visit my fiancé family, the sister told me not to bother joining her in the kitchen when the food was done my fiancé went outside to greet some people cos I was shy d mother ask me to eat I told her I will wait for him. From d first day till the day I left no matter how hungry I am I don't eat alone. Mayb she was shy

Am sure the mother knows the difference between innocence and arrogance.. You weren't there so you can't possibly support the lady or know her facial expression ..

Imagine you as a mother and your son presents who he wants to marry.. . Certainly you're not wicked nor you're your son's enemy of progress...

Am sure the mother must have seen this act as disrespectful. ..

Different cultures are also to blame for this...

Also the girl's character is at a loose end and must be corrected...





EricRichie

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