pak:



You know, this talk about being Africans in Africa is responsible for many things being done wrongly.

We all think in a context - even the bible talks about behaving like Romans in Rome. Unless what you're being told to do is outright wrong.
I do business in the north and at meal times, some have this attitude of calling all the adult males in the house (even drivers) to come out and eat together (not in the same plate o..... I don't really like it but then I ALWAYS ensure I eat with them, it's a privilege in the first instance for a client to invite you into his house.


I tell you honestly, my mum will have no issues with me not eating nor touching anything, she would even ask me to rest more sef, not everything should be an issue, who did the chores before the girl got there? If she was to stay there permanently, it would be understandable, she was a guest for crying out loud.

I can assure you that every woman (at least african) would have issues with you staying over and not eating. Scratch the helping in the kitchen part, if you are really tired and they have a help in the house, they can definitely give you a pass.
Women are generally very sensitive, so it baffles me when they act insensitively to others.
Let me give you another scenario - what if it was your husband, he's been on a trip for months, he comes back home and has to leave the next day. On the day he comes, he refuses to eat claiming he has already ate, then the next day he still refuses to eat before leaving for another 6 months - I mean, you'll be right to feel slighted

She didn't commit a crime, she just showed she might lack the etiquette to be a good wife for her son.
And if she probably suspects the MIL of am ulterior motive, why then does she want to marry her son?

freecocoa:
Lack etiquette to be a good wife because she didn't eat? I didn't read the part that said she was served something else the next day and she still refused to eat, help me point that part out please.

If my husband ate out before coming home, believe me it will not be a big deal,(he should just make sweet love to me) so long as he didn't request I prepare something and then eat out, I don't see any problems here.

freecocoa:
Lack etiquette to be a good wife because she didn't eat? I didn't read the part that said she was served something else the next day and she still refused to eat, help me point that part out please.

If my husband ate out before coming home, believe me it will not be a big deal,(he should just make sweet love to me) so long as he didn't request I prepare something and then eat out, I don't see any problems here.

AZeD1:

Dude stop saying rubbish. Anyone who thinks it's disrespectful to reject food should have his examined.

Oh by the way I know a lady who from the first day she met her mother in law ate the food, and even washed the plate but I was there when she called the mother in an idiot after marriage.


Is the lady respectful?

pak:



Lack of etiquette because she didn't know what should be simple courtesy. A sign that she was probably not well raised. Simple things do matter. Ask any successful person. Their secret always lies in what everybody takes for granted.
He didn't say she was offered but based on the storyline, she apparently didn't eat the next day.
Considering, the kind of girls (and men) we have these days. Every woman is always apprehensive anout the kind of girl she hands over her son to (which is what it marriage sort of is). A lady that does not appreciate the importance of a first meeting with MIL (not just boyfriend's mum) and it's sensitivity in my own estimation is simply not good enough. Take it or leave it - it's some sort of tacit job interview, it's not just a meeting, it's an assessment. It's not about being pretentious, it's just being sensible

As I said, we don't reason in a vaacum, everything is contextual. Go ask any woman with a son of marriageable age and throw the scenario to them and get their response

fairygeh:

And u are very sensible right?. I refuse to pick on an e-fight tonight, in a very good mood,thank your stars.

pak:


Sweet love? How possible when him never chop

freecocoa:
I'm only quoting you because of this comment.

Abeg, I desperately want to see the "peril".

EricRichie:


Hahaha freecocoa, don't worry.. I won't show you the "peril". .. You're a lady and am a gentleman...

.. .

Btw

I want to some free cocoa... Would you mind?

freecocoa:
Feck off biko.

osile2012:
A young man has been dating this lady for about 2 years,They both have jobs, and get along well. The guy decides to take the relationship to the next level(Marriage). He calls his mother and tells her he will come to show her his wife to be. They traveled about 3 hrs to get there.

They got to the mans family house, she greeted the mans mother very well and everyone was happy. As the conversation went on, the mother inlaw went to the kitchen, came out and asked the girl where will she eat? in the parlour of dinning table? The young girl innocently said, "No ma, dont bother i am not hungry" . She said ok and brought pounded yam and soup for the man and he ate .

Conversation went on normally and they slept and traveled the next day.When he got back to base, called the mother and told her he had arrived. The mother said thank GOD, but what she wants to tell him is that, it is over her dead body that he will marry that girl that refused her food. He said all attempts to explain that they ate before getting there fell on deaf ears.

She said he has to choose between her and that girl.

I discussed this with some mothers, and they all said they would have done the same. No who is right and who is wrong ? Whose side are you on? the Lady or the mans mother.?

If you were the guy, what would you do? Marry her without your mothers blessing or find someone else ?

Ngokafor:


...@op your girl is better of without you and your mother..period!

EricRichie:


Okay thanks. . Take your stupidity elsewhere. ..

You're talking as if you don't know how cultured we Nigerians are...

Am tired of explaining this issue to id.iots like you...

Be realistic for once in your life....

Marriage is not only between the man and woman alone.. . The family is also involved. .

*yawns*





EricRichie

Temmytea70:


Its simple nah...let d man take d lady bak to d house and dey shud order the mother to prepare another meal....she easts and den leave.....

AZeD1:

Culture can be changed. Problem is idiots like you just take crap because it's culture.

Blackett:
My mother can go sit down on a nice chair in this situation.

No way am I choosing her over the woman I love and want to marry.

Mothers can be very selfish and too unreasonable sometimes. Does she know how long I searched before I found the one? Why didn't she believe when I, her son, told her that we ate before coming? If she thinks she can ruin my plans because she gave birth to me, and because of some inconsequential nonsense about food, she should think again.

AZeD1:

Culture can be changed. Problem is idiots like you just take crap because it's culture.

Ngokafor:


...@op your girl is better of without you and your mother..period!

Timbuktou:
I weep for this uncultured generation. One even said his mother should take a seat, smh. Too many things taken for granted and with levity.

Fiancee should have offered to help her boyfriend's mum in the kitchen, she didn't. When the food was ready and was offered some, she turned it down. We know their type, me-and-my-husband-alone women. She has failed to give a good account of herself and the mama has rejected her. I hope her son is wise enough to heed her advice.

What a damn shame.

Timbuktou:
I weep for this uncultured generation. One even said his mother should take a seat, smh. Too many things taken for granted and with levity.

Fiancee should have offered to help her boyfriend's mum in the kitchen, she didn't. When the food was ready and was offered some, she turned it down. We know their type, me-and-my-husband-alone women. She has failed to give a good account of herself and the mama has rejected her. I hope her son is wise enough to heed her advice.

What a damn shame.

Timbuktou:
I weep for this uncultured generation. One even said his mother should take a seat, smh. Too many things taken for granted and with levity.

Fiancee should have offered to help her boyfriend's mum in the kitchen, she didn't. When the food was ready and was offered some, she turned it down. We know their type, me-and-my-husband-alone women. She has failed to give a good account of herself and the mama has rejected her. I hope her son is wise enough to heed her advice.

What a damn shame.

Everydaeguy:
how cud u say dat.do u rili knw d meanin of culture..can u change ur identity..#culture is wot defines a particular entity,hw they live n all dat.it cnt b changed.can u change ur origin?