Pastor don enter one chance. The first lady is a "Virgin" he has known for years and the other lady that the pastor hasn't even seen is a "naïve house wife material" with a 3 year old baby

Tell the Pastor to pray over it.

The pastor no get Holyspirit or pray make God lead am?

paschu:
_________________________WARNING_________________________

Please this is not a joke. It's happening right now as we speak. So only thoughtful and ACTIONABLE responses are to be given. Please if you're not pretty sure that your advice is super good it would DEFINITELY be better to ONLY scroll through this thread, and just read and enjoy without talking. Thanks in advance for cooperating.

___________________NOW THE SITUATION___________________

A 36 years old pastor had been dating a young girl since the past eight years. He met this girl in her late teens and was actually very instrumental in shaping the young lady's moral perception and persona - though he NEVER supported the girl financially all those years. And that was because he was very, very poor, unschooled but probably better educated than many of our graduates today.

To give a few background, he single handedly guided the girl through the process of gaining admission to university after about three years of waiting. He also helped the girl develop self-confidence which eventually helped her to become a VP at her campus fellowship among other leadership roles.

Now the girl has graduated from the university, but her family opposed her intention to marry this pastor which ultimately contributed to their breakup late last year before her graduation proper.

Now an important point to remember is that this girl was a virgin when the pastor started dating her eight years ago, and according to what I heard, she's still a virgin up till now as a graduate about to go for her youth service.

Now the twist is that this pastor met another girl online early this year who lives in another state quite far from where the pastor is based but that's okay. But what's scary is that this second lady is a complete opposite of the first girl both in good and bad sides.

- She's a single mother with a three month old baby. (Though She's a graduate too about to go for service.) But the first girl is still a virgin.

- The first lady is a complex and classy type but the second lady is simple and almost-naive house wife material, according to what the pastor told me.

-The pastor has known the first girl and her family for years but he has not even met this second girl face to face.

- The first girl doesn't talk much and would rather bottle-up her emotion than let it show freely, which kind of drives the pastor nuts most times. But the second girl is said to be very, very expressive both vocally and emotionally.

Now the oddity is that the pastor has not only proposed marriage VIRTUALLY to this second lady but had actually fixed a wedding date and made lots of profound promises to her WITHOUT seeing her face to face.

Now I must also point out that the pastor's background is strikingly similar to this new girl's background based on what he told me. And I think that's where the stronghold is, even though he may not want to hear that.

Now the twist again is that the first girl WANTS THE PASTOR BACK as in right now. And the pastor is currently having a squabble with the new girl because somehow the girl wants him to accept her little son as his own son in a way the pastor thinks is kind of too demanding. The pastor told me in confidence that accepting another man's son as his first son is a big chunk to swallow but he wouldn't mind giving it a try if not that the girl is kind of making it appear like it's a condition for marrying her.

The reason I'm asking for your advice is that this pastor feels confident to move on with this second girl which I think is not a smart idea, but he's the pastor here.

What I want to do is to get a thread of unbiased advice and then try to get him to read it up.

Please let the wisdom juice of brilliant advice begin to flow now.

__________________________________
Thank you so much for participating.

NOTE: For those who are picking on the pastor, let me make few things categorically clear to you.

1) The pastor is NOT asking for your advice. For goodness sake READ the story and COMPREHEND it before commenting.

2) The second girl was in DEPRESSION when the pastor met her (because her supposed fiancé dumped her on the day of their traditional marriage). The pastor inspired her to come out of depression and get closer to God which she did. And she actually joined a major Pentecostal church in her state AND EVEN GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, as the pastor told me. It was after all these events that the pastor made his intention for marriage known.

3) The first girl wants to get back with the pastor and has called severally.

4) I posted this here to help the pastor see the matter from an unreligious but still REASONABLE perspective.

5) I'm pretty sure that Nairaland still has a bunch of intelligent people who are ABLE TO READ the story, UNDERSTAND it AND RESPOND to it in the proper context without insulting anyone.

tell the pastor to forget about the Internet girl or his life will soon be over be the child's father is locking around in the dark like the eyes of the devil looking for who to prey on for his failure. Let him go back to his creation the first girl she will marry him she just doesn't know yet, by the way what is keeping the pastor from fucking her for a period of 8yrs? He must be incomplete

paschu:
_________________________WARNING_________________________

Please this is not a joke. It's happening right now as we speak. So only thoughtful and ACTIONABLE responses are to be given. Please if you're not pretty sure that your advice is super good it would DEFINITELY be better to ONLY scroll through this thread, and just read and enjoy without talking. Thanks in advance for cooperating.

___________________NOW THE SITUATION___________________

A 36 years old pastor had been dating a young girl since the past eight years. He met this girl in her late teens and was actually very instrumental in shaping the young lady's moral perception and persona - though he NEVER supported the girl financially all those years. And that was because he was very, very poor, unschooled but probably better educated than many of our graduates today.

To give a few background, he single handedly guided the girl through the process of gaining admission to university after about three years of waiting. He also helped the girl develop self-confidence which eventually helped her to become a VP at her campus fellowship among other leadership roles.

Now the girl has graduated from the university, but her family opposed her intention to marry this pastor which ultimately contributed to their breakup late last year before her graduation proper.

Now an important point to remember is that this girl was a virgin when the pastor started dating her eight years ago, and according to what I heard, she's still a virgin up till now as a graduate about to go for her youth service.

Now the twist is that this pastor met another girl online early this year who lives in another state quite far from where the pastor is based but that's okay. But what's scary is that this second lady is a complete opposite of the first girl both in good and bad sides.

- She's a single mother with a three month old baby. (Though She's a graduate too about to go for service.) But the first girl is still a virgin.

- The first lady is a complex and classy type but the second lady is simple and almost-naive house wife material, according to what the pastor told me.

-The pastor has known the first girl and her family for years but he has not even met this second girl face to face.

- The first girl doesn't talk much and would rather bottle-up her emotion than let it show freely, which kind of drives the pastor nuts most times. But the second girl is said to be very, very expressive both vocally and emotionally.

Now the oddity is that the pastor has not only proposed marriage VIRTUALLY to this second lady but had actually fixed a wedding date and made lots of profound promises to her WITHOUT seeing her face to face.

Now I must also point out that the pastor's background is strikingly similar to this new girl's background based on what he told me. And I think that's where the stronghold is, even though he may not want to hear that.

Now the twist again is that the first girl WANTS THE PASTOR BACK as in right now. And the pastor is currently having a squabble with the new girl because somehow the girl wants him to accept her little son as his own son in a way the pastor thinks is kind of too demanding. The pastor told me in confidence that accepting another man's son as his first son is a big chunk to swallow but he wouldn't mind giving it a try if not that the girl is kind of making it appear like it's a condition for marrying her.

The reason I'm asking for your advice is that this pastor feels confident to move on with this second girl which I think is not a smart idea, but he's the pastor here.

What I want to do is to get a thread of unbiased advice and then try to get him to read it up.

Please let the wisdom juice of brilliant advice begin to flow now.

__________________________________
Thank you so much for participating.

NOTE: For those who are picking on the pastor, let me make few things categorically clear to you.

1) The pastor is NOT asking for your advice. For goodness sake READ the story and COMPREHEND it before commenting.

2) The second girl was in DEPRESSION when the pastor met her (because her supposed fiancé dumped her on the day of their traditional marriage). The pastor inspired her to come out of depression and get closer to God which she did. And she actually joined a major Pentecostal church in her state AND EVEN GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, as the pastor told me. It was after all these events that the pastor made his intention for marriage known.

3) The first girl wants to get back with the pastor and has called severally.

4) I posted this here to help the pastor see the matter from an unreligious but still REASONABLE perspective.

5) I'm pretty sure that Nairaland still has a bunch of intelligent people who are ABLE TO READ the story, UNDERSTAND it AND RESPOND to it in the proper context without insulting anyone.

tell the pastor to forget about the Internet girl or his life will soon be over because the child's father is locking around in the dark like the eyes of the devil looking for who to prey on for his failure. Let him go back to his creation the first girl she will marry him she just doesn't know yet, by the way what is keeping the pastor from fucking her for a period of 8yrs? He must be incomplete

Such a confusion is 'unchristianly' and unbiblical ,especially for a personality he claims.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear(confusion) ; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Fake pastor, can't u pray for God direction.

D pastor is a certified clown

Im not perfect o but this is what I can say in my own little way ''let the pastor follow his heart and the leading of the Spirit''

Since the girl wants him, it means she can convince the parent. I see no reason why he (pastor) shld settle for someone that just delievered. The question is ''the 2nd lady in question'' how did she get pregnant? Has he found out? What if he (pastor) go ahead and find out that she is not the type of person he actually want, will he consider divorce as option as a man of God?
Im sure he knows the spiritual state of the 1st girl, does he know the spiritual state of the second? He should think twice because it may cost him heaven as well. He should remember also that ''unbalance home will reap unbalanced children''

The Bible says ''the husbandman shall be the first partaker of the fruit'' he has laboured spiritually and its the greatest investment in the life of any human being. Therefore, he must reap the fruit BUT prayerfully.

greggng:
I need at advice o. I ve a girl friend who gave birth to a baby for me 2 years ago. Innitially I denied the pregnancy cos of an incident that happened before she told me she was pregnant. She refused to leave the baby with my family. I ve been under serious pressure by my family and friends to reconcile with her and I invited her for a chat. However I noticed something strange with her mode of dressing. She now wears chain on her waist and angle. With strange make up like the way whores do just yesterday she visited me with the baby and spend 4hours with me. I noticed the same appearance with more rings on all her fingers. I told her why she now dress up like that but her response was it was just a fashion. Right now I don't feel like marrying her anymore cos I suspect she might be doing ashawo work. My worry now is how to get the baby frm her so that he will not get negatively influenced. I need advice pls

u denied the baby then, and now coming back to claim him??

Also u want the baby now, and still rejecting the mother....


Guy u are a very wicked man!!!
U dont deserve that baby

...

oyin17:
Both the op and the pastor need Jesus in their lives. what a pastor!

I dnt tink uu re ok , so d pastor won't marry abi , I tink u need to sprinkle urself anointin water. Ur mentality is smelling

Aren't they meant to wait for the lord's guidance?

OP you want a wise answer but placed this in NL kids section??

But on a serious note, he is a pastor; I can't advice him better than the holy spirit... He should listen to Him...

Plus I don't agree in accepting a child that isn't his when the real father is alive.... He should not be roped into a lie, then the mother will lie to the child that he is the father and then years later the truth comes out.... He will be the pastor who lied, the woman should realize the child has a father and should realize that the father will one day come back to her child's life.... The pastor can take care of the child as his but that is not his first child...

And about the virgin girlfriend, what is her offer now?

He should man up and had better be prepared to take the child as his if he really loves her. Its not too much to ask. Its the equivalent of adopting a child but even better as he loves the mother.

I'd be wary of the woman he met online and most people can agree that its quite easy to be different online and talk about emotions because he's not there to read your body language. Also its easy to type about feelings you don't actually feel because their just words. Harder to form these when the person is next to you. Last on this girl, if i had a 3-month old, i'd be desperate to get married and would say things you want to hear because you cant see me rolling my eyes or sighing in frustration. If he wants, her, he should take it slowly and know her better first IN PERSON. Also watch 2 episodes of MTVs Catfish The Show

As for the virgin girl, he doesn't seem convinced that she can take him to the heights a woman should be able to take her husband to or be that humble person he would need as a pastor. I hate to judge but if i'm right, he shouldn't marry her. He's going to be married a long time so you have to be with someone who can race right along with you. Let him sort out his emotions for this girl and forgive her and himself for all the time and money spent. I don't believe anything is wasted. God can use anybody

Why does it have to be one or the other? If any of them was truly right for him, he wouldn't need to ask these questions

I will advice him to go for




1year prayer and fasting.... Marathone to seek the face of God for his bone of the bone. Among the two... By then, he will be 37 n his brin will be fully functioning.

I dnt knw the denomination of dat pastor bt 4 christ sake he should nt involve himsef in such 4 d sake of his ministry. Cos pple go think say na his baby ,if he is a widower it will be acceptAble.

greggng:
I need at advice o. I ve a girl friend who gave birth to a baby for me 2 years ago. Innitially I denied the pregnancy cos of an incident that happened before she told me she was pregnant. She refused to leave the baby with my family. I ve been under serious pressure by my family and friends to reconcile with her and I invited her for a chat. However I noticed something strange with her mode of dressing. She now wears chain on her waist and angle. With strange make up like the way whores do just yesterday she visited me with the baby and spend 4hours with me. I noticed the same appearance with more rings on all her fingers. I told her why she now dress up like that but her response was it was just a fashion. Right now I don't feel like marrying her anymore cos I suspect she might be doing ashawo work. My worry now is how to get the baby frm her so that he will not get negatively influenced. I need advice pls

Dude, i know you think you're right but you have some growing to do with her. You want to take the baby after denying her when she needed the support. Forget it. You should have been there to eat some humble pie along with her. Find a way to be a father to your child without living with her. Ask for him to spend some weekends with your fam or with you so you'll have some responsibility. Stop thinking about marriage and concentrate on your child. Ask someone with a kid that age to tell you how much to send per month. Don't just send gifts, go out of your way to buy things for both of them personally. I'll advise mainly foodstuff and diapers. Everytime you've met her, you have judged her based on appearance and clearly found her wanting. You need to start over. Treat her like someone you just met who is going through a rough patch in life. Try to understand her, always listen to her. If you can't be with the person she truly is, don't marry her. You don't owe her marriage unless you forced her or you already promised to marry her. You're a man, deal with the pressure from your family and stand your ground regardless of what it is. No one will come and live your life for you

If an unbeliever go to d pastor for counseling because he (unbeliever) proposed n fixed a marriage date on someone he met online, what will the pastor say to the unbeliever??

This pastor of urs need healing, ....Did he know the reason why the 1st man dump the lady? He would have been a nice pastor if he advised the lady without proposing, he's now planning for wedding without seeing her face to face, what if the lady has one leg? ...he will dump her like the 1st guy did.
For me, it's advisable for him to accept the conditions of the 2nd lady and go ahead with the marriage, since nobody pushed him to her, .....except he never test a virgin before cos he too much emphasise virgin virgin

stardragon:

u denied the baby then, and now coming back to claim him??

Also u want the baby now, and still rejecting the mother....


Guy u are a very wicked man!!!
U dont deserve that baby

U re entittled to ur opinion. Remenber I told you something happened before she presented the issue of her pregnancy. I didn't wanna say it but it becomes necessary now. I left her in my house for my nysc. One day I receive a call by my landlord threatening me with a notice to pack out and I asked wat happened and he simply replied that my girl friend has been gosiping him around the estate. I laughed over it. So went I got to lagos I asked her and she denied any knowledge. May I remind u that in the night I asked her for sex and she told me she is on her period . She knew I don't make luv to her anytime she is on her period. The next day I left . Two weeks later she told me she wants to confess something that happened btw her and the landlord. She told me that the landlord sent for her and when she got into his office he crabed her from behind. That in the struggle she got him wounded cos one of his legs was amputed cos of diabetes. He was rushed to the hospital. My anger with her was that this incident happened two months before she was able to tell me. She said the landlord son begged her never to tell me cos I might be mad over the issue. A month after this she told me she was pregnant. I am not wicked I trained her from secondary to higher institution but when a family meeting was called to settle the matter her family fought me and everyone that went with me warned me never to ve such people as inlaws. If you re in my shoes u will do worst. Don't judge me yet

it's amusing u seek advice for a pastor on Nairaland... can't he just pray bout it abi God's answer wont b good enuf?!!

Pls y doesn't he just seek God's leading instead of trying to solve it all by himself. d investment in d first girl means nothing mch; they might b destined 2 b jst friends

Pastor should get to know the internet girl in the real world

The reasons you have given as to why pastor wants to marry the first are well not inspiring- she is a virgin, he has known her for eight years, she wants him back in her life. Does he want her because she is convenient or because he genuinely enjoys her person?

Pastor should Stop acting so desperate remember the place of being still and prayers

[color=#006600][/color] The pastor should allow his emotin drive him. Let him feel that he pay back the first gal for break-up at 1st. Let him not be a victim sympathy. Let him not be driven by ego. Let ask baba God with open and free mind who he should marry- the first, the second or another - that will assist him in his ministry. Wait a minute what is a pastor doing on date site. Depression! It can lead to do undo. I commend him for devirgining the virgin during the days of mentoring and mentoring. Luzzzzzz!

The composer of this write up should be confused

Pastor's Love : Latest Nollywood movie. Staring Kanayo o. Kanayo as pastor and patience Ozokwo as virgin girl..... Enjoy... #9ja4Life

anathemiamia:


Dude, i know you think you're right but you have some growing to do with her. You want to take the baby after denying her when she needed the support. Forget it. You should have been there to eat some humble pie along with her. Find a way to be a father to your child without living with her. Ask for him to spend some weekends with your fam or with you so you'll have some responsibility. Stop thinking about marriage and concentrate on your child. Ask someone with a kid that age to tell you how much to send per month. Don't just send gifts, go out of your way to buy things for both of them personally. I'll advise mainly foodstuff and diapers. Everytime you've met her, you have judged her based on appearance and clearly found her wanting. You need to start over. Treat her like someone you just met who is going through a rough patch in life. Try to understand her, always listen to her. If you can't be with the person she truly is, don't marry her. You don't owe her marriage unless you forced her or you already promised to marry her. You're a man, deal with the pressure from your family and stand your ground regardless of what it is. No one will come and live your life for you

I really appreciate ur coment. U talk like someone that knows my story

Iamvictor:
Pastor's Love : Latest Nollywood movie. Staring Kanayo o. Kanayo as pastor and patience Ozokwo as virgin girl..... Enjoy... #9ja4Life

Tonto should be the virgin girl

paschu:
_________________________WARNING_________________________

Please this is not a joke. It's happening right now as we speak. So only thoughtful and ACTIONABLE responses are to be given. Please if you're not pretty sure that your advice is super good it would DEFINITELY be better to ONLY scroll through this thread, and just read and enjoy without talking. Thanks in advance for cooperating.

___________________NOW THE SITUATION___________________

A 36 years old pastor had been dating a young girl since the past eight years. He met this girl in her late teens and was actually very instrumental in shaping the young lady's moral perception and persona - though he NEVER supported the girl financially all those years. And that was because he was very, very poor, unschooled but probably better educated than many of our graduates today.

To give a few background, he single handedly guided the girl through the process of gaining admission to university after about three years of waiting. He also helped the girl develop self-confidence which eventually helped her to become a VP at her campus fellowship among other leadership roles.

Now the girl has graduated from the university, but her family opposed her intention to marry this pastor which ultimately contributed to their breakup late last year before her graduation proper.

Now an important point to remember is that this girl was a virgin when the pastor started dating her eight years ago, and according to what I heard, she's still a virgin up till now as a graduate about to go for her youth service.

Now the twist is that this pastor met another girl online early this year who lives in another state quite far from where the pastor is based but that's okay. But what's scary is that this second lady is a complete opposite of the first girl both in good and bad sides.

- She's a single mother with a three month old baby. (Though She's a graduate too about to go for service.) But the first girl is still a virgin.

- The first lady is a complex and classy type but the second lady is simple and almost-naive house wife material, according to what the pastor told me.

-The pastor has known the first girl and her family for years but he has not even met this second girl face to face.

- The first girl doesn't talk much and would rather bottle-up her emotion than let it show freely, which kind of drives the pastor nuts most times. But the second girl is said to be very, very expressive both vocally and emotionally.

Now the oddity is that the pastor has not only proposed marriage VIRTUALLY to this second lady but had actually fixed a wedding date and made lots of profound promises to her WITHOUT seeing her face to face.

Now I must also point out that the pastor's background is strikingly similar to this new girl's background based on what he told me. And I think that's where the stronghold is, even though he may not want to hear that.

Now the twist again is that the first girl WANTS THE PASTOR BACK as in right now. And the pastor is currently having a squabble with the new girl because somehow the girl wants him to accept her little son as his own son in a way the pastor thinks is kind of too demanding. The pastor told me in confidence that accepting another man's son as his first son is a big chunk to swallow but he wouldn't mind giving it a try if not that the girl is kind of making it appear like it's a condition for marrying her.

The reason I'm asking for your advice is that this pastor feels confident to move on with this second girl which I think is not a smart idea, but he's the pastor here.

What I want to do is to get a thread of unbiased advice and then try to get him to read it up.

Please let the wisdom juice of brilliant advice begin to flow now.

__________________________________
Thank you so much for participating.

NOTE: For those who are picking on the pastor, let me make few things categorically clear to you.

1) The pastor is NOT asking for your advice. For goodness sake READ the story and COMPREHEND it before commenting.

2) The second girl was in DEPRESSION when the pastor met her (because her supposed fiancé dumped her on the day of their traditional marriage). The pastor inspired her to come out of depression and get closer to God which she did. And she actually joined a major Pentecostal church in her state AND EVEN GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, as the pastor told me. It was after all these events that the pastor made his intention for marriage known.

3) The first girl wants to get back with the pastor and has called severally.

4) I posted this here to help the pastor see the matter from an unreligious but still REASONABLE perspective.

5) I'm pretty sure that Nairaland still has a bunch of intelligent people who are ABLE TO READ the story, UNDERSTAND it AND RESPOND to it in the proper context without insulting anyone.

sorry I had to quote your epistle.

1. As regards the 1st lady, she might be a virgin. She might want him back, they might have been together for a long time, but the ultimate questions are about her personality and family.
Does our pastor think she has got the will to go against her parents? It takes more than her wanting to marry your friend. She might be calling him back out of loneliness, but remember she would be going to service, and would meet a plethora of people, situations And temptations. Do you think she would still stick to our pastor when richer, graduates propose to her as her parents are gainst the marriage and our pastor is unschooled?, I think not. Ladies like that are rare, and far in between.

2. The fact she is a virgin is a good. But its not a sure predicator of how marriage to her might turn out. Neither is the fact that she was an exco on campus anything serious to go by, especially as you stated that she's classy, maybe flamboyant, and hides her emotion from her supposed love, which expectedly drives him nuts. Would he want to deal with that for a lifetime? I personally won't.

3. The second lady might be as naive as your friend pointed, because very few ladies get pregnant out of wedlock and keep it despite the various methods of evacuation available. Her acceptance by our pastor has more to do with his personality than hers. Can he afford adopting another's child as his 1st? Can he cope with the divided attention of this new mother? Is he ready to take that child as his without unfair discrimination? There's also a possibility that he's just a rebound but that shouldn't scare him so much. I have a hunch she would be indebted to him and try to show her gratitude by giving him her all, as opposed to the 1st lady.

4. This isn't directly related to what's happening, but does your friendwork and earn? Can he cater for an extra or 2 extra mouths or is he as poor as former? It determines to a large extent how things might turn out, if he's not making any decent income, the 1st lady might just be about using him AS A seat filler because on few graduate ladies would marry a poor man who is unschooled for that matter . Besides , I don't subscribe to jobless pastors.

5. Finally, if he were my brother, I would ask him to consider a totally different lady from both, but if he is bent on either one, he has to answer affirmatively to questions I asked as regards both ladies before I can give an advice.however, The second lady is IMO a lesser risk to a peaceful marriage than the fresh, virgin graduate, who i doubt would want to marry against her family's wish, and to a pastor who might not be earning much. Ladies like that are rare, if she is, if he can answer affirmative to my questions about her,then she's a gem. Give me her number,lol.

i tink pastor went for d online gal because he is emotionaly stressd, d babymamai tink is usin pastor as remedial drug n lukin for responsble man to carter for ha son, their rltnshp is kindq out of pity n may nt last. If d oda gal is crious she shld be consdered, i guess pastor shld give sum tym b4 goingon on his marriage plan. If he is stil a pqstor let him pray

chaloner:
I dnt tink uu re ok , so d pastor won't marry abi , I tink u need to sprinkle urself anointin water. Ur mentality is smelling

You need Jesus like never before! are you ready to give your life to him? He is standing at the door of your heart, open your heart for him to come in. tomorrow may be too late. are you ready?

Why should a pastor be interested in internet dating to the extent of proposing marriage to a lady he does not know. He really needs salvation and should stop calling himself pastor. How do u leave reality for unreality? Did he feel discourage because of family opposition to his earlier fiancee? It means he is not a man. So her expected the lady's parents to give him automatic acceptance. Life does not operate in that order always .