...are you sure she is not the second girl op is talking about??

greggng:
I need at advice o. I ve a girl friend who gave birth to a baby for me 2 years ago. Innitially I denied the pregnancy cos of an incident that happened before she told me she was pregnant. She refused to leave the baby with my family. I ve been under serious pressure by my family and friends to reconcile with her and I invited her for a chat. However I noticed something strange with her mode of dressing. She now wears chain on her waist and angle. With strange make up like the way whores do just yesterday she visited me with the baby and spend 4hours with me. I noticed the same appearance with more rings on all her fingers. I told her why she now dress up like that but her response was it was just a fashion. Right now I don't feel like marrying her anymore cos I suspect she might be doing ashawo work. My worry now is how to get the baby frm her so that he will not get negatively influenced. I need advice pls

oyin17:






Hahaha,,,,2dice no kee me with laugh, like one wey dey near my house, from fridge repairer to pastor

I couldn't help but laff when I saw ur comment....

spanzed:
I couldn't help but laff when I saw ur comment....

Hahaha,,, the thing tire me

Pastor, did u not pray about it, before u started teleguiding ur virgin girl?

what did ur Holy Spirit tell u when u brought a single mother into the mix?

Bros, take a step back and reevaluate ur values.

greggng:
I need at advice o. I ve a girl friend who gave birth to a baby for me 2 years ago. Innitially I denied the pregnancy cos of an incident that happened before she told me she was pregnant. She refused to leave the baby with my family. I ve been under serious pressure by my family and friends to reconcile with her and I invited her for a chat. However I noticed something strange with her mode of dressing. She now wears chain on her waist and angle. With strange make up like the way whores do just yesterday she visited me with the baby and spend 4hours with me. I noticed the same appearance with more rings on all her fingers. I told her why she now dress up like that but her response was it was just a fashion. Right now I don't feel like marrying her anymore cos I suspect she might be doing ashawo work. My worry now is how to get the baby frm her so that he will not get negatively influenced. I need advice pls

When you slept with her, she was a good girl abi? But yet, you denied being responsible for her pregnancy. Now that you've seen the after math of the situation you put her in, you are condemning her. You need counseling because your wickedness and hypocrisy knows no bounds. The only reason why you want to have the child back is because your folks are pressuring you to do it. But you are not responsible enough to be a good father. Have you even thought of contacting the girl's parents for a start Mchteeew!!!

make d pastor go for d first gurl abeg . Imagine a whole pastor believing an online dating.

Hmmm in this case, the pastor should forget the two ladies and move on its as simple as that afterall ministers of God are called to the holy order, serve God and God alone

Irregardless of whatever investment pastor has made in either woman or sentiments as they may be it is all better for him to seek the face of God as He know the end of the union from the beginning. Virgin/Baby mama can be Go's choice or none of the above. Above all it is pastor's life to live and thus his decision. If he is a man of God this issue shoulc not be alien to God in his dealings. Let him pray and heed to the decision.

Op u said the pastor does not need an advise, so what the Heck is this post doing here,

As for the pastor doing online runs smh He is such a mo.ron, he is so daft to hv fallen for a nursing mother,
Dumbass pastor

#Lolzzz.... I can't stop laughing, is ds suppose to b a prob for d Pastor? where is d place of prayer? Funny story, it wud've bn better if u didn't mention Pastor in ds write up of urz.

oyin17:



Hahaha,,, the thing tire me

probably he was called my mami water...

both have advantages and disadvantages, nevertheless the choice is yours

kpolli:
OP you want a wise answer but placed this in NL kids section??

But on a serious note, he is a pastor; I can't advice him better than the holy spirit... He should listen to Him...

Plus I don't agree in accepting a child that isn't his when the real father is alive.... He should not be roped into a lie, then the mother will lie to the child that he is the father and then years later the truth comes out.... He will be the pastor who lied, the woman should realize the child has a father and should realize that the father will one day come back to her child's life.... The pastor can take care of the child as his but that is not his first child...

And about the virgin girlfriend, what is her offer now?

Thank you @Kpolli

I really appreciate your MATURE views. Please on a side note I'd be glad to know the best section to move this topic to. I actually posted here thinking that I was following the rules of the forum not knowing that the section is infested with children.

Anyways as I said in the story the first girl wants to get back with the pastor right now with marriage in view however the pastor is leaning towards the second girl and wasn't giving the first girl enough audience.

Secondly, (I presumed that ALL the COMMENTATORS would infer this from the story but it seems most were too immature to even understand the premise) the pastor is convinced to move on with the second girl WHICH AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH.

He did not ask me to seek for advice anywhere for him. I'm only doing this to get his attention and hopefully make him have a rethink before it's too late, yes even though it is at the risk of loosing his friendship if he eventually find my little post here unacceptable.

I've not even told him about this post yet. I'm waiting for the accumulation of REASONABLE and ACTIONABLE advice but unfortunately the NL kids seem to be beclouding those with their empty rants.

But thanks again for your gem

OP, this forum is not the best place to get answer if your friend is really a pastor.

paschu:
_________________________WARNING_________________________

Please this is not a joke. It's happening right now as we speak. So only thoughtful and ACTIONABLE responses are to be given. Please if you're not pretty sure that your advice is super good it would DEFINITELY be better to ONLY scroll through this thread, and just read and enjoy without talking. Thanks in advance for cooperating.

___________________NOW THE SITUATION___________________

A 36 years old pastor had been dating a young girl since the past eight years. He met this girl in her late teens and was actually very instrumental in shaping the young lady's moral perception and persona - though he NEVER supported the girl financially all those years. And that was because he was very, very poor, unschooled but probably better educated than many of our graduates today.

To give a few background, he single handedly guided the girl through the process of gaining admission to university after about three years of waiting. He also helped the girl develop self-confidence which eventually helped her to become a VP at her campus fellowship among other leadership roles.

Now the girl has graduated from the university, but her family opposed her intention to marry this pastor which ultimately contributed to their breakup late last year before her graduation proper.

Now an important point to remember is that this girl was a virgin when the pastor started dating her eight years ago, and according to what I heard, she's still a virgin up till now as a graduate about to go for her youth service.

Now the twist is that this pastor met another girl online early this year who lives in another state quite far from where the pastor is based but that's okay. But what's scary is that this second lady is a complete opposite of the first girl both in good and bad sides.

- She's a single mother with a three month old baby. (Though She's a graduate too about to go for service.) But the first girl is still a virgin.

- The first lady is a complex and classy type but the second lady is simple and almost-naive house wife material, according to what the pastor told me.

-The pastor has known the first girl and her family for years but he has not even met this second girl face to face.

- The first girl doesn't talk much and would rather bottle-up her emotion than let it show freely, which kind of drives the pastor nuts most times. But the second girl is said to be very, very expressive both vocally and emotionally.

Now the oddity is that the pastor has not only proposed marriage VIRTUALLY to this second lady but had actually fixed a wedding date and made lots of profound promises to her WITHOUT seeing her face to face.

Now I must also point out that the pastor's background is strikingly similar to this new girl's background based on what he told me. And I think that's where the stronghold is, even though he may not want to hear that.

Now the twist again is that the first girl WANTS THE PASTOR BACK as in right now. And the pastor is currently having a squabble with the new girl because somehow the girl wants him to accept her little son as his own son in a way the pastor thinks is kind of too demanding. The pastor told me in confidence that accepting another man's son as his first son is a big chunk to swallow but he wouldn't mind giving it a try if not that the girl is kind of making it appear like it's a condition for marrying her.

The reason I'm asking for your advice is that this pastor feels confident to move on with this second girl which I think is not a smart idea, but he's the pastor here.

What I want to do is to get a thread of unbiased advice and then try to get him to read it up.

Please let the wisdom juice of brilliant advice begin to flow now.

__________________________________
Thank you so much for participating.

NOTE: For those who are picking on the pastor, let me make few things categorically clear to you.

1) The pastor is NOT asking for your advice. For goodness sake READ the story and COMPREHEND it before commenting.

2) The second girl was in DEPRESSION when the pastor met her (because her supposed fiancé dumped her on the day of their traditional marriage). The pastor inspired her to come out of depression and get closer to God which she did. And she actually joined a major Pentecostal church in her state AND EVEN GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, as the pastor told me. It was after all these events that the pastor made his intention for marriage known.

3) The first girl wants to get back with the pastor and has called severally.

4) I posted this here to help the pastor see the matter from an unreligious but still REASONABLE perspective.

Thr
5) I'm pretty sure that Nairaland still has a bunch of intelligent people who are ABLE TO READ the story, UNDERSTAND it AND RESPOND to it in the proper contexts without insulting anyone.

Let the pastor ask angel Gabriel or angel jelili. If both of them are not around as I was informed that they are travelling to Sambisa to negociate with boko-haram to let go of our chibok girls he can ask angel luku or memudu. And if he can not ask let him die silent.

story to d gods, no fe my dongoyaro first comment later

tchidi:


Dude, exactly wetin I wan type!!

Am waiting for ur wedding invitation oooooooo

Let the so called pastor first of all give his life to christ for real because its obvious he's one confused person. I wonder what a man in his 30's will be doing with an 18 abi 19yr old girl who isn't mature enough yet to have marriage on her mind when she has her education to pursue (as at then). I say this because he is now in his mid 30's and hasn't even made up his mind yet whether because he is a vampire that loves to see virgin blood or he doesn't want to pay school fees on another man's child after proposing to the mother on line.

my observation is that
1. the pastor is either physically challenged.
2. emotionally disabled
3.does not have confidence in himself as a man
or
4.is under a spell
if not, he would not give up easily on the first girl and would definitely not price himself so low as to propose and even plan a wedding to/with a lady whom he has never met in real life and who also has a child already. that combo is serious!
my advice is for him to accept back the first lady and marry her, in the event that the first lady does a u turn again and leaves him, let him find a real woman in real life (with or without a baby already-it may not matter-but at least he should not be online fiance or fiancee) and try to build a relationship that will lead to marriage.

He should go for the second lady... Reasons Loading....

paschu:


Thank you @Kpolli

I really appreciate your MATURE views. Please on a side note I'd be glad to know the best section to move this topic to. I actually posted here thinking that I was following the rules of the forum not knowing that the section is infested with children.

Anyways as I said in the story the first girl wants to get back with the pastor right now with marriage in view however the pastor is leaning towards the second girl and wasn't giving the first girl enough audience.

Secondly, (I presumed that ALL the COMMENTATORS would infer this from the story but it seems most were too immature to even understand the premise) the pastor is convinced to move on with the second girl WHICH AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH.

He did not ask me to seek for advice anywhere for him. I'm only doing this to get his attention and hopefully make him have a rethink before it's too late, yes even though it is at the risk of loosing his friendship if he eventually find my little post here unacceptable.

I've not even told him about this post yet. I'm waiting for the accumulation of REASONABLE and ACTIONABLE advice but unfortunately the NL kids seem to be beclouding those with their empty rants.

But thanks again for your gem

If he thinks he can handle the 2nd lady then he should go ahead but let him remember he is throwing away 8 years of hard work.... As a pastor his wife is meant to be active in church; is he sure he can make number 2 active? This is a woman he hasn't met that might end up being a prankster in the end

terible i only commented bcus of d warning terible pastor u dnt even kn wat u want

greggng:




U re entittled to ur opinion. Remenber I told you something happened before she presented the issue of her pregnancy. I didn't wanna say it but it becomes necessary now. I left her in my house for my nysc. One day I receive a call by my landlord threatening me with a notice to pack out and I asked wat happened and he simply replied that my girl friend has been gosiping him around the estate. I laughed over it. So went I got to lagos I asked her and she denied any knowledge. May I remind u that in the night I asked her for sex and she told me she is on her period . She knew I don't make luv to her anytime she is on her period. The next day I left . Two weeks later she told me she wants to confess something that happened btw her and the landlord. She told me that the landlord sent for her and when she got into his office he crabed her from behind. That in the struggle she got him wounded cos one of his legs was amputed cos of diabetes. He was rushed to the hospital. My anger with her was that this incident happened two months before she was able to tell me. She said the landlord son begged her never to tell me cos I might be mad over the issue. A month after this she told me she was pregnant. I am not wicked I trained her from secondary to higher institution but when a family meeting was called to settle the matter her family fought me and everyone that went with me warned me never to ve such people as inlaws. If you re in my shoes u will do worst. Don't judge me yet

ok.

What u'll do now is for u to get more closer to her. Try findin out what she does for a living and from their u can dertemine whether u can change her to a good girl u've known before "remember no body is perfect"







lastly, let she lead u to her family menbers by herself for u people to determine the fate of the child.

Blackett:
The pastor, I said, is a fool.

i too like you...plain & simple.

which kain pastor be dat?

shebi dey said pastor dey see vision for who to marry....so what happened to this pastor,is he visionless?

Craps! Only an idiot will venture to compare a virgin lady with an after-one mum. It's like death and sleep. Whatever fucking e-wedding plan this so called pastor has for this wayward after-one mum,he had better changed his mind before he regretted it.

Well though its not a sin to marry a single mother but with this situation on ground if the pastor is rally strong in faith he should know that even Jesus Christ was tempted so this could be a temptation. To me he should NOT consider the second girl a WIFE at all as she had already had her own husband. I understand that you said the second girl's guy ran at the point of marriage but remember that he can still come back to accept the baby and may want to right the wrongs by telling her "I will marry you now," what will the pastor do then? Let the pastor advise the second girl to wait and pray as there is nothing prayer can't do.My opinion: He should accept the first girl back without delay as what happened earlier is normal in marriages parents disagree to agree after due consultations "prayers and .... so wise step is to grab her wife the FIRST GIRL.

I now understand your situation bro...take the kid and leave her alone. If something happened and it took her abt 2weeks to tell you means she gave her consent. (you understand what i mean)

greggng:




U re entittled to ur opinion. Remenber I told you something happened before she presented the issue of her pregnancy. I didn't wanna say it but it becomes necessary now. I left her in my house for my nysc. One day I receive a call by my landlord threatening me with a notice to pack out and I asked wat happened and he simply replied that my girl friend has been gosiping him around the estate. I laughed over it. So went I got to lagos I asked her and she denied any knowledge. May I remind u that in the night I asked her for sex and she told me she is on her period . She knew I don't make luv to her anytime she is on her period. The next day I left . Two weeks later she told me she wants to confess something that happened btw her and the landlord. She told me that the landlord sent for her and when she got into his office he crabed her from behind. That in the struggle she got him wounded cos one of his legs was amputed cos of diabetes. He was rushed to the hospital. My anger with her was that this incident happened two months before she was able to tell me. She said the landlord son begged her never to tell me cos I might be mad over the issue. A month after this she told me she was pregnant. I am not wicked I trained her from secondary to higher institution but when a family meeting was called to settle the matter her family fought me and everyone that went with me warned me never to ve such people as inlaws. If you re in my shoes u will do worst. Don't judge me yet

Midehi:
i too like you...plain & simple.

single mother should never be trusted, she's full with baggage already . which kinda pastor is this tho