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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. (20216 Views)
I Feel My Father -in -law Is Trying To Control Me / I Am Beginning To Hate My Mother!!! / My Father's Advice To Me When I Was Searching For A Wife... (2) (3) (4)
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My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by marque: 12:17pm On May 20, 2015 |
I don't understand what is going on in my house. Any little thing that happens between my mum and Dad she will call us (the children) and start telling us what happened but always putting the blame on my Father. She has never explained anything and made it look like it was her fault. She is trying to paint a bad picture of our father in our eyes. This has been going on right from when I was little but as I grew older I began to see things in a different light. Anytime my mum brings up an issue concerning she and my Dad I try to look at things differently and see things in the other way before concluding. If I tell her what I feel and it's not in line with what she said,she'll get angry with me. The latest was the one that happened recently. My mum was planning to go to her home town to see her family and so she needed some money from my dad to add to what she had already so she could buy some food stuff on her way. It is good to note that my mum had already travelled Last year during the Christmas celebration to see her people and my Dad gave her the money for everything she bought. My mum works and gets paid too but she didn't use any of her money to buy those things last year. My Dad footed the bills. Now she wanted to travel again this year and My Dad refused to let her go because we just moved into our new house and there are some things which have to be bought and fixed in the house. My Dad told her that if she wants to go it's her choice but he wouldn't give her any money as he has got some other pressing needs at the moment. My mum got angry about this and she told us. I saw things from my father's point of view and tried to explain to her why it happened so but she got angry. She said I must always support him and that i'm not acting like "a son she gave birth to" She has not talked to my Dad since then and anytime I greet her,she ignores me. I have two sisters,an elder and a younger one and i'm the only boy. My sister is at the ripe age of getting married but she is also supporting my mother in this,sadly. My father doesn't seem to be bothered much though as he still goes about his normal activity but this problem is really troubling my mind and I really wish there could be an end to it. Do mothers have to unnecessarily incite children against their fathers? Is that why grown up children tend to cater for their mothers more and forgetting the struggle of their fathers even while they are still alive? Matured advise please. 68 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by fromnigeria(m): 12:31pm On May 20, 2015 |
Tell her point blank what she is doing is worng and make it clear to her that she will not succeed. 18 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by mkpakanaodogwu(m): 12:38pm On May 20, 2015 |
Wao,men de suffer 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by sunnydayasaba(m): 12:41pm On May 20, 2015 |
Sorry u find urself in such situation, i will advice u invite ur mum out to maybe a nice restaurant for a drink and chat if u can afford it just to make her look special and try to find out d circumstances surrounding most of such decisions, it could be a past feeling of hurt or she never loved your father even though there married, such things happens. Try to make her talk and after let her know the consequences of her actions to the family, her decision doesn't only affect ur dad both the whole family, imagine ur sisters getting married and treating their husband in same manner, they might be send packing if such man cant tolerate like ur dad. Even your dads health is at risk here, he's not talking doesn't mean he's happy or less bothered. So man up and take charge to fix things now that you still can. Above all, Ask God for wisdom so u can use the right words when addressing dis issues. Gud luck 64 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by raumdeuter: 2:17pm On May 20, 2015 |
Manipulation and blackmail has always been the weapon of some women 52 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by SAMBARRY: 2:37pm On May 20, 2015 |
Hahahahah she's putting you on a guilt trip don't fall for it ![]() I do that a lot for my baby brother to have my way when he's proving I'm a man bull sh ![]() if she wants to start again invite your dad to into the matter and settle it amicably. You will see she will stop bad mouthing your dad ![]() ![]() ![]() but if you have the money you can give her though. I see your dad is right ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by marque: 5:49pm On May 20, 2015 |
fromnigeria:I've tried my best to explain to her the best way I can. She's my mother and I can't be rude to her. 12 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by marque: 5:51pm On May 20, 2015 |
sunnydayasaba:Thanks so much for this. I never really thought of some of the things you said. Thank you. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by marque: 5:52pm On May 20, 2015 |
raumdeuter:It's just sad bro |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by pickabeau1: 5:52pm On May 20, 2015 |
wat exactly is your issue marque 2 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by marque: 5:56pm On May 20, 2015 |
SAMBARRY:I've actually thought of telling my Dad about it but I felt it may make the problem bigger than it is. I don't want them to be acting like enemies in the house. Am still a student and so I don't really have anything to contribute. My mum helps me with pocket money sometimes but I don't think she will even give me anything this time around and am to resume school soon. 2 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by marque: 5:59pm On May 20, 2015 |
pickabeau1:The way my mum bad mouths my dad in our presence just to make us have resentment for him is troubling. So I came here to share the problem and see if I can probably put an end to it. 15 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by 2el(m): 6:03pm On May 20, 2015 |
tell your mum and dad to reconcile 1 Like |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by SAMBARRY: 6:09pm On May 20, 2015 |
In that case go and apologize to your mom and be supporting whatever she says so you can continue having pocket money. When you graduate and get a job then you can call her to order .For now you don't have the financial security to do that. So if she says your father is stoopeed you will say it's true. If she says he's mad you say exactly. Just be doing yes for everything she says for the while marque: 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by pickabeau1: 6:10pm On May 20, 2015 |
marque: The simple end is to tell her respectfully that you don't want to be dragged in between them They are your parents and they should solve their marital problems themselves When next she comes after this, tell her you have an engagement and leave the space 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by jayne8585yahoo(f): 6:41pm On May 20, 2015 |
OP I feel your predicament, I have to be frank with you your mummy and daddy did not start today, your dad must have mistreatmented her while you guys were still young and so she wants to take her own pound of flesh. women are resilience in nature, may be for her to stay married she was taking your fathers flaws then, now she thinks that it's her own time to shine. As I speak to you now, some women are in that situation, they are waiting for their children to grow so as to start acting OR she never loved your dad as someone has said earlier MIND YOU ALL THIS ARE GUESS WORK. SOLUTIONS Take your time, ask her if she wants to destroy her family, Ask her to forgive your dad Detail to how you feel about the issue. I WISH GOOD LUCK, DON'T JOIN HAND WITH YOUR DAD, SEEK PEACE. AS YOU DO THAT I PRAY GOD TO BLESS YOU. AMEN 20 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by Jman06(m): 8:26pm On May 20, 2015 |
Woe unto men! ![]() This is exactly what happens in most Nigerian homes. Mothers always turning children against their dads. ![]() Op, I must commend you for being sensible enough to respond to your mum the way you did. Please don't ever let your mum turn you against your dad. The repercussions are always disastrous! Keep being wise, boy! 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by ahnie: 8:39pm On May 20, 2015 |
![]() 17 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by Nobody: 8:39pm On May 20, 2015 |
Some mothers are just like that. It's like they are frustrated or angry about somethings and use that as a medium to belittle dad's in front of their kids. This is more reason why kids love their mothers more especially if they dnt reason in line with their daddy. What I advice you do is turn deaf hears to her and make her understand that she can't turn you against your daddy, by the time she sees you are not interested in her talk she will cease talking to you about your dad. 4 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by SAMBARRY: 8:56pm On May 20, 2015 |
pickabeau1:! Abcdef I've deleted it. Never mind ![]() |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by fromnigeria(m): 9:20pm On May 20, 2015 |
Alright, just talk to God about it. He is the last resort. marque: |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by Arsenate(m): 10:23pm On May 20, 2015 |
I'm growing to realize that mothers are not as "innocent" as I earlier thought and fathers are not always monster as most will have us believe. actually, fathers are they real unsung heroes. 53 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by olu4life(m): 11:47pm On May 20, 2015 |
SAMBARRY:Lwkmd!!! Seriously ![]() ![]() OP go along with pickabeau post 1 Like |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by marque: 4:46am On May 28, 2015 |
Lalasticlala can u put diz on home page please? 1 Like |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by 5minsmadness: 8:30am On May 28, 2015 |
Cc lalasticlala For varied and some more matured advice. |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by dinachi(m): 8:59am On May 28, 2015 |
Op I think pickabeau advice is spot on! I am glad you are seeing through her chicanery. Most sons are easily deceived by their mothers but your Dad is lucky to have a son like you. If she calls you go to her meetings but at the end your contribution should always be that she should settle her issues with your Dad as she did not seek your consent before marrying him! Be gentle with her though and laugh off her fears. Also tell her that it is better to seek marital advice from older couples and maybe your church pastor that her kids. Tell her jokingly, which advice can you being kids give to her who is your mother. In all be closer to your Dad. That man might have a heavy burden on his chest and without consolation may collapse one day. 13 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by perry2020(f): 9:23am On May 28, 2015 |
dinachi:I support this 5 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by Gepheral: 11:34am On May 28, 2015 |
Strange |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by publicenemy(m): 11:34am On May 28, 2015 |
I don't think your mother is trying to turn you against your father...I think she is someone who finds it difficult to accept responsibility or take the blame for situations...I think its just her charecter.so don't indict your mother, it may not even be her fault but just how she was raised. As for her actions when ever something happens at home,as a woman she feels the urge to let it out and talk to somebody and she is responsible enuff not to take it out of the house to friends and her parents and brothers so she involves you the children. And as the only son,its very good you can think rationaly and independently,so I advise that you talk to your mum.make her know that her actions could causing division in the house,she is likely gonna be stubborn and disagree with you,but you would have done the needfull,so whenever she goes on about how bad ur father is you also try disagreeing whit her in presence of ur sisters and always make ur sisters see the truth in every issue she brings up. 11 Likes |
Re: My Mother Is Trying To Turn Me Against My Father. by Nobody: 11:34am On May 28, 2015 |
Fathers do this too...I know a man who got married to a woman because he got her pregnant, he didn't want any of them. While growing up, he turned the child's mind against the mother calling her a slut and he's only trying to help them. Things went on till the child discovered the truth...tables changed and he ain't talking to the father no more. He and his mother moved out. She remarried and the father is trying to get to his son now. 7 Likes |
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