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Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? - Romance - Nairaland

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Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by drazenn(m): 8:33am On May 23, 2015
Hello guys, this is my second account, after reading you will understand why am hiding my identity.
Majority might agree that living in a different state with your spouse due to work is unhealthy but one won't just quit a job with the hardship in Nigeria at the moment.
This is not about me, its about my father. He is a good man, my family has never lacked, we are living fine, I thank God but something is going on that is disturbing. I was with my mother and siblings in abuja but after I graduated and got a job through my dad, I relocated to lagos to join him.
We live in his flat together. We got 4 flat mates.
There is this small girl who should be in her mid 20s. He sleeps with her, her mum knows cos I go tru my dads fon and see messages, he calls her mum, buys her stuffs etc.
I became an obstacle to their dirty game because he use to bring her to d house b4 I came to lag so this tym he had to hide it from me, at 1st he started a prank on me, he would say 6 of his friends were coming from london, he would fake a call in my presence,then he would tell me to please sleep in his friends house close to us. After like 2hours wen I had gone, he will drive down der nd call me to come out, that his friends decided to lodge in a hotel. He did this 3 times, then he suspected I might get that and changed pattern.
This time, he would take me out to water side at ikoyi close to tinubu's house for those who know lagos, our house is around ikoyi too. He would get me a very big fish that would tek me hours to consume and drinks but I don't tek alcohol so he would tell me to consume what ever I want, he would fake a call again and say "sir? Ok, am coming to get the money, where do I meet you? Ok in 30mins tym I will b der" then he would wait for a few minutes and pick up his key and say his coming, I never knew this new tactic till d fon rang on his ears one day but I pretended to b engrossed with d match I was watching.
Our nebour is a young business dude that comes into the country briefly and goes back so he doesn't subscribe for dstv but join me in my room to watch with me. He became an obstacle so my dad tells him to join us and watch match at water side while he drinks cos d guy luvs drinking. As usual he faked a call, wen he left, the guy laughed and said this your papa na guy man, na house him de go now to go chop kpekus.
I was ashamed but we laughed over it.
To cut this story short, I was around obalende some days back, I saw her at d mini market, I parked and folowd her. I knew her face cos I see it on her whatsapp dp on his fon. I traced her house.
Now I get to engaged at work that I bcom tired wen am bak and he usually wants us to go to water side around 9pm and its around 11 we head home, now that I know his tactics, I refuse going out. He unnecesarily gets upset with me.
He usually support me fueling ma car but now I must ask 1st. Its annoying me and I am thinking of throwing words at him concerning the games. My nebours might think am supporting my dad cos I go out with him and he comes bak with a gal while am away den few hours later, I return with him wen shez gone. Nooo I can't give that impression.
I haven't told my mum either but its anooying me.
Staying away from your spouse is just not ok.
.
What's the best course of action?
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by mkpakanaodogwu(m): 8:56am On May 23, 2015
Your mum should be visiting often
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by joebeckz(m): 8:58am On May 23, 2015
mehn, never follow him even if he reacts,almost all men are unfaithful but he should do it away from home. I don't have the patience to see that gal and let her go,u try sha. I wonder if such girls marry and complain to God bout cheating spouse if they eventually settle down.
since your dad provides for your family,live with d idea that men are cheats d better for you
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by drazenn(m): 9:07am On May 23, 2015
mkpakanaodogwu:
Your mum should be visiting often
She does but when she is gone. He continues.
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by drazenn(m): 9:08am On May 23, 2015
joebeckz:
mehn, never follow him even if he reacts,almost all men are unfaithful but he should do it away from home. I don't have the patience to see that gal and let her go,u try sha. I wonder if such girls marry and complain to God bout cheating spouse if they eventually settle down.
since your dad provides for your family,live with d idea that men are cheats d better for you
Hmmm, should I let my mum know?
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by mkpakanaodogwu(m): 9:10am On May 23, 2015
drazenn:

She does but when she is gone. He continues.
talk to him honestly,he is a man,later in life u will understand.
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by joebeckz(m): 9:18am On May 23, 2015
drazenn:

Hmmm, should I let my mum know?
i agree with d post below. talk to him and mind your words. go to d water side with him,when he pretends to b on call and drops d call. pick up d fon and scroll to d call log. show him DAT der was no call in or out at that time then start the talk. goodluck

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Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by drazenn(m): 9:29am On May 23, 2015
mkpakanaodogwu:
talk to him honestly,he is a man,later in life u will understand.
Oak I will try. Thank you sir
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by drazenn(m): 9:30am On May 23, 2015
joebeckz:

i agree with d post below. talk to him and mind your words. go to d water side with him,when he pretends to b on call and drops d call. pick up d fon and scroll to d call log. show him DAT der was no call in or out at that time then start the talk. goodluck
Hmmm. Do I have such guts? Picking his phone and showing him his lies.
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by joebeckz(m): 9:41am On May 23, 2015
drazenn:

Hmmm. Do I have such guts? Picking his phone and showing him his lies.
do it your way politely
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by mkpakanaodogwu(m): 9:51am On May 23, 2015
drazenn:
Oak I will try. Thank you sir
uwc
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by MsBliss(f): 11:10am On May 23, 2015
Choi your dad is a real guyman o.

Well I suggest u don't tell ur mom instead settle the case with ur dad telling him you know all his tactics so he should change.

Telling your mom might stir up problems such as divorce and lack of trust.
As for me sha cheating is something that I CNT tolerate from a partner .I better not find out o else.if you are doing,do it in a way that I won't notice .

Am usually not insecure cos I put trust first in any relationship I enter but if that trust is broken,its usually hard to fix that's if I give you another chance to fix it.
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by oluwadamilolah(f): 11:21am On May 23, 2015
Talk to your dad about it, let him know how you feel and don't bother to tell your mum please, so that she wouldn't be disturbed.
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by Nobody: 2:06pm On May 23, 2015
Op if what you wrote is true, then am sorry for you. Your own father is sowing wild oats to the detriment of his family and u are privileged to find out. What do you do, you act like a fool cause of the small crumbs from your father's table. You better wake up and deal with this situation as a man you are.
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by 400billionman: 2:40pm On May 23, 2015
Too bad..
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by 400billionman: 2:43pm On May 23, 2015
MsBliss:
Choi your dad is a real guyman o.

Well I suggest u don't tell ur mom instead settle the case with ur dad telling him you know all his tactics so he should change.

Telling your mom might stir up problems such as divorce and lack of trust.
As for me sha cheating is something that I CNT tolerate from a partner .I better not find out o else.if you are doing,do it in a way that I won't notice .

Am usually not insecure cos I put trust first in any relationship I enter but if that trust is broken,its usually hard to fix that's if I give you another chance to fix it.


Who cares ?
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by joebeckz(m): 3:26pm On May 23, 2015
MsBliss:
Choi your dad is a real guyman o.

Well I suggest u don't tell ur mom instead settle the case with ur dad telling him you know all his tactics so he should change.

Telling your mom might stir up problems such as divorce and lack of trust.
As for me sha cheating is something that I CNT tolerate from a partner .I better not find out o else.if you are doing,do it in a way that I won't notice .

Am usually not insecure cos I put trust first in any relationship I enter but if that trust is broken,its usually hard to fix that's if I give you another chance to fix it.

lol. d guy man thing got me laughing
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by drazenn(m): 3:30pm On May 23, 2015
intbizoil:
Op if what you wrote is true, then am sorry for you. Your own father is sowing wild oats to the detriment of his family and u are privileged to find out. What do you do, you act like a fool cause of the small crumbs from your father's table. You better wake up and deal with this situation as a man you are.
I will handle it ,thank you
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by nikkiehan(f): 3:42pm On May 23, 2015
as others have been saying talk to ur dad one on one n let him realize u r aware of wats goin on, advice him to stop but kip it as a secret neva tell ur mum cos if u do it can disorganize every thing
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by drazenn(m): 4:05pm On May 23, 2015
nikkiehan:
as others have been saying talk to ur dad one on one n let him realize u r aware of wats goin on, advice him to stop but kip it as a secret neva tell ur mum cos if u do it can disorganize every thing
Ok dear. Been thinking of how to start. I will try. Thanks
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by MsBliss(f): 6:57pm On May 23, 2015
joebeckz:
lol. d guy man thing got me laughing
Lol
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by MsBliss(f): 7:19pm On May 23, 2015
400billionman:

Who cares ?
NFCS does bro

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Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by pretydiva(f): 7:20pm On May 23, 2015
Talk 2 ur dad man 2 man. Stil don't understand y men cheat on their spouse these days
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by virginchaser(m): 9:11pm On May 23, 2015
I passed through that face of life. If you tell your mum, he will hate you for a while and if your mum gets to know she will equally hate you for a while too. Your best option is to call the hoe, tell her to stay away from your dad. She will definitely tell your dad. You can then engage your old man that it is done out of love and you apologize. Case close. shocked

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Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by deeboiii: 9:26pm On May 23, 2015
Lol. Try to talk to him. For no reason must you tell your mum.
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by drazenn(m): 12:19pm On May 24, 2015
pretydiva:
Talk 2 ur dad man 2 man. Stil don't understand y men cheat on their spouse these days
Asin eh. E tire me, and his wife (my mum) is still goodlooking and curvy o.
Wat pains me is d gal in question is not fine. Wicked K legged bitch with big eyes.
Me as a young man, dat gal won't move a thing in me.
I wonder if coke has different taste, if NO then same as a woman, u don't taste differently, though some pple myt argue dat coke wen served chill is better. His wife could equally do same. Das y its marriage, u talk to improve. D idea staying apart is just not it. Though men still cheat even if de live togeda wt der spouse.
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by drazenn(m): 12:21pm On May 24, 2015
virginchaser:
I passed through that face of life. If you tell your mum, he will hate you for a while and if your mum gets to know she will equally hate you for a while too. Your best option is to call the hoe, tell her to stay away from your dad. She will definitely tell your dad. You can then engage your old man that it is done out of love and you apologize. Case close. shocked
At d end, did it stop? Or u stopped giving a shit bout it after d talk?
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by saasala(m): 12:23pm On May 24, 2015
Na this kind thing dey make FP, make I book space ...I will be right back
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by drazenn(m): 12:32pm On May 24, 2015
saasala:
Na this kind thing dey make FP, make I book space ...I will be right back
hahah dis is not a plot for sale. Search anoda thread
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by ayokellany: 12:33pm On May 24, 2015
drazenn:

Asin eh. E tire me, and his wife (my mum) is still goodlooking and curvy o.
Wat pains me is d gal in question is not fine. Wicked K legged bitch with big eyes.
Me as a young man, dat gal won't move a thing in me.
I wonder if coke has different taste, if NO then same as a woman, u don't taste differently, though some pple myt argue dat coke wen served chill is better. His wife could equally do same. Das y its marriage, u talk to improve. D idea staying apart is just not it. Though men still cheat even if de live togeda wt der spouse.

Lol... Do you know the difference btw the body of a woman that as given birth and one that as never given birth ? Am sure you won't make such comparism in beauty/body if you do.
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by drazenn(m): 12:49pm On May 24, 2015
ayokellany:


Lol... Do you know the difference btw the body of a woman that as given birth and one that as never given birth ? Am sure you won't make such comparism in beauty/body if you do.
Bro, a fine woman is a fine woman, dis gal is not good looking, I know d tissues in d body got difrence but d man himself is wrinkled so y not accept fate and stick to your woman? Or will he apreciate her looking for a smooth bodied dude too?
Re: Living In Different States With Your Spouse. My Experience, What Do I Do? by holusormi(m): 12:50pm On May 24, 2015
Leave the man alone na .... Can't a man just play a little 'away' game again ? Stop being a player hater abeg... Let the man enjoy those 'little' pleasures life has to offer and pls go get Yosef a gf and get Yosef busy with her... Don't tell ur mum, he will stop it with time

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