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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? (3066 Views)
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How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 10:37pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
1. They look at you like you are from mars Right when you start putting the moves on your significant other, he or she stares at you like earthworms with wings are flying out of your ears. If they look at you like you're from outer space, you're doing something wrong. Very wrong. 2. You put it in the wrong hole "Oops! Sorry, honey. Let me try that again." If you have sex like an inexperienced nurse who constantly misses the vein, you need to do a little more research before you have sex again. 3. They laugh in your face Has your partner ever burst out laughing while you were trying to pleasure them? You're probably an atrocious mess in bed. You're not the lead in an R-rated comedy! Lovemaking shouldn't be that hilarious. 4. You model your moves after animals You've spent far too much time watching nature documentaries, and somehow you got the idea that you could learn how to have sex by watching animals get it on. Doing it doggy style is one thing, but your partner doesn't want to have sex with a wild hyena. 5. They compare you to a rag dull Has your lover ever said that having sex with you is like being intimate with a limp rag doll? Sounds like you've got some real problems. Quit lying there like a corpse! Participate! 6. They check their fone While you're pounding away, your partner grabs his or her phone and starts scrolling through Facebook. Honey, if you can't hold their attention as much as the internet, you must be terrible at this! 7. They keep moving theri hands You're starting to get hot and heavy, but almost every time you try to touch a part of their body, they move your hand somewhere else. You obviously don't know what to do with your hands. HINT: that's not a good thing. 8. You play ABBA to get in d mood What kind of music do you like to listen to before or during sex? If it's something like ABBA, just give up right now. There's no way that you're good in bed if listening to "Mamma Mia" gets you feeling randy in your nethers. 9. They fall asleep while you re going at it You swear that your partner was fully awake and into it when you started having sex, but now they're totally snoozing. Yikes! You must be the most boring bedmate of all time. Figure out some new moves, stat! 10. They look at their watch "What time is it? No, I'm not bored, I swear! I just have somewhere I need to be. How long have we been doing this? It feels like a long time. This has been great, but I need to get going..." 11. They masturbate when you re done Leaving your partner hanging is not cool. So if you're really bad in bed, they'll probably take care of their own business after you run out of steam. And if they ask you to leave the room while they do it, you're really pathetic. 12. You tink sex is overrated You finally lost your virginity, and you've even had sex a few more times since then. But you just don't get what all the fuss is about. It's not that great! Why is it such a big deal? Because it is a big deal. You're doing it wrong. 13. They push you out of bed If they push you away and ask you what the heck you're trying to do down there, it's not because they want to learn your technique. When your lover pushes you out of bed for doing something weird, you can be sure that it wasn't weird in a good way. 14. They sleep with you once and never call again If someone completely blows you off after they've slept with you once, there are two possible reasons: 1) They're a player. 2) You're downright awful in bed, and they don't even want to consider letting that happen again. 15. You finish before it starts You're finally getting the chance to nail the guy or girl of your dreams. You take them back to your place, you hop into the sack, and... oh. You're done already. Build up some stamina, or you're going to be bad in bed for the rest of your life. Is that really what you want? www.chacha.com/gallery/5734/how-can-you-tell-if-you-re-bad-in-bed/54775 Cc: lalasticlala ishilove Farano rocktation |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by MEGGATRON(m): 10:40pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by alberto2k(m): 10:45pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
If They Lay lifelessly like a Statue while u're doing it. . . Bro you're BADWORST in bed |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by francizy(m): 10:58pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
Mood matters too. You may be having sex at their bad time and therefore they lay down like log of wood and you feel you didn't try only for the next one to always wanna come get it down with you.. |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by AlienStar: 11:00pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
I don't hv 2 read that crap, its damn too long. |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 11:01pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
francizy:Sure Buh wif wetin Buhari dhe do so, I no go get mood at all Midolian, if I post thread for hellfire, I know say u go spy lol 1 Like |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by midolian(m): 11:05pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
OREMUSSANCTUS: You are not serious.. Post anything for hellfire, na only u go view am I swear |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 11:06pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
midolian:Lol Abeg I no wan laff |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 11:08pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
I do that number 3 a lot. 1 Like |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 11:10pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
softysparky:U go wicked for real life |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by youngberry001(m): 11:13pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
AlienStar:no no miss is not a crap it a dammed fact 'oya get back nd read it again |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 11:15pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
AlienStar:And tomorrow, u go come family section dhe find babyosisi to save ur marriage, now I bring somtin to help ur relationship u dhe form Better read it, cos soon u will look for me to thank me |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 11:16pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
youngberry001:U see how people dhe miss out? |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 11:16pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
OREMUSSANCTUS:Yeah 1 Like |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 11:21pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
softysparky:Be like say u like bad tinz Anyways Stop dat habit D guy go dhe feel bad Even if u no feel pain, fake am make u boost him ego Midolian(no homo) pls help her out |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Cutehector(m): 11:21pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
I can't be a whoosy in bed.. I'm a champion |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 11:24pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
Cutehector:Enu ose No be mouth No come here dhe form durella |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by RapLawd(m): 11:26pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
OP so after all this your name, you're not a celibate Any make you come support your own the of nkpocha na nzacha of onye ga Mazi Nairaland 2015 |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Cutehector(m): 11:27pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
OREMUSSANCTUS:oya donate ur sister make I prove to u I"m d man |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by RapLawd(m): 11:29pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by tartar9(m): 11:31pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
lmao aspiring priest/failed politician ODEMOO… is this your new calling.abeg go back to religion section parisbookaddict/Ifeann needs backup. udatso tola9ja 9jaforlife … 1 Like |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by midolian(m): 11:34pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
softysparky:hmmm..U do it a lot? How many of them hav u done dat to?.. *suspicious* |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by RapLawd(m): 11:34pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
tartar9: I see your pain right from afar.... Keep of for ur own good... allah won't support you viewing thread of immorality created by a non believer (kafirs )... |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by francizy(m): 11:34pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
OREMUSSANCTUS: Hehehehe, Bubu is the new minister of tourism.. |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 11:51pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
tartar9:Who released dis depressed soul from hell? Tartar9 nids help https://www.nairaland.com/2154501/drug-anxiety |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 1:59am On Jun 15, 2015 |
midolian:I have lost count. 1 Like |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by AlienStar: 8:24am On Jun 15, 2015 |
OREMUSSANCTUS:wow!! But No Thanks. |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by AlienStar: 8:25am On Jun 15, 2015 |
youngberry001:na by force? |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by naijaboiy: 8:46am On Jun 15, 2015 |
i've done number 14 quite a number of times. For either of the reasons. |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by naijaboiy: 8:47am On Jun 15, 2015 |
softysparky:Not good |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 8:49am On Jun 15, 2015 |
AlienStar:U no dhe hear word |
Re: How Can You Tell If You Re Bad In Bed? by Nobody: 9:51am On Jun 15, 2015 |
naijaboiy:Lol, why? 1 Like |
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