I am married for two year nw with a baby girl, though marriages ave up and down but the one am going through ryt nw,that makes my body aches is the house chores, I do virtually al the work with no help, starting from sweeping the verandah, to the mopping the sitting room,kitchen, and the passage, to clearing the dishes,fetching water and serious u nid to see our well it's rily so deep,i fills the kitchen and toilet with water, wash the toilet, cook den take care of the baby while my husband sit al tru pressing his fone. Av discussed this with him several tyms but no change. I dnt no wot else to do as this is killing me. I alwaz wonder if he love me cos I dnt no ow u ll claim to love ur wife but stil watch her go through stress without you helping ha.....pls advice

Hmmm, He most likely doesn't see your point and doesn't think house chores are or should be anything you can't handle....
Find someone who can understand how you feel and whom he respects.......
That is if you have exhausted all avenues of explaining to him and making him see reason

I didn't see anything wrong in this. You're performing your marital duties. Doing house chores doesn't make your body aches, you're just lazy.

did u marry him or he did ? Don't u see how women re willing to marry no matter what?

If a man does not help his wife in household activities that does not mean he doesn't love her. All you need is a house help especially now that you have a child. Provided there is room to accommodate the house help. Talk to your man on getting one please.

How can someone call dis a marital duty, it's crazy when u take ur wife as a slave , I'm proud of what I do o assist my wife.. I wash tour cloth sometimes and even make food when she asleep, taking care o my daughter is not left out.. It's crazy when men can't assist their wives and u feel like a head or champion, I think that ur husband needs to be jailed for such, how can u watch ur wife do all that alone and yet u will want to make love with her... Stop looking out for househelp and at the end dey kidnap ur pikin God forbid , talk to ur husband ...women should flee from such men, such men are the men u will see outside with their girlfriends carrying the handbags for dem even without the girl asking for assistant , Chaii chaii God dey o

Haba .........
You really have no idea

Nazeeboy:
I didn't see anything wrong in this. You're performing your marital duties. Doing house chores doesn't make your body aches, you're just lazy.

Nazeeboy:
I didn't see anything wrong in this. You're performing your marital duties. Doing house chores doesn't make your body aches, you're just lazy.

i wish I can convert you to a woman and see what it's like being held with all the house chores, comeon be ready for changing different woman in ur house

indiraserv:
Haba .........
You really have no idea

I do

crystalgem:
I am married for two year nw with a baby girl, though marriages ave up and down but the one am going through ryt nw,that makes my body aches is the house chores, I do virtually al the work with no help, starting from sweeping the verandah, to the mopping the sitting room,kitchen, and the passage, to clearing the dishes,fetching water and serious u nid to see our well it's rily so deep,i fills the kitchen and toilet with water, wash the toilet, cook den take care of the baby while my husband sit al tru pressing his fone. Av discussed this with him several tyms but no change. I dnt no wot else to do as this is killing me. I alwaz wonder if he love me cos I dnt no ow u ll claim to love ur wife but stil watch her go through stress without you helping ha.....pls advice

madam I can't say if he loves u or not but u can't keep doing all dis and expect a long life , it's kills slowly pls talk to him abt ur health and pls never raise the issue of househelp cos such men will be the one to impregnate the househelp if she's a girl, I wonder if that man will allow u down a day outside sef to go through what u go through at home, talk to him and make him see it and when it child grows enough to support u

Our great great great grand parents were not lazy, they clean, sweep the community, go to farm, work all day, creat time to go to the market and sell their farm produce, give brith to plenty children, wean them properly and even when they die, they still work as Ancestors, drinking blood of chickens, answering prayers and watching over the community.

What da Heck! This wife has no reason to complain. The husband is working his arse up, he's getting heavily tired though when he get home. The wife- a full time house wife complaining of doing her own work. I guess she wants to sleep all day while the husband come back and do household chores and probably cook for her. Pressing his phone is his relaxing mode.lolz


I think this is laziness redefined( my point of view). If wife can't cope with household chores, get househelp. Don't bother the man with your own work, he has his. If he choose to help, fine. Otherwise face your work o! Except if the wife is a full time housewife and the husband is a full time house husband.


This has no connection with love. It will even frustrate the husband and kill the love. You both need to sit and discuss this and ask him for his own opinion and reasons

adeekiti:
i wish I can convert you to a woman and see what it's like being held with all the house chores, comeon be ready for changing different woman in ur house

instead of thinking ur husband should help u, u request for a house girl. Shikenan!

Nazeeboy:
instead of thinking ur husband should help u, u request for a house girl. Shikenan!

bro I know pple like u , after u dey ready for househelp wey get big yansh make u dey nack pple like u women dey jaZz pass I swear cos u leave ur primary duty as a support in ur home

@op, why cant you employ an house help or just contunue to endure till your children start doing some stuffs for you and themselves.

This issue of your beyond what anyone not even your close relatives can solve. Your husband must have exibited those traits before you chosed him as a life partner. Since he doesnt listen to your plead, i will advise you to employ an house help or just continue your God's giving talent.

adeekiti:
i wish I can convert you to a woman and see what it's like being held with all the house chores, comeon be ready for changing different woman in ur house

Are you a feminist or a kid? You don't have the full details, your suggestion should be open ended not a closed conclusion.

What if all she said happens when the husband comes back from an hectic work? What if she's a full time housewife?

adeekiti:
bro I know pple like u , after u dey ready for househelp wey get big yansh make u dey nack pple like u women dey jaZz pass I swear cos u leave ur primary duty as a support in ur home

Now, this is really a childish rant!

Nazeeboy:
I didn't see anything wrong in this. You're performing your marital duties. Doing house chores doesn't make your body aches, you're just lazy.

that was extremely narrow minded and insensitive. Women were not born with a 'housechore gene', she has as every right to press phone as the man. If he cannot or would not help her, he should support her in hiring a maid, simple.

Nazeeboy:
I didn't see anything wrong in this. You're performing your marital duties. Doing house chores doesn't make your body aches, you're just lazy.

keep quiet, every one isn't built the same way, what do you mean by lazy? Mtshewwwww.

Op you need a help, you can get a relative (a small girl) to live with you so she can assist. Just leave your husband to be fooling himself.

By the way u said he presses his phone all day, does he not work?

adeekiti:
bro I know pple like u , after u dey ready for househelp wey get big yansh make u dey nack pple like u women dey jaZz pass I swear cos u leave ur primary duty as a support in ur home

chaiii u wicked ooo. No be so I dey sha

bestestgirl:
that was extremely narrow minded and insensitive. Women were not born with a 'housechore gene', she has as every right to press phone as the man. If he cannot or would not help her, he should support her in hiring a maid, simple.

see hate ooo just for saying the truth. Now who's insensitive: one that says d truth or one that dislikes d truth

Insist on getting a house help or probably a relation to help around the house if your hubby won't help. Please don't look at him like he's evil or wicked, most men were raised with the mindset that house chores are women's work and wouldn't want to "debase" themselves by getting involved in it. This is Africa, and the African man's mentality. Please just get help and don't expect him to stop pressing his phone and take over cleaning from you anytime you complain o feeling pains.

firstEVA:
keep quiet, every one isn't built the same way, what do you mean by lazy? Mtshewwwww.

I pity ur life when you get married

Nazeeboy:
I pity ur life when you get married

I pity the unfortunate woman that ends up with you.

gbl01:


Now, this is really a childish rant!

how many woman don run comot for ur house before? Ogini wicked men like u dey wash woman pant under spell

gbl01:


Are you a feminist or a kid? You don't have the full details, your suggestion should be open ended not a closed conclusion.

What if all she said happens when the husband comes back from an hectic work? What if she's a full time housewife?

from their words you shall know them

Nazeeboy:
see hate ooo just for saying the truth. Now who's insensitive: one that says d truth or one that dislikes d truth

My dearest brother, I have absolutely no hate for you, none whatsoever!! neither your post nor my post is the "truth" (only the OP and her husband knows the true situation of things), we are just stating our different opinions, with absolutely no hate on my part.

am certain u dated him before marriage

u knew he is not the type that help with domestic work yet u married him

BTW there ain't no big deal in doing those chores as a woman

& from ur post he washes his cloths himself

u cook, clean the house, fetch water & bath ur child

so what's the big deal there

bestestgirl:
My dearest brother, I have absolutely no hate for you, none whatsoever!! neither your post nor my post is the "truth" (only the OP and her husband knows the true situation of things), we are just stating our different opinions, with absolutely no hate on my part.

good to know

gbl01:


Are you a feminist or a kid? You don't have the full details, your suggestion should be open ended not a closed conclusion.

What if all she said happens when the husband comes back from an hectic work? What if she's a full time housewife?

i wonder if pple like u sef go like una pikin talkless of taking care of them heediot

If your body aches from house chores with just one kid then obviously you are not in good condition. That is probably because you are not used to hard work or doing any form of sports.
I assume that you are still young so this should not be a problem for you. If you love your husband you would do these chores happily to please him and build your home, your kids would be happy and learn from you.
Women do so much more for their families and still keep a full time job. That is why mothers are indeed supreme and worthy of respect. This is the same here and everywhere in the world.
Getting a househelp is an option but is she not a human being too? She also knows what body pain is?
If you want your husband to help you then you need to know how to ask for help and mostly how to show appreciation for the help. When you want something specific plead with him to help you. -"Darling please can you help me fetch two buckets of water, my waist is paining me?" When he does it show appreciation and joy. Most men would help even if they do it reluctantly.
Those women that get help from their men know how they got their men to help them.
You haven`t learnt how to ask.
Also it is not for you to question your husband`s use of his phone. Would you rather have him going out and leaving you alone in the house. You ought to be happy that he is at home with you.
Just train your kid`s well and in a few years the work will reduce for you.

Nazeeboy:
I pity ur life when you get married

u are just a spoilt brat, I wonder what u do when u visit ur parent's house and u see them do chores and I'm pretty sure u watch them , mehn I pity u , be ready to be jazzed when u marry.. Hope ur parents will be strong enough to handle ur situations when it strikes