takin d child to daycare is nt a good idea. If she must work, let her bring in her younger sis to care 4 d child while she go to wrk or beta still let her go for a teaching job. Dats d best job for a nursing moda dou d pay might nt b dat ok but she will have tym for d child nd earn sumtym at d end of d month. she will b allow to go wit d child.

I have the same problem too some years back,my wife was working somewhere at ikeja and we stay at somewhere close to sango ota, there is nothing we can do than for her to resign and look for teaching job of which we find one close to our house, in the morning two of them go together in the morning and come back together. If your wife is an educated person I will suggest you try something like that for too because living a four month old baby under the care of Nanny is not too good. Best of luck.

Burger01:
Yes. Leave the baby in the care of a good nanny while your wife goes to work. Except if you are ready to take full resposibility of the needs of the house.

Just get a nanny and allow wife to go to work

A very wise advice,to me 4 months old baby is not too young,please allow her go to work

gbengus26:
I have the same problem too some years back,my wife was working somewhere at ikeja and we stay at somewhere close to sango ota, there is nothing we can do than for her to resign and look for teaching job of which we find one close to our house, in the morning two of them go together in the morning and come back together. If your wife is an educated person I will suggest you try something like that for too because living a four month old baby under the care of Nanny is not too good. Best of luck.

What if the wife is a doctor?

Burger01:
Yes. Leave the baby in the care of a good nanny while your wife goes to work. Except if you are ready to take full resposibility of the needs of the house.

Just get a nanny and allow wife to go to work

The Orekoyas Incident and OXL saga comes to mind.. @op wtch dis guy well.

yongnoble:
My advice: NO! Let her nurse your child till he is one and she can begin her job search. The God that blessed her with this offer, would provide her with something bigger when your child turns one.
After all being a wife/nursing mother is a job itself.

Only one year? How about she nurses him till he's 10 before starting the job search?
I'm pretty sure you're not married... we should learn to be realistic in our expectations.

Your mom or her mom should help with the child while she works.

If she loes this job now, will you get her another one? And how about when the family needs keeps increasing and the money you make keeps decreasing in value because of inflation, won't you start grumbling and snapping at her for wanting to buy this or that when she doesn't make any money?

olawoyintolani:
A 4 month old child needs the mother's love, care and attention. If she refuses to take care of the child properly then she wants her child to grow up and be something bad. Her primary assignment is her child. God has been providing for your needs since when you got married,till she was pregnant, so God won't forsake you...To hell with the job if it will deprive her child of her attention....
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www.beneficialhowtodoit..com

That's rubbish abeg. My mum was a working mother too, so naturally she had a nanny look after us when working. I have 3 siblings and all 4 of us couldn't have turned out any better. Is she abandoning the baby?

Mtchew

Emmahunk:
I think you have more than the problem of the child's welfare in your hands.
For starters, you have no firm grip of your family.
Hear yourself, 'my wife suddenly came back day before yesterday and said she wentffor a job interview'. For crying out loud, what right does she have to go job hunting without you two first discussing it as a family?
Poverty does not mean inability to run your home. It's amazing that in this age of 'baby friendly', a woman with honest intentions will be comfortable abandoning a four months old baby for a job you were not aware of. Obviously, she couldn't wait to put to birth.
Call your wife to order first and other things can follow

MOORCHMOORE:
I am a low income earner, with a wife, son (3 months +), nephew then 1 inlaw today another tomorrow.
My wife suddenly came home day before yesterday with the news she went Job interview.
The next day, she was ask to start work on next Monday.

Dilemma!
With what am passing through, I desire my wife to work so that we can meetup with some bills.

Our problem is we have a Son that is heading 4th month, her employers can't accept her with our baby.
She went to day cares around and was told they only admit a year plus. I tried to discourage her, knowing what our son is going to pass through. But she accused me of not being supportive.

Please I need professionals here.
This is one place I always get answers and support

She should reject the job if her would-be employers are not ready to accept her and her baby. I thought you were not being serious as the headline suggests and I wanted to blast you up that maternity leave is 3 months for a working woman, until I read your story.
Money is not everything abeg.

Our society is destroyed because our family lives and values are destroyed.

Our family lives and values are destroyed because parents no longer train their children.

Parents no longer train their children because both parents are busy.

In my world, for all the monies in this world, four years old kid need to rest its head on her mother's breast.
May be I am old school any way.

Cheers to all.

What happens to exclusive breastfeeding. Mothers of this days can't even breastfeed for 6 months exclusively. Depriving their kids their rights.

Women sacrificing exclusive breastfeeding and maternal & child bonding for job?. Discuss.

Emmahunk:
I think you have more than the problem of the child's welfare in your hands.
For starters, you have no firm grip of your family.
Hear yourself, 'my wife suddenly came back day before yesterday and said she wentffor a job interview'. For crying out loud, what right does she have to go job hunting without you two first discussing it as a family?
Poverty does not mean inability to run your home. It's amazing that in this age of 'baby friendly', a woman with honest intentions will be comfortable abandoning a four months old baby for a job you were not aware of. Obviously, she couldn't wait to put to birth.
Call your wife to order first and other things can follow

What is this one saying? Mr 'I must comment'. Mstchewww

4 months old is too young. It is a no for me.

Children are expensive!

Get your mum or her mum or sister to take care of the baby. Your wife needs an income or else she will turn your life I to a living hell!

It's tough but it has to be done.

Unless you can foot the bills

My dear, pls allow your wife to start the job immediately if the salary is good cos u are not financially okay. Moreover d son is 3 or 4. old . we have many working class lady's. If my office we have them, during their pregnancy period they are working . they go for their maternity leave 3 to 4 , after that they resumed their duty back. Look for ur younger family person to assist or a good house girl.
Working class people will understand better,

Pls if u can set up a business for her fine. If not pls pls allow her to start the job if the salary is good. But not because of peanut salary.
If after one year she got a job & pregnant again will u ask her to stop d job to look after d baby.
If financial rich better but it is d opposite wit responsibity

noblezone:
Our society is destroyed because our family lives and values are destroyed.

Our family lives and values are destroyed because parents no longer train their children.

Parents no longer train their children because both parents are busy.

In my world, for all the monies in this world, four years old kid need to rest its head on her mother's breast.
May be I am old school any way.

Cheers to all.

That is all very good in theory but the so called values you talk about date back to a time when all people aspired to was a full stomach. There are over 100 million people in Nigeria. How does one feed a family these days with one man's income.

Even in the so called "values" period a woman did not stop going to the farm because she was a nursing mother indefinitely they still had communal support of family. These days we live in towns and families spend a lot of money educating male and female children. The idea that a woman should stop working and stay at home to breast feed is funny. Even 40 years ago this was not the case. We had teachers who got pregnant had babies ,took maternity leave and returned to work Most of my teachers were female and many had babies.

Let us examine a typical Nigerian family ; Husband rides okada and wife is cleaner,Husband is a teacher wife is a teacher,Husband is Civil servant and wife is same . In most cases they need the income of both. Those Nigerians who can survive on just the husband's income are rare. This is 2015 and the reality of urban life is women work.When people are getting married they need to PLAN ahead for babies and how they will get support

Joy1706:

What is this one saying? Mr 'I must comment'. Mstchewww

people pick d phone and post things that has no meaningful impact be guided

Let her get a trustworthy person that can resume before she leaves in morning and close when she's back, before you know the baby has grow. Talking from experience with my 2 kids.

If she was working before now the company would have given her just 3 or four months to nurse her baby. Or would she have stayed home one

luvprince4real:
The Orekoyas Incident and OXL saga comes to mind.. @op wtch dis guy well.

Ode!The Orekoyas was a case of negligence in proper background checks.
Better still, the Op can get his mum or mother-in-law to help a while. Not every nanny you come across be like that of the Orekoyas'

FannySwindler:
What happens to exclusive breastfeeding. Mothers of this days can't even breastfeed for 6 months exclusively. Depriving their kids their rights.

Women sacrificing exclusive breastfeeding and maternal & child bonding for job?. Discuss.

Did he say the wife was abandoning the baby?

Keyana. Did you read anything abandoning or did you site any word abandon from my post. Or you just don't understand maternal bonding and exclusive breast feeding. Can you go to work and practice exclusive breast feeding as it is meant to be done? How much milk can be expressed in feeding bottle and stored properly in that country with no stable power supply.

Are you an experienced mother or a nursing mother?
Have you raised any kid of your own? Kindly enlighten me may be I could understand you better.

Am willing to learn....am that humble.

MOORCHMOORE:
I am a low income earner, with a wife, son (3 months +), nephew then 1 inlaw today another tomorrow.
My wife suddenly came home day before yesterday with the news she went Job interview.
The next day, she was ask to start work on next Monday.

Dilemma!
With what am passing through, I desire my wife to work so that we can meetup with some bills.

Our problem is we have a Son that is heading 4th month, her employers can't accept her with our baby.
She went to day cares around and was told they only admit a year plus. I tried to discourage her, knowing what our son is going to pass through. But she accused me of not being supportive.

Please I need professionals here.
This is one place I always get answers and support

more income thru yur wife at d detriment of yur growing baby. Bro, with d kind of exploitatation employer xpose employee too, am sure yur wife can not cope with work and baby care. One will definely suffer. Evrything in life is planning...u already know yur baby is still tender for yur wife to work, why allow her search for job in d first place......my advise is dat u can giv her a chance to try to work and care for d baby. If she can cope fine if she cant, then she shuld drop d job. She can always get another job. As for u, obviously, a man income determine how many mouth he can feed.....if yur income can feed yur wife and kid only, why invit external family member u can not care for?

4months is not too young. Maternity leave is 3months.

For me, it depends on the kind of job she got. If its a good job , then she is good to go. Register ur child with day care. But if it is a small/management job, let her keep waiting for a better job while still nursing the baby.

MOORCHMOORE:
I am a low income earner, with a wife, son (3 months +), nephew then 1 inlaw today another tomorrow.
My wife suddenly came home day before yesterday with the news she went Job interview.
The next day, she was ask to start work on next Monday.

Dilemma!
With what am passing through, I desire my wife to work so that we can meetup with some bills.

Our problem is we have a Son that is heading 4th month, her employers can't accept her with our baby.
She went to day cares around and was told they only admit a year plus. I tried to discourage her, knowing what our son is going to pass through. But she accused me of not being supportive.

Please I need professionals here.
This is one place I always get answers and support

there is absolutely nothing to worry yourself about, come to think of it, had it been she was on maternity leave, she would have resumed work at this same stage of the baby's life. So what I will advise you to do is to call ur blood relation to come over to the house and take good care of the baby, while she on the other hand will express breast milk for the baby b4 going to work in the morning. Nothing will happen to your baby, provided he's in good hands. Also introduce your baby to food suppliment like Apidec syrup. All the best. God will take good care of the little one. Shalom!

If the money is good, i mean cool pay etc go ahead. If the money is Some Nothing To Write About, forget it.

Burger01:

Ode!The Orekoyas was a case of negligence in proper background checks.
Better still, the Op can get his mum or mother-in-law to help a while. Not every nanny you come across be like that of the Orekoyas'

ur head dey shake.

omonnakoda:


That is all very good in theory but the so called values you talk about date back to a time when all people aspired to was a full stomach. There are over 100 million people in Nigeria. How does one feed a family these days with one man's income.

Even in the so called "values" period a woman did not stop going to the farm because she was a nursing mother indefinitely they still had communal support of family. These days we live in towns and families spend a lot of money educating male and female children. The idea that a woman should stop working and stay at home to breast feed is funny. Even 40 years ago this was not the case. We had teachers who got pregnant had babies ,took maternity leave and returned to work Most of my teachers were female and many had babies.

Let us examine a typical Nigerian family ; Husband rides okada and wife is cleaner,Husband is a teacher wife is a teacher,Husband is Civil servant and wife is same . In most cases they need the income of both. Those Nigerians who can survive on just the husband's income are rare. This is 2015 and the reality of urban life is women work.When people are getting married they need to PLAN ahead for babies and how they will get support

In my world, it is the responsibility of the man to provide for his family.

I agree with Paul of Tarsus:

"Whosoever does not provide for his family is worse than an infidel".


Four months kid needs the mother.
i wont trade that for the whole money on this earth.

This is my personal conviction anyway.

Yes she can start work if the employee will allow her to close early, from morning till afternoon like 8am to 2pm or 3pm

noblezone:


In my world, it is the responsibility of the man to provide for his family.

I agree with Paul of Tarsus:

"Whosoever does not provide for his family is worse than an infidel".


Four months kid needs the mother.
i wont trade that for the whole money on this earth.

This is my personal conviction anyway.

The person who started this thread does not live in your world or the world of Paul of Tarsus of Paul of Ogbo Hill . He lives in a world which he has described vividly. That is the real world as far as this thread is concerned. If men were providing for their families across Nigeria women and children would not be hawking and doing the 101 things women and children do in Nigeria just to eat including prostituting themselves. That is the real Nigeria let us deal with it as it really is and not live in a fantasy world.

Hundreds of women hold serious jobs in industry banking civil service ,police etc . How many employers give 4 months maternity leave.

Children need their mothers they also need their fathers too and they need food and clothes and medicines and shelter etc. The real world for Nigeria and real Nigerianss is that scenario you describe is NOT REALISTIC in the urban areas for most Nigerians

People who are young and have no life experience find it easy to talk. Do you know how many Nigerians lose their limbs DAILY riding okada trying to provide for their families. Every single day just from okada yet thereafter the families must still be provided for. Men who have never seen war are always "brave". We all know the kind of life we would like no one wants to suffer .Reality is different for the most of us.
I make bold to say WOMEN CARRY up to half if not more of Nigerian families financially both in towns and rural areas

Some nairalanders sha with their dreamworld mentality.
@Moorchmoore,bros,u wear the shoe and knows well where its pinching you.And 4month old is not too young .Think deeply and analyse your options. Presence of money in the pocket of the husband is a defence and lack of it is an offence.
These days you need a lot to train a child or else you want them to struggle unnecessarily.