People

Everyday on the internet, I hear talks about how Nigerian guys are this and that, about how unfaithful they are and how they cannot be trusted. But I have given it alot of thoughts and have come to one conclusion, the issue is most likely with the ladies these men are married too. How did I arrive at this conclusion, I would share my own story with you.

I have been married for 3 years. I work with an oil and gas company as an engineer, while my wife works in a bank. I work 2 weeks offshore and the other 2 weeks I rest. We have a child, who is about 3 years old.

So 5 days ago, my wife and I were home (she is currently on leave and I am off work for the week). I walked into the kitchen and saw my child's nanny making the rice the family was to eat. I wasn't pleased at all. I discussed the issue with my wife. Being aware I don't like anyone preparing my meal aside from her and myself, I was very unhappy she allowed the nanny prepare my meal. She apologized, said the nanny was just being overzealous. That she started the meal, but the lady took over. I told she should let me know if she's too tired to cook, so I could do it myself. I don't mind the nanny cooking for my daughter, but I like to make my meals myself or at worse my wife makes it.

Next day, my wife was busy getting groceeries for the house. The nanny prepared the meals for my daughter. I wanted to fix myself rice, but discovered there was no stew. When my wife came back, I begged her to help fix INDOMIE. That was supposed to be my first meal of the day. Mind you it was already 2pm. She agreed. After 5 minutes, I decided to check on her, she was having a shower, so I went to the kitchen to check on the food. Guess what i saw, the nanny making the meal. I entered into the kitchen and saw the nanny (a young lady in her 20s) stirring the meal on the fire and smiling seductively at me. I was mad.

I discussed this with my wife, she apologized, said she put the indomie on fire and just stepped into the bathroom to have a shower, having just gotten back from the market. That the nanny must have decided to help out.


Then I started to ask myself some very important questions, why am I married to my wife and not the nanny? The nanny takes care of my daughter, cooks for her, does her home work and apparently cooks my meal too.


My wife's excuse is that she works and her work is very engaging and tiring. Yes, she works hard and is quite successful in her career. But sadly she doesnt contribute a single penny to the upkeep of the family. I am aware her salary is like 50% of mine, which is quite substantial. But she keeps 100% of it to herself. I pay for everything in the house, including her personal needs, which includes drivers, laundryman, house cleaners, vacations and everything else you can think of.


I remember some years ago, she compalined that I don't do chores around the house, I asked her what chores she does herself and the only answer she could come with is arranging the children's clothes and the house. I asked her what chores she wanted me to do, when we have 2 of her relatives staying with us and both of them were on holidays doing nothing. She ranted and complained that I just sit around whenever Im off work and do nothing. So since then I started washing my own plates and sweeping our own room whenever I can.


I noticed the above is common trend among educated Nigerian women. They leave their husbands at the mercies of housemaids and nannies. Back in the days, our mothers would never allow anyone feed her husband. They would personally ensure they handle that themselves. The modern Nigerian woman, all in the name of career, would abandon her husband and children.


Sometimes, I wake up in the morning, the first thing I see is a scantily dressed nanny serving me breakfast, people, pls tell me when would a young man not start having funny thoughts about the nanny. My major concern is even the look the nanny gives me anytime she sees me walk into the kitchen, while she is cooking. What if she decides to put love portion in the meal (who knows if those things are real or not). If I am not a christian and with some degree of self control and I start to misbehave with this nanny, they would come and say yoruba men have started again.



Can anyone tell me why I shouldn't be married to my child's nanny instead of my wife, because in my honest opinion, she adds more value to me than my wife.


Anyway, I have started making my meals myself. I have refused to eat anything prepared by her or the nanny. Its been over a week and I am healthy. Let her continue with her fight for women rights and feminism.

the sh** outta your wife then f*** the sh** outta your nanny.Thats equality . I already made a promise withe my God. NO FEMINISTS

You're the problem.

Difficult and hard to please.

that look the nanny is giving you, is all in your head.

And your generalization is just funny. You think me an Igbo woman won't hire a cook and out my feet up if I could afford it?

This one Na excuse to pursue women from other areas as you're obviously 'belleful' of the ones around you.

Shoro niyen?

@cococandy


Soro ni yen. I suspect you might actually be wife or just another yoruba woman

cococandy:
You're the problem.

Difficult and hard to please.

And that look the nanny is giving you, is all in your head.

And your generalization is just funny. You think me and Igbo woman won't hire a cook and out my feet up if I could afford it?

This one Na excuse to pursue women from other areas as you're obviously 'belleful' of the ones around you.

Please tell me in what way has the woman tried to please the husband and in what way is he hard to please? In my opinion, the op is married to two women, an official and a complement. It's only a matter of time before one completely takes over!

Guy don't cheat on your wife ooo....no nanny things Bro

Be flexible a bit. Sometimes we try to hard because we

are sticking to principles. If the nannny is trustworthy

and cooks well, manage with your wife those times.

I dnt understand, if a man provides 100% of his family's need, why can't d woman do 100% of d chores?

Women who want men to share chores with them, but don't want to share expenses with their man...

Na wa o. Now I understand why some men cheat. Some women nor dey try at all.

First of all, that your one conclusion you arrived at is wrong because it does not hold true for all cheating "yoruba" men. I even think its not true in your case as you'v have decided to cheat if you see calabar girl (na so you like food), then blame it on your wife or feminism.

What do you even want? Is it for your wife to stop working or always fix your meal?
Your wife adds no value at all? try the maid or calabar woman whether they have all the values you want or if you will not remember why you married your wife?
I think the maid is not a better cook else you would have compromise. You think you wife dont meet guys in her work place that can "add value" you may not be adding or you think only you want all value addition?

Man, you deal with your problem and not run to a safer ground instead or you will also run from calabar woman when she lacks in an area.

It seems your love language is act of service, if true, your wife is doing one by loving your daughter the way no maid, calabar girl or woman may do. She only need to step up, sometimes all you need do is hold her hand to step up.

You married her a career woman, i also doubt your perfectionist type would have been attracted to the uneducated housewife you described. Her job is tiring as she said and she got a maid because she needed one. Its not like she is making no effort to cook at all, abi you have other problems with her. Cut her some slacks, encourage and appreciate her. Routine is not easy to break, she is used to the maid helping out when you are not around.
I doubt if you've told her these the way you told us, you've not make her see your pain in it. You told her about the maid cooking again but you left out the seduction part that would have made her chase the maid and help her to be careful.

If you really fear God and love daughter, do all to send that maid away. Communicate where it hurts to your wife so that she may ease things, you may too may find you are hurting her somewhere.

Can anyone tell me why I shouldn't be married to my child's nanny instead of my wife, because in my honest opinion, she adds more value to me than my wife.

Pls marry your nanny but she might not be befitting for your status. All you need do is upgrade her

hahahahahahahah that sexy look might not be that sexy.
even the devil gives you a hat before he takes your head.


you don't need anyone stopping you. sleep with with the nanny ,very soon you will begin to fight custody battle with your child.

I hope by then nanny will be there to add more value to your life as she is already doing.

A very insightful story & thread I hope folks can learn some valuable lessons out of this.

Marry your nanny, trust me, she will be worse than your wife.

Thanks everyone for your contributions. I have actually given her three options:

1. We share the house chores equally and share cost equally too.

2. I resign from work and take care of the house, while she works and funds d household expenditure 100%, plus monthly allowance for me.

3. Resign from work and take care of her family. Would give her half of what she currently earns as personal allowance.

I am aware her salary is like 50% of mine, which is quite substantial. But she keeps 100% of it to herself. I pay for everything in the house, including her personal needs, which includes drivers, laundryman, house cleaners, vacations and everything else you can think of.

Now, OP, this is the crux of the matter. Resolve this issue with your wife and I bet you my second hand blackberry bold 2 that you would
look more kindly on her excesses and correct her with love.

Na wa o. What re we talking abt here? 2 mins indomitable. Why can't a woman take out 2 mins of her time to prepare a 2 mins meal for her husband, regardless of whether he takes care of d house or not?

Did anyone notice that was suppose to be d guy's meal of the day.

Some things are inexcusable


Op is slow, d nanny shd be 9 months pregnant by now

Odidire:
Thanks everyone for your contributions. I have actually given her three options:

1. We share the house chores equally and share cost equally too.

2. I resign from work and take care of the house, while she works and funds d household expenditure 100%, plus monthly allowance for me.

3. Resign from work and take care of her family. Would give her half of what she currently earns as personal allowance.

Your options where borne out of your anger, you didnt even consider her happiness.
Can she give you options too where you are lacking?
It seems you already dealt with the problem in your dictatorship way?
You are falling out of love with your wife, that's if there's any love left. So you would prefare an unhappy housewife provided she speak your love language which is act of service by force. She may not even know of your love language (which i can talk to her on this) and you too prolly isnt speaking hers.

Dude, you are picking something from somewhere and adding to your marriage, it may destroy it. Perhaps she wouldnt have married you if you were the man you are turning into.
Your main problem is not your wife, it could be feminism or sort. When you are ready to give a stable family to your kids, you will deal with it.
Btw, need i remind you that your work can be unstable, what happens if shait happen, you will come back to a housewife?
Would you really resign to be a househusband if your wife was the one who work 2weeks away, abi only her can cope with the loneliness the two weeks onshore brings?

Did they "strip" yet?

This is the fakest story in the world. You are trying very hard to start a controversial thread but you are such a poor writer and an unintelligent one too. If this is the best fictional tale you can come up with then your IQ must be very low.

And then you make your whole rubbish thread about one tribe? You can't even marry a nanny in real life cos your IQ is too low. Too many obvious lies in your story!

This last contributor is high on snuff.

Dude didn't ask for pounced yam with efo riro. He asked for indomie. Shdnt a wife be glad her husband wants to eat her meal. Other women re crying their husbands re always at peppersoup joints, and one is here toying with hers.


We like to copy the whites, but we dnt apply sense when copying. A white woman shares expenses with her husband 50:50. She drives herself, no driver. Her family members re nt living with them, why won't her husband share chores with her?

But u black women want to have ur cake and still eat it. Keep ur own money, put ur expenses and that of ur fam on hubby and still ask for poor dude to do chores. No wonder women outlive Dr husbands.

How does a woman ask her husband to do dishes when her younger ones live in d same house, eating the man's food? Kai, I smh

Op, Since she Wants you Both to Do the Chores in the House, then you should also Share the Expenses.... I don't understand why Some Women do that. They Save there Money for there Own Family members as if the man doesn't Have people he would Like to Help too

Your wife is high

Am not yet married but I think some women are the cause of their own problem. She knows fully well that her husband doesn't like it when the maid prepares the meal but she doesn't seem to care.
Where is the joy of marriage when things that is supposed to spice up the marriage is done mostly by the maid?? Cooking the meal together, helping the kids with their assignment, cleaning and so on.
A maid that is good at cooking might end up with the husband one day. There are some works that aren't meant for the maid.

Odidire, your article doesn't really support your claims of yoruba women being more prone to feminism or that feminism is somehow linked to your wife's behaviour. Not saying that your claims are baseless, only tha your post doesn't provide proof of them.

XKZ:
Women who want men to share chores with them, but don't want to share expenses with their man...

Very good question...

Xavier2:
I dnt understand, if a man provides 100% of his family's need, why can't d woman do 100% of d chores?

Very good question

Help me ask them oh

Nobody has bothered answering the pertinent question.... "if you pay for all the expense, why shouldn't your wife do all the chores"

My guy, as much as I don't support this thing about your maid eyeing you, (Infact you ought to fire her as soon as those thoughts start entering your head), you have some points...

If you wife doesn't pay for anything in the house, doesn't do anything in the house, doesn't take care of her baby, has 2 relatives who you actually cater for.... then her value is in the negative integers.... she is useless as far as common sense is concerned...

Odidire:
People

Everyday on the internet, I hear talks about how yorubas guys are this and that, about how unfaithful they are and how they cannot be trusted. But I have given it alot of thoughts and have come to one conclusion, the issue is most likely with the ladies these yoruba men are married too. How did I arrive at this conclusion, I would share my own story with you.

I have been married for 3 years. I work with an oil and gas company as an engineer, while my wife works in a bank. I work 2 weeks offshore and the other 2 weeks I rest. We have a child, who is about 3 years old.

So 5 days ago, my wife and I were home (she is currently on leave and I am off work for the week). I walked into the kitchen and saw my child's nanny making the rice the family was to eat. I wasn't pleased at all. I discussed the issue with my wife. Being aware I don't like anyone preparing my meal aside from her and myself, I was very unhappy she allowed the nanny prepare my meal. She apologized, said the nanny was just being overzealous. That she started the meal, but the lady took over. I told she should let me know if she's too tired to cook, so I could do it myself. I don't mind the nanny cooking for my daughter, but I like to make my meals myself or at worse my wife makes it.

Next day, my wife was busy getting groceeries for the house. The nanny prepared the meals for my daughter. I wanted to fix myself rice, but discovered there was no stew. When my wife came back, I begged her to help fix INDOMIE. That was supposed to be my first meal of the day. Mind you it was already 2pm. She agreed. After 5 minutes, I decided to check on her, she was having a shower, so I went to the kitchen to check on the food. Guess what i saw, the nanny making the meal. I entered into the kitchen and saw the nanny (a young lady in her 20s) stirring the meal on the fire and smiling seductively at me. I was mad.

I discussed this with my wife, she apologized, said she put the indomie on fire and just stepped into the bathroom to have a shower, having just gotten back from the market. That the nanny must have decided to help out.


Then I started to ask myself some very important questions, why am I married to my wife and not the nanny? The nanny takes care of my daughter, cooks for her, does her home work and apparently cooks my meal too.


My wife's excuse is that she works and her work is very engaging and tiring. Yes, she works hard and is quite successful in her career. But sadly she doesnt contribute a single penny to the upkeep of the family. I am aware her salary is like 50% of mine, which is quite substantial. But she keeps 100% of it to herself. I pay for everything in the house, including her personal needs, which includes drivers, laundryman, house cleaners, vacations and everything else you can think of.


I remember some years ago, she compalined that I don't do chores around the house, I asked her what chores she does herself and the only answer she could come with is arranging the children's clothes and the house. I asked her what chores she wanted me to do, when we have 2 of her relatives staying with us and both of them were on holidays doing nothing. She ranted and complained that I just sit around whenever Im off work and do nothing. So since then I started washing my own plates and sweeping our own room whenever I can.


I noticed the above is common trend among educated yoruba women. They leave their husbands at the mercies of housemaids and nannies. An igbo or an hausa woman would never allow anyone feed her husband. They would personally ensure they handle that themselves. A yoruba woman, all in the name of career, would abandon her husband and children.


Sometimes, I wake up in the morning, the first thing I see is a scantily dressed nanny serving me breakfast, people, pls tell me when would a young man not start having funny thoughts about the nanny. My major concern is even the look the nanny gives me anytime she sees me walk into the kitchen, while she is cooking. What if she decides to put love portion in the meal (who knows if those things are real or not). If I am not a christian and with some degree of self control and I start to misbehave with this nanny, they would come and say yoruba men have started again.



Can anyone tell me why I shouldn't be married to my child's nanny instead of my wife, because in my honest opinion, she adds more value to me than my wife.


Anyway, I have started making my meals myself. I have refused to eat anything prepared by her or the nanny. Its been over a week and I am healthy. Let her continue with her fight for women rights and feminism. When I see a good calabar girl, her eyes would clear.

now I know why Yoruba men detest marrying their women .. never knew this was the reason reason but

its the Igbo women that are career suc