ceecee0703:


read again he said most men....n besides mehn are moved by what they see no matter who they are. so prevention by what means u deem fit is better

Seems many people don't actually comprehend because there is nothing silly in the OP post infcat all i can see is that he never generalized and he kept hammering on the fact that a wife should not allow a made make the husband's food or make their matrimonial bed and i honestly wonder why any reasonable lady will have issues with that.

Mindfulness:


He could have said it without telling people to employ minors and without claiming that men are unable to resist temptation.

Then I would have agreed with him 100%.

Its like people have issues with the word "most" because most means not all. The issues of minor should be put to rest biko.

A minor well come to our house to ask for 1k we sill be saying stories but this minor should rather GO AND DIE rather than work for 10k a month with free feeding and accommodation and by the way, if Nigeria okays 13years for marriage then shall we call a house help(not slave) of 13-17years unfit?

Abeg lets think deep and stop upholding a baseless policies that will not put food on the table or provide education for these same minors.

SAMBARRY:
I taya o.na every thing them go dey quote Bible for.

Kotokoto

. Do yu live in Kotokoto?

Prevention is better than fighting temptation.




This sentence though

ceecee0703:


read again he said most men....n besides mehn are moved by what they see no matter who they are. so prevention by what means u deem fit is better

I don't have to read it again. One time was enough. And whether most men are or are not able to resist temptation, he can't know.

ORALL:
Well it seems most nigeria women want contract marriage....

People marry for different reasons,before I marry a lady I must have been told either by her parents or friends how good she is in home keeping...and one of the qualities I search in lady is her ability to take care of the homes and chores...the reasons marriage is so fucke.d up today is that couples have abandoned their roles in marriage,me marrying you I will let you know right from the start that one of. The reasons of me marrying you is because of your homing keeping skills..should you decide to pursue a career or not that is entirely left to you....now matter how we try to make sure that there is balance in marriage,it won't work,some will definitely have to put up with his/her partners bullshi.t...

I maid doing virtually everything that I love to see my wife do automatically make my wife invalid and I will consider such wife as on-important and might as well make the maid my wife...you know your roles and I know mine...I did not marry you to come home by 8pm and watch telemundo till 12 only for you to wake-up this next morning and off you go leaving me at the mercy of a maid all in the process of pursing a career..and you as well is not my slave..I too have roles to play and works to do..

To all you praying and looking for a contract marriage..the kim k marriage type whereby your husband will be paying you some millions of naira every single year that you spend with him...I pray you find such marriage..

Nothing wrong with you having a preference for women who enjoy doing house chores. It is up to you to choose the woman you want to get married to and to design your marriage the way you want it to be.

However, many people have different priorities and that's fine too. Do you think that Mrs Gates' or Mrs Obama's main responsibility is to do house chores? I am sure they are busy doing more interesting things and yet their husbands do not consider them redundant.

tete7000:


If we live like this we basically will be teaching our male children:' My male child you are weak, it is ok to be weak and it is the duty of the society to ensure that you don't fall into temptation. When they become weak, rape and get condemned into prison then we tell them don't mind the society that condemned you to this fate, it is a wicked society. Or do you suppose weakness will be excuse to exonorate such a weak male child?

I think you are reading another meaning into my posts. I only called out a fact which is, men are weak and vulnerable by reason of the fall of our first parents. I didn't say it is okay to be weak, its the same as saying it is okay to be sinful. And i didn't say or imply that. We should teach our children to know what is right and wrong. No doubt, our male children should be told that sexual immorality is wrong. That will answer the question of what should be done but HOW they would do this is another question. Remember we are talking about sexual sin! and the biblical solution is flee! flee! avoid anything directly or indirectly that can arouse sexual thoughts. You mustn't commit the act first before it is termed adultery! Just a lustful look is enough! And of course, if a man commits adultery with his maid, he would be held responsible, along side his careless wife. She will share the blame too.

tete7000:

NO! Our appeal however not save the child from incarceration, will it? Do you think it will, I doubt'
I am a christian and honestly you can't be too sure of how many temptations of this nature I have had to face. When God put the fruit in the garden, have you ever ask yourself why? If you haven't I ll explain it to you. Their can be no faith without temptation. There can be no love proven without an avenue to cheat. It is in face of temptation we prove our loyality to either man or God. Consistently leaving in and resisting temptation is what strengthen our resolve to do good. Show me a person who has never had reason to resist temptation and I ll show you one who has never began to live in reality. Our spiritual journey itself consists of everyday saying NO to the devil and YES to God. Will God remove the temptation from the surface of the earth so that we can have a stress-free journey to heaven? Definitely No, Jesus illustrated this in the parable of the weeds in Matthew 13:24-30. Kindly endeavour to study it.

Sir, are you saying the best way to prove your love is to accommodate temptation and resisting it eventually? Are you saying, men should give room for temptation in order to prove that they love their wives?? This is strange Are you now playing the role of the tempter, the devil?

Sir, please look away from yourself and look at Christ, the embodiment of all strength. We are weak beings. We are not strong people. We cant pat ourselves on the back because we have not met our match. It is only God's grace that can cause a man to exercise self control. Whether we are aware of it or not. Your ability to resist temptation of all kinds is because of God's grace.

tete7000:

And you ask me which man has stood in face of temptation and resist it? Did you not read about Joseph in the bible? Yes Joseph, he resisted and God promoted him ultimately because of his choice. You want to mention David I guess? Did God not punish him for the sin? Was any excuse from him tenable before God? Definitely NO. And was the woman actually living in the house with him when he committed the sin? No, meaning a lustful man will always seek occasion to perform his nefarios act whether it is present in the house or not. Only a Godly resolve save man from this sin.
I grow up in a house where house girls mostly matured ones are constantly present, so I don't see any big deal in living with house girls. Living with house girls for me is not an issue and I dont see the difference between it and living with any other female relative. Infact they come in and are seen and respected as part of the family.

Did Joseph flee or he stood to "resist" it? And oh sorry, God had already ordained before time that Joseph would be great, no matter what. And not because he overcame temptation.

And yes, David the man after God's own heart, the blessed and righteous man also fell into many sins. That should tell you how weak we are. If David can fall, why not you? And should your wife help you fall? hell no.

peppyluv02:
And our front pages are always graced with the news of shameless men sleeping with their daughters and kids. Some guys will even be proud to tell you they slept with their cousin and someone quoted this and called it wisdom...funny.

/
You did not proffer any possible solution. Yet you couldn't wait to vomit on another person's opinion.

Fact: Society will never be 100% free of crime. Crime can only be reduced.

Got it?
\

I'm not sure the writer of this piece got the understanding of the bible verse quoted. The word ''maid'' as rendered in the scripture was used in the sense of female or lady or woman and not in the sense of housemaid or house minder. The ways of men with women are indeed wonderful

Bigsteveg:



Den y'all should stop disguising urself as a 'hole' and start behaving like a woman by stop wearing rags called cloth and exposing ur body.

Tell that to your sisters and mama

Arijosh:
#Shoroniyen....... Manner pls

apply the manners to yourself first. Oponu

Keep giving silly excuse for randy behavior. Still glad I know a lot of decent men out there who don't sleep with any woman just because she has ass and boobs.

InvertedHammer:


/
You did not proffer any possible solution. Yet you couldn't wait to vomit on another person's opinion.

Fact: Society will never be 100% free of crime. Crime can only be reduced.

Got it?
\

lovemaths:


Tell that to your sisters and mama

EEDIOT, I was talking generally to every women outside, y is ur body heating up? Dats shows ure guilty.

Toks2008:


All these sermons does not change the fact that a wife who allows a maid take over her kitchen should not cry foul if she takes over her bedroom.

When you eventually get married sleep with your maid if your wife is not there to cook for you.

Finish matter.

You think all men are like you to find only robust women attractive. So the slim ones are not attractive to anyone yet there is a slim craze in the world right now. Speak for yourself not all men. Men complain of trust and here you are saying she should always pray for her husband . A woman wants to trust her husband always knowing he's a man whose mind is not only occupied with sex and will not sleep with anyone they think is attractive. There is no moral justification for not having self control.

jnrbayano:


You see why I type very little and straight to the point?

I never justify lack of self-control. The Op too. I only said that a lady who is voluptuous is already sexually attracting.

I also suggested that a wife should not relegate her duties such as cooking for her husband, serving the food to her husband dressing the bed etc to her housemaid the time I said "employing another helper (woman)"

I pointed out what a wise wife does. She prays for her husband and mitigate temptation from the family.

Her foolish counterparts rather bring hell (temptation etc) to their homes.

Good morning.

remsonik:

I don't want him to look. Self control is key. A matured man will have no difficulty keeping it zip. I'd rather not get a maid at all than to sleep with my employee

U and d op are saying the same thing, he only added d use of 'children as maid' to his. I'll look @it from two angles, he's right Buh didn't present it in a right way. But I do get his point.

Mindfulness:


Nothing wrong with you having a preference for women who enjoy doing house chores. It is up to you to choose the woman you want to get married to and to design your marriage the way you want it to be.

However, many people have different priorities and that's fine too. Do you think that Mrs Gates' or Mrs Obama's main responsibility is to do house chores? I am sure they are busy doing more interesting things and yet their husbands do not consider them redundant.

Miss gates and miss obama cultures ...I have seen and met so many people from across the sea who married nigeria men and do their will in terms of house keeping,so you using obama or bill wife is totally out of the equation

An2elect2:
I think you are reading another meaning into my posts. I only called out a fact which is, men are weak and vulnerable by reason of the fall of our first parents. I didn't say it is okay to be weak, its the same as saying it is okay to be sinful. And i didn't say or imply that. We should teach our children to know what is right and wrong. No doubt, our male children should be told that sexual immorality is wrong. That will answer the question of what should be done but HOW they would do this is another question. Remember we are talking about sexual sin! and the biblical solution is flee! flee! avoid anything directly or indirectly that can arouse sexual thoughts. You mustn't commit the act first before it is termed adultery! Just a lustful look is enough! And of course, if a man commits adultery with his maid, he would be held responsible, along side his careless wife. She will share the blame too.
Sir, are you saying the best way to prove your love is to accommodate temptation and resisting it eventually? Are you saying, men should give room for temptation in order to prove that they love their wives?? This is strange Are you now playing the role of the tempter, the devil?

Sir, please look away from yourself and look at Christ, the embodiment of all strength. We are weak beings. We are not strong people. We cant pat ourselves on the back because we have not met our match. It is only God's grace that can cause a man to exercise self control. Whether we are aware of it or not. Your ability to resist temptation of all kinds is because of God's grace.


Did Joseph flee or he stood to "resist" it. And oh sorry, God had already ordained before time that Joseph would be great, no matter what. And not because he overcame temptation.

And yes, David the man after God's own heart, the blessed and righteous man also fell into many sins. That should tell you how weak we are. If David can fall, why not you? And should your wife help you fall? hell no.

Joseph lived with Portiphar's wife for a long time before that incident. If you read your bible well it tells you at various times, the woman had tried many times to seduce him but he constantly refused. He found a way to always avoid her, metamophorically constantly fleeing from her. It was on a particular day the woman wanted to force him to lay with her that he ran and left his cloth with the woman. Of course the woman will later used the same cloth to lie against him. He landed in jail because he couldnt displease God.
One thing you can be sure of is that you are no man, I am. Imagine that I work in a place and there is a woman trying to seduce me there, do I abandon my work because the bible say I should flee and becomes jobless? Let say I do so with my first job and luckily get another and face the same situation, do I do that in all my subsequent places of work and ultimately becomes an insane who can't hold on to a job? The problem with many people is that they give literal translations to biblical quotations. Flee doesnt necessary mean run, it means don't put yourself in situation where there is no way out of temptation for you, where you can but compromised. If you have to work with a seductive coworker for instance, leave the door always open and don't remain alone with such a person long after people have gone. Only in extreme cases where you are totally helpless must you leave jobs. Fight the devil back with spiritual war- prayer when necessary and live to let people know what your stand on christian moral issues are at all times.
Temptation is part of a Christian life. Go back and read the parable of the weed I recommend to you. You will understand God doesnt expect us to live without the devil. He is ever present tempting us but the grace to overcome temptation is given by God himself. A life of constant prayer and vigilance is what we need. We can't be paranoid about being tempted that our live is totally devoid of any useful purpose:- we stop doing the job we like, we can't accomodate a helper we need. That is not christianity and that is not what the scripture meant by flee my sister.
Anyone indulged in live will never grow. Even our immune system doesn't develop until exposed to disease. Moderate exposure to temptation is needed for a strong and vibrant spiritual life not a paronoidal running from everything seen as temptation. How can a decent and modest house-girl living with a woman becomes a perennial source of temptation to her husband? In that case it is no longer the girl who is the source of temptation to the man but man the source of temptation to the poor girl. He chases her around the house seeking to have intercourse with the poor girl and claims the girl tempts her? Nonsense! Who tempts who?

Why do you want to marry a 'Christian man' that can't see a maid without desiring sleeping with her? The same thing Portiphar's wife sought to do with Joseph. What sort of useless man is that? Where is his spiritual strength? Will he walk on the road and seek to sleep with all the half nude girl walking around too? If he prevents a maid from living with him, can he prevent his co-worker from indecently dressing to work too? Jesus lived as man here on earth, He was surrounded and was catered for by women not related to him and you didn't hear he lusted after those women neither did you read he kept the women at bay from himself. He should be model of every serious Christian man.

peppyluv02:
Keep giving silly excuse for randy behavior. Still glad I know a lot of decent men out there who don't sleep with any woman just because she has ass and boobs.

/
We are not concerned about the decent ones.

We are worried about the indecent ones.

The thread is not about decent men.

Why is this difficult for you to understand?

Running away from a problem does not solve it.

\

Welll all I can say is let us accept the op's opinion 100% on one condition.
That such a tempted man will fall if the maid has HIV.

Daz all!

ORALL:


Miss gates and miss obama cultures ...I have seen and met so many people from across the sea who married nigeria men and do their will in terms of house keeping,so you using obama or bill wife is totally out of the equation

This is not about a different culture. I have never said that women overseas do not do chores. I just chose these two examples because I was just reading an article about these families.

The gist of my comment was that many ladies prefer doing something else than chores and their husbands do not mind and yet their families are "intact". Some ladies even hate doing chores, they consider the work extremely boring. (Can you blame them?)

There are even men who prefer a business lady who employs a domestic aid to women who focus on chores. And there are men like you. This is perfect. Each cup fits a lid.

cococandy:


OP is the one stereotyping all men to have no self control and you don't seem to have a problem with him.
But somehow regardless of what I posted, I'm the one bashing Nigerian men.
Some of you don't apply sense when commenting. You say what you want to say without engaging your brains. I wonder what's responsible for this level of senselessness.
@bold, you're the prejudiced ediot who should be advising himself to read first without commenting stupidly.

Re-read your comment and hear your own voice in your head... You see what I'm saying? Beautiful dunce.

fr3do:
This houseboy, housegirl norm is modern day slavery!
[b]A matured help [/b]can always be employed to work part time.

The business of paying for and rendering help can become a big industry that can provide much employment.

And what makes you think that " a matured help" cannot be oga's prey huh?
Guys stop making excuses for your lack of self control .

tucee31:


And what makes you think that " a matured help" cannot be oga's prey huh?
Guys stop making excuses for your lack of self control .

I'm speaking against child labour and slavery, IDGAF if a man has consensual sex with his 18 or older maid.
So far the man is not my brother in law.

chinnyonwu:

Hi Kenny, just out of curiosity...
If a women is sexualy satisified, does she still desire to have sex with more men?

YES. Variety is d spice of life

tete7000:


If we live like this we basically will be teaching our male children:' My male child you are weak, it is ok to be weak and it is the duty of the society to ensure that you don't fall into temptation. When they become weak, rape and get condemned into prison then we tell them don't mind the society that condemned you to this fate, it is a wicked society. Or do you suppose weakness will be excuse to exonorate such a weak male child? NO! Our appeal however not save the child from incarceration, will it? Do you think it will, I doubt'
I am a christian and honestly you can't be too sure of how many temptations of this nature I have had to face. When God put the fruit in the garden, have you ever ask yourself why? If you haven't I ll explain it to you. Their can be no faith without temptation. There can be no love proven without an avenue to cheat. It is in face of temptation we prove our loyality to either man or God. Consistently leaving in and resisting temptation is what strengthen our resolve to do good. Show me a person who has never had reason to resist temptation and I ll show you one who has never began to live in reality. Our spiritual journey itself consists of everyday saying NO to the devil and YES to God. Will God remove the temptation from the surface of the earth so that we can have a stress-free journey to heaven? Definitely No, Jesus illustrated this in the parable of the weeds in Matthew 13:24-30. Kindly endeavour to study it.

And you ask me which man has stood in face of temptation and resist it? Did you not read about Joseph in the bible? Yes Joseph, he resisted and God promoted him ultimately because of his choice. You want to mention David I guess? Did God not punish him for the sin? Was any excuse from him tenable before God? Definitely NO. And was the woman actually living in the house with him when he committed the sin? No, meaning a lustful man will always seek occasion to perform his nefarios act whether it is present in the house or not. Only a Godly resolve save man from this sin.
I grow up in a house where house girls mostly matured ones are constantly present, so I don't see any big deal in living with house girls. Living with house girls for me is not an issue and I dont see the difference between it and living with any other female relative. Infact they come in and are seen and respected as part of the family.

There is hope in Nigeria afterall

tete7000:


Joseph lived with Portiphar's wife for a long time before that incident. If you read your bible well it tells you at various times, the woman had tried many times to seduce him but he constantly refused. He found a way to always avoid her, metamophorically constantly fleeing from her. It was on a particular day the woman wanted to force him to lay with her that he ran and left his cloth with the woman. Of course the woman will later used the same cloth to lie against him. He landed in jail because he couldnt displease God.
One thing you can be sure of is that you are no man, I am. Imagine that I work in a place and there is a woman trying to seduce me there, do I abandon my work because the bible say I should flee and becomes jobless? Let say I do so with my first job and luckily get another and face the same situation, do I do that in all my subsequent places of work and ultimately becomes an insane who can't hold on to a job? The problem with many people is that they give literal translations to biblical quotations. Flee doesnt necessary mean run, it means don't put yourself in situation where there is no way out of temptation for you, where you can but compromised. If you have to work with a seductive coworker for instance, leave the door always open and don't remain alone with such a person long after people have gone. Only in extreme cases where you are totally helpless must you leave jobs. Fight the devil back with spiritual war- prayer when necessary and live to let people know what your stand on christian moral issues are at all times.
Temptation is part of a Christian life. Go back and read the parable of the weed I recommend to you. You will understand God doesnt expect us to live without the devil. He is ever present tempting us but the grace to overcome temptation is given by God himself. A life of constant prayer and vigilance is what we need. We can't be paranoid about being tempted that our live is totally devoid of any useful purpose:- we stop doing the job we like, we can't accomodate a helper we need. That is not christianity and that is not what the scripture meant by flee my sister.
Anyone indulged in live will never grow. Even our immune system doesn't develop until exposed to disease. Moderate exposure to temptation is needed for a strong and vibrant spiritual life not a paronoidal running from everything seen as temptation. How can a decent and modest house-girl living with a woman becomes a perennial source of temptation to her husband? In that case it is no longer the girl who is the source of temptation to the man but man the source of temptation to the poor girl. He chases her around the house seeking to have intercourse with the poor girl and claims the girl tempts her? Nonsense! Who tempts who?

Why do you want to marry a 'Christian man' that can't see a maid without desiring sleeping with her? The same thing Portiphar's wife sought to do with Joseph. What sort of useless man is that? Where is his spiritual strength? Will he walk on the road and seek to sleep with all the half nude girl walking around too? If he prevents a maid from living with him, can he prevent his co-worker from indecently dressing to work too? Jesus lived as man here on earth, He was surrounded and was catered for by women not related to him and you didn't hear he lusted after those women neither did you read he kept the women at bay from himself. He should be model of every serious Christian man.

You just dey sweet me seriously

I know you don't have home training and possibly, your IQ is pretty low; otherwise, you'd understand the benign humour, and the art of conversation, especially when you'd rather show humility rather than thump your chest!

If you had a modicum of decency, you'd have highlighted your concerns without showing your uncouth street urchin habits!

chinnyonwu:

ARE you naturally daft or ur just making a special effort today?

Seriously! What manner of MAN is this tete7000 guy?!

Can I PM you?

Ehmmm.... Hope you aren't married?!

Lol! Just kidding.


Let's leave the voluptuous or not voluptuous maid asides for one second!

Seriously, why should a man's brain stop functioning (literally) to the extent of destroying himself, his wife, his children, his peace of mind, his integrity, etc etc..... Just to have SEX with his maid!

Even if she wears only pants and bra to serve him breakfast in the bedroom! I mean think, think, think, think! For once, let that kpomo in between your legs DON'T do the thinking for you!!!! The thought of what you have ti loose, is that not enough to reset your 'intelligent' brain?!

Is it worth it?

like really, is it not gross stupidity?


Am looking at it from another angle!

And since you're not daft, you'd also know the meaning of speculation. Yours is a special case of stupid!

chinnyonwu:

ARE you naturally daft or ur just making a special effort today?

ideykwum:
I know you don't have home training and possibly, your IQ is pretty low; otherwise, you'd understand the benign humour, and the art of conversation, especially when you'd rather show humility rather than thump your chest!

If you had a modicum of decency, you'd have highlighted your concerns without showing your uncouth street urchin habits!

You must be a v foolish fowl.
So you cannot still comprehend my post?
Were you not the one talking about "self control"? How you can never sleep with your maid but can carry as many Uniport Babes.
did you forget you were talking about self control?
Or you were high on drugs when you typed that?

You're a fool who doesn't know when his kernel has been cracked by the gods! You come on Nairaland and instead of seeing it as an opportunity to foster new bridges and friendships, you go about cursing your betters...people you don't know from Adam! What kind of parents raised this kind of degenerate imp?

Like I said, you don't know the meaning of humour and speculative discuss! Stick-in-the-mud crap! Untrained young imp!

chinnyonwu:

You must be a v foolish fowl.
So you cannot still comprehend my post?
Were you not the one talking about "self control"? How you can never sleep with your maid but can carry as many Uniport Babes.
did you forget you were talking about self control?
Or you were high on drugs when you typed that?