raumdeuter:


Any madam who wants to start seeing another guy is free to do so. Using Lagos as an example When a man and wife wakes up at 5am dont get back till like 9pm. Both having to care for children you brought into the world

atimes travel to far places for business just to keep the house moving and the other thinks the best is to find another bobo or babe then no problem

Hopefully that bobo would also do the things needed to keep the house running pay bills, take care of children and do everything. Couples that used to visit cinema or club every friday night before marriage ask them after marriage and kids how many times have they been able to do that

Chillis:
M

What are you saying? Is it thé joker i called people that made you type all thèse. When féminists are called names.,no one Will find your input but Will quickly find you on thé reverse.

Madam, pls take thé back Seat i dont havé Time for plenty talk.

Edwife, m'y gadget is messing up. Thé french no wan disappear.

If you dont bêlieve in something,your business but dont Also try to rédicule others.

I suggest you and d'amiso should take her advise

Chillis:


With the 20 tassan naira they pay as salary

cococandy:


Lol. And making you work all day 7days a week for it.

crackhaus:

Lol...babe, how you treat yourself when you're by yourself cannot be used to measure your worth.
First and only because, this is usually the time when you can be most yourself without the need for etiquette or standing-on-ceremony.
I honestly don't know how to explain this to you further.

About the heels example and how someone may have conditioned her mind into believing that heels are only meant for women of class - this begs the question, why did she even buy heels in the first place if she's only going to be wearing slippers which she feels are more suited to her station?

This here situation above isn't even about self-love anymore but about someone who's seriously lacking in exposure, self-esteem - and the consequence of these, are mass insecurities.

Same goes with the mugs/plates being only suitable for guests/big visitors. lol...
So you mean someone with the standing to have & entertain big visitors lacks self-love because she chooses to use plastic plates when alone?
Come on girl, you're trivializing the whole concept of self-love when you make use of examples like these.

I can understand when parents hide their China wares from their little kids to avoid breakage and injury... but to say that someone lacks self-love because he/she eats with plastics or aluminium and then offers China ceramic to visitors, is just you stretching it and interpreting something that isn't there.

Chillis:


On Sunday you resume by 11am after service.
Wickedness.

MizMyColi:


The "I do not agree" part of my post prolly got you all defensive.
You would have seen that I touched up on the same things you're explaining now.

These things might mean nothing to you, but to the other it does.
To each his own path.

cococandy:


Not like it bad for people to work such hours if they want to, but the small pay and no benefits and no security is discouraging.

Plus most importantly, no one to look into your case if you're harrassed. If you don't like the harassment, your only choice is to quit.
That's the most important part.

MizMyColi:


Well, I'm not gon play oblivious here, you do have a point.

But let me put myself in that shoe for a moment.

Let's say in the course of my hustling, I feel some emptiness, and I'm your wife.
Don't make life seem sooo herculean...and let's say I'm not the kind who is sooo busy.
But you are.
And I have needs at the moment.

I want to be listened to.
For once, I don't want it to be about the kids, I just want it to be about us.
Simply put, I need some sensual healing (not sexual)...
What would be your stance?
You'll most likely brush me aside, right?
See, there's no smoke without fire.
Ever wondered why Men are emotionally unavailable to their wives but are more than available to some hot-blooded chic out there?despite their hustling for the same money which makes them separate from their wives?
You see the selfishness I'm on about?
Well pray your wife is the kind who doesn't value being touched, spoken words of affirmation to, and stuff in those lines...
Because if she is and demands such from you, despite doing her own part to keep up with Family and you front with the business and kids story....
Oh well, may it not be like film in thine eyes, amen.

crackhaus:

Lmao.. got me defensive how?
I'm not the one who has to use trays and China ceramic ware just to prove I have self-love. IJoke, IJoke...

This is my point, I edited my previous post before you quoted it but here it is...

Self-love doesn't just have to be how you treat yourself physically, it should be more about how you see yourself mentally.
If someone has to deliberately do stuff just to prove to himself/herself how much self-love he/she's got, then something is very much wrong somewhere.

raumdeuter:


Thats why atimes its better to marry someone who is busy as well. Not someone whose lives are so different from you or someone who understand what is really going on

Its not that the partner is unavailable 100% of the time, but he is not as available as the other partner would want to. The lifestyle of a busy working woman is so crazy that they either schedule every emotional parole for

These men that have babe, How many time do they spend with their babe sef unless you want to blow it out of proportion. In this Lagos some people are in their office till 8 or 9pm

If both partners are teachers who close by 3pm they can be looking for emotional avaiability everyday but for most couples nowadays Its war

Some couples actually schedule time to eat during lunch on the Island during boths lunch break because thats the only time they would have together in the whole week

I would like to revisit this topic with you when you have two kids and a bank job in Lagos So we can see how the emotional thing is going

Marriage is responsibility especially when kids come into it. You are waking up by 5am, bathing first child, husband is in shower to come wear clothes for the children, before you finish bathing child 1, Child 2 has turned his potty upside down in the living room. Husband that should be dressing is now cleaning the floor, You are bathing the second child, feed them golden morn, while one child is not having an apetite

Both of you need to leave home by 6:15 else na traffic you go sleep

Omo to make it in life is not easy unless you would relocate to Nasarawa and pick up civil service job

Chillis:
M

What are you saying? Is it thé joker i called people that made you type all thèse. When féminists are called names.,no one Will find your input but Will quickly find you on thé reverse.

Madam, pls take thé back Seat i dont havé Time for plenty talk.

Edwife, m'y gadget is messing up. Thé french no wan disappear.

If you dont bêlieve in something,your business but dont Also try to rédicule others.

I suggest you and d'amiso should take her advise

MizMyColi:


Is there a chance that how you see yourself mentally could reflect in how you treat yourself physically?

Answer that sincerely and you'd see that this back and forth isn't necessary.

MizMyColi:


Okay, I get your point.
You are speaking for a particular category of people.
What I'd advise though is that you keep the word "compromise" handy.

Now, can we please come back to earth.
This thread is mainly for folks in the dating/courtship stage.
What's your take?

damiso:


Wanted to start again but no point

Ok madam.

raumdeuter:


Dating phase, If you cant stand anything your partner is doing simply walk out

if getting flowers everyday is your thing or going to movies or spend hours on the phone or anything and your partner isnt giving which you think its a deal breaker for you. simply cut it off

Cheeeiiiii!!!
You're even more brutal than I am!

Y'know what?
I owe you a holy kiss ---> in 2019...When PDP wins the presidency

crackhaus:

Absolutely, but not necessarily when you're by yourself and at the most ease.

Okay you know what, it seems I'm sensing attitude going by your second paragraph.
I agreed with all of your post except that example I highlighted, which is what my post dwelt on.

When you're by yourself in the comfort of your home and relaxed, it doesn't matter how you serve yourself food or drinks as regards self-love.
This is my point... get it?

kaboninc:


Lol.

I've never seen you fight on NL.

That's special.

If someone has to deliberately do stuff just to prove to himself/herself how much self-love he/she got, then something is very much wrong somewhere.

kaboninc:
Put too many women in a cage, none will be left alive.


What a troublesome set of individuals even among their clan.

If women were to rule this world, I would be walking around NAKEDDD and still latch onto my mother's bossomm. Even asking her to strap me on her back.

Thank God for men....at least there is orderliness....

Ngokafor:




....I dont know why you lots like to deceieve yourselves that you are peaceful,meanwhile your gender has turned the politics section of this site to a war zone all on the alter of politicians who do not give a rats bum about any of you.
...Dont even get me sttarted on our Universities and your cult wars over moronic supremacy and girls,that will be a story for anither day...Peaceful indeed.

damiso:


I don't even know what to say type again.....

See me defending us on another post . You people don fall my hand o


Na wa for NL.

@ OP nice original post by the way.

kaboninc:


Fake politics is what we're practising abi?

I chi you.

You also play politics. In whatever form you think it is, politics is played....and by you. Politics is just about acquiring power. Are you saying you have no intention of acquiring power....in whatever guise?

Life is about compromises. Politics is all about compromising between two alternative interests and these interests are usually personal even when we claim it is for a greater good.


As for my loff for her, a conviction will trial you. Lol. Jussss ask her. My loff over flows any container it feels and the earth is just the smallest.

francizy:


Didn't know the bolded is an animal ni oh!!!
Does he type with claws, cloven or split hooves??

KingTom:
revenge will come very soon! Ishi azu

UjSizzle:


Crackhaus, it's less about trying to prove to oneself how much "self-love" they've got, and more about doing something different for yourself. And the 'doing' has to be deliberate-- basically something outside your routine.
Personally I love to eat in the kitchen and serve everyone else in the living room. I don't care about these things so long it's what I want.

But self-love wasn't the point I was trying to make when I typed that (dunno about the others.) It's more like switching up things for yourself; treating yourself to something. You know like sometimes fantasizing about getting a massage, or visiting a cool vacation spot or dining in an exotic restaurant? Stuff like that. We call it doing something 'nice' for ourself.

So perhaps this feels a tad weird because they're everyday stuff that don't seem remotely special. If Coli makes a point of drinking off colourful mugs, then that's cool. If Enoquin and yours truly want to eat in a tray, then that's cool. It's our way to treating ourself to something different.


Btw, Hi. Hope you've been well

crackhaus:
Lol..

@Godpikin4, why didn't you type with your original moniker?

Godpikin4:
:.
Trust me,you don't know me but I have been here for long.

crackhaus:

Yea right...