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Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by samtol4(m): 11:47am On Sep 01, 2015
mercy1998:
As a South African girl not from Johannesburg either I can openly some woman in this country do approach guys especially in clubs. There are desperate people and there is a rumour doing rounds here about nigerian being gifted with their sexual organ and women want to experience it for themselves but if your man is loyal trust me you will be alright.
For every rumour there is element of truth .Yes u said d deep truth "women want to experience it themselves"
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Elegantdiva: 1:22pm On Sep 01, 2015
Funny enuff..every rumour said abt dm is true. That has bin my fear.. My bf cnfirmed it.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by soilsista(f): 2:55pm On Sep 01, 2015
Sunshine2016:


If you don't have anything meaningful to contribute, you don't have to say anything at all. I don't really understand most of what you've typed though, speak English.
I said you should be very afraid because those UJ/Wits girls will not give your man breathing space!! There was no need to bring your insecurities to NL undecided
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 3:02pm On Sep 01, 2015
mercy1998:
As a South African girl not from Johannesburg either I can openly some woman in this country do approach guys especially in clubs. There are desperate people and there is a rumour doing rounds here about nigerian being gifted with their sexual organ and women want to experience it for themselves but if your man is loyal trust me you will be alright.

I doubt you're South African. What crap! Drunk sluts at a club means approaching men is a South African thing? You can't compare things people do under the influence to things they'd do under normal circumstances. Rubbish!

PS: If you were really South African you'd know that most South African women think Nigerian men are ugly & smell bad. Now why would they wanna experience whatever with them if they think that way about them? Mnxm.

1 Like

Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 3:05pm On Sep 01, 2015
Elegantdiva:
Funny enuff..every rumour said abt dm is true. That has bin my fear.. My bf cnfirmed it.

What has your boyfriend confirmed? Are you a money grubbing, alum using female with a smelly vagina & is your boyfriend a drug dealer? Yanno, rumour has it too. Don't generalise people & stop talking shit while at it.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Elegantdiva: 3:15pm On Sep 01, 2015
Yea...none of the above...a self-made decent reserve career gf ... not a drunk slut wif no norm nd self value . Why are bin rude? uncalled....
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by kennycanny: 3:22pm On Sep 01, 2015
Elegantdiva:
Yea...none of the above...a self-made decent reserve career gf ... not a drunk slut wif no norm nd self value . Why are bin rude? uncalled....


What did your boyfriend confirm. I wish to know.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 3:23pm On Sep 01, 2015
Elegantdiva:
Yea...none of the above...a self-made decent reserve career gf ... not a drunk slut wif no norm nd self value . Why are bin rude? uncalled....

it is not uncalled for if you're going to say the rumours you heard about "them" is true. Who the Bleep is "them" ?Has your boyfriend met every South African girl? Don't talk out of your @ss if you expect being spoken to with respect.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by mercy1998(f): 4:16pm On Sep 01, 2015
PunkyVeer:


I doubt you're South African. What crap! Drunk sluts at a club means approaching men is a South African thing? You can't compare things people do under the influence to things they'd do under normal circumstances. Rubbish!

PS: If you were really South African you'd know that most South African women think Nigerian men are ugly & smell bad. Now why would they wanna experience whatever with them if they think that way about them? Mnxm.
I'm not open for any insults but I can safely say I'm not South African but I was born here and lived my entire life in SA and the spectrum I grew up in may be way different from yours but I know some people say hate comments not only about Nigerians but any foreigner person residing in SA. Anyway have a nice day.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Sveen: 4:23pm On Sep 01, 2015
Sunshine2016:
@ Ronald4lyf- I'm not selfish, I'm simply taking my time and trying to develop a string relationship before crossing the sex boundaries. Why can't a man wait for a woman he claims to care about until she is comfortable enough to go all the way? Is it an unreasonable request? It hadn't been years, we're taking about several months.

@ PunkyVeer- Goes without saying that a man is ultimately responsible for whatever decisions he takes. I'm merely trying to find about the sexual trends in SA, which he has since confirmed to be true.
Tochibabe.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Elegantdiva: 5:17pm On Sep 01, 2015
Wow..i cant exchange words with u.. Y ar u getting worked up over nofin. D big ass nd boobs, or they make the first move or they sex freak . lol. i have read, asked.. Check nl threads very well.. am not here to genelz d issue but most of them
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 5:21pm On Sep 01, 2015
Elegantdiva:
Wow..i cant exchange words with u.. Y ar u getting worked up over nofin. D big ass nd boobs, or they make the first move or they sex freak . lol. i have read, asked.. Check nl threads very well.. am not here to genelz d issue but most of them

Then most of you are money grubbing, alum using, smelly vagina & double dating ugly sluts. I also read, asked & checked. Now we're even. Do enjoy the rest of your evening grin
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by kennycanny: 6:39pm On Sep 01, 2015
PunkyVeer:


Then most of you are money grubbing, alum using, smelly vagina & double dating ugly sluts. I also read, asked & checked. Now we're even. Do enjoy the rest of your evening grin

Its only the money grubbing that can be correct o. Pls what do you mean by alum using smiley
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by vani86: 6:47pm On Sep 01, 2015
kennycanny:


Its only the money grubbing that can be correct o. Pls what do you mean by alum using smiley

Yes o @punkyveer only the money grabbing is true. But i understand why you are pissed about the whole stereotype bullshit.

Its annoying and uncalled for
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 6:48pm On Sep 01, 2015
kennycanny:


Its only the money grubbing that can be correct o. Pls what do you mean by alum using smiley

I read here they use alum to tighten their kitten after being bleeped by God knows how many men. It really irritates me when people make ignorant sweeping statements & that seem to be a trend on these streets. It's all good.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 6:50pm On Sep 01, 2015
vani86:


Yes o @punkyveer only the money grabbing is true. But i understand why you are pissed about the whole stereotype bullshit.

Its annoying and uncalled for

Thanks for understanding, hun.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by ololo12: 7:31pm On Sep 01, 2015
I want to set the record straight here. All that talk about SA girls tripping and falling over Nigerian guys is hullabaloo, and bullshit. Any SA girl that's after a Nigerian guy is because of the money the Nigerian guy has to throw around. I've been here for sometime and have seen things myself.

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Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by soilsista(f): 7:34pm On Sep 01, 2015
ololo12:
I want to set the record straight here. All that talk about SA girls tripping and falling over Nigerian guys is hullabaloo, and bullshit. Any SA girl that's after a Nigerian guy is because of the money the Nigerian guy has to throw around. I've been here for sometime and have seen things myself.
Thank you.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 7:37pm On Sep 01, 2015
ololo12:
I want to set the record straight here. All that talk about SA girls tripping and falling over Nigerian guys is hullabaloo, and bullshit. Any SA girl that's after a Nigerian guy is because of the money the Nigerian guy has to throw around. I've been here for sometime and have seen things myself.

Let them know! Just for the record, are you Nigerian, hun?
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by soilsista(f): 7:44pm On Sep 01, 2015
PunkyVeer:


Let them know! Just for the record, are you Nigerian, hun?
He is.

Hey stof sam' samalahla. Thambo lam' le Kentucky kiss
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 7:45pm On Sep 01, 2015
soilsista:

He is

Oh ok. His honesty is refreshing. I wonder if he dates a South African cherie grin
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by kennycanny: 8:07pm On Sep 01, 2015
PunkyVeer:


I read here they use alum to tighten their kitten after being bleeped by God knows how many men. It really irritates me when people make ignorant sweeping statements & that seem to be a trend on these streets. It's all good.



Eya, sorry I understand they have really pissed u off today.
Alum story is not true. one or two might have done such o. But its definitely a rare thin. BTW pussy no get metre , u can't no how many dick that have passed through it or number of times.
Stay fine pls.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by soilsista(f): 8:07pm On Sep 01, 2015
PunkyVeer:


Oh ok. His honesty is refreshing. I wonder if he dates a South African cherie grin
I doubt hey. He was here for holidays a few months back. Maybe...
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 8:13pm On Sep 01, 2015
soilsista:

I doubt hey. He was here for holidays a few months back. Maybe...

*looking at you suspiciously*

How do you know all this? grin Lol, just joking. Well I hope he enjoyed his stay & upon return, told everyone how we're not all a hateful lot. These generalisations aren't good at all. They're misleading.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by samtol4(m): 10:12pm On Sep 01, 2015
PunkyVeer:


I doubt you're South African. What crap! Drunk sluts at a club means approaching men is a South African thing? You can't compare things people do under the influence to things they'd do under normal circumstances. Rubbish!

PS: If you were really South African you'd know that most South African women think Nigerian men are ugly & smell bad. Now why would they wanna experience whatever with them if they think that way about them? Mnxm.
...U not been truthful ..."Most SA women think Nigerian men are ugly and smell bad"Yet 80perecent of SA want to date a Nigerian especially the educated ones .Make your points but stop lies

1 Like

Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by RudzSA(m): 5:01am On Sep 02, 2015
mercy1998:
I'm not open for any insults but I can safely say I'm not South African but I was born here and lived my entire life in SA and the spectrum I grew up in may be way different from yours but I know some people say hate comments not only about Nigerians but any foreigner person residing in SA. Anyway have a nice day.
we all knew u not South African ...Yo kind sticks out like a sore thumb . We can smell u from miles away
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by RudzSA(m): 5:03am On Sep 02, 2015
samtol4:
...U not been truthful ..."Most SA women think Nigerian men are ugly and smell bad"Yet 80perecent of SA want to date a Nigerian especially the educated ones .Make your points but stop lies
dreaming is fine we all do it ...but don't sleep walk into yo computer room nd start typing . Wake up ..u talking nonsense .
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by RudzSA(m): 5:13am On Sep 02, 2015
ololo12:
I want to set the record straight here. All that talk about SA girls tripping and falling over Nigerian guys is hullabaloo, and bullshit. Any SA girl that's after a Nigerian guy is because of the money the Nigerian guy has to throw around. I've been here for sometime and have seen things myself.
u are spot on . now this is a man who understands how things work here in S.A.I applaud such
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by drnoel: 5:32am On Sep 02, 2015
Sunshine2016:
Should I be concerned? Boyfriend has traveled to South Africa for 12 days for work/ holiday purposes.


Dear All,

First time poster here. Great and informative forum. Hoping you can assist me with some truthful advice.

I'm currently dating a guy whom I care about deeply. We've been dating for some months now. He's currently in South Africa ( Johannesburg specifically ) for a conference and a brief holiday thereafter, spending a total of 2.5 weeks.

Now my question is, should I be worried about him cheating on me or messing around with South African girls when he is there? I know he went out to some bars and clubs on Friday night and Saturday night. Some of the bars he went to are located around the "university area" ( is anyone familiar with that area?). I also know that he visited these clubs with some of his Nigerian friends who are based in SA.

I had no problem with him going clubbing ( he's on holiday and nothing wrong with a night out with friends) until I started reading some of the comments on this forum about SA women, their protruding backsides, their sex appeal and rumored casual/ liberated approach to sexual matters. Nigerian men on these boards describe SA women like goddesses who cannot be outmatched or even rivaled by Nigerian women and it's made me feel quite insecure, inadequate and jealous about my boyfriend as he's currently in SA . I asked him casually if "the rumours about SA womens' casual approach to sex are true" to which he responded "yeah I can't even lie, it's true". He also confirmed that SA women have no problem approaching a man and "toasting him" the way Nigerian men accost or chat up women here in Nigeria ( in terms of frequency and aggressiveness ).

Like many Nigerian men, the guy I'm dating frowns on female promiscuity ( and would never take a promiscuous woman seriously) but nonetheless really enjoys casual sex with casual lovers. ( double standard I know). He's a typical Yoruba man.

I've been told that I'm pretty and good looking... I get a lot of male attention. Im petite and slim and well educated with a good career. I'm 28 years ago if that's of any relevance to your assessment of the situation. I'm also a loving and kind person. Guess those are my good traits. I however have a conservative approach towards sex- I'm far from a virgin but I don't sleep around. I haven't had sex with my BF at this point because I'm trying to take it slow in that department and want to be certain about the direction of the relationship before going too far. He's asked for sex but I held back/ resisted- guess that makes me boring compared to the SA girls. We've kissed and engaged in some "petting" but no intercourse or oral (s*x). I'm trying to be careful because I don't want to make anymore mistakes.

In a nutshell, I'm a bit concerned and I'm admittedly feeling insecure about my boyfriend's trip to SA. I also feel a bit inadequate. Is he likely to cheat seeing as he went clubbing a few times in SA and admitted that the women are very sexually permissive? ( I don't mean to be disrespectful to SA women, no offence intended at all). Is he going to start comparing my body to theirs? After all I don't have a big bum or wide hips and we are currently not having sex although we've kissed etc. Do the SA women truly approach men and "toast" them? I can't block the images of him having steamy sex with a curvaceous South African woman and it's doing my head in!!

Your responses would be much appreciated.

Thank you for reading.



Wat u should be worried about is his returning alone not if he cheats.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 5:42am On Sep 02, 2015
samtol4:
...U not been truthful ..."Most SA women think Nigerian men are ugly and smell bad"Yet 80perecent of SA want to date a Nigerian especially the educated ones .Make your points but stop lies

Where did you pull the 80% from? From your rectum? If they want them, then what's stopping them? Why isn't 80% of South African women with Nigerian men right this moment?

Let me tell you something you might already know about South Africans in general. Every South African at one point or another may have experienced some dislike for foreigners to some degree. Varying degrees of being Xenophobic.Yes, even myself! We say the most horrible things that I'm not going to repeat here, that include ugly & smelly. There are South Africans here, ask them! Some are still going through it here as we speak. Even some members of my own family don't like foreigners. It's a process. An individual journey. The ignorance kinda disappears when one associates more with people, I can proudly say that about myself now. So your 80% in reality is a hallucination at best. In your dreams!

2 Likes

Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by soilsista(f): 7:42am On Sep 02, 2015
PunkyVeer:


*looking at you suspiciously*

How do you know all this? grin Lol, just joking. Well I hope he enjoyed his stay & upon return, told everyone how we're not all a hateful lot. These generalisations aren't good at all. They're misleading.
Lol he told me here on NL. It doesn't matter what we say hey these people don't like us nje. Mara akere we don't lose sleep over it. We don't care
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 7:46am On Sep 02, 2015
soilsista:

Lol he told me here on NL. It doesn't matter what we say hey these people don't like us nje. Mara akere we don't lose sleep over it. We don't care

Ja ne. Anyway, how are you morning, ngwana?

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