TaoBalinga:

i do this, but its like an habit for me..i cant keep up the act for a week, i just fall back to my old controlling self.. Maybe its the way im wired. Im not submissive, even if im wrong..its really killing my relationship with my gf.. And my friends and some family members. Especially my dad.

Wow! Why don't you seek therapy?

Trying being calm. Do not act or take in haste.

Dedicate more time to it. Know that You can do it.

Start a journal to monitor yourself, ask for her and your family's help while you are it, You will need feedbacks of your every actions. Take criticisms in good faith. Your journal should include your actions and the consequences (What the other person thought of you and how he/she felt including they uttered)

Believe that is fixable with time.

Change the way you think.

Always doubt yourself, try to second guess your opinions and actions- think about others while you at it. This is self-reflection (however be careful so that it does not generate to something else)


It is a serious issue, a relationship killer. You need to put in your best to fix it

enambobo:

My broda i don notice this lady tey tey, her mouth be like otapiapia. im fit destroy you.

I think she's just a kid seeking online attention. Unfortunately I don't see how to block her here yet. I no really get time for her childish talks.

oreos:


You are not practical!

The level of humility required of a richer and well educated woman is higher would be higher. if you were arguing and you happen to say the wrong thing, her first instinct will be to counter you because instinctively she knows you are wrong and she knows better than you are. You will be embarrassed although it will not be her intention, her knowledge is part of her. You will be asking for to much to ask her to not be who she is and that will definitely hurt you ego. And if she were a richer woman, it is either you consider her money as our money or not. if you consider her money as part of the family's common pocket she will be hurt if she thinks you are a spendthrift or if eventually you break up. She will consider herself used and might be willing to do some damages. However if she contributes as much as you do, How would you feel if she purchased a Cadillac because that is what she wants while you will be driving around with your Toyota Corolla. What man wouldn't feel intimidated if it happened in his home. A woman if she were 'wise or humble'in that situation will have to forgo her wants or wait long enough till she has enough to buy two Cadillacs.

What about her schedule? She is more likely to busier than you and that would mean less presence in the kitchen and the home. Are you willing to take that burden for the sake of her and her home?

my dear, in marriage, both parties belong to each other. in marriage, you don't consider what 'I want', but rather what 'we need'. if you consider this, then all instances you have given will not come into play, if it does, it will be wholly addressed.

SonOfEl:


my dear, in marriage, both parties belong to each other. in marriage, you don't consider what 'I want', but rather what 'we need'. if you consider this, then all instances you have given will not come into play, if it does, it will be wholly addressed.

What we need would come first and should be given priority but what I want is also important. If you focus on what you need every time, you will be unhappy and miserable. It is much worse if you are in a situation where you know it should not be a problem but due to factors beyond your control, they are. It is not going to be an easy task.

TaoBalinga:

brother, you are so correct.. Im a very egolistic guy, i just love being in control and seriously, this i killing my relationship with my current gf, she says i use to behave like i know all and i am always right.. Wat can i do to supress this please?

sir, try hard to discipline your desire for control. it happens to most men, so you are not alone in this. sometimes to be a better leader, YOU MUST EMPOWER OTHERS. So my brother, empower her...make her responsible too in making decisions that concerns you both. two heads in planning and decision making are better than one. trust me. fully handle only areas where you KNOW she is not capable of handling... she will even acknowledge you for that.

oreos:




What we need would come first and should be given priority but what I want is also important. If you focus on what you need every time, you will be unhappy and miserable. It is much worse if you are in a situation where you know it should not be a problem but due to factors beyond your control, they are. It is not going to be an easy task.

the kind of man you have determines it all my dear. you might have a rich but stingy man, or an average but considerate man, or an average yet inconsiderate man, or a rich and considerate man.

but remember, your home and marriage comes FIRST before personal desires. work it out with your man dear. and be patient with him too. because at the end of the day, if circumstances leaves you empty handed, he MUST cater for your needs.

what if he also insists on what hr wants? dear, just work wirht your hubby to a compromise.

castro316:


You are misplacing knowledge with wisdom. Wisdom and knowledge are two different things altogether.

Please educate me on the differences...

From my understanding about knowledge & wisdom. One is what you derived from earthy materials such as books and the other which is wisdom is divine. I.e infused into a man's life by God.

Those with wisdom in the bible were never poor or below average. King Solomon is a key example of a man with wisdom. He was the richest and most influential man during his time.

The wise men that went to see Jesus went with Gold, frankincense & myrrh. You should know how expensive these stones were during the early days. It shows they were living very fine.

Don't come here to contradict things. Your knowledge and wisdom is measure on the achievements you have made through it.

The bottom line is to marry a woman you can control both financially and emotionally. No matter your wisdom, money is the key language that speak.

If you can't control a woman, then you become her remote control. Ask your dad if he is still alive.

YourMain:
Looooool

my dear your laughter makes it seem l I e a dreadful adventure to embark on

YourMain:
Looooool

my dear your laughter makes it seem l I e a dreadful adventure to embark on

Midehi:
its only true love that can answer that

Its not about true love and i wonder why some guys are mentally insecure?

Maybe its because im an entrepreneur because if my wife happens to be richer then its an opportunity for me to even surpass her as i will gladly get a loan grant from her and invest in worthwhile businesses and then starts taking my place as the man in the home.

So logical. I guess guys with salary and Job mentality will feel insecure.

na dat one I even prefer

Terenceike:


my dear your laughter makes it seem l I e a dreadful adventure to embark on

Lol no I'm laughing cause of how fragile the male ego is. Is it a bad thing to be intelligent or rich ?

columbus007:
Hmmm future. Stingy wife

SonOfEl:
yes I can, both don't expect her not to use it against you at some point, because that's a woman for you. mind you what makes you a man is much deeper than more money and a bigger career. you wise judgements in crucial issues makes her trust you and obey you, because she will respect your views. two, if you are a romantic lover and fantastic in BEDmatics, she will call you lord, trust me.... three, once you are not the nosy and possessive type, it makes her free and herself with you..... there are many more deep things that tames any amazon queen or lioness as so called.

You know wetin dey!

[quote author=mekonglobal post=37720256][/quote]
Are they complaining to you? Pray tell me, how will he feed his family? By begging? Pls he should get any little thing to do before thinking of marriage.

refreshrate:


Time & tide my dear.
Time & tide. One policy from someone at the top and the seemingly employed guy is on the street.

Are you not in Nigeria?
Name one sector that boasts of job security today.

If he wasn't jobless when he got married it could still happen afterwards.
Bragging rights on employ no dey reign again o.

Pls. Someone who is jobless should look for something to do anyhow little to do before thinking of marriage. How is he going to feed his family?

There is nothing as attractive as an independent woman. It challenges u to do well.

Sabrwahaqqo:
Richer than me; why not! I'm no pauper too and the table can turn around anytime...

Educated than Me ; I wouldn't even get an er.ection!

lol' U is wicked

Norenal:
lol' U is wicked

Swiri, it's that I don't lie all the time

Sabrwahaqqo:


Swiri, it's that I don't lie all the time

lol' datz gud 2 know

Norenal:
lol' datz gud 2 know

Can I ask a private question?

Sabrwahaqqo:

Can I ask a private question?

sure

SonOfEl:


the kind of man you have determines it all my dear. you might have a rich but stingy man, or an average but considerate man, or an average yet inconsiderate man, or a rich and considerate man.

but remember, your home and marriage comes FIRST before personal desires. work it out with your man dear. and be patient with him too. because at the end of the day, if circumstances leaves you empty handed, he MUST cater for your needs.

what if he also insists on what hr wants? dear, just work wirht your hubby to a compromise.

Well, it is going involve a lot of sacrifices on both sides.

Most women will not have a problem if their husband drives Cadillac or correct them in public

Norenal:
sure

Good!
#the cloth on u @ dp. Can u explain what the inscription on it means to U?

Sabrwahaqqo:

Good!

#the cloth on u @ dp. Can u explain what the inscription on it means to U?

lol' its simple
Don't cheat on me ni

Norenal:

lol' its simple
Don't cheat on me ni

It's a reminder that I've not done that yet! So, don't wear that in the presence af your boifriend u hear?- That should do for a Sunday sermon

Sabrwahaqqo:


It's a reminder that I've not done that yet! So, don't wear that in the presence af your boifriend u hear?- That should do for a Sunday sermon

lOooOl.... I see

sure i can. but she wl be humble. . .
#YOLO

Norenal:
lOooOl.... I see

I thought you would lambaste me when I was asking u that question lol

Sabrwahaqqo:


I thought you would lambaste me when I was asking u that question lol

laughs' why??

Norenal:
laughs' why??

Nairaland is a preety dangerous place y'know

Sabrwahaqqo:


Nairaland is a preety dangerous place y'know

U're d 1st person telln me this tho